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Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Fri Apr 30 10:30am EDT

New NBA adage: Never challenge an old man at the rim

By Trey Kerby

It wasn't highly publicized, but Thursday night was Turn-Back-the-Clock Night in the NBA. No, there weren't any retro jerseys or tiny shorts. They didn't bring back old-time players like Oscar Robertson and Greg Oden. This was more about a couple of former Detroit Pistons playing like they were 15 years younger. It might sound like a weird promotion, but it was pretty awesome.

The first fossil to be reanimated was Antonio McDyess, who let Jason Terry know that he still has a little left in the tank.

Better luck next time, Jason. You've been around for a while, so you should know better than to be playing ball in Old Man McDyess' front yard. Sure, he seems gentle, but you know how he gets when you walk on his grass. It's not pretty.

After seeing that their prototype was successful, the shadowy overlords behind McDyess' rebirth immediately transported their proprietary rejuvenation machine to Phoenix. They were just in time for Grant Hill to confront Jerryd Bayless about respecting his elders.

Sorry, Jerryd. We should have told you about Grant. He's usually a really nice guy, but you'll learn that Mr. Hill gets really cranky when it comes to getting dunked on. That's just how he is. He's from a different era, so he doesn't know any better. You'll get used to it.

Honestly, I think it's really nice that we've found a way that old NBA players, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. Next thing you know, Tracy McGrady is going to be an All-Star again.

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