Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:50 am EST

NBA words of wisdom

A great quote can motivate, energize and enlighten the mind.

It can also make you scratch your head in disbelief and/or pee your slacks from laughing.

Lowposts.com has compiled a list of some of the funniest NBA quotes ever caught on tape. Here are a few favorites:

"Sam is an idiot. I-D-O-U-T. Idiot."
Shaquille O'Neal, responding to Chicago Tribune columnist Sam Smith's suggestion that the Miami Heat should trade the big man.

"Not really. I'm not a fan of Chinese food."
Bobby Simmons, on whether he's looking forward to playing in Japan.

"I enjoyed the Luge."
— Michael Jordan, on his visit to the Louvre Museum in Paris.

"I thought LeBron James was just going to be another addition to help me score."
Ricky Davis. Yeah, the Cavs really blew that one, didn't they?

"Yeah, I'm a little surprised. But nowadays, with snipers and Bin Ladens running around, don’t nothing really surprise me anymore. Kind of messed up to say, but, somebody told me they seen a flying monkey. There is flying monkeys, too! Flying squirrels and all kinds of sh--. Doesn't nothing surprise me these days."
Kevin Garnett, on whether he was surprised that the Timberwolves didn't sell out against Micheal Jordan and the Wizards.

Incredible. Check out Lowposts.com for a few more gems.

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31 Comments

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  1. Mau
    1. Posted by Mau Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    “Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”
    — Charles Shackleford.
    Hilarious!
  2. Ruckus Roger
    2. Posted by Ruckus Roger Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    The KG quote is great, and I also enjoyed the MJ one.
    Here is a great, but not as funny, Karl Malone quote that I gathered from NBA.com:
    “What excites me the most is when a coach calls a timeout and chews out his forward because I just dunked on his head.”
    -- Karl Malone
    OH, AND I'M FIRST! FIRST FIRST FIRST!
  3. Ruckus Roger
    3. Posted by Ruckus Roger Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    Ok, I meant that I was THIRD THIRD THIRD!
  4. Ruckus Roger
    4. Posted by Ruckus Roger Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    Did Ricky Davis really say that? Does anyone have a link to that article or video or something? I'd love to hear it.
  5. CB
    5. Posted by CB Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    yea Ricky Davis uhhhh sure. Nike is not going to give a kid 90 MILLION before he even plays thinking he is going to help you score buddy lol
  6. Mau
    6. Posted by Mau Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    Yeah, look at Ricky now, a reserve in a hapless Clippers team. Karma strikes wise!
  7. NBASeason2009
    7. Posted by NBASeason2009 Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:34 pm EDT

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    Hey J.E Skeets, I always send you videos via email and I always hope you post them in your blog,but instead you post some one elses video, for example, The Lebrowns commercial, I sent that to you at the 16th, and aznpowerdaniel uploaded that at the 18th and you used his. I even make HD highlights. If you want I got even watermark the video as "Ball Don't Lie".
  8. Ruckus Roger
    8. Posted by Ruckus Roger Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    Ricky Davis is, pound for pound, a better basketball talent than Lebron. His only problem was he smoked too much pot. I think Ricky is much better.
  9. yourdaddy
    9. Posted by yourdaddy Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:55 pm EDT

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    Stick with the hoops guys.
  10. mikevick
    10. Posted by mikevick Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:36 pm EDT

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    spelt michael wrong
  11. Ryan HEAICH
    11. Posted by Ryan HEAICH Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    The Pheonix Suns should be embarrassed after getting absolutely DESTROYED by the Celtics. The Suns lost by so much because their players DID NOT try hard enough. Honestly, a team with Steve Nash, Amare, and SHAQ should not lose to anyone on the planet by nearly thirty points. There was no hustle at all. I am no longer a Suns fan after tonight. What a disgrace.
  12. Ryan HEAICH
    12. Posted by Ryan HEAICH Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    By the way, Ruckus Roger...you are a complete retard. please kill yourself at earliest convenience.
  13. Ryan HEAICH
    13. Posted by Ryan HEAICH Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    Also NBAseason2009, please get off Skeets' johnson, its super desperate. get a life. instead of sending videos to Skeets like a little girl why dont you learn something about basketball. the fact that you have documented emails between you guys and you are referencing them here is beyond gay. Obviously Skeets is just not that into you. loser
  14. Adam M
    14. Posted by Adam M Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:00 pm EDT

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    You should have posted the one with Doug Collins.
  15. ADRIAN C
    15. Posted by ADRIAN C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:51 pm EDT

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    look if lebron and ricky davis didn't get in that fight in practice, in which ricky (that's right ricky davis) punched and started to kick lebron james's ass, before ex-cavs reserve center michael stewart (that's right the guy he got traded with to boston, also, chris mihm) could pull him off lebron. look you people don't know the full story on and about either one of these players 'cause if you did it would harm james great reputation that they have built up even before he's career in the nba. nobody knows lebron used to be a thug and criminal with a record and cornrows like ricky davis was forced to get rid of just so he could get signed by his uncle and father's hometown team growing up the clippers. so, for everyone's information ricky was the best player before and after lebron got on that team, anybody gets better or scorers more even gets more assists lebron with only role players and specialist. that means wally = threes, z= buckets down low and some boards, gibson= threes, wallace= blocks and boards, mo-will= assists and threes, varejao= energy and hustle and last d-west= assists and threes. williams and west together who are considered point guards barley are average as many assists as lebron does, now that doesn't mean he passes a lot it means he brings the ball down and he puts the ball on the floor and dribbles and shoots all the time and only whe n he's double and triple teamed sometimes does he pass it out to the obvious open three point specialist of his choice and also, anyone can pass and get assists passing to a 7"3 guy (who, is usually taller by 4 to 5 inches to any center he plays against). where, now ricky davis has never had a great supporting cast except for his short time with the t-wolves. in 2007 Davis was reunited with Pat Riley, and Riley admitted he made a mistake of trading Davis in the first place; "I made the mistake of trading him. He's a very talented kid. He was not a problem here. We just needed to move and get bigger players at that time. Over the last six years he has been very efficient." ricky now has a bad knee that is working its way back into full heath, we he gets fully healthy he's exspected to go to the same ricky he's always been there sixth man and spot starter or maybe even fulltime starter.
  16. ADRIAN C
    16. Posted by ADRIAN C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:51 pm EDT

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    ricky davis was heading to be an all-star if it wasn't for cry baby always get my way not 'cause i'm the best but, 'cause the nba maybe into something i'm not which is the total package. here's a great example before his ankle injuries of course GRANT HILL, lots of talent but, no help or at least he didn't know how to use it. hill had a coach and great support in college to help him win championships and lebron was placed in a high school level team that played small sized player high schools and no talent school. wow, he played melo once and look what happen he got owned and he played against dj strawberry who isn't even in the league anymore and he was only drafted last season.
  17. ADRIAN C
    17. Posted by ADRIAN C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:51 pm EDT

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    made me in something i'm not which is the total package i meant sorry
  18. Christopher D
    18. Posted by Christopher D Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:39 pm EDT

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    OK I'm not even sure what to say to someone who could actually use their brain and type out that Ricky Davis is better than Lebron James...the two actions seem mutually exclusive to me. Lebron James is quite possibly the most dominant force in the game right now...solid numbers across the board, good shooting percentage, good defense...not to mention that physically he's a freak of nature. He's unselfish enough to ensure that all his other players get involved in the game, yet when he turns it on he's unstoppable. Let's not forget that this is the guy who took the entire Cavs team on his back and carried them into the NBA Finals just a couple years ago. Ricky Davis is no scrub, but there is no way he could ever will himself and his team to a win the way Lebron did against the Pistons in that championship series...scoring all his team's points in overtime and the end of the 4th quarter. I'm not sure if there's anyone else capable of that right now...even Kobe.
  19. Janelle M
    19. Posted by Janelle M Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:29 pm EDT

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    Ricky Davis is better than LeBron. Roflmao!!!!!!!!! Give me a break people. Ricky has been a cancer on every team that he has ever played for, This article was entertaining for a change.
  20. Paul B
    20. Posted by Paul B Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:02 pm EDT

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    Ricky Davis?? The same guy who tried to shoot at the wrong hoop to get himself a rebound for a Triple-Double...... the user comments are funnier, and dumber than Ricky's comment.
  21. hotballer22
    21. Posted by hotballer22 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:20 pm EDT

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    bro yall cant say nothing about kg,kb,they beast of the game.KOBE BRYANT #1
  22. imtherealhansen
    22. Posted by imtherealhansen Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:23 pm EDT

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    Ricky Davis has never even been the best player on his tem, let alone one of the top two in the league and anyone who says he had that talent level has 0 basketball IQ, just cuz you have a huge man crush on the guy doens't make him a better player than he actually is. Davis is at best a decent 6th man on a bad team, on a good team he may be the 8th guy. He doesn't play hard, and couldn't stop Mark Eaton from getting by him off the dribble. I do agree LeBron whines on alevel usually reserved for old timers and legends so he should shut his mouth for a few years or at least wait til he gets a ring. He cries more than shaken babies!!!
  23. RatinMyComp
    23. Posted by RatinMyComp Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:53 pm EDT

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    who d hell cares. they are in the nba, not the mensa league.. duuuuuhhhhhh..
  24. jon r
    24. Posted by jon r Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    ADRIAN C must be ricky davis. theres is no other way a rational human being can say davis is better than james. adrian, even though your head is clearly up your a** you still can't see s***.

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