Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:50 am EST
A great quote can motivate, energize and enlighten the mind.
It can also make you scratch your head in disbelief and/or pee your slacks from laughing.
Lowposts.com has compiled a list of some of the funniest NBA quotes ever caught on tape. Here are a few favorites:
"Sam is an idiot. I-D-O-U-T. Idiot."
— Shaquille O'Neal, responding to Chicago Tribune columnist Sam Smith's suggestion that the Miami Heat should trade the big man.
"Not really. I'm not a fan of Chinese food."
— Bobby Simmons, on whether he's looking forward to playing in Japan.
"I enjoyed the Luge."
— Michael Jordan, on his visit to the Louvre Museum in Paris.
"I thought LeBron James was just going to be another addition to help me score."
— Ricky Davis. Yeah, the Cavs really blew that one, didn't they?
"Yeah, I'm a little surprised. But nowadays, with snipers and Bin Ladens running around, don’t nothing really surprise me anymore. Kind of messed up to say, but, somebody told me they seen a flying monkey. There is flying monkeys, too! Flying squirrels and all kinds of sh--. Doesn't nothing surprise me these days."
— Kevin Garnett, on whether he was surprised that the Timberwolves didn't sell out against Micheal Jordan and the Wizards.
Incredible. Check out Lowposts.com for a few more gems.
Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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— Charles Shackleford.
Hilarious!
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Here is a great, but not as funny, Karl Malone quote that I gathered from NBA.com:
“What excites me the most is when a coach calls a timeout and chews out his forward because I just dunked on his head.”
-- Karl Malone
OH, AND I'M FIRST! FIRST FIRST FIRST!
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