Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Sometime during the late (blog) hours of Wednesday, July 30th, criminal mastermind Tom Ziller donned a black Neoprene wet suit and swam under the security-rigged laser beams into the Getty Images compound. Once inside, Ziller rummaged through the archives until he found exactly what he was looking for: photos of the new Wolves, Kings and Magic jerseys.

On the right, Minnesota's new look, modeled by LL Cool Kevin Love.

Because I still rock t-shirts with Alaskan otters on them, I invited a real fashion expert to critique the new jerseys for us. After the jump, my girlfriend breaks down the updated looks.

On the Wolves: First off, both the old and new jerseys are awful. The new guy on the right looks embarrassed to be photographed in it. That's why he's spinning the basketball — he's trying to distract you.

The color palette is horribly bland. That washed-out slate blue and an off-white looks really strange next to his skin. Couldn't they have incorporated something a little more powerful, something with a little more "pop," in terms of color? And what in the world is going on around the neck — is it a V-neck with an insert to make it look like a round neck collar? Why does it look he's wearing two other shirts underneath? Horrible neck line.

I also don't like the text — it's much too small. Is "Minnesota" really that big of a word? I do like that they're using a less pointy font, but the one they picked for the numbers is strange. I don't know if it's the spacing, but it feels a little cartoon-ish.

Overall, the new look actually looks really old — and not in a cool, retro ironic sort of way. It's much too boring.

*****

UPDATE (9/9-10): Images of the new Kings and Timberwolves jerseys have been removed per the NBA's request.

On the Kings: I like the V-neck on both, but the black-and-white piping on the old one made it look a little dated. Removing that was a good idea. It looks more modern.

Even though it's purple, I can see the new version being a more commonly purchased jersey. It's an appealing design that you could wear without drawing too much attention to yourself. I mean, you want to support your home team, but it sure helps when it looks put together, right?
(Ed. Note: Um, I guess.)

Maybe it's just the photos you selected, but the fit of the new jersey is a lot closer to the body, which makes the older one look sloppier by comparison. Did they take it in at the sides to accentuate the waist?

Overall, the new look is a nice, simple upgrade. 

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