I won't name names or where I found this, but the first six episodes of Gilbert Arenas' new reality television show have been leaked onto the Internet, months before Gil's even decided whether he's going to film the series. (I know, weird, eh?) But here they are, all six episode summaries. The show sounds pretty entertaining.

Season 1 | Episode 1: "The Bed and Breakfast"
Gilbert Arenas is determined to open a quaint Bed and Breakfast called 'Nacho Pillows,' except he has no money after installing a million-dollar poolside grotto. So after meeting with his financial consultant (Dominic McGuire in glasses), Gil decides to hold a big ol' garage sale. Overwhelmed by the amount of miscellaneous junk he has in storage, Gil calls in his good friend Nick Young to help him sort through the mess. They attempt to catch a bullhead shark with BBQ tongs. Hijinx ensue.

Season 1 | Episode 2: "The Birthday"
Gil turns 27 and receives a Terra Wind Amphibious RV from all of his teammates. (Well, except for Pecherov — he opts out of the group gift to buy Gil a previously viewed "Avenging Angelo" DVD.) Darius Songaila tries to organize a secret post-shoot around party for Gil, but Coach Eddie Jordan quickly squashes those plans because they have a game later that night. Furious, Songaila quits the team, flies back to Lithuania, and gets into the hotel management business.

Season 1 | Episode 3: "The Big City"
The Wizards take a bite of the Big Apple when they travel to New York to play the Knicks. After an embarrassing loss to the hometown team, the Wiz try to relax with a dinner at Andray Blatche's favorite haunt, the macabre Jekyll & Hyde Restaurant. But the good times are shortly interrupted when Brendan Haywood becomes convinced there is an evil spirit trapped in his pumpkin tortellini. Gil eats the meal to prove him wrong. The next day, they all go to a taping of The View.

Season 1 | Episode 4: "The Vasectomy"
Gil thinks about getting a vasectomy, but it proves to be a tougher decision than he initially thought. Pecherov has unsteady hands. Meanwhile, DeShawn Stevenson calls in sick to work on his own Wikipedia page. ("DeShawn Stevenson, born April 3, 1981 in Fresno, California, is a warrior, man, a true warrior.")

Season 1 | Episode 5 | "The Race"
Gilbert and Nick head to a professional car race to check out the new Indy Car team Gil just bought a stake in (Team Phantom). Nick begs Gil to let him take the car for a spin, but Gil says no. ("You're horrible at Mario Kart, Nick!"). Of course, that doesn't stop young Nicholas. While Gil is busying singing the national anthem, Nick takes the car out onto the track and somehow ends up in the race. He finishes fourth.

Season 1 | Episode 6: "The Fast"
Can Caron go without Mountain Dew for an entire day? That's what Gilbert wants to find out. Gil tells every Wizards player, coach, trainer and vendor one very simple message: "Don't give Caron a Mountain Dew." It's a long day, but in the end the All-Star forward logs 24 extreme-beverage-free hours. Unfortunately, though, by the time the fast is over he's addicted to crack. Caron fails a drug test and is suspended three years. The Wizards fail to make the playoffs. Gil hosts a progressive rock concert in his solarium.

By the way, word has it the producers of the show are looking for new episode ideas. So, hey, leave your own Gil episode summaries in the comments and I'll see if I can get them in the right hands. Yeah, I'm pretty well connected.

Have a great weekend, folks.