Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Tue Mar 16 04:45pm EDT

Dirk Nowitzki, 'mathematicsized'

Mathematicsized breaks players down to their bare minimums, then builds them back up. Confused? See here or here. Suggestions? Do the email thing.

Take character actor Joel Moore's long neck, googly eyes, and ill-defined facial hair and put it in a basketball jersey. Then take that and multiply it by the hair and essence of Sig Hansen, captain of the Northwestern and star of "Deadliest Catch." What comes out is everyone's favorite German sharpshooter, Dirk Nowitzki(notes).

Of course, you also get a person who loves to crack wise and probably smells like crab. So again, Dirk Nowitzki.

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