Ball Don't Lie - NBA

I know Grant Hill(notes) is old for the NBA, but does he really need to take a nap on the court? That seems dangerous. You'd think a guy who's been around the league as long as Grant has would know not to fall asleep during play. Best caption wins NoDoz. Good luck.

Previously, Rudy Fernandez(notes) tries to take over the world.

Winner, indeedproceed: "Rudy: What is your father, dear? ls he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? How quickly the boys found you. All those tedious, sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out, getting anywhere, getting all the way to the N-B-A.
Nicholas Batum: Coach! He iz doings ze creepy voices again! Coach McMillions! Ze Hanni-ball Lecter voices!
Rudy: Quid Pro Quo, Clarice. Quid. Pro. Quo."

Runner-up, Jason: "The Spanish Dr. Evil: Oh hell, let's just do what we always do. We'll hijack the kneecaps from all the big men in the league and hold them for ransom... ONE MILLION EUROS!"

Second runner-up, The Football God: "Finally, a tie in arm wrestling."

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