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Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:15 pm EDT

Create-a-caption: 'THE ECONOMY DON'T LIE!!'

By J.E. Skeets

Mr. Rasheed Wallace of the Detroit Pistons directs traffic/sings opera while pumping gas during the Pistons 'Paint The Town' Free Gas Giveaway yesterday at the Meijer Store in Auburn Hills. Best caption wins some windshield wiper fluid. Best of luck.


After the jump, Chris and Chri— er, Garth.


Winner, The Layt Show:
After the announcement regarding restaurants and camps, Garth Brooks and Chris Paul got down to the real business: the merger of Wrangler and Jordan. The first shoe, made with rattlesnake skin and rubber, slips on like a boot but features "sweet" air bubbles in the heel. The name of the shoe: The Malone.

Runner-up, Manny:
CP3: "Kevin Costner!?!?! No way, I thought you were dead ..."

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56 Comments

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  1. Geoff T
    1. Posted by Geoff T Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    After taunting the Exxon station across the street with his operatic song, Wallace received his second technical of the day and was forced to drive home in a Segway.
  2. DICK SMOTHERS
    2. Posted by DICK SMOTHERS Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Figaro...figaro...figaroooooooo.
  3. Nightmare
    3. Posted by Nightmare Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:45 pm EDT

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    "I smoke two joints in the morning
    I smoke two joints at night
    I smoke a joint while pumping gas
    It makes me . . . Hey! That guy stole my grass?!"
  4. Jeff Wong
    4. Posted by Jeff Wong Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    Sheed: Fans, Herrmann, Michigan, lend me your ears!
  5. IchiDeath
    5. Posted by IchiDeath Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    Rasheed is arguing a technical foul called on him by the gas pump attendant for putting the pump in upside down.
  6. TheNetsAreScorching.wordpress.com
    6. Posted by TheNetsAreScorching.wordpress.com Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:12 pm EDT

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    "Both attendants pumped (gas) hard"
  7. Jeff Wong
    7. Posted by Jeff Wong Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    Sheed: Does anybody have change for $1000?!
  8. rccostner
    8. Posted by rccostner Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:31 pm EDT

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    It's "other careers exploration day" for the Pistons. Here, Rasheed Wallace explores what life would've been like had he never played basketball.
  9. rccostner
    9. Posted by rccostner Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:31 pm EDT

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    this was taken right before a Pacers fan threw a beer....
  10. rccostner
    10. Posted by rccostner Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:31 pm EDT

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    yall catz may be givin' away this gas fo' free, but 'Sheed don't do $*&! fo' free. somebody betta be hustlin' to get me some chili dogs, some cheese fries, and a drank. this bull$*&! diet and conditioning program these catz got me doin' is a bunch of $*&!
  11. rccostner
    11. Posted by rccostner Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:31 pm EDT

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    hold up! these catz givin' this gas away fo' free?! yo, chauncey....get my car over here. i gots to get me some of dis.
  12. Mr. T
    12. Posted by Mr. T Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:53 pm EDT

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    sheed is a classy fella
  13. DICK SMOTHERS
    13. Posted by DICK SMOTHERS Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Rasheed wallace even complains while pumping gas.
  14. Eddie L
    14. Posted by Eddie L Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:52 pm EDT

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    Rasheed Wallace, after not being able to lock down a starting gig, works at the local gas station doing his best rendition of Hamlet, with his famous line "To Pump or not to Pump." Hamilton, meanwhile, has been waiting an hour and a half for his unleaded gasoline, just smiling and pondering about what life would've been like on the Wizards.
  15. Eddie L
    15. Posted by Eddie L Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:52 pm EDT

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    As if the 6-11 230lb. frame didn't give it away, Wallace subtly wears a Pistons Sweater to top it all off. Hamilton, on the other hand, is tired of people throwing change at him, and telling him to get a job.
  16. Southpaw
    16. Posted by Southpaw Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:34 pm EDT

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    Rasheed sadly looks at the giant Twinkie in the distance that has evaded him since 3 a.m. this morning. He will remorsefully dig into a bag of Fun Yuns to alleviate the pain.
  17. Phantom Balls of Earl
    17. Posted by Phantom Balls of Earl Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:50 pm EDT

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    Rasheed III, Act 1, scene 1.
    "Now is the winner of all discontent made glorious pumper..."
  18. Phantom Balls of Earl
    18. Posted by Phantom Balls of Earl Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:50 pm EDT

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    ...and because I can't resist:
    Sheed: "Yo, everybody! Billups over here! Billups with gas over here!"
  19. RufusOnFire.com
    19. Posted by RufusOnFire.com Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:39 pm EDT

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    Thus sayeth Rasheed unto the oil barons: "Let my people go!"
  20. wadejared
    20. Posted by wadejared Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:38 pm EDT

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    "It was a good bailout, both parties fought hard."
  21. flash
    21. Posted by flash Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    "Break yo self foo!!!!"
  22. Lajames W
    22. Posted by Lajames W Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:06 pm EDT

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    I don't care as long as they CTC (cut the check)... We get paid what??? F this I want a trade to BP!!!! I gotta feed my family.
  23. NBA Fan
    23. Posted by NBA Fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:13 pm EDT

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    Somebody get me a stick of LeBron's gum!
  24. Ty
    24. Posted by Ty Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:26 pm EDT

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    Sheed: "What light through yonder window breaks?"
    Car owner (off-screen): "What window?"
    *breaks window with pump handle*
    Sheed: "That one."
  25. dpiston
    25. Posted by dpiston Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:36 pm EDT

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    A look into the future if Sheed and the boys don't make the finals again.

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J.E. Skeets

Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

Contributors:
Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Nick Friedell, Garbage Time All-Stars, Blair Johnson,

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