Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

Create-a-caption: 'Steve, do the moonwalk again'

By J.E. Skeets

Baron Davis(notes) asks his "step brother" Steve Nash(notes) to bust a couple of dance moves during the Clips/Suns game at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Wednesday night. Best caption/imaginary conversation wins a bicycle built for two. Good luck.

After the jump, officials review the touchdown.

Winner, dorfineer:
"Captain's log, it's good to be back in command after having been replaced by those evil body double referee aliens. We can now continue our long standing tradition of ruining games and allowing star players to travel in the lane ..."

Co-runner-up, ty!:
"Yup, that's him. Get him out before he throws his beer at you know who."

Co-runner-up, misterj:
"After review, the call on the court is confirmed ... Kobe indeed stayed inbounds, spilt four Clipper defenders, broke two ankles, flew into the lane and dunked on Kaman ... all while staring at his 4th championship ring. Clippers will be charged a time-out. Please reset the clock to 4:20." (blows whistle)

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64 Comments

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  1. Wayne
    1. Posted by Wayne Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:17 pm EDT

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    Look that's the spot where I'm about to get injured and flush another season down the drain.
  2. Rafael
    2. Posted by Rafael Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:18 pm EDT

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    Baron: Ah, why so serious.....
  3. Jason P
    3. Posted by Jason P Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    Baron Davis: "Heh... heheheh..."
    Steve Nash: "Yo B-Dog, you got that crazy look in your eye again!"
    Baron Davis: "eeeeheheh... heheheh..."
  4. Rafael
    4. Posted by Rafael Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    Baron: Nah fo real bro, your shoes ARE untied!
  5. alka
    5. Posted by alka Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    Baron: So if you were born down in South Africa, does that makes you Black?
    Steve: I prefer to be called "African-Canadian"
  6. indeedproceed
    6. Posted by indeedproceed Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    Baron Davis implements phase one of his complex circle game strategy. For the first two games, he doesn't even make the circle with his thumb and forefinger. Instead, he builds up Steve Nash's muscle memory at just looking down at his finger. Later, sometime around the two teams' third meeting, then he will breakout the circle. Then indeed, there will be a reckoning.
  7. Tall John
    7. Posted by Tall John Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:24 pm EDT

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    Nash: I know I know... I stepped on a steaming-hot pile of sh!t. I'm trying my best to smear it all over ur home-floor.
    Davis: That's disgusting! You know how long it's gonna take to clean up?!
    Nash: Nope... Please tweet & let us know when you're done.
  8. jakew
    8. Posted by jakew Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:25 pm EDT

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    Davis: "Yo Elton come set the pick right her......o yeah thats right no body wants to be a clipper."=/
  9. my name is Jason
    9. Posted by my name is Jason Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:30 pm EDT

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    Davis: "What's that?"
    Nash: "The three point line."
    Davis: "Don't mind if I do!
  10. gaborik10m
    10. Posted by gaborik10m Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    Steve, this is a free throw, no defense allowed..., and you need to stand there.
  11. TAIRY GREENE
    11. Posted by TAIRY GREENE Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:34 pm EDT

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    "...are those soccer cleats?"
  12. Mark S
    12. Posted by Mark S Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    Baron: "Hey Steve, you want an assist? Pull my finger."
  13. MansurK
    13. Posted by MansurK Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    Davis: "I know you're old but those are the ankles I'm going to snap right now"
  14. Noam S
    14. Posted by Noam S Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:37 pm EDT

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    BD: I'm tellin you man, I'm motivated this season. My beard can reach all the way down *there*
  15. Big S
    15. Posted by Big S Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:37 pm EDT

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    Steve Nash is mesmerized as the beard, like a black hole, steadily grows as it consumes all light and matter, releasing only the occasional erratic three pointer from its massive form.
  16. Jason P
    16. Posted by Jason P Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    Baron Davis, the only point guard in the NBA that can use all three sides of his brain simultaneously. The right (creative) side of the brain is looking for an alley-oop pass to a cutting Al Thorton, the left (logical) side of the brain is looking for Chris Kaman posting up in the paint, while the back (muscle coordination) of the brain is having a conversation with Steve Nash. Steve Nash learns first hand that Baron Davis should avoid speaking when the left and right side of his brain are occupied.
    Baron Davis: "Baba googoo deedah lepoo."
    Steve Nash: "Huh?! Dude! Focus!"
    Baron Davis: (Eyes square up on Nash) "Oh man... my bad..."
  17. m1
    17. Posted by m1 Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:41 pm EDT

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    i'm going this way, not!
  18. James M
    18. Posted by James M Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:44 pm EDT

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    Im' Gonna bomb a 3 from right there,and I DARE you to contest...I'll show you why they call be BARON SLICE!
  19. Hambone
    19. Posted by Hambone Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:51 pm EDT

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    "I realize D'Antoni misses you, but he needs to stop crying and let go of your leg, or we aren't going to be able to finish this game."
  20. NativeSun
    20. Posted by NativeSun Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:56 pm EDT

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    BD: I know you drank it, Steve!
    Nash: Baron, I don't know what you're talking about.
    BD: My Slim Fast Shake!!
    Nash: Slim Fast? Baron, I've always been this skinny. I don't need slim fast.
    BD: LIAR!!! It was right THERE!!!! It was there just a second ago and now it's gone?! I know it was you. You probably fed ex'd it Shaq. You've always that mean sense of humor.
    Nash: Baron, calm down, man.
    BD: No. I WON'T calm down. First Elton lies. Then Dunleavy said we could fastbreak - LIE. Then Sterling said we weren't cursed - LIE. You're all liars. Just for that, I'm not shaving for a year.
  21. dorfineer
    21. Posted by dorfineer Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:58 pm EDT

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    Next on ESPN: the Beard vs. the Hair. Who will win? We don't know, but we do know it's going to be a fuzzy stick mess!
  22. dorfineer
    22. Posted by dorfineer Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:58 pm EDT

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    check that, sticky mess
  23. Jmart
    23. Posted by Jmart Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:06 pm EDT

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    Hey Steve, guess where there is more hair, where I'm pointing at or on my face. Come on, guess.
  24. gerrick r
    24. Posted by gerrick r Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:10 pm EDT

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    Baron: Hey! Is that Celine Dion?
    Nash: I'm not falling for that one again...
  25. Jason P
    25. Posted by Jason P Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:12 pm EDT

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    Steve Nash: "So Baron, what's up with the beard?"
    Baron Davis: "David Stern said he needed our help. He's taking the NBA in a new direction. He told me that he's going to use the players' facial hair to carpet all the courts across the league... you know, like Tennis! So, where's your beard?"
    Steve Nash: "I guess I missed the memo." (laughs under his breath)

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

Contributors:
Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Dan Devine, Adrian Wojnarowski & Marc J. Spears,

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