Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Mon Dec 08, 2008 12:40 pm EST

Create-a-caption: Ballin' on a prayer

By J.E. Skeets

The Wolves are on the brink of firing have fired coach Randy Wittman, according to Jim, NBA sources and oh, me last week. But Al Jefferson says it doesn't matter who holds that clipboard: "They could do whatever they wanted to do," Jefferson said of Wolves management. "But it starts right here in this locker room with us. Jesus Christ himself could come out here and coach us, but if we don't go out there and play hard and play together, it won't mean nothing." Yikes. Best caption wins a hug. Best of luck.


After the jump, Rocky gets high.


Winner, Hambone:
With tough economic times leading to layoffs in the maintenance department, everyone has to do their part when the Jumbotron goes on the fritz.

Runner-up, tmic23:
Little does everyone know, that within the mascot's costume, lies Sam Mitchell.

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30 Comments

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  1. devin c
    1. Posted by devin c Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:44 pm EDT

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    Speak No Wins, Smell No Wins, Hear no Wins
  2. Greg W
    2. Posted by Greg W Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:13 pm EDT

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    The distraught Minnesota Timberwolves look on as Kevin McHale dismisses Coach Christ before he can even make his debut. However, all is not lost for Ryan Gomes. Seeing JC's smile as he ascends, Gomes gets the feeling that he may soon find himself traded to a contender.
  3. Jeff Wong
    3. Posted by Jeff Wong Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    (I want a hug! Five hundred dollars ... and one penny.)
    Gomes watches the scoreboard innocently while all his teammates deal with "the stomach flu" and the Wolves march towards the post-Kevin McHale era.
  4. tmic23
    4. Posted by tmic23 Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:13 pm EDT

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    So I hear Sam Mitchell's available, people say he looks like a black Jesus... or was it the devil? Did Kevin Garnett ever return our calls asking him to come back? At least we still have our fans... oh wait.
  5. Helix
    5. Posted by Helix Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:27 pm EDT

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    Post #1 devin c wins. Contest over. No runner up needed. Perhaps have the runner-up caption be just a referral to the winner to recognize how perfect it is.
  6. jlpamc
    6. Posted by jlpamc Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    Jesus Christ's name was removed from the list of coaching candidates after it was revealed that he couldn't work on Sundays. Jesus said at a press conference he may be in line for the Detroit Piston's job as they don't show up on Sundays either.
  7. Brandon G- Talkhoops.net
    7. Posted by Brandon G- Talkhoops.net Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:09 pm EDT

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    Kevin Ollie: See the trick to a great mustache is constant care. That's why I gently apply Mother of Pearl to it during timeouts instead of listening to Wittman.
  8. zolanipetelo
    8. Posted by zolanipetelo Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:01 pm EDT

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    thinking to themselves
    Smith: I can't believe McHale's the new coach...
    Ollie: I can't believe he traded for Randy Foye...
    Gomes: I can't believe it's not butter...
  9. tupark82
    9. Posted by tupark82 Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:23 pm EDT

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    The prize is not very inspiring...
  10. mcwelk
    10. Posted by mcwelk Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:14 pm EDT

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    The three wise men followed the North Star to 'Sota, only to realize it had relocated to Dallas.
  11. Hambone
    11. Posted by Hambone Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    Ollie: Alright, my turn. Would you rather... grow Love's chinstrap, or wear McHale's sweaters?
    Smith: Man, that's tough. Those sweaters are ugly, but that chinstrap would take forever to trim.
    Gomes: 7:56, 7:55, 7:54...
  12. DICK SMOTHERS
    12. Posted by DICK SMOTHERS Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    From left to right:
    "man, my breath stank!"
    "man, my breath stank, too!"
    "oh my god, both they breath stank!"
  13. curtis
    13. Posted by curtis Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:18 pm EDT

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    Kevin McHale is their coach now. What other type of reaction would you expect?
  14. league of crutch
    14. Posted by league of crutch Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:57 pm EDT

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    #1 devin c hands down bub. game over fellas
  15. chillyfromphilly
    15. Posted by chillyfromphilly Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:33 pm EDT

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    yet another coach gets fired over something thats not his fault at all.teams tend to fire the coach when its management/owners job to get better players. with the players the t-wolves had... and playing in the west, were they really supposed to be better than they are? i mean lets be honest, they dont have half of the talent that the blazers have and the blazers will be hard pressed to make the playoffs in the west. i don't know about jesus( that was funny) coaching but it really doesnt matter who's the coach. the t- wolves flat out need better players
  16. Jaceman
    16. Posted by Jaceman Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    Gomes: Why do they keep playing Queen over the PA?
  17. Guest
    17. Posted by Guest Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:49 pm EDT

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    Ryan Gomes: How many minutes left?
    Craig Smith: *YAWN*- It's only the first quarter...
    Ryan Gomes: We're already down by 20.
    Kevin Ollie: I guess I'm going in now then.
    Randy Wittman: I'm going to get fired, so I don't care who goes in-
    Kevin [Ollie], Rodney [Carney], Corey [Brewer] --
    Corey Brewer: I'm out for the season, coach!
    Randy Wittman: Sorry, I forgot.
    -- Calvin Booth, Mark Madsen, and Jason Collins.
  18. Fuller, Go easy on the Pepsi!
    18. Posted by Fuller, Go easy on the Pepsi! Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:46 pm EDT

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    Rosie O'Donnell was in the upper balcony, NAKED!
    Craig Smith and Kevin Ollie just looked away as fast as they could.
    Ryan Gomes turns around and sees the terrible sight.
  19. SunToTheDeep
    19. Posted by SunToTheDeep Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    #1 devin c doesnt even need competition
  20. OG Warrior Fan
    20. Posted by OG Warrior Fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:55 pm EDT

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    Kevin Ollie and Craig Smith react to Mark Madsen checking into the game, while Randy Foye checks the jumbotron to confirm it.
  21. Michael Scott
    21. Posted by Michael Scott Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:18 pm EDT

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    The Minnesota T-Wolves look on in boredom as their teamates on the court cower beneath the awesome might of Zach Randolph and the Clippers
  22. Celts fan
    22. Posted by Celts fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:12 pm EDT

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    After Kevin Garnett finished yelling at Glen 'Big Baby' Davis, he made an incognito appearance in the Minnesota locker room at halftime and made everyone cry.
  23. akBeezy
    23. Posted by akBeezy Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:44 pm EDT

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    Ollie: My mustache is a thing of beauty. These guys are so jealous. That's what Gomes' is always daydreaming about, and everyone else is just ashamed.
  24. thejumpoff_24
    24. Posted by thejumpoff_24 Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:04 pm EDT

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    The last straw for Randy Wittman came when he told his players "I don't give playing time to people who i can beat up"
  25. The Devil
    25. Posted by The Devil Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:33 pm EDT

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    Smith: Yo Kevin, check out that hot dancer.
    Ollie: Where?
    Smith: That one over there in the jersey with the hot body that's got her back turned.
    Ollie: Uh, that's Mike Miller.
    (Miller turns around)
    Smith: Oh God, I'm gonna be sick.
    Gomes: (To himself) The Lakers don't need a small forward. Unless maybe they wanted to trade Odom. I'd fit in good with those guys. Be the best former Celtic to go to the Lakers since Travis Knight. They could send me to the Spurs. Now that team needs a young forward. Yep, I'd say the Spurs are really only a Ryan Gomes away from another championship. Or maybe Phoenix..."

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

Contributors:
Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Nick Friedell, Garbage Time All-Stars, Blair Johnson,

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