Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:30 pm EDT

Create-a-caption: 'AND THE ROCKETS RED GLARE ...'

By J.E. Skeets

The MOUTHPIECE Blog has been in existence for a mere seven hours, and already they're pointing us in the direction of grade-A create-a-caption content. CP3, Bosh, Dwight and Kobe celebrate on the podium after the men's basketball gold medal match of the Beijing Olympics. What are they yelling? Best caption/primal screams win my respect and admiration.

(Note: I would tell you to write every caption in caps lock, but I think Yahoo! created some type of filter to keep the "comment yelling" to a minimum. Remember Que Rico, anyone?) 


After the jump, Sarunas pleads to be awarded a fourth place medal.

Gold, James @ The Sport Count:
You just do this, and Larry Bird gives you $3 million.

Silver, Jermaine:
Sarunas: I am begging you! You have to believe me when I tell you I played in the NBA. That was me at the end of the Warriors bench clapping and waving the towel like a mad man. I was going to be the next Sarunas Marciulionis! We both have the same first name it was suppose to be destiny!!!

Rimanatas: I have seen Sarunas Marciulionis play and you sir are no Sarunas Marciulionis. He was the 4th member of Run TMC! You cannot even lay a hand on Sarunas Marciulionis' tie-dyed Lithuania warm up shirt!

Bronze, Adam C:
Say a little prayer for you! Forever, and ever ...

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97 Comments

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  1. the REAL Headless Chicken
    1. Posted by the REAL Headless Chicken Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:12 pm EDT

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    Ode to Que Rico:
    "AAAAAAALLLL IN CAAAAAAPS!!!!!"
    but what they really sang along is this:
    (roaring) Ooo-ooh-ee-ah-oooooooooohh
  2. Adam C
    2. Posted by Adam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    When asked if they were going to return for the 2012 Olympics in London, Team USA let out a hardy AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Warren Zevon would be proud.
  3. Geoffrey
    3. Posted by Geoffrey Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    In a moment reminiscent of past anthem accidents from Roseanne and Carl Lewis, members of the U.S. Basketball Team break into a chorus of "Who Let The Dogs Out?" during the middle verse.
  4. Adam C
    4. Posted by Adam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Team USA really gets into their pre-game warmup song, Bohemion Rhapsody.
  5. Adam C
    5. Posted by Adam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Having accomplished winning the gold, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh and Chris Paul decided to leave the glamorous life of the NBA to pursue a gospel quartet recording contract.
  6. Phoenix H
    6. Posted by Phoenix H Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:10 pm EDT

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    After winning the Gold, Team USA decided to participate and break the records of Competitive Yawning.
  7. Adam C
    7. Posted by Adam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Vulgar: When Team USA met the Spanish synchronized swimming team, the ladies decided to show them that they can synchronize "other things" as well.
  8. Adam C
    8. Posted by Adam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Open your mouth and close your eyes and you're in for a big surprise.
  9. The Wiz
    9. Posted by The Wiz Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:38 pm EDT

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    Bosh and Howard were incredibly tired after winning the gold medal, they couldnt help but let some yawns out during the ceremony. Kobe was yelling for them to speed it up so his sleepy giants wouldnt pass out. (I started to yawn when I saw this picture)
  10. Zach H. from Talk H.
    10. Posted by Zach H. from Talk H. Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:00 pm EDT

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    Sources have confirmed that the U.S. Basketball team has contracted SARS
  11. The Layt Show
    11. Posted by The Layt Show Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:54 pm EDT

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    "Redeem Team, ASSEMBLE!!"
  12. Amit
    12. Posted by Amit Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:53 pm EDT

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    Team USA playing a friendly game of "Penis"
  13. Adam C
    13. Posted by Adam C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    After beating Spain, Team USA decided to get even for them for their imfamous "team photo" by simultaneously mocking them, singing, OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLEEEEEE!
  14. Tom J
    14. Posted by Tom J Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:06 pm EDT

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    the were yelling arrrruuuu! havent you seen the movie 300. They were the invicible. I am sure that dominique dawes didnt pick them to medal either...jeeez.
  15. Geoffrey
    15. Posted by Geoffrey Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    The U.S. Basketball Team opens up wide as they are spoon-fed the gold.
  16. Trey
    16. Posted by Trey Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:59 pm EDT

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    "Wonder Quadruplet power: ACTIVATE!"
  17. Jaceman
    17. Posted by Jaceman Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    Introducing the new Olympic sport: see who can toss the most marshmallows into the mouths of Team USA.
  18. Trey
    18. Posted by Trey Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:59 pm EDT

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    Known as a staple activity for any of Coach K's teams, USA Basketball members engage in a team building belching contest.
  19. Tiven W
    19. Posted by Tiven W Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:12 pm EDT

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    Team USA howling at the full moon, right before turning into Team Wolf.
  20. nathan h
    20. Posted by nathan h Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:37 pm EDT

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    Always the practical joker, Lebron gives Bosh and Howard atomic wedgies during the medal ceremony.
  21. Tiven W
    21. Posted by Tiven W Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:12 pm EDT

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    Team USA, anxiously waiting for the Sea World employees to throw them a fish.
  22. Dada Ken
    22. Posted by Dada Ken Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:49 pm EDT

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    2-girls-1-cup video was shown at halftime.
  23. Dada Ken
    23. Posted by Dada Ken Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:49 pm EDT

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    The 2-girls-1-cup video was mistakenly shown at the ceremony instead of the profiles of the Team USA players.
  24. shadowdog87
    24. Posted by shadowdog87 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:15 pm EDT

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    The gold medal ceremony was ruined, unfortunately, as the stadium's innovative windows let the light of the full moon in side. Seen here, Bosh, Howard and Bryant howl at the moon shortly before transforming into werewolves and consuming every last spectator in attendance. Chris Paul, on the left, inexplicably transformed into a koala instead, and was subsequently swallowed whole by Dwight Howard (although witnesses noted that Howard had not yet seen the light of the full moon at the time, and was perfectly human).
  25. Shep D
    25. Posted by Shep D Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:24 pm EDT

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    After winning the gold Coach K showed an inspirational video on the life of an underprivileged baby bird.
    Confused team USA waited on "Mamma Bird K" to feed them lunch.

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

Contributors:
Kelly Dwyer, Rod Benson, Trey Kerby, Nick Friedell, Garbage Time All-Stars, Blair Johnson,

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