Ball Don't Lie - NBA

"IT WAS GREAT HAVING LUNCH WITH YOU, MATTHEW!! LOVED THE RESTAURANT!! I'LL HAVE MY PEOPLE CALL YOUR PEOPLE!!! WE'LL TALK!!! BYE!!!" Best caption wins Garnett's business card. As always, gooluck, ladies and gentlemen.


After the jump, Baron, Marcus and a little champagne.


Winner, domino's Auld Lang Syne:

"3 ... 2 ... 1 ..."

Should old teammates be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should dreams of playoffs be for not,
And winning days we've left behind!

For seasons long ago, we cheer
For seasons long ago,
We will take our paychecks to the bank
And never let pain show.

We used run about the courts
And win many games in row,
But we have landed with the Clips
Those days were long ago.

And there is hope, our trusty fans,
Please give us a hope don't laugh,
Let's chug this new years toast tonight
And hope for a good draft!

So go and pay to see our games,
You know we dont play free!
Don't dwell on just 8 wins we have
We could be OKC!

Runner-up, nathan h:
10, 9, 8, 7 ... Baron and Camby count down the number of games before the Clippers are officially out of the playoffs. Again.

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60 Comments

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  1. Harrison Keith
    1. Posted by Harrison Keith Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    You WILL wear this uniform! No matter how much you don't like it! When I was your age I had to wear a Timberwolves jersey for YEARS! And I liked it! I LOVED it! NOW KEEP IT ON!
  2. DeDe
    2. Posted by DeDe Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:40 pm EDT

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    Does my breath smell like a fart to you? SMELL IT, I SAY!!
  3. Michael Scott
    3. Posted by Michael Scott Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:18 pm EDT

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    Kg: why won't my dvr work? tell me why my dvr won't work!!!!! that guy in the commercial did nothing!!!! nothing!!!!
  4. The Wiz
    4. Posted by The Wiz Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:38 pm EDT

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    Kevin Garnett loses his composure after an embarrassing loss to the Bobcats and starts attacking players from Bobcats. This picture was taken before police could restrain Garnett, but apparently KG doesn't take losing very well...
  5. Harrison Keith
    5. Posted by Harrison Keith Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:19 pm EDT

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    Pictured: Alternate opening to "Revenge of the Nerds"
  6. Greg W
    6. Posted by Greg W Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:13 pm EDT

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    What?! My mother was a saint!!
  7. scooter281
    7. Posted by scooter281 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:08 pm EDT

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    KG: Oh no you did NOT get MY NOSE!! GIMME BACK MY NOSE!!!!!!
    No foul was called on the play, as it was only Matt Carroll.
  8. devin c
    8. Posted by devin c Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:44 pm EDT

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    Matt Carrol does his best Glen Davis impression
  9. MG
    9. Posted by MG Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:11 pm EDT

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    The power of Red compels you! The power of Red compels you!
  10. James Y
    10. Posted by James Y Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    KG: Hmmmm....Mathew Carrol is a white, non-elite player who's much smaller then me. I think I'll bully him, yeah, that seems like the right thing to do.
  11. nathan h
    11. Posted by nathan h Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:37 pm EDT

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    Matt Carroll screams in pain as he gives birth to a Kevin Garnett.
  12. nathan h
    12. Posted by nathan h Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:37 pm EDT

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    After Matt Carroll steals KG's championship ring, Garnett releases his inner Gollum and bites Carroll's finger off.
  13. NBA Fan
    13. Posted by NBA Fan Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:13 pm EDT

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    The FBI refused to comment on the latest upheaval in school bullying across the nation. Pictured above we see a young boy losing more than his lunch money.
  14. Mike L.
    14. Posted by Mike L. Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    A scene from Kevin Garnett's famed Intensity Camp:
    "You call that a scream, Matt Carroll?! You call that intense?! Open your eyes, Matt Carroll?! Open your god-damned eyes! You look like a pouty little [censored], Matt Carroll! Open your [censored] eyes! They won't let you leave you the Bobcats until you open your [censored] eyes!"
  15. Dwayne
    15. Posted by Dwayne Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:42 pm EDT

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    Guy Not KG: If only I could Reach My Utility Belt.
  16. chris o
    16. Posted by chris o Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:24 pm EDT

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    them's baby wrists boy!
  17. Mauricio T
    17. Posted by Mauricio T Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    Garnett: "Give me your outside shooting capablilities!! ARGGHH!!"
  18. Mauricio T
    18. Posted by Mauricio T Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    Garnett: "Give me your outside shooting capabilities!! ARGGHH!!"
  19. baller13zg
    19. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Carroll: THIS HURTS!!! STOP IT!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???
    KG: BECAUSE I AM A BIG STRONG FREAK OF NATURE, THATS WHY!! I WILL HAVE THE BALL, GOT IT?
    Carroll: *crying* Uncle! i mean, no you will not get the ball...
    *KG clenches fists* Carroll: UNCLE!! UNCLE!!! GO GET THE BALL AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
    KG: NO!!!! I'M BUSY BEATING YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (Gerald Wallace scoops up the ball and makes the go-ahead basket, but KG ultimately wins anyway, because he's third cousins with Matt Bonner.)
  20. Roger Mason Jr. = Hero
    20. Posted by Roger Mason Jr. = Hero Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:09 pm EDT

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    Skeets - we got a live chat today? I'm bored at work.
  21. DICK SMOTHERS
    21. Posted by DICK SMOTHERS Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Kg just loves white meat.
  22. Neps
    22. Posted by Neps Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:44 pm EDT

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    Say my name b^&*, say my name: KGGG, KGGG
  23. chacharles
    23. Posted by chacharles Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    KG: OMG! What kind of moisturizer are you using? Your skin is soooo soft!!!
  24. Sky P
    24. Posted by Sky P Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:26 pm EDT

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    KG finds Bill Russel's phone # in Matt Carrol's shorts; violence ensues
  25. Mauricio T
    25. Posted by Mauricio T Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    After officials called him for holding against Matt Carroll. Garnett was displeased with the call and repeatedly claimed that his so-called "crab hustle", was legal.

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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