Wed Sep 24 12:10pm EDT
(Steve Sanders, baby.) City of Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer (little guy, left) presents Dwight Howard with a key to the Fortress of Solitude for his Olympic gold medal performance, as the Magic unveil their new/retro pinstripe threads. Best caption/imaginary conversation wins a key to my bike lock. Best of luck.
After the jump, Joe Alexander plots world domination.
After failed attempts with Yao Mng and Yi Jianlian, new photographic evidence indicates that "Joe Alexander" is, in fact, a mole sent by the Chinese government to track and bring down Jack Bauer once and for all.
Based on the length of his pants, Joe Alexander's diabolical plot involves flooding the planet.