Ball Don't Lie - NBA

"Imagine trying to explain Shaquille O'Neal's Twitter behavior to a person living in the 19th century," Jon Bois of Mouthpiece Sports ponders. "'There is a man named Shaquille. He stands over seven feet tall. He walks about town. Invisibly and silently, he communicates with those around him. He beckons people to flock to him, and they do. He commands them to approach him and touch him, and they are rewarded.' This person would think you were describing the Antichrist, or perhaps Jesus on stilts."

Very funny, and so true. Best imaginary "Shaq tweet" wins my follow. Good luck.

After the jump, Harpring is hurt.

Winner, Kaifa:
Sloan: "No, Matt, it's like Shaq does, only if you make a shot with your off-hand you can stare at it in disbelief."
Harpring: /sobs
Sloan: "Kirilenko said what? You have two off— ... No, Matt, this is definitely your on-hand ... I think."

Runner-up, Roger Mason Jr. = Hero:
Unfortunately, Matt Harpring was unaware that Jerry Sloan's "pick and roll" offense also applied to his attitudes toward olfactory impediments.

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