Ball Don't Lie - NBA

You're going to have to speak up, haters. Chris Bosh(notes) can't hear you right now. I guess he's got too much averaging-24-points-and-seven-rebounds-per-game-while-shooting-62.5-percent-from-the-field-in-the-Eastern-Conference-finals in his ears.

Kinda gross, Chris. You should really invest in some Q-Tips. Maybe that'll help you hear all that stuff about you being soft and a weak link, which does seem to have grown much more muted over the past week or two. Funny how that works out, ain't it?

Best caption wins a lowdown on ear candling, which is a pretty sweet lowdown, even if it's not as good as "Sweet and Lowdown," which was really good. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Nate Robinson(notes) needs to add a Hundred Hand Slap, for sure, but his E. Honda impression appears to be coming along nicely.

Winner, Blokcparty: Oprah (off-camera): "YOU get some playing time! YOU get some playing time! Everybody gets playing time!"

Runner-up, Russell S: Nate Robinson shows his frustration after finding out that the national media have replaced his nickname "Krypto-Nate" with "Subordi-Nate."

Second runner-up, Brandon Meyer: Robinson has been using his bench time productively, going for the world record in the Invisible Clean-and-Jerk.

NOTE: It's my sincere hope that geniuses Spencer Hall and Rick Muscles of Everyday Should Be Saturday's brilliant Squatland Yard podcast approve of this caption.

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