October 11, 2011
"Oh, hey, assembly of stalwart NBA beat reporters camped outside yet another doomed session of negotiating-in-name-only. Weird that you guys are here, too.
"Me? Oh, I was just out for a jog. I had no idea this is where the league and union were meeting; I turned down this street because MapMyRun said this would get me to an even five miles. I certainly wasn't using my intelligence gathering and processing training to slip inside the meeting undetected, infiltrate the negotiations and find out how far the two sides are apart so me and R.C. can update the timetable for Tim and Manu's offseason incubation in the Lazarus Pit.
"Hmm? What's that? Yes, we have a Lazarus Pit. We also have remote memory removal nanobots, which I've just introduced into your bloodstreams via a silent aerosol delivery mechanism as we discussed jogging. You won't remember the last 39 seconds after R.C. hits the button, which should be coming in three ... two ... one ..."
Man, it's pretty random that we ran into Gregg Popovich, huh? Wonder what the San Antonio Spurs head coach was even doing in New York. Oh, well. He sure is one heck of a coach!
NOTE: This image spawned probably the nerdiest collection of responses in C-a-C history, and I couldn't be happier about that. Tute on, dorks. Tute on!
Winner, Baileyc: "Can't lock out a solid zerg rush."
Runner-up, Eric: 10 Print "This lockout is never-ending!!"
20 GOTO 10
NOTE: WHAT YOU KNOW 'BOUT PROGRAMMING JOKES
Second runner-up, Warrior: Even the virtual porn in Utah is boring.