Tue Aug 31 12:30pm EDT
If you haven't heard, Carmelo Anthony(notes) is in a bit of hot water because of Twitter. Yes, that sounds unfathomably dumb, but when you get the whole story it's even dumber than you can imagine. To start, read up on the controversy, which has been dutifully and beautifully documented by ProBasketballTalk's Matt Moore.
Basically, what has happened is "celebrity" groupie Kat Stacks — who became Internet famous for sleeping with minor rappers that hardly anyone knows about then being paid to talk about it — Tweeted about Carmelo Anthony, which upset Carmelo and his wife. Upset and near a computer is never a good thing now that Twitter exists, which helps to explain why 'Melo offered $5,000 to anyone who would send him video footage of Kat Stacks being slapped. His Twitter page was deleted almost immediately, and 'Melo has since claimed that his page was hacked despite his new wife, LaLa Vasquez, bragging about the "twitter roll" that Anthony was on.
Maybe Carmelo Anthony's page was hacked (not likely), but we'll don't know that yet. If it was hacked, this is just dumb that it happened. If Carmelo really posted the bounty, then this moves from "dumb" to "colossally stupid to an almost unfathomable degree for so, so many reasons." Posting a reward to hit a woman is just about the dumbest thing anyone can do on a computer, especially if they're famous.
But even then — because this is Twitter and people get hacked all the time and most people will buy that 'Melo wasn't in control of his account — this would probably blow over quite quickly if the slapping reward were for anyone but Kat Stacks. Remember, she made her name by exposing semi-famous rappers. Obviously, she's going to capitalize on ensnaring a legitimate superstar basketball player.
Ergo, this happened:
Just what the Nuggets and their new GM wanted — police reports filed against their star player who wants to be traded because he may have offered to pay money to someone who slaps an Internet groupie. I told you this whole thing was dumb.
'Melo, of course, is the hands-down winner of the award for dumbest participant for either offering $5,000 to have someone hit a woman on videotape, letting his wife do the same, or for picking an easily hacked password for his Twitter account. All immensely ignorant moves by the Nuggets star. LaLa gets the runner-up trophy for whatever involvement she's had, whether it be sending the Tweets (as many suspect) or just cheering on Carmelo. Heck, even LeBron James(notes) gets a participation ribbon for calling out Kat Stacks on Twitter before deleting his very clever "Rat Stacks" Tweet.
Amazingly, in this entire situation which is mind-numbingly stupid, Kat Stacks comes out the winner. If you know anything about her at all — and, if you're a rap fan, you already know waaaay too much — that's shocking. But hey, if she's being threatened she has every right to file a police report, even if the threats were over Twitter. And if it turns out 'Melo was responsible, he deserves punishment because then he will have offered money over Twitter to anyone who will slap a woman. Yes, I'm repeating myself, but it's important to stress that this a real thing that actually happened.
Our only hope is that this ends soon. We already know it's not ending well, so let's just hope it's over quickly.