October 20, 2010
This is a video clip of Philadelphia 76ers star Andre Iguodala(notes) slapping Sixers rookie Evan Turner(notes) in the face with a palm full of what appears to be baby powder. That much is indisputable. What we don't know is ... why?
Luckily, I am a master of the investigative arts, and I have delved deep into my well-developed network of league sources (read: looked at Twitter) to determine the origins of this brazen assault. Detective Devine, reporting for duty. Stay with me, fellow gumshoes:
- At 10:44 a.m. Eastern time on Tuesday, Oct. 19, 2010, Iguodala wrote the following on his Twitter page: "I'm bout to start #powdersmacking folks with bad info. Starting with @thekidet 4 wrong bus time."
- Just under two hours later, at 12:33 p.m., Iguodala tweeted: "The #powdersmack just went down! Stay tuned for video...."
- While I can't quite make out exactly what's being said in the video clip, the conversation definitely centers on a miscommunication of some sort; having read Iguodala's first tweet, we can infer that the issue is "wrong bus time"-related.
- Powder in hand, Iguodala initiates with an inquiry (that's several i-words) and Turner goes on the defensive (that's words that all start with different letters).
- After a brief back-and-forth, a seemingly errant — but also perfectly timed — loose ball strikes Iguodala in the leg, then caroms to Turner. As Turner returns the rock, Iguodala seizes the opportunity, launching forward with a full palm and powdering up the rook's mug somethin' fierce.
And there you have it. Based on the information we can glean from Iguodala's tweets, the clip itself and my near-limitless powers of deduction, we can conclude that Turner messed up the time that the Sixers' bus was going to leave for the arena, that Iguodala nearly missed it, that he sought revenge on the rookie, and that he enlisted the aid of one (and, given the unerring timing of that loose ball, perhaps two or even three) teammates in getting even.
Or, it was about a different thing.