Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Zach Feinstein is a 5'8", 130 pound, D-III junior out of Washington University in St. Louis who hasn't played organized basketball since the mid-90's, but that hasn't stopped him from officially declaring for the 2008 NBA Draft.

Yesterday, the potential draftee took time out of his busy Systems Engineering and Applied Mathematics exam studying schedule to answer a few questions about the upcoming Draft, his game and more.

Ball Don't Lie: When David Stern reads your name on June 26th, we can only imagine you'll be the happiest 5'8", 130 pounder on earth. If you happen to be a first round pick, you'll become an instant millionaire. What do plan on doing with the money?

Zach Feinstein:
I would pay Charles Barkley to scream "FEINSTEIN!" for an entire episode of "Inside the NBA" like he does "GINOBILI!"

BDL: You claim to have not played organized basketball since Bill Clinton was President. Is this a case of you just saving yourself for the grueling NBA season, or is there an injury we're not aware of?

Feinstein: The NBA season is grueling? I thought sitting on a bench for 82 games a year would be rather easy.

BDL: Which NBA player do you feel your skills most closely resemble? Describe your game for those who haven't had a chance to see you play.

Feinstein: Well, I have already said Herm Klotz, but if we are looking for a more recent player I have a combination of the ball control skills of Shawn Bradley and the frame of Muggsy Bogues. My game involves a lot of uncoordinated button smashing on a PS2 controller.

BDL: What aspect of your game needs the most work?

Feinstein: The basketball part.

BDL:
Unlike some recent young'n's (Oden, Durant), you waited to enter the draft last year, even though most (see: your friends and family) projected you as a lottery pick. What made you decide to wait?

Feinstein: I've been waiting for the HGH to kick in. I'm still waiting, but my "physician" claims I should grow five inches by September. (Note: I have never taken steroids or HGH and I neither endorse nor condone the illegitimate use of Human Growth Hormone or any other pharmaceuticals in sports even if your wife happens to be in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.)

BDL: With all due respect to Dolph Schayes and Yotam Halperin, what is the significance of possibly being the greatest Jewish basketball star ever?

Feinstein: Does this mean I will be included in the pamphlet "Great Jews in Sports"?

BDL: Do you see yourself as more of a point guard or center?

Feinstein:
Depends if I am playing against elementary school kids or not.

BDL: You have played dozens of brilliant pick-up games at the local Y. Which game (or moment) do consider to be the best in your life so far?

Feinstein: You got a bad tip, all my brilliant games have come at my local middle school. But the best moment came in the 9th grade when I got a legitimate block (my only one ever) on a 6'1" British kid during lunch.

BDL: Do you have a nickname yet? Can I call you the 'Zachary Daiquiri'?

'Zachary Daiquiri': I will be accepting submissions for nicknames through the end of the day Saturday. At which point I will choose the top three, and then have a vote for my nickname. But, I can't really stop people from calling me the "Zachary Daiquiri" if they want. (Oh, and if any bar wants to make a drink by that name I will accept it as an endorsement.)

BDL: What NBA team would you most like to play for?

Feinstein: Hands down the 1994 New York Knicks.

Be sure to check out DraftFeinstein.com for detailed scouting reports, stats and pictures. And for even more information on 'The Daiquiri,' check out Hugging Harold Reynolds' excellent two-part interview

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17 Comments

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  1. The Fighting 54s
    1. Posted by The Fighting 54s Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:02 pm EDT

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    Hahaha, loved it on both ends, good fun.
    Who helped him up to the rim for the picture?
  2. baller13zg
    2. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    Hope he gets picked by the Boston Celtics with the 60th pick in the draft. The last pick doesn't do anything anyway. It would be funny to see his reaction.
  3. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    3. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    Maybe he did it just to get a job with Yahoo! Sports Blog Ball Don't Lie. I hear that's how at least one got a gig there, masquerading as a basketball player.
  4. Red Dawn
    4. Posted by Red Dawn Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:11 pm EDT

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    If Jordan drafts him it's still be a better pick than Kwame Brown.
  5. Unsilent Majority
    5. Posted by Unsilent Majority Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:16 pm EDT

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    He's still better than Tamir Goodman.
  6. idizzle
    6. Posted by idizzle Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    I would love to see the guy get drafted in the second rd........I mean why not?
    Maybe the Grizzlies or the Bucks.......they could use the PR.
  7. JMVandal (Formerly James M)
    7. Posted by JMVandal (Formerly James M) Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:53 pm EDT

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    Zah-Stein!
    Hilarious piece here, nice job Skeets.
  8. Hapster
    8. Posted by Hapster Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:16 pm EDT

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    I actually read this! Good Luck Z-man!
  9. Len B
    9. Posted by Len B Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:04 pm EDT

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    Forget playing. Sign him to coach the Knicks.
  10. Len B
    10. Posted by Len B Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:04 pm EDT

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    Forget playing. Sign him to coach the Knicks.
  11. southbaybusiness
    11. Posted by southbaybusiness Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:04 pm EDT

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    No props to Jordan Farmar? Anyway, Jordan will draft him
  12. sryan_21
    12. Posted by sryan_21 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:38 pm EDT

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    Hey BDL& Feinstein,
    Why would you rip on the YMCA? The YMCA has been changing lives in this country for the better for over 150 years and one of it's greatest gifts was the game of Basketball. Some of basketballs greats learned to play at the YMCA. Wilt Chamberlain, Culry Neal, and Christian Laettner (well not a great NBA player). We should all show the YMCA the proper respect it deserves.
  13. Thumper E
    13. Posted by Thumper E Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:08 pm EDT

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    lol, hilarious piece skeets! keep it up! :P the Heat should draft him first overall.
  14. Juste Jack
    14. Posted by Juste Jack Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:38 pm EDT

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    Aren't Jordan Farmar and Nancy Lieberman Jewish?
  15. Jordo
    15. Posted by Jordo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:50 pm EDT

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    I wanna declare for the draft now!
  16. SAFA
    16. Posted by SAFA Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:59 pm EDT

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    wow... i really hope some team drafted him...
  17. jjdunford
    17. Posted by jjdunford Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    the knicks need to draft this guy. all those new york jews would start coming to the games and u know he will do a whole lot better than starbury did this season

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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