Ball Don't Lie - NBA


A Phoenix Suns Power Forward tended his Mac Book Pro in a dark corner office not far from the kitchen. Soon he found life on The Internet very dull. All he could do to amuse himself was to read Ball Don't Lie or launch kittens into a dangerous field of explosives and spikes.

One day as he sat reading about Kobe Bryant's life-size bobblehead, and thinking where he might be traded to, the Phoenix Suns Power Forward thought of a wicked plan to amuse himself.

His Twitter followers and fans had told him to tweet any breaking news should he be traded, and the mainstream media and bloggers would help spread the news quickly. So now, though he had not been traded, he tweeted with multiple exclamation marks, "Breaking News! Amar'e Stoudemire to the Lakers!!"

As he expected, the Followers and Bloggers who read the tweet dropped their work and ran in great excitement to their laptops and Blackberries. But when they got there, and checked to verify the trade report, they found the Power Forward doubled up with laughter at the trick he had played on them.

A few days later the Phoenix Suns Power Forward again tweeted, "Breaking News! Amar'e Stoudemire to the Lakers!! He might take less money to win a championship." Again the Followers and Bloggers ran to see what was up, only to be laughed at again.

Then one evening as the sun was setting on Phoenix and the shadows were creeping out over the city, a Minnesota TimberWolf picked up a phone and really did trade for the Power Forward.

In terror the Power Forward ran to his Mac Book Pro and tweeted, "Wolf! Wolf! Steve Kerr just traded me to the Timberwolves! Help!!!" But though the Followers and Bloggers read the tweet cry, they did not care as they had before. "He cannot fool us again," they tweeted.

Then Wolves' GM David Kahn killed Stoudemire's dog and slipped away into the forest. The end.

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60 Comments

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  1. androidgeoff
    1. Posted by androidgeoff Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:34 pm EDT

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    :(
  2. QuAzY
    2. Posted by QuAzY Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:52 pm EDT

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    $250k for 2010 for 1 Year with the Lakeshow ... deal?
  3. Abstract Method
    3. Posted by Abstract Method Tue Jun 30, 2009 5:52 pm EDT

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    LOL that was awesome. Might I add that after his charades, I stopped following him :) .. I think he was hoping for the opposite effect because I know others that also removed him from their list.
  4. kasen
    4. Posted by kasen Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:01 pm EDT

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    i like that story
  5. Anton
    5. Posted by Anton Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:09 pm EDT

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    Isn't this guy who claims he wants to be the franchise player of a team, but does not have enough talent to lead a team and thus can never be an actual franchise player but rather a consistent one.
  6. vmooreauto
    6. Posted by vmooreauto Tue Jun 30, 2009 6:37 pm EDT

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    that would be a killer
  7. Phoenix H
    7. Posted by Phoenix H Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:12 pm EDT

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    We need more of these.
  8. Gx G
    8. Posted by Gx G Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:13 pm EDT

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    Amare should go to barangay ginebra....
    GIN KINGS 2009 champs
    ^^
  9. Trifecta37
    9. Posted by Trifecta37 Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:16 pm EDT

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    You forgot to add the part where Little Red Riding Nash comes in and says, "My, what great teammates you have!"
  10. bigbaqs1
    10. Posted by bigbaqs1 Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    stoudemire is overrated!a defensive liability and a whiner!he should get traded for cash.he is n0t worth anythng but glen "fatty-cry baby-refrigirat0r "davis!
  11. kobesneyeg
    11. Posted by kobesneyeg Tue Jun 30, 2009 7:39 pm EDT

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    I think he did this to make a point. Twitter is twitter , not an official news source. Kevin Love got reprimanded for breaking that Kevin Mchale was out as coach. Maybe if more players put out bogus content then it won't be taken so seriously from now on.
  12. BShaw20
    12. Posted by BShaw20 Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:47 pm EDT

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    The Lakers don't need this mofo why does he think they want him lol
  13. muletule
    13. Posted by muletule Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:55 pm EDT

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    morons who waste time on things like twitter deserve what they get.
  14. Jordo
    14. Posted by Jordo Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:05 pm EDT

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    twitter god its like you go to 8 different sites to say what your doing lol
  15. Bryan S
    15. Posted by Bryan S Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:06 pm EDT

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    i like cookies
  16. Leinahtan
    16. Posted by Leinahtan Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:32 am EDT

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    Gx G: No one cares about the PBA here! NBA garbage is what your imports are!
  17. keisean4
    17. Posted by keisean4 Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:35 am EDT

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    ricky rubio is a baby
  18. keisean4
    18. Posted by keisean4 Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:40 am EDT

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    lakers are going to win championship and forget the cavs,celtics,and the magic but not lebron he the king but kobe is the god
  19. smakledorf
    19. Posted by smakledorf Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:53 am EDT

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    Kathleen (#17) and Bush HATE black people!
  20. hans k
    20. Posted by hans k Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:43 am EDT

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    Some players ae not that marure..
  21. accountable40
    21. Posted by accountable40 Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:54 am EDT

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    really
  22. John
    22. Posted by John Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:56 am EDT

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    I don't think he's joking anymore, the first one seemed to be a result of sheer boredom as skeets stated. This one just screams GET ME THE HELL OUT OF PHEONIX!... and into a championship contender team. It's a shame that this could never happen, though if by some miracle it did and didn't cost the lakers any key players i would streak in the middle of the day screaming IT'S ALL OVER WERE ALL GONNA DIE HAPPY!. :D
  23. Ayanna T
    23. Posted by Ayanna T Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:42 am EDT

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    That was a creative and awesome story. I had not laughed like this over a sportswriter story in a long while. Keep up the good work and you made an excellent point.
  24. malakasmenos
    24. Posted by malakasmenos Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:08 am EDT

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    twitter is gay, only in america can we have a webiste where someone announces they are taking a crap, and other people actually give a crap about someone taking a crap. its amazing.
  25. Airlock
    25. Posted by Airlock Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:15 am EDT

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    has anybody twittered about twittering? That would be funny if someone spent all day sending out messages saying they were twittering.. something like.. "yo dawgs G-spizzla here sending out the tweets to ma peeps!! Holla!!!"
    the jokes on you though numbskull because you just wasted your whole day telling people you are wasting your whole day!! HAHAHAHAHAHA why not go outside and fly a kite with your Grandma or something? No dont put her in the Kite, just let her watch.. Or you can get a bunch of helium filled balloons and sit your dumb azz in a lawnchair and go flying.....
    damm looks like I'm waaaaay over 140, why twitter letting me tweet like that? I must have the twitter premium account that lets me tweet as much as I want, I feel like the King baby!!! you hear me??? the King!!!

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Ball Don't Lie is an NBA blog edited by J.E. Skeets. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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