Ball Don't Lie - NBA


In case you were wondering, no, I didn't forget about this one too. I just wanted to build some genuine hype for the final game. So it's time to crown the winner of Ball Don't Lie's hypothetical Two-on-Two All-Star Tournament. (No idea what I'm talking about? Click here.) Vote early, vote often ...

Final Match-up: LeBron James and Zydrunas Ilgauskas vs. Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge.

How the Cavaliers got here: Defeated the Celtics' Pierce and Garnett (with 51% of the vote), the Magic's Lewis and Howard (52%), the Wizards' Butler and Jamison (77%) and the Bulls' Rose and Deng (77%).

How the Blazers got here: Defeated the Spurs' Parker and Duncan (with 69% of the vote), the Lakers' Kobe and Gasol (with 54% of the vote), the Thunder's Durant and Green (66%) and the Hornets' Paul and West (54%). I said it before, and I'll say it again, what an impressive tournament run.

Our hypothetical rules: Half-court, offense calls the fouls, "winners out" to eleven (by ones and twos, natch), and you've got to win by two. Also, no jeans allowed.

And if you're in a creative mood, leave us a short description of how you see this game unfolding. Who jumps out to the early lead? Who nails the game winner? Break it down, Marvelous.

Voting will remain open until late Thursday night, ET.

POLLS CLOSED / WINNER: Roy and Aldridge with 54% of 11310 votes!

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133 Comments

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  1. Josh S
    1. Posted by Josh S Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:51 pm EDT

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    Time for Kobe fans to work their magic, LETS GO B-ROY!
  2. Morris Blue
    2. Posted by Morris Blue Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:24 pm EDT

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    blaze easy. aldridge too fast for big z
  3. Mike L.
    3. Posted by Mike L. Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    I'm just going with this... Cavs duo includes the best player in the world, Zy--um, wait... Zyd--no, no, that's not right... Lebron James. That's it. There's your winner, far as I'm concerned.
    Can Z guard Aldridge on perimeter?. I dunno, maybe not. But I'm not sure Aldridge can really guard Z on a post-up, either. Something about 7'3'', all around "bigness". And I know B-Roy can't guard Lebron, and that Lebron can absolutely guard B-Roy. Nothing against Roy, he's a fabulous player, but defense is not exactly his forte.
  4. David Noel Fan Club
    4. Posted by David Noel Fan Club Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:26 pm EDT

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    @ Morris Blue-- I said this about the first round matchup for the Cavs vs. Wizards. And yet here we are, no team could exploit the Ilgauskas matchup apparently. Why stop now, go Cavs.
  5. baller13zg
    5. Posted by baller13zg Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:58 pm EDT

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    It's the championship, deserving of a detailed breakdown of how this unfolds.
    Jump ball goes to LeBron, who jumps despite being the "guard" of the Cavs. He wins it easily, but Roy steals the ball from Ilgauskas before he can pass it off. Aldridge takes Big Z down in the post, and his quickness starts the Blazers off 1-0. Incensed, LeBron James' mother attempts to get on the court, but she's stifled. LeBron reacts by taking the ball from Roy and dunking over Aldridge. With the ball, there's no stopping LeBron. Another dunk makes it 2-1. Then he mercilessly begins jacking up three's, calling fouls whenever he misses. A 25-footer from the corner goes, 4-1. He buries another from the top of the arc, 6-1, then misses but is "fouled" by the act of Roy tying his shoe in LeBron's line of sight. He drills two more threes from the left wing, one of them 6 feet behind the line. Up 10-1, he attempts to replicate Devin Harris' 75 foot bomb. He misses badly, but calls another foul on the grounds that if he had tried a normal shot, Roy would have been right in his way. At this point, karma strikes LeBron, and his ego enlarges to the point that his retina ruptures and he is immediately rushed to a hospital. Down a man, Big Z has no chance. Roy picks up the ball and shoots a three. 10-3. 4 successive mid-range jumpers make it 10-7. Roy decides to pass the ball, and he connects with Aldridge for a massive dunk. 10-8. Roy shoots another 3 and makes it, 10-10. He misses his next shot, and Big Z gets a rebound and a chance to tie. Desperate, he runs quickly behind the 3-point line and tries a shot. It's an airball, and since it never hit the rim, Roy catches it and dunks it. 11-10. Roy finishes the game by burying a shot from the elbow, 12-10. Comeback kings, these Blazers. The extensive Ball Don't Lie-reading fan base goes crazy.
  6. chacharles
    6. Posted by chacharles Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    roy and aldridge will abuse the pick & roll in this match up. blazers win.
  7. idizzle
    7. Posted by idizzle Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    Blazers in a landslide. LBJ is too busy looking pretty for the cameras to bother with defense. Aldridge has a field day with Big Z. Blazers win 11 - 8.
  8. anthonyarkitekt
    8. Posted by anthonyarkitekt Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    hey kobe fan are you a child. get a life.
  9. David P
    9. Posted by David P Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:38 pm EDT

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    Blazermaniacs and K*bephiliacs: a marriage made in hell.
    But the enemy of my enemy is my friend. GO BLAZERS!!!!!
  10. Brannon
    10. Posted by Brannon Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:12 pm EDT

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    It's posts like these that make me dislike Kobe even more.
  11. Alex S
    11. Posted by Alex S Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:33 pm EDT

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    Whos stuffing the Blazers ballot? Is this a joke?
  12. TheTruth
    12. Posted by TheTruth Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:27 pm EDT

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    This is a sham final. If this really went down, it would be Pierce/Garnett vs. Kobe/Gasol.
  13. greg_oden_is_my_grandpa
    13. Posted by greg_oden_is_my_grandpa Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:13 pm EDT

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    There should be laws about who can use computers...
  14. GF-52
    14. Posted by GF-52 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:21 pm EDT

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    Roy, the triple threat, shooting 40% from 3, able to finish with either hand, and some nasty/sneaky athleticism vs LeBron, the Small forward with a Power Forward's body and a Shooting Guard's speed.
    LeBron powers his way toward the hoop only to find Roy staying in front of him (a-la Roy on Joe Johnson, Hawks at Blazers 2008). LeBron falls in love with his jumper and it just isn't falling.
    Meanwhile, on the block, the length and quickness of LaMarcus Aldridge leaves Big Z bewildered and Aldridge's range keeps Big Z too far from the glass to rebound.
    Roy and LMA work the pick and roll, LBJ gets to the rim a few times, Big Z hits an 18 footer to tie the game at 11. gotta win by two...
    Roy takes the ball at the top of the key. Roy jab steps left, rocks to the right, rises up over LeBron and passes the ball to LMA on the right baseline for the silky 12ft J.
    Cavs ball. LeBron lowers his head and drives to the rim keeping Roy on his left shoulder, LeBron rises to the rim and is met by LaMarcus Aldridge coming from the weak side. LeBron displays his trust in his teammates and unselfishness by dropping the ball off to Big Z, who is standing there, open as Bill Clinton's zipper. Big Z hesitates, he thinks about his feet, how they are sore, how he just came back from an injury, "set shot" he thinks to himself, "don't jump, just shoot it." The ball goes up, the lack of lift causes it to careen off the rim and into Roy's outstretched hands.
    Roy backs the ball behind the 3 pt line. This is it, this is his time, this is what he does, this is why he lives.
    The only sound Roy can hear is the dull "thoom" of the ball ricocheting off the hardwood and to the opposite hand as he dribbles the ball between his legs, watching, waiting.
    thoom....
    thoom....
    thoom...
    th...
    In mid dribble Roy's head rises and his eyes lock onto the hoop. His hands begin to bring the ball up. LeBron sees, he knows, he's taken these shots himself, he sees his fellow carnivore and knows that glint of hunger in Roy's eye. LeBron coils, like the proverbial cobra, as Roy's shoulders begin to rise, LeBron explodes into the air, intent on aborting this shot before it ever has a chance to realize it's game winning potential.
    ...
    In this moment, as LeBron hangs suspended between heaven and earth, between victory and defeat, he knows.
    He knows that this moment is not his moment, he has sprung to soon. As he descends back toward the hardwood, a smile crosses his mind, for he is far too preoccupied for it to cross his face.
    Roy waits for what seems like an eternity as LeBron rises up, up, up, farther than a man his size should be able to.
    BOOM. The bone jarring impact of two bodies colliding. Sweat splatters as Roy rises to take the contact after the pump-fake. Off balance, Roy adjusts to avoid the still dangerous arms of his descending defender and shoots.
    The ball rises, hangs on the rim, and rolls in.
    LeBron turns, and looks at Roy. LeBron knows who he is, he knows that he is the one with the medals, the MVP consideration, the finals appearance. There is no jawing, no complain, no phantom foul, Lebron knows, it was just Roy's moment.
  15. Mike T
    15. Posted by Mike T Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:57 pm EDT

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    I wish Brandon Roy could play defense. He would be an all-star level player if he was decent at that part of the game. Look at all of these clips of terrible defense:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jLpd2q9Pwo
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD0so3gAQNI
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1Bqbi0Y9TE
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0QluiNQQBg
  16. greg_oden_is_my_grandpa
    16. Posted by greg_oden_is_my_grandpa Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:13 pm EDT

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    GF-52, I voted for the Cavs, but that post on the Blazers was freaking awsome!
  17. Jordan Bruce
    17. Posted by Jordan Bruce Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    "This is a sham final. If this really went down, it would be Pierce/Garnett vs. Kobe/Gasol. "
    So true. Those are the only match ups that have real stars at both positions.
  18. G brunell
    18. Posted by G brunell Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:12 pm EDT

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    I cannot believe this. How does LBJ/Z beat KG/PP. That's flat-out stupid. I understand LeBron is better than Pierce, but it's not like the KG-Z matchup, where KG wins with a LANDSLIDE. It's not even close. I agree with Jordan Bruce.
  19. CB
    19. Posted by CB Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    b roy is good but he is too light weight to stop lebron.. bron is jus going to bang him down low until aldridge is forced to double.. which leaves big z wide open for 15-18 footers which he hasnt missed one of those since the early 90's(im not joking dude doesnt miss those shots). sorry but with limited weakside help lebron is too much to handle.. he can jus take his time and back down roy with ease. if aldrigde decides not to help than lebron is going to get easy baskets everytime.. roy is good but he wont be able to stop lebron
  20. CB
    20. Posted by CB Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:17 pm EDT

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    its not that kg couldnt destroy big z.. its the fact that whoever guards lebron is a matchup problem everytime.. to stop... i mean contain ...lebron it takes team defense consisting of 5 on 5... this is 2 on 2.. where is the help going to come from... and if you do help you got big z knockin down 15-18 foot jumpers. he is goin to hit that 11 out of 10 times!!
    aldridge cant check z on posting up either.. like somebody said earlier.. dude is 7'3'' and is not that bad either.. he would give aldridge trouble down low
  21. Steven S
    21. Posted by Steven S Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:43 pm EDT

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    Kobe /Lakers fan, you are just a dinlgleberry hanging on to past history. You will be flushed with the rest of the garbage into oblivion, never to be heard from again. Hello, I can't hear you. Just what I thought.
  22. crimsonandclover
    22. Posted by crimsonandclover Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:39 pm EDT

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    This tournament lost its credibility when the Blazers beat the Lakers
  23. rocky58
    23. Posted by rocky58 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:33 pm EDT

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    When it comes down to it---- nobody,i mean nobody will beat the celtics-----------not even the big cry baby lebron,all he thinks about is himself!
  24. VN
    24. Posted by VN Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:40 pm EDT

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    #32 wins. Thats the kind of analysis you won't see on ESPN and TNT.

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