You know, NASCAR can put out all the data it wants on how it's the nation's fastest-growing sport, with 75 bajillion fans who all have doctorates or whatever, and then all it takes is one story like this to cement the old "nothing but crazy redneck fans" image:

FREDERICK, Md. (AP)—A 42-year-old man was charged Monday with stealing a 5-foot cardboard likeness of the late NASCAR racer Dale Earnhardt from a Wawa convenience store, where the cutout was being used to promote a candy bar.

(Please note, the image at right is NOT that of the thief. That is, however, a Dale Sr. cardboard likeness.)

A couple things to note here: first of all, a five-foot Dale? Come on! Shouldn't Dale be, like, seven feet tall, spittin' whiskey, with flames coming out of his eyes? Second, the cardboard cutout was valued at less than $100. That's a serious fan there, risking incarceration -- and permanent public humiliation -- for a cheap-ass cardboard cutout. (Unless he thought Dale was speaking to him ... anybody check that angle?)

Oh, and you'll never guess what they're going to do with the cutout now that it's returned: "It will be auctioned off for charity, with the proceeds donated to the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore." What the ... ? How much is a cardboard cutout really going to bring? As my colleague Jay Hart pointed out, "What's that going to get you, a box of cotton balls?"

How come Tiger Woods fans never do this kind of stuff?