From the Marbles - NASCAR

From the Marbles

Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:57 am EST

They make it 'cause we buy it: the Buttkicker sound system

By Jay Busbee

No sport offers up a more bewildering array of souvenir crap memorabilia than NASCAR, and They Make It digs deep into the corners of the Internet to bring all that strangeness to light. Today: a way to feel the racin' action.

The item: The Buttkicker silent subwoofer, $297.95 from Shakemycouch.com.

The deal: So you think NASCAR is boring, huh? You sit there and whine about Jimmie Johnson dominating and parade laps and the Car of Tomorrow and blah blah blah. Zip it, Chester, and pick yourself up one of these! The Buttkicker is a silent subwoofer that will make your couch shake, rattle and roll like you were running right in the middle of the field, without the threat of getting put into the wall. (Well, probably not. Sam Hornish Jr. could get really lose and end up in your living room.) All you need is the scent of burning rubber and campfire wood, and the occasional drunken fan stumbling into your view, and you'll have the total race experience right there in your living room!

While this seems like an astoundingly awesome idea, I can see a few possible drawbacks. For one, Digger's arrival next spring -- yes, he's coming back -- is going to seem like the Cloverfield monster arriving. For another, this gives us yet more reason not to go to NASCAR races. Perhaps if the Buttkicker actually kicked our butts to get us off the couch ... nah, this is America. That'll never happen.

The hat tip: Reader Brini. Got some strange NASCARiana of your own for us to check out? Send it to jay.busbee@yahoo.com. We'll make ya famous!

Related: Jimmie Johnson, Sam Hornish Jr.

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16 Comments

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  1. Jim T.
    1. Posted by Jim T. Tue Nov 10, 2009 10:23 am EST

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    Brini- Did you buy one so you could feel the race without watching Jimmie Johnson. How do you like it?
  2. brinirmess
    2. Posted by brinirmess Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:41 am EST

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    Nah Jim, there's a special edition out there for "Special Fans" like yourself. There's a "Johnson" upgrade package. Did not check on the upgrade price, will have to get back to you on that one.
  3. kinggeorge
    3. Posted by kinggeorge Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:29 pm EST

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    If your butts gunna be shaking watching a NASCAR race you might as well be setting in official NASCAR Sofa. Yes, I dug up the infamous TMICWBI "support an Indonesian/Chinese child laborer by buying one of these couches" post. It wasn't easy since Jay ditched the helpful link menu but I was persistent. Here it is if you want to check it out....
    http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/They-make-it-cause-we-buy-it-NASCAR-sofas?urn=nascar,100146
    Along the way I came across the Denny Hamlin "We Are Hamsters" Pit Chatter with the famous "how we roll" reference. I classic for sure.
    http://sports.yahoo.com/nascar/blog/from_the_marbles/post/Pit-Chatter-rewind-We-Are-Hamsters-?urn=nascar,92045
    Enjoy Marbleheads
  4. Carol
    4. Posted by Carol Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:28 pm EST

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    Wow thanks KG. Was weird tho looking at the comments and realizing that was an imposter commenting as you.
  5. kinggeorge
    5. Posted by kinggeorge Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:53 pm EST

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    That was my alter ego Carol. He's still around locked in the basement for now. When meatwad or that brat from LA makes a return appearance maybe I'll let him out.
  6. brinirmess
    6. Posted by brinirmess Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:32 pm EST

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    Update for itty, if you have proof that you are a card carrying member of the Jimmy Johnson fan club, you get the Johnson cushion for the small price of $9.99 +S&H, but if you order in the next 30 minutes, you can buy one for you, and get one free for the wifey. Hurry Jim, call 1-800-JOH-NSON
  7. Jim T.
    7. Posted by Jim T. Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:01 am EST

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    brini- I am divorced so I don't need two. After 17 years of marriage one day she admitted that she was a Tony Stewart fan. I probably could have got over a affair with my best frriend but that cut me too deep.
  8. brinirmess
    8. Posted by brinirmess Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:25 am EST

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    Oh, that ain't right Jim. You are So WRONG! But, I bet the final straw was that she was a Shrub too, right?
  9. miss priss
    9. Posted by miss priss Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:35 am EST

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    brat in attendence....... hahahahahahaha
    hahahahah JT/brini
  10. miss priss
    10. Posted by miss priss Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:36 am EST

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    attendance*
  11. jr's #1 miss/fan
    11. Posted by jr's #1 miss/fan Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:45 am EST

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    oh Georgie where are you???????
  12. jr's #1 miss/fan
    12. Posted by jr's #1 miss/fan Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:46 am EST

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    I'm not Jet but I still can be ornery.......
  13. Willy Doer
    13. Posted by Willy Doer Wed Nov 11, 2009 12:35 pm EST

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    At first glance i thought it said "Buttlicker sound system".
  14. brinirmess
    14. Posted by brinirmess Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:09 pm EST

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    Prissy..is that stupid split personality diorder kicking in again., damnit girl, I thought they'd healed yo azz of all that!
  15. brinirmess
    15. Posted by brinirmess Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:09 pm EST

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    ***disorder****
  16. jr's #1 miss/fan
    16. Posted by jr's #1 miss/fan Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:16 pm EST

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    hahahaha brini - prissy who?????

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