You're lying in a hospital bed, your body a mangled mess. Seems you tried to do the slingshot move while in traffic in your minivan and, well, it doesn't work on Elm Street the same way it works at Daytona. You're realizing you were stupid, you could've gotten somebody killed, and maybe this whole NASCAR thing is taking over your life. You begin rethinking your priorities ... maybe a little more church, a little more time with the family, some safer driving ...

And then the doc comes in wearing NASCAR scrubs, and HELL YEAH it's a sign from above! Give up NASCAR? Might as well pull the plug right now!

The lively little number there at right is one of the NASCAR scrub collection over at the Superstore, but except for that model and a strange little blue-and-red camo one -- for hiding in a wrapping-paper aisle, we guess -- they're all pretty bland and mundane. Never thought we'd say this, but NASCAR's missing a marketing angle here. Why not scrubs with individual drivers on them? Think of the way that'd liven up a hospital visit:

• A doctor wearing Tony Stewart scrubs would just punch the sick out of you.

• A doctor with Darrell Waltrip scrubs would scream "Boogity boogity boogity!" before every surgery.

• A nurse with Intimidator scrubs would be jamming other gurneys into the wall as she rolled her patient down the hall.

We're sure you can add more in the comments below. And if you've got links/photos/ebay auctions of other bizarre NASCAR products, hit us up at nascarmarbles@yahoo.com and let us know!