Nobody was spared at the Jimmie Johnson roast in Vegas

By Jay Busbee

Now that the NASCAR season is done and everyone can relax a bit, we're starting to have a little more fun from our loosened-up drivers. Normally welded-down, they're starting to enjoy themselves with the grind of weekly racing done for a couple months.

Case in point: Wednesday night's roast of Jimmie Johnson, one which -- if we can judge by this article by Terry Blount -- was more fun than a barrel full of Poconos. As the focus of the evening's ceremonies, Johnson naturally took plenty of grief from his fellow drivers. Some gems, as reported by Blount:

Denny Hamlin: "The only thing faster than Jimmie's car is his receding hairline."

Kasey Kahne: "Jimmie, you're the man who has it all: money, a gorgeous wife, four championships and a great personality. Well, you do have money, a gorgeous wife and four championships."

And, the evening's winner, from Ryan Newman: "Wow. Four championships in a row, Jimmie. I bet you wish you could do that with your wife."

Event host Kevin Burke didn't restrict his comments just to Johnson; he took shots at every driver in attendance. His bon mots:

To Kasey Kahne: "Hey, Kasey, Danica Patrick may be coming to NASCAR, so at least you'll have somebody you can beat in a fistfight."

To Jeff Gordon: "Jeff, I know you're not [gay]. But you are good-looking enough to be, and if you were, I would be too." (To which Gordon responded during his turn at the podium, "I can tell you that marrying a pretty girl and having a baby is great cover.")

To Dale Earnhardt Jr.: "He is famous for being famous. Junior is now the Paris Hilton of NASCAR."

Awesome. Any chance we can get any of that telecast next year? Or that I can get up and throw a few lines out? I've got some gems, I tells ya!

And so do you. So friends, how about a virtual roast of your favorite NASCAR drivers right here? Step right up, who's going to be first to the mike?

(Note: yes, that pic has Johnson, Kurt Busch and their wives with Emeril. Best I could do for a "roast" photo.)

Johnson roast the best show in town [ESPN]