From the Marbles - NASCAR

Carl Edwards, a superhero with an addiction to Subway sandwiches

Check it out! Our boy Carl Edwards is a superhero now! Or at least he's teaming up with a few of 'em in a new Subway comic book. That's Carl and Blake Griffin, ready to do battle alongside Batman, Superman and Green Lantern for truth, justice and a turkey-bacon avocado special from Subway!

So how on earth does Carl Edwards end up in a comic book adventure? Read on ...

Carl Edwards, a superhero with an addiction to Subway sandwiches

Okay, so apparently Blake Griffin is an incredibly poor planner, because he stops by Subway for a sandwich right before his "dunk show." But if you've got to get somewhere fast, who better to get you there than a NASCAR driver who happens to be hanging out in full firesuit? What luck!

They jump in Carl's ride and drive straight into a superhero/talking-gorilla fight! Really! But rather than run in screaming horror from an abomination against nature, they man up and decide ...

Carl Edwards, a superhero with an addiction to Subway sandwiches

Lucky that Carl's car now has doors that open! And they're ready to brawl! However, given that they've just eaten avocado, I don't think I want to know what those green bursts are coming from behind them.

Anyway, they defeat the gorillas, but Blake still has to get to his "dunk show!" How will he ever get there in time? Cue Green Lantern, who can't carry a movie but apparently can carry a Sprint Cup car:

Carl Edwards, a superhero with an addiction to Subway sandwiches

They get to the dunk show, and you'll never guess what happens:

Carl Edwards, a superhero with an addiction to Subway sandwiches

Naturally, Blake wins, though what the heck is up with that green glow around him? Dude can jump over cars, he doesn't need Green Lantern's help! Meanwhile, Carl is reduced to furniture, standing around and holding a still-uneaten Subway sandwich. And how about that parting? That's more awkward than Saturday mornings at a frat house. And Green Lantern doesn't even give a cursory "I'll call you sometime," he just flies away with a "yeah, dawg!" grin on his face. Weird.

Anyway, congrats to Carl for hanging with the superheroes. Next time maybe they'll let him be more than a chauffeur.

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