Ozzie Guillen’s muses include advising Obama

GLENDALE, Ariz. – President Barack Obama’s apology for his Special Olympics crack to Jay Leno while lampooning his bowling skills may not be enough to satisfy Gov. Sarah Palin, who ripped Obama for a “degrading remark.” But the president might be heartened to hear that a fellow Chicago South Sider, one who knows something about political incorrectness, has his back.

“I thought it was funny,” said Ozzie Guillen, the never-lost-for-something-to-say manager of the Chicago White Sox. “People take it out of context. The [expletive] people in this country think you have to worry about what you’re saying, what you’re thinking. … I love when I see Obama’s picture in the paper with a beer in his hands. It’s awesome. He’s a human being. He’s a guy who enjoys life.”

Obama calls himself a White Sox fan. “I hope the day is coming,” Guillen said, “when he says, ‘I feel proud of the way your team played.’ ”

They met briefly when the White Sox were in the 2005 World Series. Guillen would like a longer visit next time, and even in the presence of the president would likely vacillate between wisecracks and introspection. When Guillen opens his mouth, anything is liable to come out.

“He’s dying to meet me,” Guillen said of Obama. “I might teach him some political things. I grew up in a country [Venezuela] where it’s not easy to be a president. I think Obama is lucky that people love him. He’s so popular with the people in this country, I think it helps when people want you to be the president, respect you as the president.”

That’s not necessarily the case in Venezuela, where President Hugo Chavez has popular support but also many detractors, including expatriates who loudly voiced their opinions during Venezuela’s World Baseball Classic games in Puerto Rico and Miami.

“I come from a country divided by [those who] like [Chavez] or hate him,” Guillen said. “Me and Chavez? I don’t know him. A lot of people think we’re best friends. I wish we were best friends, I guarantee you that. I’d be working with him. More money, less a pain in the ass. I know we’d make more money; we’d steal that [expletive] somewhere, somehow.”

It is Saturday afternoon, and Guillen is sitting in the manager’s office at Camelback Ranch after the White Sox lost 13-2 to the Chicago Cubs, their sixth Cactus League loss in a row. He didn’t get a chance to talk to Cubs manager Lou Piniella before the game, he said, but did after the Cubs opened a 10-run lead in the sixth inning.

“I asked him for the mercy rule,” Guillen said, “but the umpires didn’t want to listen to me.”

Guillen is beginning his sixth season. Besides winning the World Series in 2005 in a four-game sweep of the Houston Astros, Guillen guided the White Sox to a division title last season, winning a one-game playoff against the Minnesota Twins before being eliminated in the playoffs by the Tampa Bay Rays. It may have been his best managing job; despite the loss of slugging outfielder Carlos Quentin, who fractured his wrist in the season’s last month, and pitcher Jose Contreras, who blew out his Achilles tendon in August, the White Sox made it to the finish line with Guillen using his starters on three days’ rest.

Last week, Jerry Reinsdorf, beginning his 29th season as White Sox chairman, told beat reporters that as long as he was here, Guillen and general manager Kenny Williams would have jobs.

“Jerry’s a loyalty guy,” Guillen said. “When you work for Jerry, you have a chance to have a job for life. Obviously my job is a little different from everybody else. When the ballclub is not playing well and you want to make a move, obviously the first one you make is the manager.

“I’m happy enough here, sometimes. I enjoy it. It’s nice to come to work and know what to expect.

Guillen mentioned that Piniella was one of his heroes. Piniella has taken the Cubs to consecutive division titles and last season won 97 games, but in both seasons the Cubs were swept in the first round of the playoffs. Piniella, hoping to end a 100-year drought since the Cubs last won a World Series, said he felt like he’d been hit by a Mack truck.

So which is harder in Chicago, being Ozzie Guillen or Lou Piniella?

“It’s harder to be me,” Guillen said, “because people don’t care how many games Lou Piniella loses, he’s always going to be Lou. Lou has put his name and reputation so high in baseball, I wish one day I will be at a stage of my career where I have the reputation and respect Lou has.

“I’m not going to say he’s my mentor, but he’s one of my favorite managers. A lot of people have tried to imitate him, tried to pick his brain. We have a similar style. I always say you’re not going to be a good manager without good players, but … how old is Lou?”

Piniella is 65, 20 years older than Ozzie

“I’m not going to manage that [expletive] long,” he said. “I love my wife. I don’t know if Lou loves his wife.”

Let’s hope Anita Piniella understands that was just Ozzie being Ozzie.

The White Sox should compete again in the AL Central. They’re showing their age (Jim Thome turns 39 in August, Jermaine Dye is 35 and Paul Konerko is 33), but Williams is well on his way to turning over the roster. Cuban defector Alexei Ramirez, a sensation as a rookie second baseman, is the new shortstop, Josh Fields is the new third baseman and Guillen announced Saturday that another rookie, Chris Getz, has won the second-base job.

John Danks and Gavin Floyd made huge strides last season behind steady Mark Buehrle in the rotation, closer Bobby Jenks is a seasoned veteran at 28, and while the White Sox are crossing their fingers that old-timers Jose Contreras and Bartolo Colon can bounce back from injuries and that Jerry Owens and DeWayne Wise are adequate in center field, their division rivals are all flawed. That means Obama should have a division race to follow this September.

The White Sox threw a barbecue for the players, staff and families after Saturday’s game. Guillen’s youngest son, Ozney, a 17-year-old high school junior who already is being mentioned as a possible high draft pick, has just arrived from the family’s home in Miami and is sitting in Guillen’s office. Someone asks Ozzie why his 6-foot-3 son has a haircut like Magglio Ordonez.

“I wish Magglio was his daddy,” Guillen said. “He wouldn’t have to work the rest of his life.”