Thu Mar 24 04:16pm EDT
If baseball history has taught us anything, it's that Los Angeles Dodgers ambassador Tommy Lasorda is not afraid to put his good I-tal-i-an name behind quasi-diet-health products.
In the 1990s, you couldn't check out an episode of "In Living Color" or "Blossom" without inevitably bumping into Tommy during the commercials as he reminded us how fat he was before the Ultra Slim-Fast diet plan helped him lose "30 pounds in three months."
Well, Tommy and Slim-Fast are still around — nobody is sure if they're still speaking — but Mr. Lasorda apparently seems ready to move along to the next thing.
Which, the folks over at the Baseball Think Factory water cooler have discovered, is something called "edible health-strips."
Edible heath-strips. Sounds like an activity not technically legal in Las Vegas.
But this press release says not to worry:
Health Essist® and Baseball Legend Tommy Lasorda Enlist the Power of Cinsay, Inc. Proprietary Video Player and e-Commerce Platform to Bring Edible Health-Strips to Market
Cutting-Edge Line of Dissolvable Strips Deliver All-Natural Supplements to Consumers for Fast and Easy Absorption; Cinsay Delivers the Technology That Brings Video and eCommerce Directly to Consumers Via Email and Social Networks; Tommy Lasorda Delivers the Message to Millions.
Health E-ssist? E-gad! The Power of Cinsay? The Big Red Machine? Not on Dodger blue soil, mister.
One BBTF commenter worried that edible health-strips are something along the lines of "Lasorda Jerky" (which I'd like to believe Tommy also would sell if prompted).
Really, these don't sound so bad; they're like those Listerine breath strips, only they're vitamins and such. A little weird, but I get it, and maybe there's a market for it. Health Essist: They're the people who also bring you "Alcohol Defender," which is not nearly as gnarly as "Marijuana Space Invaders."
Anyway, bow to your Cinsay and listen to your I-tal-i-an uncle Tommy when it comes to taking your edible health strips. He wouldn't have anything to do with this if, say, the Soylent Corporation were behind it.