Sun Jan 01 01:45am EST
Roy Halladay for the save? Only in the Amazon. (And not the online one.)
Halladay, runner-up for the Cy Young Award in the National League, showed he could tame the deadliest of rivers just as effectively as he tames opposing lineups for the Philadelphia Phillies. On a recent fishing expedition to Brazil with buddy Chris Carpenter of the St. Louis Cardinals (and former major-league closer B.J. Ryan), the Good Doctor helped to rescue a local fisherman who had been wounded by — gulp — an anaconda.
Top that, Clayton Kershaw.
Bassmaster Skeet Reese broke the news on his blog that he and Halladay saw a man sitting "bare naked" on a tree by the side of the river. But he wasn't there scouting major leaguers who just happened to float by:
What we were able to figure out is that he was fishing in the river for tropical fish to sell for aquariums when he got attacked by an anaconda.
The snake apparently bit him on the [butt] but he was able to free himself before the snake wrapped him up. Instead the snake wrapped around his motor on the back of his little 14 foot dugout canoe and tore it off the back of his boat. Doc and I helped him gather his gear and flip the boat back over and then towed him home. You could definitely see the bite mark on his [booty], but he was able to fight it off; amazing.
Man, that's better service than AAA. Now, anacondas aren't venomous, but that's only because it would be so unfair. They're among the longest snakes in the world, and they ... well — you've seen the movie — they squeeze you 'til you're able to fit in their belly.
Already like Indiana Jones in so many ways, Halladay surpasses him as an adventurer because he's apparently unafraid of snakes.
You also might be wondering: Where in the world was Carpenter while all of this was going on? Was he like Marlin Perkins chilling in tent while Jim Fowler wrestled tigers out in the bush on "Wild Kingdom"? Not quite. Now, don't get too excited by this, Cards fans, but Carpenter injured his toe on the trip, banging it on the side of the boat. He also caught some nice fish — apparently everyone did — and he shot a caiman (a cousin to the American Alligator). Shot it. Take note, Nyjer Morgan!
Say, did they get any video of this trip? Not because the tale is unbelievable, but so we can release it as an "Anaconda" sequel. As Zoo with Roy noted, the only thing that would have made Halladay's and Carpenter's trip better would be Cube saying:
"There's snakes out there this big?"
Speaking of hip-hoppers, Game the rapper is going to write about Halladay on his next album, too. The legend of Roy Halladay just grows as his career ERA reduces.
And another thing: What's with all of these major leaguers taking potentially dangerous vacations in the offseason? Halladay and Carpenter on the Amazon ... R.A. Dickey scaling Mount Kilimanjaro with Kevin Slowey ... Yankees' GM Brian Cashman rappelling again. Is the excitement of a pennant race not enough?
Which major leaguer would you like to see take a dangerously exotic trip? I know some White Sox fans who would like to see GM Ken Williams go spelunking in a deep crevasse ...
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