December 16, 2008
Unless you have the upper lip of that damned Sasquatch, it's probably too late to grow a Rollie Fingers-style handlebar 'stache by Christmas morn.
That's a shame, too, because I figure sporting a few mini-icicles from the ol' soup-strainer would make for a good holiday photo and anyone sporting the look would instantly gain a few extra skill points when it comes to turkey carving.
But despair not. If you'd like to take on such a mustache by Valentine's Day, the hairy Hall of Fame reliever has come forth with a couple of tips for growing a 'bar to surprise your sweetie on the year's most romantic day. From which wax to employ ("Pinaud's") to the lengths you should be shooting for ("...the curl is about an inch and a half"), Fingers spares no detail in showing others how they can join a movement he started 35 years ago in Oakland. He even maps out a few of the pitfalls that come with the territory.
"I was in Chicago at the airport and there was this couple in front of me and they've got a little 5-year-old girl. She keeps turning around and looking at me. And all the sudden, she turns around and kicks me right in the shins. Her parents turn around and say, 'Honey, what are you doing!' and she looks up at me and says, 'Why were you so mean to Peter Pan?' She thought I was Captain Hook. It was right around the time that movie, 'Hook' came out. I just started busting out laughing. I was just glad she didn't have pointed shoes."
For all the hyping we did of Jason Giambi's 'stache last summer, Fingers still remains the gold standard when it comes to baseball lip hair. And if anyone actually goes through the tips and grows a handlebar in '09, I'd love to post the results here on the Stew.
(I'd do it myself, but all my mustache-growing attempts end up with my upper lip looking like Dave Wannstedt's — only somehow thinner.)
A big BLS head nod to Baseball Think Factory for the redirect.