Big League Stew - MLB

It turns out that Lenny Dykstra has some friends in high places. And when we say "high," we refer to status.

We think.

Dykstra, the former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder was being held on $150,000 bail after being charged with embezzling from a bankruptcy estate. But he was released last week after someone posted 15 percent — or $22,500 — of the bond.

So who helped Dykstra out? Not one of his family members or baseball buddies or business associates. It was the Torpedo of Truth that set him free.

But maybe we should let Charlie Sheen clarify the matter himself.


Charlie tells TMZ, "The rendition guilty trolls that kidnapped my dear friend Nails clearly forgot that he's a fellow Vatican assassin and his best pal is a warlock."

Well, that explains everything, right?

No? Let's provide a little more background, just in case you couldn't process that with a normal brain.

Back in February, Dykstra attempted to enlist the help of lawyer Dan Petrocelli to lobby Warner Brothers into hiring Sheen back for "Two and a Half Men." Petrocelli turned Dykstra down, however, because he represents WB in several cases and taking on Sheen as a client would've been a conflict of interest.

According to federal prosecutors, Dykstra took $400,000 worth of items -- including sports memorabilia, chandeliers, artwork, and luxury furniture and fixtures — from his $18.5 million California mansion without the permission of a bankruptcy trustee and hocked them off for cash.

Shortly before the embezzlement charges, Dykstra had also been arrested on suspicion of grand theft auto for attempting to purchase a stolen car. He was held on $500,000 bail, but was released when prosecutors decided not to file charges.

But even though he is now free, Dykstra has yet more legal matters to deal with. A woman who met with Dykstra for a housekeeping job is alleging that he stripped naked and asked for a massage during their interview. According to the woman, Dykstra said such duties would also be part of her job description. Los Angeles police are investigating Dykstra for lewd conduct and the woman says she plans to sue.

So Sheen, who's in Texas for his Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option Tour, might need some help from his fellow Vatican assassin again soon.

Big BLS H/N: The 700 Level

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