April 14, 2008
Well, this seals it. The greatest byproduct of this whole "Carlos Zambrano drinks too much caffeine" story is that it has allowed Lou Piniella to expound on what Red Bull can do to a person.
"I've never had Red Bull in my life, but I've actually seen people at a bar order Red Bull and vodka. I can't comprehend that. If I had a couple of those things, I'd be like the malt liquor bull (from the old TV commercials) leaving the bar. My lord."
Man, did I enjoy that take. Can you imagine how much longer (and infinitely more awesome and watchable) The Bronx Is Burning would have been if Red Bull had been around in the '70s?
Who wants to bet that Piniella's crosstown counterpart knows a thing or two about energy drinks, too?
BLS BONUS: An unbelievable old Schlitz Malt Liquor commercial, which would probably cause Al Sharpton to spontaneously combust if it were released today. (For good reason, too.)