Before we go any further, let's just pause for a minute to appreciate the fact that this man was being hailed as a revolutionary financial wizard less than five years ago ...
h/n to BLS Twitter fav @ericstangel for the photo
... ah, that was fun
Considerably less fun is the position where Dykstra now finds himself. On Monday, the former player for the New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies was jailed on "25 misdemeanor and felony counts of grand theft auto, attempted grand theft auto, identity theft and other crimes" after he and two other men allegedly used phony information to lease three cars from a dealership. He now faces up to 12 years in prison if convicted.
Prosecutors contend that the three men tried to lease high-end cars from dealers this year by providing phony information and claiming credit through a phony business called Home Free Systems.
Two dealerships rejected the lease applications but a third allowed the men to drive off with three cars, according to a statement from the district attorney's office.
Police who arrested Dykstra on April 14 found cocaine, Ecstasy and the synthetic human growth hormone Somatropin at his San Fernando Valley home, the statement said.
This whole unfortunate mess led Dykstra's declaration of innocence ("Of course, I'm not guilty," he said) and the great Twizzler mugshot in copies of Tuesday's NY Daily News.
It also leads to an increased hope that perhaps we'll see a similar shot of "Nails" done in the Wall Street Journal's "hedcut" form. Any enterprising Photoshoppers out there want to take a stab at this technique for us? (If so, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org for our consideration and eternal admiration.)
Lenny, of course, has a history of making mouth happy, so it's only right that he's accurately portrayed in press photos. He has often been spotted in recent years chewing down on red licorice, presumably to curb the other, much more harmful, oral fixation he's been known for.