Fri Dec 02 02:52pm EST
It's a proven fact that 50 percent of all coming-of-age fights are started because of baseball cards.
Actually, that fact isn't proven at all. It's just my experience because one of the two fights I was involved with as a child started when a friend didn't deliver all of his promised haul when I flipped him a Gary Sheffield(notes) rookie card. It was a pretty good tussle, as I remember, and it ended with me learning a valuable lesson about life: Never trust anyone.
And I never have. /vacant look toward horizon
At any rate, while I can't look down on anyone who has a conflict over cardboard, I definitely cannot condone bringing silverware to the, uh, bargaining table. Which is exactly what a young fella did to his friend out in Pennsylvania when an original copy of Radioactive Man a Mickey Mantle baseball card was under dispute.
From the Harrisburg Patriot-News:
A 17-year-old Halifax boy is accused of jamming a fork in another teen's arm this month during a fight over a Mickey Mantle baseball card, state police said.
The boy, whose name was not released because he's a juvenile, reacted "without thinking," police said, after Devan Cohan told him to "shut up" and backhanded him in the arm Nov. 18 at a home in the 3900 block of Peters Mountain Road. Cohan had minor injuries from the fork penetrating his skin, police said. The accused forker was charged with simple assault and harassment.
Look at the bright side, though. Somewhere Billy Crystal and Bob Costas are reading about this case and shedding a tear. The great lessons that The Mick taught us all about self interest and acting on your basest impulses live on.
Big BLS H/N: Deadspin
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