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Big League Stew

Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:38 pm EDT

Create-a-Caption: 'And starting for the Rays at lumberjack ...'

By 'Duk

There's little doubt that Jonny Gomes is quickly becoming the King of the Postseason Photo Op. Despite not even being on the rosters for the ALDS or ALCS, so far we've seen him hoisting a jock cup like a beer stein after clinching the AL East and waving around a bottle of tequila after the ALDS.

Today he was carrying around an ax of some sort at Tropicana Field during the ALCS workout day. I asked our own Gordon Edes to find out why Mr. Gomes was swinging an ax, but apparently he couldn't get close enough without jeopardizing his own personal safety. Hopefully he can find out later.

While we're waiting, have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world.

How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from Wednesday's Lebowski-laced C-a-C:

'Say, friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?'

1st — Too Much Fantasy.  (Well done, sir. This one's an all-time classic.)

Ringolsby: Hey Charlie, what happened to your left arm?
Manuel: You know. When you win the division series
Ringolsby: Yeah?
Ringolsby:You go out and celebrate, and you usually drink way too much
Ringolsby: I see...
Ringolsby: And you wake up the next morning with some lady so ugly in your arms...
Ringolsby: Ah...Coyote Ugly
Ringolsby:You got it. 

2nd — Random Content Generator.

"Phillies? With a 'Ph'? Aw, shucks, I came here to see female horses under four years old. Now where's that bullpen at? Maybe I can hang on to that Brad Lidge fer eight seconds."

3rd — dai_kun.

Ringolsby: Yep.
Manuel: Yep.
Ringolsby: Tobacco crop looks pretty low this year.
Manuel: Hasn't been the same since Dykstra left.

HM — Anrkist.

"Y'er arm tasted like a good slice of beer jerky!"

Related: Create-a-caption, 2008 MLB playoffs, 2008 ALCS - Red Sox vs. Rays

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28 Comments

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  1. G.O.A.T.
    1. Posted by G.O.A.T. Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:50 pm EDT

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    "Caption: "I am the conductor of this here bandwagon"
  2. Dave D
    2. Posted by Dave D Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:28 pm EDT

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    Gomes: "I got 6-foot deep hole in back for Mr. Krispies if he starts to run his mouth again"
  3. spewing_venom619
    3. Posted by spewing_venom619 Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:12 pm EDT

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    "I dun jus brought this here along to help pick my seat."
  4. random content generator
    4. Posted by random content generator Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:14 pm EDT

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    A low-budget team in its first post-season, the Tampa Bay Rays had to improvise when the metal donut went missing from the on-deck circle.
  5. Anrkist
    5. Posted by Anrkist Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:43 pm EDT

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    "Josh Beckett better watch his ankles or I'll give him the Curt Schilling special."
  6. RandomClown
    6. Posted by RandomClown Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:34 pm EDT

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    Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho. It's home from the ALCS we go
  7. Harold
    7. Posted by Harold Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:48 pm EDT

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    its not an Axe , Although Jonny may have one to grind. Note the flat front and the pick like back, Its a "mattock" or more correctly a "pick mattock". It is very useful for removing and destroying troublesome weeds and roots. in the yard We only hope jonny can swing it a little better than a "Bat" used for hitting baseballs out of the yard. Just joking Jonny, we love ya baby.
  8. Anson O
    8. Posted by Anson O Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    Gomes: I'm a lumberjack and that's ok. I sleep all night and work all day.
    Rays: He's a lumberjack and that's ok. He sleeps all night and works all day.
    Gomes: I cut down trees. I eat my lunch. I drink beer out of men's cups!
    Rays: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch. He drinks beer out of men's cups? He's a lumberjack and that's ok. He sleeps all night and works all day.
    Gomes: I cut down trees. I don't play ball. I get credit for all your hard work.
    Rays: He cuts down trees. He doesn't play ball. He gets credit for all our hard work? He's a lumberjack and that's ok. He sleeps all night and works all day.
  9. Vaffanculo
    9. Posted by Vaffanculo Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:46 pm EDT

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    Oh don't you know, that's the sound of the men, working on the chain gaaaang!!!!
  10. jlpamc
    10. Posted by jlpamc Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    Now we all know what Gomes cuts his hair with.
  11. Vaffanculo
    11. Posted by Vaffanculo Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:46 pm EDT

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    I'm strong to the finich, 'cause I eats me spinich. I'm Gnomeseye, the Utility Man. Toot! Toot!!
  12. Little Jon
    12. Posted by Little Jon Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:54 pm EDT

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    Gomes: "So, Skip wanted us to dress up early for halloween, he was Jack Del Rio, and he told me I could be Chris Hanson...I never did understand what he meant but he said it involved an axe..."
    ( http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2859649 last paragraph for reference also not Chris Hansen (Have a seat! guy) )
  13. Older_than_Moses_Shaq
    13. Posted by Older_than_Moses_Shaq Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:56 pm EDT

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    Tell The Red Sox Nation I'll pick my nose any darn time I feel like it and there ain't nuttin' any of dem will do 'bout it. Got it?
  14. Chalk
    14. Posted by Chalk Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:42 pm EDT

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    A-ight you media types, who wants to AXE me a question?
  15. Jordan W
    15. Posted by Jordan W Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:20 pm EDT

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    Now if only I had this with me when I was takin' a chopper to Coco's stomach..
    (In reference to Shields-Crisp brawl earlier this year)
  16. NoOne
    16. Posted by NoOne Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:37 pm EDT

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    "They told me all of the bats were locked away for the game. I have to practice SOMEHOW..."
  17. zubee
    17. Posted by zubee Thu Sep 03, 2009 2:49 pm EDT

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    They let me off the chain gang so I could be a part of these playoffs.
  18. pumped_cobra
    18. Posted by pumped_cobra Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:22 pm EDT

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    I got a feeling the Sox are going to wipe that big, dumb smirk off your silly face.
  19. Rick
    19. Posted by Rick Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:13 pm EDT

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    If I were a true Tampa fan that had gone through all the losing seasons, I would be furious of all these bandwagoners now coming to the Trop to fill seats. Even after they won the AL East they could not fill the seats. Now their in the playoffs and seats are filled. I feel bad for the true fans, go home badwagoners, sox are gonna win anyway.
  20. Geoffrey
    20. Posted by Geoffrey Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:34 pm EDT

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    In news that could be somewhat related, Coco Crisp was seen at a Tampa sporting-goods store buying a steel-belted cup.
  21. Vaffanculo
    21. Posted by Vaffanculo Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:46 pm EDT

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    9 = 8? It doesn't adze up.
  22. jlpamc
    22. Posted by jlpamc Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    To ease the fears of the other team and the fans seated nearby, Bud Selig appoints a panel to study Johnny Gomes dangerous looking new bat. Mr. Selig says the report is due in April 2017.
  23. Brett K
    23. Posted by Brett K Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Just like many pick miners before him, Gomes learns that drinking out of a protective cup can lead to brain loss
  24. Brett K
    24. Posted by Brett K Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    Gomes shows off a piece of Rays history, "This here pick axe is what we used to dig the hole every year into the AL East basement."
  25. Brett K
    25. Posted by Brett K Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm EDT

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    "You cal that a bat? This is a bat."

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Big League Stew is an MLB blog edited by Kevin Kaduk. Email him, and follow him on Twitter.

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