August 16, 2011
But what a condom company is doing in the wake of Jim Thome's 600th home run on Monday night comes, uh, close.
From the NuVo condoms press, uh, release:
Jim Thome(notes) has reason to celebrate today after hitting his 600th homerun last night versus the Detroit Tigers. As a congratulatory gift for Thome's incredible feat, NuVo sent the Minnesota Twins 600 condoms. NuVo hopes this offering to the team will help keep the Twins players and their partners safe during their celebrations. The Minnesota Twins aren't the only people that the NüVo team is looking out for — NüVo has already distributed over 200,000 free condoms this year alone. You can always hit a home run with NuVo Condoms!
Now, what the Twins are expected to do with these "gifts" is anyone's guess. I don't think they're going to offer Thome any added protection in the lineup or improve his stroke.
On the other hand, perhaps they can be filled with shaving cream for a postgame celebration that's a little more interesting — and dodge-worthy — than usual.
Or maybe they can still throw them in as a PTBNL in Monday's Delmon Young deal.
That's prophylactics to be named later, of course.
OK, I'll stop now.