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Big League Stew

Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:25 pm EDT

Best headline ever: Eddie Guardado traded for hamburger

By David Brown

It doesn't get much better than this. Left-handed reliever Eddie Guardado has just been traded from Texas to Minnesota for a hamburger — minor-league pitcher Mark Hamburger, that is.

Six immediate reactions to this news:

1. Cheese, you've got to be kidding me!

2. Did the Rangers get fries with that?

3. Mmm, Guardado.

4. Some Twinkies, a Hamburger, let's do lunch!

5. The Twins will gladly take Guardado to close on Tuesday for a Hamburger today

6. Prince and CC want to know why the Brewers couldn't have pulled this trade off.

The Happy Meal Deal also brings to mind other players who are named after food.

After the jump, find a brief list that does not include Garrett Atkins (despite being a whole DIET) or Roy Face (because we're not about to promote Hannibal Lecter's four squares).

• Darryl Strawberry

•  Marlon Byrd

•  Mike Lamb

•  Callix Crabbe

•  Coco Crisp

•  Jim Rice

•  Chet Lemon and Bob Lemon

•  Catfish Hunter

•  Baby Ruth

•  Chili Davis

•  Cookie Rojas

•  Felix Pie and Pie Traynor

•  Bob Veale

•  Rollie (Chicken) Fingers

•  Pee Wee Reese's Pieces

•  Rabbit Maranville

•  Zack Wheat

Who'd I miss?

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222 Comments

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  1. 5 127/128 feet under
    1. Posted by 5 127/128 feet under Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:11 pm EDT

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    sweet.
  2. Rhymenocerous
    2. Posted by Rhymenocerous Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    Jake Keilbasa and Rafael Mango come to mind
  3. This is Dave, Hello There!
    3. Posted by This is Dave, Hello There! Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:42 pm EDT

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    You know what this means. Rangers pitching coach Andy Hawkins is now Hamburger's helper in Texas.
  4. Xobai
    4. Posted by Xobai Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:06 pm EDT

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    Aaron Crow just signed with Washington, who has had to eat crow just about every season since 1992.
  5. jeffutlaw
    5. Posted by jeffutlaw Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:32 pm EDT

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    He better be glad Eric Gregg is no longer umpiring
  6. Juan
    6. Posted by Juan Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:43 pm EDT

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    What about DJ strawberry of the suns
  7. Bouldin
    7. Posted by Bouldin Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:25 pm EDT

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    As soon as i saw this headline, I knew that people were going to make fun of it.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  8. bacardi129
    8. Posted by bacardi129 Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:01 pm EDT

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    Pokey Reese
    Coco Crisp
  9. Jon
    9. Posted by Jon Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:02 pm EDT

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    berry bonds. he's a fruit alright
  10. Robert
    10. Posted by Robert Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:45 pm EDT

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    How about a bullpen full of food: Brian Bass of Minn Rocky Cherry of Balt Todd Coffey of Cinc
  11. Robert
    11. Posted by Robert Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:45 pm EDT

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    And all this food could be: Prepared by Aaron Cook Paid for by Kevin Cash
  12. Tony P
    12. Posted by Tony P Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:14 pm EDT

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    Goose Gossage
    Napolean Lajoie
    Jim Palmer - nickname "cakes"
    Ruben Sierra
    Tim Salmon
    John Mayberry
    Rob Deer
    and Howard Johnson
  13. Crazylegs $wam
    13. Posted by Crazylegs $wam Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:13 pm EDT

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    that Hamburger dude shoulda went for the name change prior to the draft. can see the variating headline for any low scoring losses he takes: Hamburger gets no helpers.
  14. This is Dave, Hello There!
    14. Posted by This is Dave, Hello There! Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:42 pm EDT

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    Rocky Cherry also is one of the few major leaguers to have two adjectives for names.
  15. jlpamc
    15. Posted by jlpamc Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:36 pm EDT

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    Johnny Oates.
  16. lovethisgame
    16. Posted by lovethisgame Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:57 pm EDT

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    Dizzy Trout
  17. This is Dave, Hello There!
    17. Posted by This is Dave, Hello There! Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:42 pm EDT

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    Howard Johnson is NOT a food, but he was a delicious ice cream parlor at one time.
    Ruben Sierra -- love it!
  18. lovethisgame
    18. Posted by lovethisgame Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:57 pm EDT

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    Chicken Stanley
  19. lovethisgame
    19. Posted by lovethisgame Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:57 pm EDT

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    Bob and Jim Lemon
  20. lovethisgame
    20. Posted by lovethisgame Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:57 pm EDT

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    Catfish Metkovich
  21. lovethisgame
    21. Posted by lovethisgame Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:57 pm EDT

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    Bobby Sturgeon
  22. lovethisgame
    22. Posted by lovethisgame Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:57 pm EDT

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    Sam Rice
  23. J ROD
    23. Posted by J ROD Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:45 pm EDT

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    I wonder If I could be trade Gary Sheffield for coco crispies (coco crisp) AWWWWhhhh I love cocoa crispies!!!!
  24. Geoffrey
    24. Posted by Geoffrey Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:08 pm EDT

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    Rocky Cherry
  25. SHARKSICE
    25. Posted by SHARKSICE Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:12 pm EDT

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    Coco Crisp

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