C'mon, vogue, Alex.

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself, Christian scripture insists. In this photo shoot for Details magazine that apparently has just fluttered onto news stands, Alex Rodriguez skips the middle man and gets right to loving himself in a number of pouty poses.

Some quick observations/critiques: 

• Is he practicing kissing himself in the mirror? You'd think he'd have that down by now.

• Can't afford sheets, eh? Oh On his salary?

• I hope the tire-as-prop is an ode to hanging a tire from a tree in the back yard and using it as a pitching target; otherwise, it's a mosquito hazard.

• Way too much eye makeup.

• I think I see Selena Roberts hiding in the closet!

No matter what readers here — or on Deadspin and the Sporting Blog — make of these shots, these pics are only the second-most embarrassing controversy for A-Rod to confront this year. He brought both on himself. Lucky for Alex, he's off healing from hip surgery and doesn't have to address this with reporters. Or with Derek Jeter, who would have done the Details shoot classier, sassier and sexier — no questions asked — for photog Steven Klein.

The accompanying article, written by Jason Gay, contains some key insights:

• A-Rod claims to ride the Subway to work ("The fans love it, I love it").

• A-Rod worries about revealing which Madonna song is his favorite ['m betting on"Beautiful Stranger"]

• He loosened up for the shoot with shots of Patron.

• He wears a Kabbalah bracelet — an indication that Madonna ain't far away.

• A-Rod does not order food at dinner.