Welcome to 'Duk's Dozen, a streamlined selection of 12 morning-fresh links and items to start your day. It welcomes submissions here or via Twitter.     

1. The Giants are throwing out dollar figures so they don't have to go to arbitration and shell out $13 million for Tim Lincecum in 2010, but Timmy and his agent aren't said to be amenable to meeting in whatever middle is being proposed by the team.

That means we could be headed to a hearing later this month, so long as Lincecum continues his Billy Madison impression —  "I see your mouth moving, but I can't make out the words. I'm deaf!" — with the powers that be. MLB Trade Rumors

2. You know we're running out of offseason post ideas when a Braves fan starts wondering if the Braves should sign Barry Bonds. Tomahawk Take

3. Fox will show two of its Saturday games in prime time this year and will show one of three interleague matchups on both May 22 and June 26. You can probably guess which teams are involved. Wax Paper Beer Cup

4. If you're going to criticize Adam Jones on the Internet, please be forewarned: His mother is watching what you write. Krem's Sports Blog

5. After being run from Japanese baseball, Bobby Valentine has a new job. He's going to attempt to reform the fire department in his hometown of Stamford, Conn. Yes, really. Stamford Advocate

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No matter if Tigers fans want Paws the mascot to dress up as a ninja and liberate Curtis Granderson from the Bronx, it's not going to happen.

Curtis isn't escaping from New York. Sorry, you Motor City dwellers.

Justin Verlander, on the other hand? He appears to be safe from any potential East Coast carpet-bagging. Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski has locked up, stocked and barreled Verlander away.

The AP reported on Wednesday night that the Tigers have signed their ace right-hander to a five-year, $80-million contract extension that keeps Verlander wearing the old English "D" through at least 2014.

And whenever Detroit-based AP writer Larry Lage does a story about Verlander, he always — always — includes this distinction:

Verlander is the only pitcher in baseball history to toss a no-hitter, start a World Series game, be a Rookie of the Year and an All-Star in his first two full seasons.

I love that note! And it's in practically every single Verlander story by Lage since late 2007. Look it up.

Anyway, Cot's Baseball Contracts says Verlander at $16 million per annum becomes the ninth highest-paid starting pitcher in the majors — just behind A.J. Burnett and John Lackey, and just ahead of Seattle Mariners righty Felix Hernandez.

This might make what Dombrowski did earlier in the offseason more palatable to Tigers fans, who had seemed to fall into a collective depression.

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At the risk of soliciting 83 references from "Airplane!" — that's my airspace, folks — here's Jim Leyland, Justin Verlander and Brandon Inge in the cockpit of a 747 during last week's Tigers Caravan. But let's not get all twisted up about that C-a-C restriction. Surely you must have a Nigerian terrorist joke or two to scribble down as an entry.  

So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?

Follow the jump for winners from the Bud Selig as Sean William Scott C-a-C:

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The BLS Blogbook aims to map the online information terrain by providing a separate web directory for each team. The product below is a result of submitted entries by team-specific bloggers and compiled information from the Big League Stew staff.

Please subscribe, follow and bookmark to your heart's content. If you're a blogger who would like to be listed, please visit this post for further instructions.

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Extreme pitching skill was the biggest reason that Felix Hernandez was signed to his new five-year, $78 million contract, but I'm convinced his comedic value in commercials — or at least the guys he has writing for him — played a role in the final figure.

First, you'll remember his flower delivery ad from 2009, which was easily the funniest of the Mariners' annual crop of humorous commercials.

Now witness the clip from the new MLB 2K10 "batters vs pitchers" campaign above in which Hernandez and Kendry Morales face off as King Felix eats lunch on the dugout bench. The back and forth between Justin Verlander and Justin Morneau is great, too.

I'm not saying any of them should quit their day jobs, but a big BLS head nod for earning a chuckle. Another clip of Hernandez and Morales can be found below:

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