August 18, 2011
Why do we love high school football? There are plenty of reasons, but few can match YouTube user divalover159, who somehow simultaneously authored both the most energetic and least sensible in-game pep talk of the 2011 season … before his team's season has even begun.
As if it were hard to detect, divalover159's team is the Knox City (Texas) High Greyhounds, a squad that competes in the smallest division in the Lone Star State: Class A six-man football. For those who might not know much about Knox City (and you'd practically have to be a Texas geography teacher to even know where it is), the county seat of Knox County is home to just more than 1,000 citizens. It lies roughly in the midpoint of a triangle between the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, Lubbock and Amarillo, and it occupies a tiny swath of land which is only 0.8 square miles.
To put Knox City's size in perspective, at the time of the 2000 census it had two Asian Americans. That's the entire town that was home to two Asian Americans, not the high school.
Yet, none of those limitations hold any bounds on divalover159's undying passion for the Greyhounds, whom he is convinced are in for a state championship run in the 2011 season. Why is he convinced? Well, just listen to his various enumerated reasons in his seven-minute soliloquy above (here's a hint, they all have a name and/or number on the back of their jersey).
While there are any number of reasons why divalover159's latest rant is fantastic, it's hard not to feel that his commitment to expressing adulation for nearly the entire Knox City roster can be outdone. At one point, he runs out of photos of Knox City players for his slideshow, so he just throws up a blue screen with a player's name on it when he calls them out for praise (pity poor Ty Bakersmith, for whom a disembodied blue screen showed in front of divalover159 pronouncing his name as "Ty Brakersmith").
Simple genius. Of course, the same could be said for divalover159's choice of attire -- American Classic chopper cycle tee? Yes please. The fact that it still bore sweat stains from a recent workout only makes it a more inspired choice.
We could go into so many other areas, but then we'd be stealing material from a future episode of Comedy Central's "Tosh.0." Dozens of viewers have already suggested that the clip land on the show, with a few claiming to have formally nominated it.
While that might bring divalover159 a whole new level of fame (or infamy), it also cheapens the best thing he has going for him: An unbridled passion for high school football. If Knox City players get a chance to check out his official "shout out," they'll have a hard time not being inspired … Ty Bakersmith included.