Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:52 am EDT
Who's going to replace Tiger on the Ryder Cup roster?
Say, did you hear Tiger Woods is out for the year? Some folks have been talking a little bit about it here and there. Anyhoo, Tiger's absence from the last half of 2008 means there's suddenly a vacancy on the U.S. Ryder Cup team. Who's going to get the nod? We offer up some potential choices:
Rocco Mediate
Pros: Took Tiger an extra 19 holes in the U.S. Open, which means he's currently only one stroke worse than Tiger, right?
Cons: What if he can't find another vial of whatever Super Magic Go Juice he drank just before this year's Open?
Rannulph Junuh
Pros: A decent, honorable fellow who would represent the United States well in international competition.
Cons: Kind of freaks out when he ends up in the woods. Also apparently relies an awful lot on his caddy.
Roy McAvoy
Pros: Insanely talented, unconventional golfer with the potential to win a match with nothing but a 2x4, a yardstick, and a fishing rod in his bag.
Cons: Has a bit of trouble with the approach shots. Also occasionally takes the game a bit less than seriously.
Charles Barkley
Pros: The single greatest person in the history of the planet to have in your foursome. Possibly even including Jesus and Buddha.
Cons: He's a turrible golfer. Just turrible.
Happy Gilmore
Pros: Crazy long off the tee. Lord knows how many drivers (and wrists) have been snapped trying to imitate his run-up swing.
Cons: Just plain crazy. Got a soft spot for his grandmother. Don't mention Bob Barker to him, either.
Ty Webb
Pros: Unbelievably skilled golfer with a putting stroke that Sergio Garcia would kill for.
Cons: Just doesn't care all that much. Also can be distracted by a pair of lacey underalls, so to speak.
Sam Alexis Woods
Pros: DNA. Even if her age costs her a couple strokes, she's still ten ahead of the field.
Cons: That whole prejudicial "no babies in the PGA" stance. Fight the power!
Any other choices? Fire away. And if you've got a tip / post / link for the Yahoo! Golf Blog to check out? Click here to hit up Jay Busbee with the scoop.
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Jay Busbee
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251 Comments
1 - 25 of 251
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Pros: Broke 100 on the US Open readt Torrey Pines. Would be able to distract those crazy Europeans with exciting tales of Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz. Better dancer than Rich Beem.
Cons: Thinks he's cool. Boy band background. Falsetto not applicable on the links.
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Pros: "Woods, what woods, I don't see any woods."
Cons: His caddie Babe, the Blue Ox, might leave some buried lies..er, pies.
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We have all seen how good a golfer with a bum leg could be
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You know...the guy from that infomercial that sells the air hammer driver.
POOOOWWWW!!!!
I would watch that guy shoot a 94 anyday.
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Pros: Lots of time to play on a celebrity tour, and whack the course, have fun and look good (loose weight)
Cons: Can't bet on Tiger for the rest of the year, No black jack either ( I hope so) saving money
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I know she doesn't belong on the mens tour...barely can hold her own on the womens. But can you imagine her in a singles match. Whoever she plays would be scared to death losing heads up to a girl on national television. Anything can happen in match play...I would watch.
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Pros: Her short skirts/long legs would distract the Euros
Cons: Her short skirts/long legs would distract the Americans
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The Europeans want him to win so badly they would gladly lay down to him on the golf course!
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1. The 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team Pros: Maybe the "Miracle on Ice" can translate into the "Miracle at Valhalla" Cons: The greens and fairways would be a mess with those hockey skate
2. Michael Jordan Pros: No one has ever invoked more "magic" or excitement than "Air" himself. Plus he can give Rocco Mediate some much needed pointers on looking cool while sticking your tongue out. Cons: Only good in the 4 ball. His game will need rescuing.
3. Lorena Ochoa Pros: Unbeatable at the game right now. Cons: No cons unless they won't allow a woman to play in the Ryder Cup
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Pros: Distraction for the other team, used to the spotlight....
Cons: Horrible driver
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Your grammar isn't exactly stellar with the non-caps at beginning of sentences, and the your' fan club' mistake.
Lastly, it is "write like third graders" not "write like a third grader" but it's just a blog so you're still entitled to a voice... er...voyce.
Judge not lest ye be judged...
Have a nice day!
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Pros: great eye candy distractions for the europas
Cons: box of rox, not sure if they know the difference between a putter and a bag of m&m's
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poor guy.
pros: Professional
cons: Amateur
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he can do the driving and leave the putting and short game to bruce banner.
pros: par 4s and 5s are reachable in 1 stroke
cons: needs to convince the sponsors that its legal to play with your alter ego
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Pros: Intimidating
Cons: His comb-over may get lifted off his head on a windy day.
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pros: would give his wife a second reason to be proud of her country.
cons:johnny miller would not be able to critisize his mistakes as the media has man crush for him
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1 - 25 of 251