Fog Bowl: Ageism

Fog Bowl: Ageism
By Andy Behrens
October 12, 2007

Andy Behrens
Yahoo Sports
Fog Bowl This Week: October 9 | October 10

There's really only one way to inquire about Vinny Testaverde. This is how it's done:

"Can you please have Yahoo! add Vinny Testaverde to our list of players? We have some idiot that wants him."

That's the most reasonable of the Vinny-related emails so far. Sure, there are 20-team leagues out there in which every backup QB is owned, so a fringe interest in the 43-year-old Testaverde is inevitable. But even in a 20-team league – and even if David Carr (back) can't play against Arizona in Week 6 – you're nuts to regard Testaverde as a viable fantasy option.

He's been a Carolina Panthers quarterback for three days. He last started in the NFL for the Jets in 2005, and under circumstances that weren't so different from those facing Carolina right now. Testaverde completed 56.6 percent of his passes that season, throwing one touchdown and six interceptions.

No disrespect intended to 40-something athletes. (Especially this guy. If anybody else wins the ESPY for alcoholic chess hustler of the year, it's scandalous). Testaverde has had a remarkable career. He won the Heisman Trophy when teammate Dwayne Jarrett was three months old and made his first Pro Bowl when Matt Moore was 12. Testaverde is really the Rasputin of the NFL: he's been concussed, poisoned, fired, rehired, shot, stabbed, and tossed in the river. Still he returns, slouching out of the shadows, tempting anyone who owned him in 1998.

Just leave him alone. He'll be in the player pool soon enough. Do nothing.

• Maybe Alge Crumpler is correct and Bobby Petrino really is trying to emphasize younger players and minimize the roles of Atlanta veterans. If so, someone needs to let Petrino know that Jerious Norwood is only 24. Warrick Dunn is actually the USFL's all-time leading rusher, he had a small recurring role on "My Two Dads," and he starred alongside Burt Reynolds at Florida State. I don't care what the rumors page says. It's silly that Norwood hasn't yet reached double-digit carries in any game this season.

• It would be nice if every lineup decision was perfectly clear on Friday afternoon, but that's obviously not the case. You'll need to closely watch game-day status for the following running backs: Jamal Lewis (foot), Laurence Maroney (groin), Fred Taylor (groin) and LaMont Jordan (back).

Bernard Berrian (toe), Rudi Johnson (hamstring), Todd Heap (hamstring), Steve McNair (back, groin, malaise), Santana Moss (groin), Greg Jennings (shoulder, hamstring) and Ahman Green (knee) are all expected to play, but you should check on those guys before game-time, too. It pays to be vigilant. Ask anyone who checked the Indianapolis inactive list in Week 5, just in time to start Kenton Keith.

Anquan Boldin (hip) told the Arizona Republic that he's "80 percent." He apparently isn't practicing on Friday. You'll likely need to find an alternative. The 0.7 percent-owned Bryant Johnson caught six passes for 80 yards in Week 5.

Najeh Davenport, a relatively hot waiver add following that two touchdown performance, has been charged with domestic violence, endangering children, and unlawful restraint. He'll presumably use the bye week to turn himself in to police in Cleveland. Jail time is a clear possibility here.

• If Cleo Lemon and John Beck were to get injured, Marty Booker would be the Miami quarterback. That's the answer to "How could things get any worse for the 0-5 Dolphins?"

• I don't normally use the full text of emails, but I'm about to do it for the second time in this column. This response to the Monday Injury Rundown is kind of awesome:

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ARTICLE IS THAT? "HEROIC." I SURELY HOPE YOU ARE REFERRING TO TRENT GREEN LAYING IT ON THE LINE FOR HIS TEAM. IF YOU ARE SLIGHTING TRENT (BY THE WAY IT IS SO POORLY WRITTEN IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL) THEN YOU ARE A COMPLETE MORON. BY THE WAY, I READ IT AGAIN AND I'M SIDING WITH COMPLETE MORON. DON'T TAKE PLEASURE IN ANOTHER MAN'S PAIN FOR YOUR STUPID A** EDITORIAL COMMENTS. SOMEONE OUGHT TO SCULPT YOU A TROPHY WITH YOUR MUG ON IT AND NAME IT D*****BAG.

That was sent by an attorney in Florida. He likes the "Caps Lock" key and, apparently, the Dolphins.

Just to be clear, I think Travis Johnson's comments and actions after Green's injury were deplorable. Green's block was low, but it didn't seem malicious. It seemed awkward. Like he wanted to make a play, but a sense of self-preservation took hold. Green certainly did not intend to plant his temple into the knee of a 305-pound man who was running at full speed. Here's hoping Green recovers fully, and soon.

Andy Behrens has written for ESPN.com, the Chicago Sports Review, NBA.com, the Chicago Reader and various other publications. In all likelihood, Andy owns more Artis Gilmore memorabilia than you. Follow him on Twitter. Send Andy a question or comment for potential use in a future column or webcast.

Updated on Friday, Oct 12, 2007 3:45 pm, EDT

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