General Message Board
If you can watch a race & laugh at the same time, and if you like a good joke in poor(&stupid) taste, join Cartman & me at South Park Speedway:
2012 ID - 240; PW - sweet
No sniper rifles, please, we are trying to change our image (you can get one at the gift shop after entering)....
- 1 Reply to JoanieReb
That road leads to Conifer. You want to go to South Park, you've got to go down that road. [indicates gloomy road leading through a twisted-looking forest] Course, I ain't never seen anyone go up that road. Six years ago a group of campers went up there and got lost, had to eat each other to stay alive. Used to be the way to the O'Reilly house. He butchered over fifty children and kept their bodies in his cellar. You should find an old bridge about halfway up; that bridge is cursed, you know. They built it with the bones of two hundred Chinese laborers who were massacred in '34. Yap, lotta history on that road to South Park Speedway.
Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here for the little South Park Speedway. Are you tired of sitting in limbo? Lost somewhere between planes of existence? Well now there's a product that can help you-- id 240 pw sweet
Walter Cronkite: Will somebody shut his 240 sweet mouth?! I can't take it anymore!
Patrick Swayze: This is bad enough without having to constantly listen to you try and sell your stupid crap, Mays!
Billy Mays: With just two easy steps, I can climb over these seats and kick you right in the south park speedway!
Walter Cronkite: As much as this sucks, it's better than living in a world where it costs $2 for a passenger vehicle to go through a toll booth in West Virginia.
Patrick Swayze: Don't forget the electronic toll collection in Ohio just to get to South Park Speedway id 240 pw sweet
"Dear Mommy and Daddy, I am running away. I am sorry, but I can no longer handle the monotony of middle-class life. Everyone at school is joining South Park Speedway, and if one more person talked to me about that Susan Boyle performance of Les Misérables, I was going to puke my balls out through my mouth. I love you all, but I have to move on. I'm going to join South Park Speedway then go to Somalia to be--to be a pirate"? 240 sweet
Mickey Mouse: Where would you be without me, Jonas Brothers? Ha-ha. Your music sucks and you know it, ha-ha. It's because you make little girl's gineys tickle, and when little girl's gineys tickle, I make money, ha-ha. And that's because little girls are joining South Park Speedway, ha-ha. And the purity rings make it okay to do whatever I want, ha-ha. Oh. Ha-ha. Hello, folks.
- 2 Replies to JoanieReb
Gordon Stoltski: [reading morning announcements over the intercom to the school] Good morning, South Park Elementary. These are the morning announcements. Parent-teacher conferences begin next Thursday. If you have not yet done so, please turn in your parents' requested time sheets by the end of fifth period today. Lunch today will be a choice of chicken tostadas or spaghetti with a marninara sauce and side salad. Attention fourth graders: the registration for South Park Speedway starts tomorrow. Any interested students should fill out a-- [is interrupted when a door is heard being kicked in] Whoa, what's going on?! [everyone in Fourth Grade classroom looks up at the speaker in surprise]
Intruder: I'll kill you! I swear to God I'll kill you!
Gordon: Who are you?!
Intruder: I'm the man who's gonna put a bullet between your eyes!
Gordon: Hey! He's got a gun!
Intruder: You little bastard! You joined South Park Speedway with my wife! You think I wouldn't find out the ID is 240 and the password is "sweet"?!
Let's just take a look at these Keywords here: Wendy's made it clear she wants our school to be a more Integrated Leftist and Liberal place! But you see whatn that happens, what we get is a Socialist, Modern, Utopian, Reformed, Farce of a School. So when you look closely it becomes very obvious what Wendy wants. K I L L S M U R F S. Our school president ...wants to kill Smurfs.
Judge: From what I've been presented and the evidence put forth, the Court has no choice but to order you to join Mr. Cartman's fantasy auto racing league id 240 pw sweet and place it in your mouth and draw upon it succulently for no less than 30 seconds.
Eric Cartman: Yesss!
Judge: You have 24 hours to join aforementioned league. If, after that time, you still refuse, the Court will be forced to arrest you for contempt. Next case. [bangs gavel]
Eric Cartman: Thank you, Your Honor. This isn't a victory for me. This is a victory for the justice system...and my league.
- View More Messages
Expert Fantasy Advice
The Big Board takes into consideration past returns, current performance and expected future gains in determining who should be included. … More »
Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski talk MLB news and happenings, starting in St. Louis. … More »
Hanley Ramirez's bat has come alive this week and he's cheaply priced for Sunday DFS. … More »
Talking Edwin Encarnacion, a look around the league and other random nonsense. … More »