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A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed a small shoe shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, ''Come in. Come into my humble shop!"
So they walked in, and the Jamaican said, '' have some special sandals I tink you be interested in... Dey make you wild at de sex."
The wife got really interested, but the husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the shopkeeper, ''How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, ''Just try dem on, Mon. You doan haff to do nutting cept try dem on."
So the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican started to scream out frantically ''You got dem on da wrong feet! Mon, you got dem on da wrong feet! ''
A woman's revenge .. the drink ..
A girl and her boyfriend go to the pub. When it's the girl's turn to buy around, she tells him that she's heard of a wonderful new drink he simply must try.
She returns with the usual half of lager for herself. For him, she has two glasses. One contains a measure of Bailey's, the other lime juice.
Instructions: ''OK, what you gotta do is, you gotta swig the Bailey's, hold it in your mouth, and then drink the lime juice."
He looks a bit dubious, but she's very enthusiastic so he decides to give it a go.
First the Bailey's; lovely smooth, creamy, warm feeling in the mouth. Then he takes the lime juice.
T + 0.1 secs: The cream in the Bailey's curdles.
T + 0.3 secs: Boyfriend's face turns the color of fresh lime juice.
T + 0.6 secs: Boyfriend calms his stomach and swallows the gunge.
T + 1.5 secs: She whispers in his ear....
"It's called Blowjob revenge"
WELL....I'll be dropping you a note this weekend. :) Maybe we can work it out.
And for all you perverts out there, we know each other fairly well and this is having fun if nothing else.
Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a
condom about to give his wife some.
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says,
"Whatcha doin' Daddy?"
Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the
floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says.
Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?"
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