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Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gifts he requests."
Two days before Christmas, Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. "I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage."
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage. When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?"Johnny replied,"I think I got a dog but I can't find the son-of-a-bitch!"
Little Johnny's father came to him one day and said, "It's time we had a talk about the birds and the bees."
Little Johnny replied, "Oh no! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus then to tell me there's no Easter Bunny. If you're going to tell me there's no such thing as sex, I'll have nothing to live for
At dinner tonight my boss asked for a joke, his wife told us a good visual one. Which we laughed at good. I needed a good one. I thought of this one and told it. I had to think for second to remember how it went then took off with it. when I got to the end my boss spit beer. Thanks for the jokes everyone through this thread I think my funny bone was jump started. LoL.
Thanks for this one Wally because it stuck with me all day today till I needed to pull it out of my head.