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Beauty is in the eye of the beheld
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go To the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' he said,'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . .
You just happened "to catch my eye"
- 2 Replies to wally
I must have grown up in a rougher neighborhood than I thought wally! My version goes like this...
A man walks into a whorehouse with a quarter and asks what they have to satisfy him for that little of an amount. The man behind the desk says "Get real! We don't have anything for you." About that time Wicked Wanda rounds the corner and says "Come on Honey, I'll take care of you."
As they stroll upstairs and enter her room, Wanda pops out her left eye. The man is startled, Wanda asks "What? You can give me a skullin' for a quarter but nothing else."
When the ordeal is finished the man is surprised at how well it did the trick. He says "Maybe I'll be back for some more of that." Wanda replys "I'll keep an eye out for you doll..."
4 days after the neighbors were braggin about, " Oh yeah, we have beautiful weather here, no hurricanes, no tornadoes", Oh shit, we better clean out the storm cellar, WTF,, did that shit follow me up here from Texas????