General Message Board
From the AP--
Concord, NC--In a decision that stunned the nation last Sunday, Nascar became the first sport to ever stop their own competition and leave the rest of it up to the imagination of their fans! "It was starting to rain and we really didn't want to wait another 20 minutes or so to dry the track and then restart the race...." said Nascar President, Mike Helton, "....so we decided to go on ahead and call the race right there and just leave it to our fans to imagine in their [own] minds what happened!" It is a concept that Helton said he and the rest of his colleges had been thinking about since they saw the series finale of The Sopranos! "I think that our fans will enjoy choosing whoever they want as the Daytona 500 winner!" said CEO of Nascar, Brian France. "I'm going to imagine that a huge pterodactyl came swooping down and ate a bunch of spectators before taking a huge sht on Bobby Labonte's Ask.com windshield!" We asked some fans what they thought about the whole 'imagination' thing and here's what they had to say, "I just really can't imagine Dale Jr ever becoming successful, but I'll try!" said Peter from Nebraska. Stacey from Illinois had this to say, "I'm gonna imagine Dale Jr getting his lap back and then coming all the way around the field, getting to second, then punting Juan Pablo Montoya, not by his own doing of course, into the wall and taking out the entire field back behind him!" "In my imagination of what happened in the Daytona 500, I imagined that me and Dale Jr went out partying at the local clubs and at Whiskey River where we met a sht load of girls and they all went home with us before Dale Jr won the 500 by simply asking Brian France if he could cut him some slack because his paw died several years ago!" said Elmer of Florida. Nascar has also decided to let the rest of the 2009 season be left up to the imagination of it's fans! When asked why by the AP, Helton had this to say, "I don't know?". VP of Competition, Ryan Pemberton spoke as to why they made this decision, "If we leave our races to the imagination of the fans, then if a driver like Mark Martin ever gets screwed out of a Daytona 500 win or a championship ever again, no one can blame us! They can only blame their idiotic selves for coming up with such an asinine finish to their own worldly sanctioned races!!!" Finally Brian France said "I can see a future for Nascar where no longer will it be brought to you by such lucrative corporations such a Sprint or Camping World, but more like Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood it will be brought to you by 'Viewers Like You'!!!!"
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