1: Roger Clemens will tell the truth. 2: Chris Berman will act intelligent off camera. 3: Jose Canseco will win Dancing with the Stars. 4: Kate Beckinsale will deliver a pizza to my house wearing half of a delivery box, speaking in French, and doing interpretive dance moves to the music of The Minutemen. 5: I will make up 20 points in my fantasy Hockey league. 6: The Twins will host a playoff game in the snow in their new outdoor stadium (Harmon Killibrew smiles). 7: God will become a Cubs fan. 8: Satan will give up on the Yankees. 9: George Bush will learn how to fly a plane 40 years after being a "jet pilot". 10. I will have affordable health insurance.