Tucked away in Reno a killer slithers quietly in the grass. This Snake, packed with venom so toxic it could paralyze the opposition with one strike, continues to wind a course of destruction through Double and now Triple-A, leaving victims in its wake bewildered, vexed and completely humbled.

The creature's name: Trevor Bauer.

Every year as spring gives way to summer, insatiable owners with various deficiencies often rest their hopes of a turnaround on unproven, uber-talented prospects with a flair for the spectacular. So far, hitters Bryce Harper, Mike Trout and, most recently, Matt Adams (we hope), materialized from the minors to provide struggling managers with the statistical jolt they so desperately needed.

However, most ballyhooed pitching prospects have failed to do the same.

Jarrod Parker was quite useful over his first three turns yielding just four earned over 20 innings. Sadly since then, spotty command and poor run support have turned him into a stream-only starter. Meanwhile, Colorado southpaw Drew Pomeranz, a top-50 farmhand according to Baseball America, posted a wretched 5.87 BB/9 during his lousy five-game tour with the Rockies.

Bauer, however, is a completely different animal.

After the former UCLA standout humiliated Southern League hitters for the first quarter of the MiLB slate (48.1 IP, 1.68 ERA, 1.23 WHIP, 11.17 K/9), Arizona GM Kevin Towers threw down the gauntlet. Last week he promoted the organization's No. 1 prospect to Triple-A Reno, quite possibly the tiniest, most unfriendly pitching venue in all of professional baseball. It's an environment so sinister, ERAs typically resemble Jabba the Hutt's waistline. Tower's reasoning: If Bauer is successful there, he'll be successful anywhere. From MLB.com:

"I wouldn't say he completely overmatched Double-A," D-backs GM Kevin Towers said. "But I think if you look at his numbers, we wanted to put him in an environment where he probably was facing a little better competition, a little more of a veteran hitter, smaller ballpark where it's going to be a little more difficult for him."

No surprise, Bauer's response: "Thank you sir! May I have another."

In his debut with the Aces last Friday, the flamethrower sent Fantasyland into a tizzy. Over eight spectacular innings versus Oklahoma City he surrendered just one earned on four hits (1 BB) with 11 strikeouts (Watch his final punchout here).

Challenge accepted.

Though not as polished as Stephen Strasburg, Bauer could make a minor-to-majors impact similar to what the Nats' phenom did two years ago. The self-described mad scientist, who thinks groundballs are overrated, certainly has the stuff. His darting mid-90s fastball and sensational curve both score 70 on the 20-80 scouting scale. His changeup, splitter and slurve, nicknamed "The Bird," also register as plus pitches.

His command at times does slip, evident in his 4.84 BB/9 this year at Double-A, but his unique cerebral approach proves he is a true one-of-a-kind. The righty's 13-step pregame routine, featuring tension bands, isometrics, extreme long-toss and bizarre tribal-like dancing, is very unconventional. To Bauer, the extensive ritual helps prevent injury while maintaining peak mentality, a viewpoint Josh Beckett would probably never adhere to.

Despite locals' cries for an immediate call-up, Bauer is expected to receive additional Triple-A seasoning over the foreseeable future. Daniel Hudson is expected to return May 26, bumping Pat Corbin from the rotation. And because Wade Miley has pitched so well, it will likely take an injury or disastrous downturn by the lefty or Joe Saunders for Towers to make a move. Still, the eight-percent owned rising star needs to be stashed in 12-team and deeper leagues. His strikeout potential alone could vault K-deprived owners up the ranks.

Patience needs to be a virtue, but at some point this summer Bauer will bite.

Fearless Forecast (w/Arizona): 78.1 IP, 6 W, 3.49 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, 87 K

FLAMES OF THE WEEK

Brian Dozier, Min, SS (3-percent owned) — The underappreciated Twinkie is Allen Craig before the Cardinal became a lineup staple, a largely ignored hitter who simply rakes. Though he displays modest pop, Dozier has an excellent feel for the strike-zone consistently applying bat-to-ball. At every stop in his journey to The Show, he never posted a strikeout percentage above 16.1. He also notched a career .305 BA down on the farm. Because he's seeing steady action in the sixth spot, he may also contribute better-than-expected RBI production. Also equipped with double-digit wheels (29 SBs in '11), the Brett Favre-U product is a mixed-league employable middle infielder in the mold of Zack Cozart. If you're an impatient Alexei Ramirez owner tired of the 0-fers, Dozier is an ideal stopgap.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 406 at-bats, .276 BA, 6 HR, 52 RBI, 43 R, 8 SB

Elliot Johnson, TB, 2B/SS (19-percent) — The Ray of statistical sunshine is another middle man who is being largely ignored by owners even in moderately deep mixers. With Evan Longoria shelved, which forced Sean Rodriguez to third, the 28-year-old has taken advantage of the extended playing time at the six. So far this month he's totaled a .323 BA with two homers, six RBI, eight runs and six steals. His high strikeout volume (25.0 K%) will likely surpress his BA long-term, but his attractive minor league returns (.319-11-56-72-30 in '10), particularly in steals, arrow to sustainable value in 12-team and deeper mixers. Recall last year in a limited role with the Rays (160 at-bats), he flashed 15-20 potential (4 HR, 6 SB) despite hitting a ghastly .194. Consider him a useful MI until Longoria returns sometime in late-June/early-July.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 324 at-bats, .258 BA, 7 HR, 40 RBI, 34 R, 14 SB

LAMES O' THE WEAK

Dee Gordon, LAD, SS — Admittedly, my bold preseason prediction the speedster would threaten or eclipse Jose Reyes' single season benchmark in SBs this century will fall a few dozen short. Unless he starts rapping hits soon, the Mendoza-hugging shortstop could be shipped back to Albuquerque in short order. His increasing whiffs ('11 K%: 11.6, '12: 18.8) and overall lack of success against fastballs, particularly over the outer half, are trying Don Mattingly's patience and curbing what Dee does best, swiping bags. Currently mired in a 4-for-36 slide, Donny Baseball plans to give Gordon occasional rest to clear the kid's head. Eventually, he should come around, making him a strong buy-low candidate. This week in one-for-one industry deals he was swapped for Ted Lilly, Eric Hosmer and Jed Lowrie. Buy on the bear.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 448 at-bats, .274 BA, 1 HR, 28 RBI, 67 R, 41 SB

Dan Haren, LAA, SP — Historically, the righty storms out of the gate then slowly fades during summer's dog days. However, this year, the Angels' workhorse has flipped the script. With only one victory on the season and an ERA hovering in the mid-4s, he's failed miserably to live up to expectation. Overall, he's the 714th-best player in the Y! universe. Checking under the hood, Haren's increase in walks combined with an unsavory 1.13 HR/9 are the primary reasons for the ERA inflation. The rest of his peripherals are in line with the norm. Once he finds the strike zone with more regularity and leans hard again on his cutter, his totals should greatly improve, as his 3.69 xFIP indicates. Like Gordon, he's a discounted commodity worth pitching a lowball offer for. He was dealt straight up for Alex Rodriguez, Jim Johnson and Michael Cuddyer in recent industry one-for-one swaps.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 155.1 IP, 11 W, 3.49 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 130 K

QUICK HITTERS (Random musings from my demented head)

• Just when you thought Kevin Millwood retired a decade ago, he reappears. Showing vintage, heyday form, the 37-year-old tossed consecutive masterful performances on-the-road in two extremely difficult venues, Yankees Stadium and Coors Field. Against the Rockies he twirled his first complete game shutout since 2003, the same year a 15-year-old Dustin Ackley earned his driver's permit and 50 Cent was blowin' up the Billboard charts. Leaning more on his cutter, Millwood has induced more groundball outs and dramatically increased his K/9. Though run support will be a problem and he'll likely be dangled to a contender at the deadline, he's worth monitoring even in shallow leagues. His next two turns, both against Texas, are intimidating, but he limited the Rangers to a mere one run over six innings (7 Ks) on April 11. Emerge from those starts unscathed and the wily veteran, owned in just three-percent of Y! leagues, may earn a renewed fantasy following.

• Chipper Jones' hair may be graying by the second, but he's swinging the bat with the smoothness of a 25-year-old. The 40-year-old is on pace for only his second 90-RBI campaign and highest HR/FB percentage since 2005. Occasional aches and pains are always a possibility with Larry Wayne, but the 60-percent-owned hot corner deserves more love in shallow mixers. Despite missing a few games with residual pain in his knee and most recently a calf strain, he's the 11th-best 3B in the Yahoo! universe, ranking ahead of more coveted commodities Alex Rodriguez, Brett Lawrie and Michael Young. On a per game basis, where he currently ranks fourth among eligible three-baggers, he might be one of the virtual game's deadliest hitters. Have to admit, it will be a somber day when he digs into the box for the last time. Thankfully, I'll always have his pleated Dockers shorts and leather braid belt to remind me of the good times.

• For whatever strange reason, I have an affinity for big-boned players. Not sure what the internal trigger is, but it could possibly stem from my rather hefty collection of Bob Hamelin Upper Deck rookie cards from 1990. His pinchable cheeks, plus power and accountant glasses were, I guess, too irresistible. Being a chubby chaser, I'm jumping aboard the Matt Adams bandwagon. Now that Fat Elvis, Lance Berkman, has officially left the building for the next 6-8 weeks, the Cartman-wide first-baseman is must-grab material even in fairly shallow mixers. Scouts describe him as Freddie Freeman with more pop. Glancing at his stellar minor league record, that's not far from the truth. First base is an overloaded position, but Adams has a shot at a .280-18-65-55 line over the rest of the season, provided he sticks in the lineup.

• If an unsightly number of red "DL" tags currently decorate your roster, seek out the services of Arizona's Josh Bell. The former top prospect in the Orioles system may finally bloom in a new environment. An overzealous approach held him back during his time in Baltimore, but after totaling a 0.59 BB/K and .381 BA prior to his promotion to Reno, he is showing signs of maturity. Officially supplanting Ryan Roberts at third base, he should see plenty of action over the coming weeks. The swooning D-Backs are desperate for offense. Don't be surprised if his two-run blast off Aaron Harang Tuesday night springboards him. Bell definitely possesses enough raw power to churn out 15-plus homers over the remainder of the season.

• It's great to see wholesome, good-natured pound-your-teammate-in-the-face-during-a-voluntary-workout-while-he's-looking-the-other-way fun has returned to the NFL. Similar instances have existed in fantasy circles for years. When Funston poached Nelson Cruz in a magazine mock a couple of years ago, he felt the Noise's fist of fury. You might be asking: "Evans, you're so scrawny, you couldn't flatten a tortilla." But, my friend, never judge a book by its cover. Anyone who poaches Doug Martin right before my pick in football drafts this year better be prepared to feel my wrath.

• Movies about board games is a bizarre concept. But since Liam Neeson is in "Battleship," I'll eventually break down and see it when it hits the Red Box. After watching him in "Schindler's List," "Batman Begins," "Taken" and "The Grey," I'm convinced he could make a film about Mark Prior's career ("Operation: The Mark Prior Story") enjoyable. Next to Daniel Day Lewis, he's undoubtedly the Noise's favorite thespian.

• Maxim's rank of Kate Upton at No. 39 on its annual Hot 100 list is akin to the Y! fantasy brass placing Josh Hamilton behind Ben Zobrist on the baseball Big Board, a travesty. Justin Verlander would agree. There's no way bubble gummy Taylor Swift (No. 26) possesses more bedroom sizzle. No way.

Want to bean Brad in the head? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise and be sure to check him along with Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski on The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio

In my perfect word, every MLB club would have a knuckleballer on staff, be it as a rotation man or someone to save the bullpen. Heck, most knuckleballers can fulfill both of those roles if you ask.

The reality: we only have one current butterfly artist to enjoy, New York's R.A. Dickey. Let's appreciate this man while he's still around. Better yet, let's see if we can find some roster space for perhaps the National League's most underrated starting pitcher.

Dickey and James McDonald locked up in a dandy pitcher's duel in Pittsburgh on Tuesday, with both men allowing just one run over seven innings. McDonald's power stuff collected eight strikeouts, while Dickey bobbed and weaved to a career-high 11 punchouts. Dickey also got out of dodge with a victory, as the Mets pushed across two deciding runs against Juan Cruz in the top of the eighth.

Dickey has been one of the most reliable arms in our numbers racket this year. He's provided useful stats in all but one of his starts, checking in with six innings or more and three earned runs or less in eight turns. His only messy start came in the rain at Atlanta back in April, an excused absence all the way (cold weather generally hurts the knuckler, and he was up against the NL's second-best offense).

Dickey's solid ERA and WHIP from 2010 (2.84/1.19) and 2011 (3.28/1.23) put him on this spring's radar as a possible late-round selection, but there were two logical reasons why some gamers shied away. Dickey had a mediocre 19-22 record for the Mets over the last two years (part of that is bad luck, part of that is toiling for a sub.-500 team), and his strikeout rate never pushed past the 6.0 mark. It's hard to justify a Circle of Trust spot, or even a preferred streamer spot, to someone who's struggling to get win support and likely to compromise our K/IP ratio.

Alas, those two concerns haven't been issues through the opening quarter of 2012. Dickey's already collected six wins for a 23-20 Mets club — keep in mind he had just eight all of last year — and his strikeout rate has spiked as well (51 whiffs over his 57.1 innings). While no one will ever point to the knuckleball as a consistent pitch, Dickey's current form makes him someone we can employ with confidence. His stats to this point rank him as the No. 27 pitcher in the Yahoo! game.

While upcoming matchups can be a little misleading for someone who throws such an unconventional pitch, the projected slate to follow doesn't look bad. Dickey gets San Diego this weekend (yes, please), and in June he'll visit the Nationals (low-scoring club) and Rays (most pitchers are comfortable under the catwalk). A home date against St. Louis is more imposing, but the Cardinals have some injury issues at present, so perhaps Dickey can keep the Houdini act working against them, too.

Shouldn't this guy be owned in more than 43 percent of Yahoo! leagues? I sure think so. Maybe it's not going to be a six-month story, but Dickey is welcome to pitch on any of my fake teams right now.

• Everyone knows that 2012 has been The Year of the Blown Save, but the ninth-inning mischief largely took the night off Tuesday. We saw a whopping 12 handshakes on the full slate, and every pitcher who converted a save did so without allowing a run. Collectively the group struck out 15 batters, walked just two, scattered a mere four hits. Smooth landings all over the land.

Rather than giving every closer their own extensive write-up and podium moment, let's assemble the crew for a collective cheer. Take a bow, men: Jim Johnson (winner of the Thigpen Timing Award), Kenley Jansen (bailed out with a double play), Tyler Clippard, Chris Perez (greeted by Cleveland cheers), Heath Bell, Santiago Casilla, Aroldis Chapman (lights out, as usual), Fernando Rodney (bullpen story of the year), Brett Myers, Rafael Soriano (working around a double), Joe Nathan, and last, but not least, the Rasputin of Closers, Frank Francisco (a creamy-smooth 1-2-3 in Pittsburgh).

We'll give the Clippard conversion a few extra words, given how we devoted Tuesday's CT to the Washington save chase. Clippard went to Nationals pitching coach Steve McCatty before the game and basically said "what about me?" with respect to the closing vacancy. In the past Davey Johnson has preferred to keep Clippard locked into the eighth inning, but the reliable righty found himself inserted into a ninth-inning spot at Philly. Just get three outs before they tally three runs, big guy.

Clippard came through with a tidy 1-2-3 inning, though one batter (Pete Orr) greeted him with a 330-foot liner that just barely hooked foul. Ten of Clippard's 14 pitches were strikes, and the Phillies didn't hit a fair ball out of the infield (one strikeout, two ground outs). Consider Clippard the chairman of the Washington bullpen until further notice.

• Arizona's J.J. Putz was the lone closer to lose his way Tuesday, issuing a couple of walks before allowing a game-flipping two-run double to Ivan DeJesus Jr. (one of the anonymous hitmen Don Mattingly is employing these days). Putz has a messy 7.20 ERA and 1.53 WHIP for the year, but he's also 9-for-12 on saves (not great, but not horrendous) and has 17 whiffs against just three walks. I'd be surprised if he were lifted from the role without further missteps along the way. If you feel the need to hedge immediately, David Hernandez (2.22/1.10, 29 Ks against eight walks) is your man.

• Post-game hugs and smiles are routine for any club right after a win, but the Cardinals looked extra happy after Adam Wainwright's four-hit masterpiece over the Padres (1 BB, 9 K; 76 of 111 pitches were strikes). Wainwright commanded all of his pitches and basically looked like the star we all remember from 2009 and 2010; sure, the outing came against a cushy opponent, but the video jumps off the screen. Here's the tape, see for yourself.

So much for any buy-low window, it's been slammed shut now. Enjoy the comeback portion of the program. Wainwight's next five projected opponents look reasonable: the Phillies this weekend (against Doc Halladay), followed by the Mets, Astros, White Sox and Royals. Let's hope the Cardinals don't need to shuffle the rotation, due to weather or unexpected happenings; that's a slate Wainwright should succeed against. Welcome back, ace.

• I'm almost glad I didn't have an eye on the Royals and Yankees for most of the night: the last thing I need is to talk myself into Luke Hochevar and Phil Hughes (both were effective). New York's lineup hasn't been doing much lately, but use that slump to your advantage. I'd go out and buy Mark Teixeira (.229) today, if any sort of discount applied; many rotoheads are frustrated with him, but he has a history of these slow starts and the womb of the offense will eventually be good to him. The Kansas City offense has fleas of its own, but at least Jeff Francoeur has finally woken up (7-for-13 with two homers and a triple since Sunday). You have to root for anyone as cool as Frenchy, the type of guy who routinely picks up the dinner check in the bleachers.

• While the Angels are a definite disappointment at 19-25, it's a monumental fluke that the club has just five saves through the opening quarter (lowest count in the majors). Every team in baseball is capable of landing 25-30 saves in a given season, in theory, so there should be some payback handshakes to come when things normalize a bit. And it's entirely possible that the Angels will eventually play up to their pre-season notices and make a push for the playoffs, which could push the handshake line into overdrive.

Arcade-endorsed Ernesto Frieri mopped up Tuesday's win at Oakland, in relief of the brilliant C.J. Wilson (8 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K). Frieri struck out two of the three batters he faced, giving him a silly 34 punchouts in 19.1 innings this year. If he can stick around the strike zone (he does have nine walks), he's capable of having a breakout year, a difference-making year for our purposes. That 22-percent ownership tag should be a lot higher.

• I'd like to go a full shift without Red Sox angst, but the Olde Towne Team doesn't make it easy. The Tuesday loss at Baltimore featured the return of Kevin Youkilis, and while Youkilis clocked a homer in his first at-bat, his presence in the lineup caused a notable shift in the team's defensive plan. Bobby Valentine (or the front office) decided to move Adrian Gonzalez to right field, opening first base for Youkilis and leaving third base to rookie Will Middlebrooks. Perhaps Gonzalez can get away with the outfield assignment in some road parks (he handled it in Philly last weekend without major incident), but using him in Fenway Park's expansive and tricky right field would be a major mistake. And what's the logic behind taking a Gold Glove winner off his natural position, anyway?

You get the idea Boston would like to trade Youkilis eventually, and heck, he'll probably be hurt again before you know it. But the longer the club tries to use Gonzalez as the fish out of water, the more it's risking a potential catastrophe. Here's hoping this is a short-lived experiment. Even if Middlebrooks has to go back to Triple-A for a short time, it's not the worst thing in the world for the kid.

Brian Matusz recorded the win for Baltimore (6.1 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 BB, 9 K), his fifth strong start in six turns. And you can excuse him for the one day he didn't have it; the Rangers wrecking crew can do it to anybody. I know many of you have been burned on Matusz in the past and I can't recommend him in good conscience for Monday's turn at Toronto; too much jagged history in the rear-view mirror, and the Jays have some formidable right-handed bats. But if you see a compelling reason to hop on board the Matusz bandwagon immediately, state your case in the comments. He'll be one of the more interesting ranks when I assemble the starting-pitcher Shuffle Up on Thursday afternoon.

If you run into Henry Rodriguez sometime this morning, say at a Philly breakfast spot, be cordial. Offer him some juice, let him work on the crossword puzzle. Send a piece of toast his way.

But forget about the caffeine, Rodriguez. Coffee is for closers, only.

The Nationals held on for dear life in Monday's 2-1 victory at Philadelphia, with Rodriguez providing the high-wire act in the ninth (one walk, one hit, one loud out, two wild pitches). The Rocket of Randomness offered 11 erratic tosses before Davey Johnson mercifully pulled the plug. Only four of Rodriguez's pitches were strikes, and the worst four of them sailed to the backstop (two to the opening batter, and two later as the wild pitches).

Rodriguez was actually yanked in the middle of Ty Wigginton's at-bat, the type of substitution you rarely see. Johnson knew the game was getting out of hand. And it's worth noting that the Nationals first raced to the bullpen phone after Rodriguez's second pitch of the inning. It was obvious to everyone that H-Rod simply didn't have it Monday.

Lefty Sean Burnett finished off the handshake, not that he was lights-out, either (11 pitches, four strikes). Burnett picked up the second out on a sacrifice fly, then walked a batter. The game eventually ended on Placido Polanco's soft liner to second base.

Rodriguez doesn't get a blown save for his carnival act — the Phillies didn't tie the game, after all — but it's hard to trust his current profile. His ERA is up to 4.50 and he's walked 13 batters in 18 innings — that takes most of the value away from his 23 strikeouts. And Rodriguez has unleashed a ridiculous eight wild pitches thus far, tops in the majors. No reliever threw more than 14 last year (come to think of it, that was Bad Henry, too).

What's the skinny, skipper? Here's what Johnson said to MLB.com after the game.

"It's frustrating," Johnson said. "I have all the confidence in the world in [Rodriguez]. He's got great stuff. Sometimes he tries to do too much and gets a little excited out there. It's not easy. He came a long way last year and he's come a long way this year. But he's not quite there to be a polished closer."

Asked if he could continue putting himself in a position where he had to have another reliever warming up behind his closer, Johnson indicated that he couldn't.

"I'm going to sleep on it, but I'm going to look at alternatives," Johnson said. "Henry's either lights out or sometimes he's exciting. I was hoping the first four hitters we'd get a couple outs. I wanted to get by the two big right-handers on their bench [Wigginton and Luna]. But I had no choice the way it was going. I had to go get him and let [Burnett] face the right-handers. Not that he can't get right-handers out, but it wasn't what I wanted to do."

So it sounds like we're dealing with another messy bullpen committee here. The funny thing is, Johnson has plenty of viable alternatives. He doesn't have to subject himself to the nightmare we saw Monday.

Burnett (0.71 ERA, 1.03 WHIP) has been a little wild against righties, but they're only hitting .174 against him. Lefties, no problem (no walks, eight whiffs). Craig Stammen (1.44/0.92, 5 BB, 27 K) has flashy numbers, and Tyler Clippard (3.32/1.21) has been good, not great, as the eighth-inning bridge. Any of these guys would look like vintage Dennis Eckersley compared to the Roddy Horror Show.

Then again, you can see why any of these arms could be passed over. Burnett has to deal with the anti-closing bias against lefties. Stammen has been super in a heavy-inning role, which could discourage the Nats from moving him to a single-inning job. Clippard has been the dedicated eight-inning bridge for a while, where Johnson likes him. But something needs to be done. The Nats are a winning ballclub, man; they can't live like this.

And to make things as complicated as possible, Washington has two closing candidates on the DL. Brad Lidge (hernia surgery) will attempt a bullpen session this week, and he's hoping to return at some point in mid-June. Drew Storen (elbow) is coming back from elbow surgery and the last timetable discussed was mid-July.

Place your bets, save chasers. Your 8-ball is as good as mine. This could be a matchup thing for a while, or maybe Johnson will let the next successful ninth-inning reliever have a go at keeping the job. All I know is this: I don't want Rodriguez on any of my teams. His goose appears cooked.

• Here's a new nickname for Boston pitcher Clay Buchholz: Even Steven. After his latest mess of a turn (5.1 IP, 6 H, 5 R, 4 BB, 2 K), the struggling right-hander has 27 walks against 27 strikeouts for the year. That doesn't cut it in The Show, kid. (I know, Derek Lowe fans, I know. That correction is coming soon.)

What's keeping the Red Sox from sending Buchholz to the minors for a tune-up? The Triple-A affiliate is less than an hour away, in Pawtucket, Rhode Island; Buchholz could still keep his regular tee-times with Josh Beckett. Is the club afraid of ticking off Buchholz, who has a reputation of being petulant and uncoachable? Does Bobby Valentine see a silver lining in the Buchholz bashings?

The ridiculous part of Buchholz's season is that he's 4-2, fortuitously backed by the best run support in the majors (teammate Felix Doubront is second; poor Ervin Santana is last, followed by Cliff Lee). Buchholz didn't take a decision Monday and the Red Sox won anyway; Boston is 5-4 in his starts. Maybe that's how a 7.84 ERA and 1.91 WHIP keeps you in the rotation. I don't understand it. (But I didn't invent the sandwich wrap, so what do I know?)

I wouldn't even bother with the ongoing Buchholz story if his ownership level would straighten out. Why is he still owned in 36 percent of Yahoo! leagues? We're in the middle of a pitching boom, amigos, and Buchholz (as I've said ad nauseam) plays in the most jagged division in the majors. We're at the quarter pole now; it's time to accept the reality of the new season. You can do better, and you need to do better. Get on the wire.

• What's keeping so many people off the Jed Lowrie story? When will everyone accept that it's not about the name brands, it's about the numbers?

Lowrie had three hits in Monday's romp over Chicago, including his third homer in five games. He also swiped a base. He's now rocking a .288/.365/.492 slash for the year, and he qualifies at both shortstop and third base. He's only owned in 44 percent of Yahoo! leagues, for some reason.

Perhaps Lowrie's address — he plays for an ordinary Houston club — is being held against him. Maybe some owners are leery about Lowrie's injury background. That's a legitimate concern, but let's take these numbers while we can. Since Lowrie came off the DL in the second week of April, he's the No. 10 fantasy shortstop in overall value: ahead of buzzier names like Troy Tulowitzki, Jose Reyes and Dee Gordon. And he'll pass Emilio Bonifacio (injured) soon enough.

If Lowrie can somehow duck the injury bug for the balance of 2012, we're looking at 20-homer potential with a plus average and some bags thrown in. And he's a .960 OPS monster at home. Find some room on your roster, even in shallower formats.

• The National League pitcher I had to give up on recently is Atlanta's Mike Minor. You see that tidy strikeout/walk ratio (48 whiffs, 19 walks) and you want to buy in, but at some point you have to hold gopheritis against a pitcher. Throw too many meatballs and a few are going to wind up in the seats.

The Reds knocked four Minor pitches into the crowd Monday night, including three in a row at one point. Even Mike Leake, the opposing pitcher, got in on the act. That makes 14 homers Minor has allowed over his last five games. You can call it unlucky or unsustainable all you want; I call it unforgivable in a mixed league. Show me the last time this happened to Roy Halladay or Clayton Kershaw. Minor's significantly over-owned at 26 percent; if you can't find a better option, you're not looking hard enough.

• Whatever Felipe Paulino is having for breakfast these days, pour me a bowl of it, too. Paulino used to be the poster child of a high-strikeout arm that couldn't quite command well enough, but he's been on-point through four superb starts for the Royals this year (1.42 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, 29 Ks against 7 BB). And Paulino's list of opponents adds to the validation: he's faced the Yankees twice (Monday's win was at The Stadium), in addition to Baltimore and Chicago.

Here's the scouting tape, you tell me what you see. The Orioles get another crack at Totally Paulino this weekend, this time in Baltimore. Feel like buying in? Paulino is there for the taking in 93 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

Some of the expected luck stats apply to this hot stretch (which is to be expected with any outlier ERA or batting average); Paulino's HR/FB rate is low, and his strand rate is at an unsustainable 90 percent. The BABIP sits at .318, so that's not part of the story. But we're talking about a live arm who many scouts have been intrigued with for a while; it was just a matter of harnessing the stuff. Perhaps Paulino is finally doing that.

Speed Round: The soft rock keeps playing for Tommy Milone, at least when he's by the bay (0.60 ERA, 0.70 WHIP, four wins). He had no real trouble with the Angels on Monday, allowing one run through seven innings. But he's been Mayday Milone on the road: 7.16/1.52, getting hit by the Red Sox, Rays and Rangers. His next turn is at home against the Yankees, an assignment I think he can survive . . . Aroldis Chapman was pulled over for driving 93 mph (must have been a slow gun), and was later found to be operating on a suspended license. Poor judgment, obviously, but it's doubtful the Reds will do much more than slap him on the wrist (if they even go that far) . . . Yu Darvish has just one fear through one-quarter of MLB action: the pitchforks of Seattle. He'll return home on the weekend, up against Toronto . . . You can say almost anything you want with arbitrary endpoints, but stick with me for a second. Alfredo Aceves has really turned his season around. Since the nightmare outing against New York on April 21, this is what the Boston closer has done: 17.1 IP, 5 BB, 18 K, 1.04 ERA, eight saves. That works in any format . . . Open-minded skipper Mike Matheny brought Jason Motte into an eighth-inning jam against San Diego, and while Motte made one bad pitch and immediately suffered a blown save (Jesus Guzman roped a double, scoring the inherited runners), Motte wound up with a victory soon thereafter. Tyler Greene put St. Louis ahead with a two-run homer, running into an Andrew Cashner fastball, and Motte then worked an easy 1-2-3 ninth. Kudos to Matheny for being willing to go against convention; he's not the first manager to ask his closer to work before the ninth, but it's increasingly rare these days . . . LA skipper Don Mattingly must be feeling pretty powerful these days: check out the sketchy lineup he dialed up Monday at Arizona. The nameless and faceless Dodgers took the opener of the series, 6-1, pushing their MLB-best record up to 29-13. Retro star Chris Capuano is a blast to watch, a crafty left-hander who can miss bats despite a fastball in the 80s. Yahoo! Nation has been on this story for a while, pushing Capuano's ownership level up to 78 percent. Hat tip to you, gamers.

Forget "All-Day" or "Purple Jesus." If Adrian Peterson miraculously returns to the field and to All-Pro form September 9 versus Jacksonville, he will simply be known as "Superman."

Approximately six months removed from snapping his ACL and MCL against Washington, Minnesota's supernatural healer is again running, cutting and vaulting up and on top of large leather-bound trunks with few limitations.

Where you at Rashard Mendenhall?

The "Knee Three" — Peterson, Mendenhall and Jamaal Charles — will remain under the microscope as the offseason slowly inches toward the opening of training camps in late July. Each appears to be at a different juncture in their recoveries. JC, who shredded his ACL last September, is 80-percent healthy. Mendenhall, just five months and change removed from his setback, is only jogging lightly. And then there's the alien Peterson. The rusher, whose knee-buckle soured owners' eggnog last Christmas Eve, has overcome incredible odds to get back to basic football activities.

Though his rehab has gone swimmingly thus far, Peterson remains uncertain if he'll report to camp on time. From Josina Anderson:

Adrian Peterson on training camp: "To be honest with you I feel like 50-50. I feel like honestly, sitting here telling you the truth, I'll be able to participate doing certain things. I think I'll be able to participate. I'm going to be all the way honest with you. I feel like I will be able to get out there and you call a run play or whatever, I'll be able to go through practice. That's how I feel. That's my mindset; but I'm going to follow the protocol. Whatever the Vikings and their staff want me to do, then I'm gonna do that; but I'm not going to hinder myself. I'm going to let those guys know how I feel, so if I'm able to get out there and get a couple of reps or whatever, then I'm going to participate in that way. But I'm sure they've got my best interests in hand, so we'll work it out."

AD has always been a quick healer, but even if he is prepared to flatten Jags Week 1, history tells us he's far from a sure thing. Deuce McAllister, Terrell Davis and Jamaal Anderson all experienced a considerable decline in production coming off ACL injuries at a similar age  (27). Still, every comeback is different and Peterson's reclamation up to this point has exceeded everyone's wildest dreams. That combined with the Vikes' retooled offensive line — first-round pick Matt Kalil should do wonders — and emerging passing attack under Christian Ponder point to a banner season for the four-time Pro Bowler. Even slowed he could again exhibit RB1 colors. After all, his 75-percent is better than most rusher's at 100. But, based on Peterson's current 14.5 ADP and the historical record, he's a pick for the iron-stomached.

For the Noise's coin, Trent Richardson and DeMarco Murray are safer selections at roughly the same juncture in drafts.

• Beanie Wells' Oscar Meyer side could again get the best of him. Slowly recovering from January knee surgery, he remains "hopeful" about his prospects of stepping onto the field when Cards training camp opens in two months. There remains no timetable for his return.

Offensively, Arizona, outside Larry Fitzgerald and rookie Michael Floyd, is littered with question marks. John Skelton and Kevin Kolb are in a dead heat according to Ken Whisenhunt, the backfield is an injury-ridden mess and the offensive line, one of the poorest units in the NFC last year, is also in an undetermined state.

Beanie, if healthy, should be the primary rusher entering 2012. His 1,047 rushing yard, 10-TD campaign from a season ago, was unequivocally his finest effort during his rather rocky three-year career. Inconsistent at times previously, he ran with noticeable conviction in '11 while also improving in pass protection, a skill that caused him to cede touches to Tim Hightower a couple years ago. Still, despite his advancements, Wells could see a workload reduction provided Ryan Williams, who is attempting to bounce back from a torn patella tendon, functions in camp without restriction. Assuming no one experiences any setbacks, a 60-40 timeshare could be implemented, meaning Beanie will be more Weenie than Meanie at his current 48.5 ADP (RB22). Reggie Bush, Doug Martin and Roy Helu, RBs going around the same point in early mocks, are more desirable.

• According to a report broken first by the Houston Chronicle's Steph Stradley, Andre Johnson underwent a knee scope in early May. The brittle receiver claims he felt no pain prior to or after the procedure. Gary Kubiak further downplayed the setback, stressing his star wideout could have participated in team activities if necessary, though reports indicate he will miss up to four weeks.

Obviously, given Johnson's history, the news raises a red flag. Lower body injuries have become commonplace for No. 80. No longer a spring chicken at 30 (He'll be 31 in July), he is an enhanced risk at his rather inflated Round 2 price tag (18.3 ADP). Houston, arguably the best running team in the league, is the Arian Foster/Ben Tate show. The Texans averaged 34.1 rush attempts per game a season ago, tops in the NFL. Admittedly, much of that was precipitated by key injuries, but it's also worth noting in seven starts last season, Johnson eclipsed the 100-yard mark once and found the end-zone twice. That combined with Matt Schaub also returning from a major injury, suggest it would be sage to avoid Johnson like the plague.  Roddy White (ADP: 25.6), Hakeem Nicks (27.2) and Brandon Marshall (31.3) are safer selections available some 1-2 rounds later.

Unless you're the thrill-seeking type that relishes gator-wrasslin', free-base jumping and shots of habanera sauce, let someone else deal with the headache.

• Titus Young's cold-cocking of teammate Louis Delmas may be dominating the headlines in Detroit, but, for fantasy purposes, curious owners want to know just who will emerge from the current backfield fray. After all, the Lions' explosive passing offense is an ideal run facilitator.

Jahvid Best continues to progress in his rehabilitation and should be cleared to resume football activities in June. Meanwhile, Mikel Leshoure, still rehabbing his Achilles, expects to be at or near 100-percent when Lions camp opens. If he staves off a possible Goodell-levied suspension stemming from two marijuana charges, he has a great shot of carving out a substantial role this season.

Though the team re-signed Kevin Smith earlier this spring, the hope, according to Lions insiders, is to reinstall the thunder-and-lightning plan they had prior to Leshoure's setback last August. Barring any additional pitfalls, a 50-50 timeshare appears to be in the works with the bulky ex-Illini netting most early down and short-yardage work with Best supplanting him on all passing downs. Presently, both are excellent mid-to-late round grabs (Best: 71.9, Leshoure: 104.5).

• Jonathan Dwyer, who saw little action before a broken foot cut his season short in December, could reprise the Jerome Bettis role in Pittsburgh in short order. As discussed above, Mendenhall is a strong PUP candidate, which could pave the way for a tandem backfield featuring Isaac Redman and Dwyer.

At 5-foot-11, 229-pounds, the Ramblin' Wreck product is a dumpster with feet. His bruising interior style and tackle-shredding abilities are perfect for short-yardage situations. Recall Mendy and Redman combined for 60 red-zone rushing attempts last year, the third-most in the league. It's quite possible Dwyer, who is bouncing back from broken foot suffered in early December, could develop into a low-yardage, high-TD volume, BenJarvus Green-Ellis type RB. And because Mike Tomlin has a fondness for ball control, he could also be deployed as a finisher late in games. Track his progress closely this summer. An impressive camp could propel him to Shocker Special heights.

• Late Monday Tampa agreed to ship Kellen Winslow to Seattle for a conditional pick. Dallas Clark, who hopped aboard the pirate ship earlier in the day, will fill the vacated spot in Western Florida.

The 'Hawks didn't get much out of former Raider Zach Miller last year, but don't anticipate Winslow to immediately overtake the incumbent for targets. More than likely, Pete Carroll is simply copy-catting what New England, among others, have done, by installing a two-TE system to help spur success for Matt Flynn … or Tarvaris Jackson … or Drew Brees-comparison Russell Wilson. Regardless who seizes the reins, Winslow is at best a high-level TE2 in 12-team drafts. Seattle ranked 27th in TE targets last year, and ignored the big men in the red area (no touchdowns).

Meanwhile in the Bay, Clark regains TE1 status. His exploitative abilities against zone coverage combined with Josh Freeman's affection for tight ends — he targeted Winslow 7.6 times per game last year, the third highest amount in the NFL — should vault him back into the position's top-12. Because he hasn't played a full season since 2009, many will question his durability. But with minimal competition and Vincent Jackson/Mike Williams attracting attention, he could be quite good in his new digs. Roughly 75 catches for 850 yards and 5-7 TDs are within reason. Consider him point No. 44 why waiting on a TE might be the savviest move you'll make in 2012.

Want to bull rush Brad? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise and be sure to check him along with Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski on The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio

When there's a Sunday Fantasy Chat based out of Chavez Ravine, the stars come out to play. This should be hotter than "The Merv Griffin Show" in Kramer's apartment. With the Dodgers and Cardinals as our backdrop, it's time to assemble for the greater good.

Fantasy baseball is the main topic for discussion, but the usual diversions of wine, women and song apply. Maybe we'll sneak in a football question, here or there, maybe we'll get philosophical. There's no set path, no set destination.

It's a later start for this week: 7:15 p.m. Pacific Time. When you notice the Dodger fans starting to prematurely head for the exits, that's your queue to come in here.

Make the jump for the chat applet. You've got five hours of tailgating time before we get to work.

Quick, everyone go to your fantasy league's home page, click the "PLAYERS" tab, filter for "All Pitchers" and "Last 14 Days (total)," then sort the results by "Rank."

Done? Great.

There's a decent chance that the name at the top of your list is Bud Norris, the dude pictured above. He ranks as the No. 5 overall player in fantasy over the past two weeks (and the No. 2 pitcher, behind only Justin Verlander). Norris is currently unowned in 49 percent of Yahoo! leagues, so several thousand of you can add him today, in advance of a two-start week. Norris has tossed four straight quality starts for Houston and he's earned wins in each of his last three games. His ERA so far this month is 0.47, his WHIP is 0.84, and he's struck out 21 batters in 19.0 innings.

Norris had a pretty fair season in 2011, too, so the recent hot streak shouldn't come as a huge surprise. If for some reason you care more about his intangibles than his tangibles, here's a delightful Mic'd Up segment with Bud, via MLB.com. Just please make the add before you watch that clip. Norris gets the Cubs on Monday, and there's no reason to think that won't go well.

Make the jump for all the Week 8 two-start pitchers, ranked and tiered...

NATIONAL LEAGUE

You're getting something like the 2001 version of Kerry Wood...

Gio Gonzalez — at PHI (Kendrick), at ATL (Beachy)
Roy Halladay — WAS (Zimmerman), at STL (Wainwright)
Matt Cain — at MIL (Marcum), at MIA (Nolasco)
Brandon Beachy — at CIN (Latos), WAS (Gonzalez)
Madison Bumgarner — at MIL (Wolf), at MIA (Buehrle)
Johan Santana — at PIT (Bedard), SD (Richard)
Matt Garza — at HOU (Norris), at PIT (Bedard)

And this is more like 2004 Kerry Wood...

Bud Norris — CHC (Garza), at LAD (Capuano)
Chris Capuano — at ARI (Corbin), HOU (Norris)
Mark Buehrle — COL (Moyer), SF (Bumgarner)
Jaime Garcia — SD (Richard), PHI (Kendrick)
RA Dickey — at PIT (McDonald), SD (Volquez)
Mat Latos — ATL (Beachy), COL (Moyer)
Erik Bedard — NYM (Santana), CHC (Garza)
Edinson Volquez — at STL (Wainwright), at NYM (Dickey)

And now we're into '05-'06 Wood...

Adam Wainwright — SD (Volquez), PHI (Halladay)
Ricky Nolasco — COL (Nicasio), SF (Cain)
Kyle Kendrick — WAS (Gonzalez), at STL (Garcia)

And these guys are just too dangerous.

Jamie Moyer — at MIA (Buehrle), at CIN (Latos)
Clayton Richard — at STL (Garcia), at NYM (Santana)
Randy Wolf — SF (Bumgarner), at ARI (TBD)
Mike Minor — at CIN (Leake), WAS (Strasburg)
Mike Leake — ATL (Minor), COL (Guthrie)

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Unconditional trust

CJ Wilson — at OAK (McCarthy), at SEA (Noesi)
Felix Hernandez — TEX (Darvish), LAA (Williams)
Yu Darvish — at SEA (Hernandez), TOR (Drabek)

Conditional trust

Hiroki Kuroda — KC (Paulino), at OAK (Milone)
Jeremy Hellickson — TOR (Drabek), at BOS (Buchholz)
Gavin Floyd — MIN (Walters), CLE (Jimenez)

OK, we've reached the end of "trust," and moved to "hope"...

Kyle Drabek — at TB (Hellickson), at TEX (Darvish)
Felipe Paulino — at NYY (Kuroda), at BAL (Chen)
Jerome Williams — at OAK (Milone), at SEA (Hernandez)
Tommy Milone — LAA (Williams), NYY (Kuroda)

...and now we're all out of hope.

Tommy Hunter — BOS (Buchholz), KC (Hochevar)
Clay Buchholz — at BAL (Hunter), TB (Hellickson)
Ubaldo Jimenez — DET (Porcello), at CHW (Floyd)
Rick Porcello — at CLE (Jimenez), at MIN (Walters)
Hector Noesi — TEX (Harrison), LAA (Wilson)
Luke Hochevar — at NYY (Hughes), at BAL (Hunter)
PJ Walters — at CHW (Floyd), DET (Porcello)

• Jordan Walden is one player I'd completely walk away from in any mixed league, as I don't anticipate him getting the closing gig back. First and foremost we have to consider how quickly the Angels demoted him from the post — perhaps Walden's 10 blown saves from 2011 left a mark — but the bigger problem for Walden is that his teammates are a lot better than him, at least through the opening quarter of the season.

Jered Weaver cruised through seven San Diego innings Friday (3 H, 2 R, 3 BB, 4 K), then handed the ball to his capable bullpen. Scott Downs worked a perfect eighth (1K, just 12 pitches) and Ernesto Frieri locked up (1BB, 2 K). A stress-free night for Mike Scioscia, especially after the Angels scored three ninth-inning runs to extend the margin (and negate any possible save).

Is there any significance to Downs pitching ahead of Frieri in what was, at the time, a close game? Or was it was a matter of matchups, with Will Venable (lefty, earlier homer) and Chase Headley (better as a lefty) due up first and third in the eighth? The order of pitchers isn't always a flashing red light for us to consider, but I get the idea Frieri has become trustable to the point that he might be sharing the save assignments soon.

The stats back up both of these pitchers. Downs hasn't allowed a run over 12 innings (8 H, 2 BB, 7 K), and Frieri's combined time between the Angels and Padres has been electric (17.1 IP, 9 H, 3 ER, 8 BB, 30 K). It's an interesting contrast between the two — Downs is the control lefty who pitches to a lot of contact, while Frieri is a fireballing righty who piles up the strikeouts but occasionally comes into problems with walks. I wouldn't be surprised if they both get past double-digit saves from here on out, with Scioscia free to play the matchups (something he seems prepared to do). Either way, they're doing a good job blocking Walden from any fantasy relevance.

• A few readers were asking about Adam Wainwright in the previous edition, so let's take up the case here. I'm still in on Wainwright, all the way in. His K/BB rate sits at 2.5 (more than acceptable) and he's inducing ground balls 55.6 percent of the time. His biggest problems have been sequencing (63.6 strand rate) and the gopher ball (21.9 HR/FB). Even if you want to tax Wainwright somewhat for the misplaced fastballs or rolling curves that have left the park, that clip has no shot at continuing.

And then there's the schedule, which opens up nicely next week (home starts against the Padres, who can't hit, and the Phillies, who scare no one in 2012). Other than facing Roy Halladay (projected) in the second turn, that's a nice setup for Wainwright. This might be your last chance to get him at a collapsed price. Not only am I not concerned here, but I heartily encourage you to investigate possible Wainwright trades. A slow start from a pitcher off Tommy John surgery comes as no great surprise, and I've always admired Wainwright's work ethic and competitiveness. Expect a turnaround.

• From a human standpoint, the only story that matters from Friday's matinee at Wrigley is the Kerry Wood farewell. What a perfect final scene for Wood: a three-pitch strikeout, an emotional sendoff from the home fans, and then best of all, a run-up hug from his son, Justin. You couldn't script it much better than that. Here's your must-see video; be sure to stick with it until the end.

History probably won't remember the White Sox actually won Friday's game, but rotoheads have to pick through it and see what we can learn. Robin Ventura enjoyed eight scoreless outs from his bullpen, with Matt Thornton relieving in the seventh (and vulturing Phil Humber's win), underrated Nate Jones handling the eighth and Addison Reed wrapping the ninth. Dare I say it, we might just have some definition in the South Side bullpen, with Reed taking the closing job and running with it. It's encouraging that Ventura and Don Cooper didn't bury the rookie after the six-run mess against Detroit last weekend.

• I don't see any great reason to write a book about the Justin Verlander one-hitter (2 BB, 12 K, 109 pitches). He's the American League's best pitcher and a threat to no-no anyone, and the Pirates have been the worst offensive club in the majors, by far, in 2012. We haven't learned anything new. If you had to predict a no-hitter on the schedule ahead of time, this might have been the game you selected; if there's one pitcher who could throw a below-the-fold no-hitter in 2012, it's Verlander. One random takeaway from Josh Harrison's hit that spoiled the party — why didn't Jhonny Peralta dive on the play? I'll never understand you, Jhonnycakes.

Delmon Young had a double, homer and three RBIs for the Tigers, pushing his average up to .235. Maybe he's ready to start producing on a regular basis. Jim Leyland has the patience of a saint; he keeps running Young out in the No. 5 slot, working after Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder. Run-producing opportunities will be there. For all the obvious fleas in Young's game, he did clock 13 homers in 202 Detroit at-bats (playoffs included) after joining the club late in 2011.

• On the subject of bullpen sequencing, let's make a note of what the Mets did in their Thursday win at Cincinnati: slumping Jon Rauch took the seventh inning, with Bobby Parnell working the eighth. Parnell's ERA is significantly lower than Rauch's (2.00 against 4.32), and he can also point to a tidy 18 strikeouts against three walks. If you have a need to hedge against Frank Francisco these days, Parnell is probably the guy.

• The Jays were rude hosts in the YYZ, crushing five homers and spanking the Mets, 14-5. So much for the Jonathon Niese new-nose bandwagon. The buzzy names in the Toronto lineup were absent from the power show: J.P Arencibia found the seats twice, Rajai Davis also hit a pair, and Yan Gomes added a fifth.

The power is completely out of character for Davis, but he's nonetheless an interesting mixed-league player to consider now that Adam Lind is out of the mix (and Brett Lawrie is on temporary holiday). Davis is one of those high-volume rabbits who will try to steal almost every time he reaches base (he has six steals this year in very limited time), and the flexible Toronto roster plays to his advantage — if John Farrell wants Davis in the lineup, the movable legos will allow it. Davis has picked up four starts over the last week, scoring four times and swiping three bases. He's currently unowned in 97 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• When Yadier Molina graduated to full-appreciation status, Carlos Ruiz probably inherited his slot as the NL's most underrated catcher. Alas, the way Ruiz is hitting, his cover might be just about blown, too. Ruiz is off to a crazy .371 push through the opening quarter, with 20 runs, seven homers, 29 RBIs and even a couple of steals. Heck, I wish my corner infielders would hit like this.

Ruiz is 100 points over his career average, so obviously some regression is on the way, but the under-the-hood stats don't spit on his blistering start. A .360 BABIP is lucky but it's not insanely lucky, and some of the batting gains have come from a career-best line-drive rate and a push forward in his ground-ball rate. The homers are the biggest fluke to this profile: I'd be shocked if he got to 20 by season's end, given that he's never had more than nine in a season. But Ruiz is a rare backstop who can handle the six-month grind of the position: his career OPS is 83 points higher in the second half. Keep chugging along, Chooch.

Today's Opening Time is a think piece about a mid-level pitcher struggling with his own limitations (and his club's limitations) in the harsh face of stardom. It's in consideration for the front page, but don't tell the Pirates.

Roto Theory has grown up significantly through the years, but sometimes the best rules are the ones you've held from the early days.

Draft hitting early, figure out pitching later. That's been the basic maxim I've been working off for two decades. It's not complicated, maybe it's not marketing-friendly, but it seems to fit the shape of the assignment. Hitting is the more reliable part of the game, while pitching is an unnatural act with a ton of moving parts; mound stars can go down at any reason, and fresh faces emerge at all times.

James McDonald, come on down. It's all happening. Enjoy your membership privileges in the Circle of Trust.

McDonald's incendiary stuff was on full display in his Thursday turn at Washington. He had a no-hitter and 10 strikeouts through five innings before running out of gas in the sixth; the Nats eventually knocked McDonald out with four hits and three runs in that inning. But McDonald still emerged with his third victory and a fantasy line that anyone will happily accept (5.2 IP, 4 H, 3 R, 1 BB, 11 K). Pop in the demo and see what you make of it.

The Pittsburgh righty now has a 2.68 ERA and 1.01 WHIP for the year, and 50 strikeouts over 50.1 innings. He's keeping the ball in the park (just two homers allowed) and he's trimmed his walk rate significantly (down to 2.86, one walk lower than his career norm). His fastball, slider and curve all grade out as plus pitches for him this year, and he's even nudged his ground-ball rate into a career-best area. This is what an Age-27 breakout season looks like, and yet somehow McDonald is only rostered in 41 percent of Yahoo! leagues. The small-market screen is alive and well.

There's no reason to be snobbish when you're hunting for players — the game is about numbers, not names. And there's no reason to sit on your hands and wait for more proof; in a competitive mixed league, that strategy turns you into dead money, a dinosaur. You gotta take what you can, when you can, while you can. … and you gotta do it now.

McDonald currently grades out as the No. 14 starting pitcher in the Yahoo! game. His career follows a somewhat-linear pattern, if that comforts you; last year he finally had a full season to prove he belonged in the rotation, and this year he's taking things up a notch. PNC Park is a friendly place for a pitcher to work, and there are plenty of weak spots to exploit in this division and in the NL as a whole.

If McDonald is long gone in your league, perhaps you can land him in a trade. Here are some of the more-established names that I like less than McDonald right now: Josh Beckett (83 percent, you know the drill), Chad Billingsley (68 percent, upside is gone now), Ubaldo Jimenez (65 percent? are you shaving points?), Hiroki Kuroda (63 percent, wrong league and division), and Brandon McCarthy (57 percent; won't be a dominant strikeout guy and he's had trouble staying healthy in the past). I know Brandon Morrow's strikeout potential is hard to turn away from, but isn't McDonald a safer play in his cushy environment? There are several others; we can discuss in the comments.

According to the fact checker, McDonald will get the Mets, Reds, Brewers and Royals over his next four turns (assuming no rainouts or rotation tweaks). Sounds like a tour worth spending on. It's too late to be in the front row for this show, but good seating remains available.

• In with the new phenom, out with the old one. I'll openly admit I'm a little sad to see Kerry Wood is apparently preparing to retire; the Associated Press reports he's going to call it a career after pitching one more time. He'll at least go out on an appropriate stage, with the Cubs facing the White Sox this weekend in interleague play at Wrigley Field.

Wood's 20-strikeout gem from 1998, at age 20, remains the finest game I've ever seen from someone who didn't throw a no-hitter. Filthy fastball, slider and curve, Wiffle Ball stuff. "We were trying to win the game," Houston manager Larry Dierker said after the 2-0 loss. "It's just that we couldn't hit the ball." No one had a chance against Wood that day.

I suppose Wood and Mark Prior will go down as the poster boys for how to mishandle young pitchers; Dusty Baker rode these guys into the ground early in their careers and there was a price to be paid later. Hopefully the industry has learned a thing or two over the last decade, lessons that will be applied to the fresh arms that come into the game. Mind you, there isn't always a fall guy or assignable blame when a pitcher gets hurt. Again, it's an unnatural act. Pitchers with smooth mechanics and modest workloads get hurt sometimes, too.

Wood's career had a nifty final act in the bullpen; he was shifted to closer in 2008 and turned in a dazzling 34-save campaign that year (along with 84 strikeouts in 66.1 innings). The Yahoo! Fantasy Staff had an up-close view of Wood during one June evening in San Diego; our group was sitting just a few rows from the Chicago bullpen, so we got to see Wood warm up (mitt popping on every pitch), slowly walk to the Petco mound, dominate to another handshake. I vaguely remember one clown belting out a few bars of Closing Time when the relief signal was made. (Okay, that was me.)

Good luck in your next project, big guy. Maybe you didn't have the electric career we all were hoping for back in the late 90s, but the good times are frozen in the scrapbook. We're going to remember Kerry Wood smoking heat past the Houston Astros on a lazy Chicago afternoon. (And we're going to remember Wood's final scene, a three-pitch strikeout of Dayan Viciedo on a lazy Chicago afternoon. If you didn't love today's perfect Wrigley sendoff, you don't have a heart.)

• Roy Oswalt is another 34-year-old righty in the twilight of his career, but he's not quite ready to go gently into that good night. According to Ken Rosenthal, Oswalt has recently thrown bullpen sessions for the Phillies and Red Sox, and the veteran is slated to audition for two more clubs in the next few days. Rosenthal feels there could be a signing in the next week.

Oswalt's potential fantasy value is a location-driven story, of course. I wouldn't touch him in Fenway Park, for obvious reasons, but I'd love him with almost any NL contender, should he find a possible suitor. Oswalt had a 3.69 ERA and 1.34 WHIP for the Phillies last year — that at least makes him streamable — and he was dynamite after his trade to Philadelphia in 2010. Keep an open mind here. (Also keep in mind that it could be several weeks before Oswalt throws a real pitch for anyone, no matter how quickly he signs.)

• The Padres had a wheel play in motion Thursday, as they completely turned over their middle infield. Orlando Hudson is gone altogether — designated for assignment — while Jason Bartlett (knee) landed on the disabled list. I'm not really interested in Alexi Amarista, the new second baseman, but shortstop Everth Cabrera brings an intriguing case.

I understand why Yahoo! nation isn't jumping on the Cabrera story right away — his ownership tag is still at Blutarski level, and he didn't do anything in his debut (0-for-3). And if Cabrera doesn't move up in the order — he batted seventh Thursday — it might be hard for him to do a lot of running for an NL club. But the plus angle for Cabrera is simple enough: he showed us decent wheels back with the Padres in 2009 (25 steals in 103 games) and he was off to a superb start in Triple-A this year (.333 average, 15-for-15 on the bases). He's still just 25. Keep an eye on him this weekend, see if the rabbit runs anywhere.

As for Hudson, while his mixed-league value is probably tanked for good, he could turn into an intriguing mono-league play if he lands in the right spot. Compared to the jokers that Detroit is currently using at second base, Hudson would look like Joe Morgan, circa 1976. Get on the phone, Mike Illitch. Your infield desperately needs someone who can handle the leather (Hudson's no longer a defensive star, but he's still capable in the field. And just about everyone in Detroit is tired of the Ryan Raburn nightmare. If Lester Bangs is looking down at this mess, he's having a good laugh.)

Speed Round: Is Colorado cornerman Jordan Pacheco a possible late bloomer in the thin air? He had an electric 17 games with Triple-A Colorado Springs (.433/.479/.627), prompting a callup, and he's collected four hits (one homer, one double) and three RBIs over the last three games. Everyone knows that Nolan Arenado will eventually be the Rockies third baseman, but he hasn't been anything special in Double-A this year (note the .423 slugging) - it looks like more development time is needed. Pacheco is currently zero-percent owned in Yahoo!, but I'll kick the tires on him at home against the Mariners this weekend. … Although Brennan Boesch is starting to hit lasers again, he might not get his No. 2 slot back from Andy Dirks. Both players homered in Thursday's loss to Minnesota. … Adam Lind was sent to Triple-A, surprising no one. An outright release would have been justified, too. … The Cardinals were whistling a positive tune about Allen Craig a day ago, but now it looks like he'll probably need a DL stint while his hamstring injury heals. An absolute shame, because he has major breakout written all over him. … Kevin Youkilis might hobble back to the Red Sox early next week, perhaps Tuesday. Will Middlebrooks has slowed down considerably over the last week, but maybe he'll show something in Philly that keeps him in the mix. … A one-game suspension for Balking Bob Davison? Okay, that's a step in the right direction. You're not the show, blue. Get it together, man.

Another week, another shuffle. Today's assignment is the outfield. You won't find Miguel Cabrera, Cliff Lee or Fernando Rodney on this list: those cats aren't outfielders. And this list does not include players currently on the DL; because injured played have largely-relative values, I don't see the point of ranking them in this exercise. Do what you like. Slot them however you feel comfortable. Pretend Carl Crawford is the cure to all that ails you.

Here's how the shuffle process goes down this year. First, I rank the position in question, from scratch. I don't look at preseason ranks, I don't look at last month's ranks — those collections are dead to me. All I'm trying to do is figure out how I arrange the commodities from today-forward. (Don't obsess over the specific dollar amounts, all that matters is how the players relate to one another. Assume a 5x5 roto scoring system.)

Then, I take some distance from the ranks. A good meal, maybe a burrito and a margarita or two. You don't want to be too close to the first draft. Finally, I come back from dinner, tweak a ranking or two, add some comments, and interact with you fine folks.

Sound good? Bueno. Make the jump, and let's try to figure out this made-up world of stats, together. (Off to the cantina. Back shortly.) 

$32 Josh Hamilton
$31 Ryan Braun
$30 Curtis Granderson
$29 Carlos Gonzalez
$28 Adam Jones
$28 Jose Bautista
$25 Justin Upton
$24 Jay Bruce
$23 Andrew McCutchen
$23 Carlos Beltran
$23 Hunter Pence

If you want to go Ryan Braun over Josh Hamilton, I'm not going to wrestle with you. But there are a few basic reasons why I'd take Hamilton first: he's in a better park and a much better lineup, and the replacement value is very high in the outfield if Hamilton happens to fall into an injury. I realize that contract-year motivation has not been validated in statistical studies (the best you'll get from the numbers is that a small correlation might apply), but I think you have to take it on a case-by-case basis. It's not hard to build an argument that suggests this might be the most focused time of Hamilton's life, with his next contract on the line.

I've taken plenty of shots at the Orioles over the years and I pegged them to land significantly under their over/under total; I was about as wrong on this club as you could be (and yes, I think this is a decent ballclub going forward — I've accepted it). And while I thought I had Adam Jones ranked in a fair area before the year, I didn't land him on any teams before the season, so I guess I didn't go far enough. His HR/FB rate is obviously in a lofty area (you can't have a homer spike without it), but I like seeing a raise in his fly-ball rate at the same time. His contact rate has nudged forward, and strikeouts are down. And after a few years of ordinary steal numbers, it's encouraging to see Jones amping up his efforts there as well.

I really don't have a good feel on where to slot Carlos Beltran. If he can stay on the field for 135 games or so, he's easily a mid-20s player, the skills are still there. But we're talking about a 35-year-old with a body that's been through a lot. At least we saw him pinch-hit Thursday, a promising sign; it takes a backdated DL stint off the table, but it also suggests the Cardinals might not be that worried about him.

$22 Giancarlo Stanton
$22 Andre Ethier
$22 Matt Holliday
$22 Nelson Cruz
$21 Shane Victorino
$20 Michael Cuddyer
$20 Michael Bourn
$20 Jason Heyward
$19 Ben Zobrist
$19 Austin Jackson
$19 Allen Craig
$18 Bryan LaHair
$18 Josh Willingham
$18 B.J. Upton
$17 Melky Cabrera
$17 Corey Hart
$17 Josh Reddick
$17 Lance Berkman

Giancarlo Stanton's power has rebounded nicely in May (seven homers, .742 slugging), and although most of the damage has come on the road, it's too soon to draw any hard conclusions about Miami's new fish tank. The ongoing concerns with Stanton's knee are the reason I don't have him slotted higher. … I'm not worried at all about Allen Craig finding a slot to play. He doesn't really have the defensive chops for center field or second base, but he can play any infield or outfield former without major incident. I'm in love with his offensive potential, as I think most of us are. … A lot of people mocked the Giants for buying high on Melky Cabrera (and selling low on Jonathan Sanchez), but as we approach the quarter pole, it looks like the right move was made. The Melkman didn't grade out as a strong center fielder in Kansas City, but he's been a decent fit in San Francisco's left field. Sanchez is currently on the DL for the Royals, on the heels of six terrible starts (6.75 ERA, 1.86 WHIP).

$16 Mark Trumbo
$16 Nick Swisher
$16 Howie Kendrick
$15 Matt Joyce
$15 Angel Pagan
$15 Alex Gordon
$15 Cameron Maybin
$15 Mike Trout
$14 Nick Markakis
$13 Drew Stubbs
$13 Martin Prado
$13 Ichiro Suzuki
$13 Shin-Soo Choo
$13 Emilio Bonifacio
$12 Alejandro De Aza
$12 Luke Scott
$12 Jordan Schafer
$11 Lucas Duda
$11 Andy Dirks
$11 Bryce Harper
$10 Carlos Lee

As ugly as Cameron Maybin's season has been to this point, at least he's still producing in some areas — he's on pace for 46 steals and 87 runs. There's also been a significant spike to his walk rate, something you especially like to see with a player who gets a lot of his value through stealing bases. Buy Low fantasy advice can often be grounded in pipe dreams and made-up scenarios, where a writer suggests you go out and get a popular commodity who really isn't on the discount shelf. In the case of Maybin, I strongly suggest you might be able to land him away from an owner at a significant discount; one size never fits all with this sort of advice, but I'd at least look into it. … If we're talking about long-term potential, I'd go with Bryce Harper over Mike Trout, but the Anaheim kid gets a clear nod when it comes to 2012-only. Although Trout is just 14 months older than Harper, he's played in 157 more minor-league games (not to mention 39 more games in the majors). That edge in experience is significant when we're talking about players as young as these kids are.

I'd like to see the Andy Dirks story last, and anyone in that No. 2 slot in Detroit has the potential to be a nifty fantasy value. Just keep in mind Dirks wasn't anything special over 219 at-bats last year (.251/.296/.406), and he was never a buzzy prospect in the minors (.292/.351/.430). His upside is probably something similar to what Brennan Boesch did last year before the thumb injury, a very ownable fantasy line but in a "back of the outfield" sort of way. We're still early in Dirks's MLB career, but it's interesting to note that he's showing a reverse platoon split to this point: .917 OPS against lefties, .778 OPS against righties. That's not the worst thing in the world: improvement against right-handers shouldn't be a problem, and he's not at risk of falling into a time-share, unless the Tigers completely misread the numbers.

$8 Jason Kubel
$8 Raul Ibanez
$8 Torii Hunter
$8 Kendrys Morales
$7 Alex Rios
$6 Brennan Boesch
$6 Yonder Alonso
$5 Logan Morrison
$5 J.D. Martinez
$5 Jeff Francoeur
$4 Dexter Fowler
$4 Delmon Young
$4 Vernon Wells
$4 Jarrod Dyson
$4 Jose Tabata
$4 Andres Torres
$3 Cody Ross
$3 Mitch Moreland
$3 Tony Campana
$3 Michael Brantley
$3 Alfonso Soriano
$3 Dayan Viciedo
$3 Brandon Belt

I've long been an appreciator of Raul Ibanez's class and work-ethic, and he was a helluva fantasy commodity for most of his 30s (not to mention the inspiration for the Ibanez All-Stars, the idea that boring veterans are often strong fantasy values). Most of his production this year is coming at home and against right-handed pitching, and that's okay — when splits land in reliable areas like this, you can take advantage in leagues that offer daily moves. For more Ibanez propaganda, please check in with my esteemed colleague Brad Evans.

Brandon Belt really deserves a shot to play every day, but Bruce Bochy is steering the kid away from left-handed pitching. And I suppose Bochy might feel justified, given that Belt hasn't been a monster against the northpaws so far, either. But if you want the best results from your young and talented players, you have to give them a chance to get on the field, make mistakes, grow. It's hard to imagine Belt getting a fair shake under the current regime in San Francisco. I recognize most of this paragraph is stuff most of you know already, but it's no less frustrating to watch. And I say all of this as someone who's not a Giants fan or a Belt owner; I'm just someone who likes to see logic, and justice, win out in the end.

I'm curious to see if the Jarrod Dyson story goes anywhere. We know he's capable of a silly number of stolen bases, it's just a matter of making contact and getting on base a reasonable amount of the time. And Dyson at least has some time to breathe and get comfortable, given the Lorenzo Cain's recent setbacks. The batting slot for a rabbit is less important in the American League than it is in the National League — in the NL, hitting eighth can be a death sentence for a steals guy; you don't want to run in front of the bunting pitcher — but that to the side, Dyson's owners definitely want him taking ownership of that leadoff slot. So far, so good (.355 OPB, 17 runs in 20 games).

$2 Kirk Nieuwenhuis
$2 Gerardo Parra
$2 Juan Pierre
$2 Michael Saunders
$2 Gregor Blanco
$2 Ty Wigginton
$2 Ryan Sweeney
$2 David DeJesus
$2 Colby Rasmus
$1 Jonny Gomes
$1 Brian Bogusevic
$1 Denard Span
$1 Will Venable
$1 David Murphy
$1 Eric Thames
$1 Roger Bernadina
$1 Rick Ankiel
$1 Mike Carp
$0 Tyler Colvin
$0 Rajai Davis
$0 Seth Smith
$0 Tyler Greene
$0 Nate Schierholtz
$0 Jesus Guzman
$0 Garrett Jones
$0 Daniel Nava
$0 Bobby Abreu
$0 Johnny Damon

I'm not someone who looks too far back with the shuffling exercise — any rank that's multiple weeks old is just about dead to me — but I know many of you want the look-back links, so here they are. I'll keep them parked at the bottom of future shuffles. And following the established cycle, we'll revisit starting pitchers (always the most important assignment of the shuffling month) next week.

Previous Shuffles: Catchers (5/14), Middles (5/10), Corners (5/4), Starting Pitchers (4/27).

Before his season was derailed by a fractured foot last December, DeMarco Murray was one of fantasy football's rising stars. Incumbent Felix Jones, presumably constructed from tissue paper and held together by Scotch tape, again failed to deliver meaningful numbers due to physical setbacks, thrusting the rookie into the spotlight. Though he crossed the chalk only once in seven starts, Murray racked up an impressive 104.5 total yards per game and 5.4 yards per touch as the primary rusher, quickly developing into a reliable RB2 in 12-teamers. He also ranked ninth in yards after contact per attempt among qualified rushers, an excellent indicator of his physicality and game-breaking abilities.

This offseason, followers have clogged the Noise's Twitter log with questions about Murray's status and perceived draft day value. Earlier this week, fanatics finally received some clarity. The Cowboy is officially back in the saddle. From the Dallas Morning News:

Cowboys running back DeMarco Murray said Monday that the ankle injury that prematurely ended his standout rookie season has healed and he has been cleared by team doctors.

"It's great," Murray told ESPN's SportsCenter. "I've been officially cleared by our doctors and I've been doing everything the past month or two without any limitations. I feel great."

Assuming he enters camp at full speed, Murray will be the 'Boys' undisputed lead dog this season. Because he's an explosive open-field runner with plus hands and has very little competition, he could net close to 300 total touches, making him a high-end RB2 in almost any format. His current Round 2 price point (14.8 ADP) is accurate.

The Dallas offensive line is a work in progress, but Big D's potent passing attack should greatly enhance the ground game's overall execution. At this point, consider Murray a borderline top-10 back who could easily join the position's elites with a full, healthy season.

• Lucifer Shanahan is once again up to his rascally ways. Posterboy for mediocrity, Tim Hightower, recently re-signed with the 'Skins and, according to insiders, is a strong candidate to retake the starting job, a shocking revelation when considering how well Roy Helu and Evan Royster performed in featured roles down the stretch last year.

What else is new? It would be an atypical season without Shanahanigans.

Attempting to sort through the mud, Helu is the more desirable fantasy back and is worth the moderate risk based on his current low-50s ADP. In five starts last year, he averaged 15.3 fantasy points per game, which ranked well inside the RB top-10 during that stretch. His outstanding versatility, tenacity between the tackles and first-cut burst fit ideally in Washington's zone-blocking scheme. Hightower may have the inside track, but Helu's talents could supersede the veteran in training camp. He's simply too good to be deployed as a complementary rusher.

But in Lucifer's devilish world little makes sense.

Through his beady rat eyes, Shanny views Hightower as a complete back who's downhill style is a perfect system-fit. Most importantly, Timmy is a blitz annihilator, a key characteristic with rookie Robert Griffin III at the helm.

For now, this is a largely indecipherable situation. Whoever emerges from the fray should hold substantial value. My bet on the roulette wheel, for now, stays on Red 29 (Helu).

• PPR players, be sure to circle/highlight/scrawl in blood rookie Ronnie Hillman on your cheat sheets later this summer. The Micro Machine, best known for his sensational hands and shiftiness in space, could become an unheralded FLEX producer in short order. John Elway is rather smitten by him. From NFL.com:

At first blush, Hillman isn't your typical John Fox back. He doesn't project as a bruiser between the tackles, but his ability to catch the ball -- and his blazing speed -- drew an interesting comparison Tuesday.

"To be able to have a weapon like Ronnie Hillman, he's a lot like a (Darren) Sproles," John Elway told Broncos season-ticket holders. "You can get great matchups ... (a) great change-of-pace back. … "He's electric. He's got a chance to make that big play."

In two recent expert mocks yours truly snagged the dark-horse both times in Round 9 of 14-team drafts. His situation is quite favorable. Willis McGahee entered the league when leather helmets were all the rage. Knowshon Moreno is a likely PUP candidate. And Peyton Manning, provided his neck doesn't shatter into a million pieces on first contact, should greatly bolster a Denver offense that was wildly erratic under Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow last year. If Hillman wows in training camp, he could quickly develop into a reliable RB2 in PPR formats and eventually graduate from the FLEX ranks in standard formats. Roughly 50 catches, 1,100 total yards and 4-6 TDs are possible.

• Owners purposely ignoring Jamaal Charles after he shredded his ACL in Detroit last year, be warned. The running back, who is currently operating at about 80-percent capacity, is fully prepared to unleash hell on opponents. From Bill Williamson:

"When I touch that field again, you're going to feel my pain," Charles told the Kansas City Star. "You're going to go through what I went through. It's going to be that way for me the rest of my career. …"

"If you're worrying about me not being the same, just look out for me this year," Charles told the Star. "I'm hungry. I want it this year. I've got the passion for it. I just can't wait to play football. I can't wait to bring stuff back to this community and show them how much we can win. I feel like this is a year for us that we can go all the way. I'm saying that because I feel it in me that I can bring a lot to the team this year, being bigger, stronger and maybe even faster."

The Chiefs' first full-squad practice is May 21, for which Charles must be cleared by Dr. James Andrews, his surgeon, before he can participate. But Charles said he feels he's prepared to practice.

"I feel I'm at the point where I can do that," Charles told the newspaper. "I feel I can do the same thing my teammates do. I do it without the coaches around. I catch the ball, I cut, I do a lot of drills and I've been doing this for two months."

The environment around Charles has changed since he last took the field. Romeo Crennel is now calling the shots and Peyton Hillis replaced Thomas Jones as his backfield tag-team partner. Though the former Browns bullmoose will likely dominate short-yardage/goal-line carries, the JC of KC is still poised to turn a significant profit at his current 19.3 ADP, particularly in PPR formats. The man is motivated, supercharged and destined to be the primary option in a largely conservative, ball-control offense. And don't worry about the TDs. Keep in mind nearly half of his 19 career end-zone plunges were scored on runs of 30-plus yards. And when pressed into a similar timeshare two seasons ago, he finished as the No. 4 RB overall in Yahoo! leagues.

Feel the pain.

• Kenny Britt's recovery suffered a setback earlier this week. The Titans receiver, who shredded his ACL last September, underwent a "minor" procedure to help alleviate swelling. The news sounds deflating, but the wideout was running close to full speed prior to the second surgery. He remains "confident" he will be available Week 1.

No doubt, Britt will slide in drafts due to the risks involved. Owner worries are understandable. But the profit potential is so great, he shouldn't fall beyond Round 5 or 6 in 12-team drafts. In early mocks, he's gone around pick No. 54 (WR21). Regardless if it's Matt Hasselbeck or Jake Locker under center for Mike Munchak's squad, Britt should thrive, provided he doesn't experience additional sidesteps. Remember prior to being carted off in Jacksonville Week 3, he was second only to Calvin Johnson in per game output, averaging a ridiculous 15.6 points. He's arguably the finest risk/reward receiver in fantasy this season.

• Former first-round pick Darren McFadden is functioning without limitations in offseason workouts. The fragile RB, who was cut down by a mysterious foot injury last October, is, according to new head honcho Dennis Allen, running and cutting at full-speed. Though he's comprised mostly of porcelain, the breakable back will enter the season as the Raiders' chief ball carrier.

McFadden and fellow Golden State rusher Ryan Mathews are cut from the same cloth. Both aren't exactly durable, but, if dipped in titanium, they are very capable of finishing inside the position's top-five. Even though the Raiders are under new management, they will likely be a conservative, run-heavy team. The offensive line is one of the most underrated units in the league. With Michael Bush now taking reps for the Bears, Run DMC has a great shot at going platinum. His 15.3 per game mark in seven starts ranked eighth among RBs, one spot behind Adrian Peterson. However, if you decide to take the plunge in the late-first (9.8 ADP), be damn sure to lock up Carolina castoff Mike Goodson late.

Want to bull rush Brad? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise and be sure to check him along with Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski on The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio

The AL East narrative is something I talk about often in this space, the idea that it's very dangerous to try to make a mixed-league living with pitchers in this division. Four of the five parks in the group are friendly with runs and/or homers, and there are some loaded bats with these teams besides.

But every so often you need to go to the numbers and make sure everything is calibrated properly, verify the compass is set right. That's today's assignment. And as it turns out, the narrative holds; the division is as dangerous as ever. The crooked number is alive and well in the big-boy division.

You won't find the AL East represented at the very top of the runs board (that's where Texas sits), and the Cardinals currently are second in the majors in scoring (it will be interesting if they can stick there as injuries keep hammering them). But once those two clubs are out of the way, the east-coast bias starts kicking in.

Boston is tied for third in the majors, sitting at 200 runs; if the Red Sox sputter out in 2012, it won't be on account of the bats. The Orioles and Yankees (177 runs) are tied for fifth, followed by the Blue Jays (175 runs, eighth) and Rays (171 runs, ninth). There's no easy mark in this group, no day off, no matchup to exploit. All five teams are in the Top 8 in homers as well, with Baltimore (60 home runs) and New York (58 John Sterling monologues) showing the way.

Don't be tripped up by antiquated ways of evaluating offense as you look at team stats. The Jays are 24th in batting average, but so what? The name of the game is crossing home plate. Tampa Bay (16th) and Baltimore (14th) also lag in average, but it doesn't matter.

Speed can also be an overrated commodity, especially in the slow-pitch softball league. The Orioles are the worst stolen-base team in the majors, both in bags swiped (11) and success rate (50 percent). Big deal, they're still putting up crooked numbers. Boston isn't much better, sitting 13-for-23. But the entire division grades out well if you look at on-base percentage, slugging percentage, or (naturally) OPS. Get on base regularly, and knock the ball far when you do make contact — that's what moves the needle.

If you're looking for offenses to pick on, the usual rules of thumb apply. Ten of the 15 teams at the bottom of the runs page are NL clubs. Pitching-friendly parks still do the trick: the Padres are 29th in scoring, the Athletics 27th, the Giants 26th. We talked about the Pirates early in the year as a cushy matchup and that hasn't changed; they're dead last in scoring. Minnesota is another soft spot that's been documented; despite an 11-run explosion in Detroit on Wednesday, the Twins are still the worst-scoring club in the AL. Minnesota welcomed Justin Morneau back to the lineup this week, but it's offset by Ryan Doumit's calf strain (though Doumit might not need a DL stint, as initially feared).

Some star pitchers are going to be able to beat the AL East environment; they're simply too talented. It would be foolish to try to talk fantasy owners out of CC Sabathia, David Price or James Shields. All my Boston pessimism to the side, Jon Lester is a solid fantasy play, even if he might fall short of his national reputation. There will be others who run uphill and still come out ahead.

But can someone like Brandon Morrow handle the rough-and-tumble division? His splits thus far show a clean break: he's 4-0 outside the division and 0-2 inside the pool; he's allowed 16 runs in the AL East (11 earned) as opposed to four runs (two earned) in the easier draws. Morrow's K/BB ratio is 13/8 against the big kids, and 33/8 against everyone else.

Morrow should be fine against the Mets in his next start, but then he draws the Rangers (in Arlington), Orioles and Red Sox. Do you feel confident he can handle that type of schedule? I'd sell high on the pretty numbers while they're still there.

If you want the 180-degree opposite of Morrow, take a look at Tommy Milone in Oakland. While Morrow is a hard-throwing righty who makes scouts drool, Milone is a soft-serving lefty who does surgery in the 80s. Morrow has to dodge a bunch of risky parks, while Milone enjoys the pitcher-friendly environment of Oakland's gigantic stadium (and regular visits to Seattle and Anaheim). Milone's ERA is a sterling 0.39 in his three Oakland turns, but it swells to 7.16 on the road. Trips to Fenway Park (eight runs, seven earned) and Tampa Bay (five runs) did the most damage to Milone's bottom line; there's that east-coast swing again.

Milone probably shouldn't be used in Arlington, either — that's the most dangerous place in the majors right now — though he held up admirably in his Wednesday start there (7 IP, 9 H, 4 R, 1 BB, 4 K). If you can hang in against these ridiculous Rangers, you move up on the trust clipboard. Mayday's next three starts look reasonable enough: at home against the Angels (good), at home against the Yankees (you call it), and on the road at Kansas City (that works).

One reason I'm prepared to slot Milone fairly high with the stream police  is his ability to get batters to swing at his pitch. He's currently getting hitters to offer at 34.3 percent of his tosses outside the strike zone; that's third-best in the majors. In a nutshell, that's what knowing how to pitch really means. I'm also in on the NL leaders in this stat, Jeff Samardzija and Ryan Dempster.

While you consider the pros and cons of division and parks, let's take a quick look around some of the other Wednesday-specific happenings around the fantasy world:

• The misses keep coming for Rickie Weeks: he donned a golden sombrero (four punchouts) in Wednesday's loss at Houston, pushing his strikeout rate over 30 percent for the season and pushing his batting average down to .154. All hasn't been lost with Weeks's batting eye this season, mind you — he's walking 14.7 percent of the time, and as Jack Moore notes in this intriguing piece, Weeks laid off some tricky borderline pitches in Wednesday's ballgame. But when you add in the never-ending injury risk of Weeks (he's played one full year in the majors), his career .251 average, and his declining interest in stealing bases, this isn't someone I want to take the chance on. If you have a pro-Weeks stance, you're welcome to offer it up in the comments.

• If the Cardinals can simply stay reasonably healthy, they look like the clear National League favorites to me, a very deep club that can pile on the runs, beat you with sharp pitching, or both. But the medical file is getting complicated with the Redbirds of late; it's time to see what Mike Matheny is made of in the manager's chair.

Jon Jay (shoulder) landed on the DL on Tuesday, a big hit given the team's lack of options in center field. Carlos Beltran's monster start hit a rough patch this week as he deals with a balky knee, and breakout star Allen Craig (hamstring) is day-to-day after pulling up lame in Wednesday's victory at San Francisco. Lance Berkman (calf) is back in the mix after a DL stint, but at age 36, we can't automatically assume he'll be a set-it-and-forget-it player for the rest of 2012.

I was prepared to give Craig a very lofty rank in the next Outfield Shuffle, which comes to you this afternoon. I'm still of the mindset that he'll play 5-7 times a week, no matter what other Cardinals are healthy — his bat is too valuable. And while Craig is never going to be a plus defender, at least he's capable of taking the field at several different spots (left field, right field, first base, third base, maybe even second in a pinch). Matheny is no dummy: he'll find a way to keep Craig's bat in the middle of the order.

• What do we make of Carlos Zambrano's fast start? Big Z is carrying a 1.88 ERA and 1.04 WHIP after seven turns, and it hasn't really been a story driven by Miami's home park: his numbers are much better on the road. He's still more wild than we'd like (17 walks over 48 innings), but at least the strikeout count (39) keeps the K/BB ratio safely over 2/1. I'm a little leery about Zambrano in an AL park this weekend — even if Cleveland doesn't ordinarily move the needle — but after that he gets two home turns, working against Colorado and Washington. I'll sign up for those assignments.

• Frank Francisco hasn't pitched since Monday's rocky save against the Brewers, but sometimes your stock goes up simply by watching other pitchers kick it around. Jon Rauch's neck tattoo didn't scare the Reds on Wednesday (one out, three runs in the eighth inning) and he wound up saddled with the loss. Bobby Parnell has been reliable as New York's other high-leverage reliever (2.12 ERA, nine straight scoreless outings), so we have to keep him in mind as a possible hedge. Parnell has 17 whiffs against three walks for his 17 innings this year.

Parnell was so-so as the late-season closer at the end of 2011, however; he was handed 10 standard save chances over the final five weeks (ninth-inning work) and converted just 6-of-10. It's not enough to eliminate Parnell from closing at some point this year, but it might be enough to keep Parnell locked into the No. 3 role for now.

As you probably already know, Josh Hamilton currently leads the American League in basically every major hitting category, by a wide margin. He has a five-homer lead over Curtis Granderson, a 14-RBI edge over Miguel Cabrera and Edwin Encarnacion, and his batting average is 36 points higher than Derek Jeter's. He ranks first in the AL in slugging percentage at .848, which puts him 215 points ahead of the dude in second place, David Ortiz.

Hamilton is coming off one of the most impressive one-week individual slugging performances in baseball history, going 13-for-28 with nine home runs and 16 RBIs from May 6 to May 12. Only Frank Howard has ever hit more bombs in a single week. He's good, this Hamilton fella — very good.

Yet during his nine-homer binge, he was also one of the more heavily traded stocks in fantasy.

The trade questions began rolling in via Twitter on Wednesday, after Hamilton single-handedly destroyed the Orioles with a record-tying four-dinger outburst. The deals were typically two-for-ones, with an elite starting pitcher and an early-round hitter packaged for Hamilton. It was David Price and Ian Kinsler in one deal, CC Sabathia and Justin Upton in another.

Now c'mon, those are pretty spectacular hauls, no matter your opinion of Hamilton. All the big issues we worried about back in February still exist with this player — elevated injury risk, elevated personal demon risk — and it's not like we're just now finding out that he's capable of delivering best-in-game stats. If you're a Hamilton owner who's looking to cash out, I get it.

...but in this case, I can also understand the desire to buy or hold. There's a Triple Crown buzz surrounding Hamilton, and that's a feat we haven't seen in the fantasy era. He's on pace for something like 80 homers and 200 RBIs. Someday you might tell your grandchildren about the magical year you owned Hamilton in AL-only roto.

...or you'll flip him immediately in AL-only, because the threat of injury is so great and replacement value in your league is so low.

I suppose the bottom line here is that I wish I had your problems, Hamilton owner. Instead, I'm the guy waiting impatiently for the Jose Bautista surge. If you've been on either side of a Josh Hamilton deal in recent days, please share the details below, after the lively video. Trading volume has been high, so a few of you should have stories to tell...

Old. Decrepit. Antiquated. These were just a few words fanalysts used to describe Raul Ibanez preseason.

Though it's true the centenarian once decked Bill the Butcher in a bare-knuckle boxing match in 1851, it appears he has plenty left in the tank. Sipping from the Fountain of Youth, Ibanez has posted numbers most owners would fawn over if not tallied by an supposed over-the-hill hitter. His .273-7-21-10-2 line over just 88 at-bats checks in at No. 38 among eligible outfielders and No. 147 overall, ahead of coveted juniors Justin Upton, Alex Gordon and Drew Stubbs.

Enough with the age discrimination, mixed leaguers. The venerable Yankee deserves your consideration, at the very least.

Thumbing through the baseball annals, a handful of major leaguers fended off the corrosive effects of Father Time to post quality numbers during their age 39 campaigns. Since 2000, notable names Barry Bonds, Frank Thomas, Steve Finley and Andres Galaragga each clubbed 25-plus homers and drove in 90 or more runs at an identical point on the career arc. Sure, his elite days with the Mariners and Phillies are firmly entrenched in the past, but there are several underlying signs that suggest Ibanez could join his geriatric predecessors in the exclusive 25-90 Club 39.

[ Jeff Passan: Who's most likely to land Josh Hamilton on the free-agent market?]

For starters, the crafty veteran has sported an eagle eye. He's sliced his K-rate in half ('11: 18.4, '12: 9.3), seeing more pitches while drawing more walks. A ground pounder in his final two stints with the Phillies ('10 GB/FB: 1.19, '11: 1.32), he's also transformed into a fly-ball hitter (0.88 GB/FB in '12), routinely turning on offerings over the inner half in an attempt to take advantage of the friendly Yankees Stadium jet stream. Of the five homers he's smacked at the House Jeter Built, four were pulled. Even more impressive, Ibanez ranks second to Josh Hamilton in no doubters according to Hittracker. Balls off his bat are sailing, not sneaking, over the fence, an excellent indicator of bat speed and strength. Despite his advanced age, the man needs no Boniva. And based on his two steals (In the past, pandas mated more frequently than Ibanez stole bags), he apparently doesn't need a motorized scooter either.

With Brett Gardner roughly 2-3 weeks from activation, Ibanez will continue to log regular PT. Even when the speedster returns, he should remain a fixture in the lineup. As New York manager Joe Girardi remarked earlier this week, the lefty has delivered many timely connections. From the Daily News:

Capping a week in which Ibanez went 8-for-18 with four homers and nine RBI, the seventh hitter in the lineup drove in the game's first run on a two-out, two-strike double in the second inning. He then hit a solo shot over the center field wall in the fourth.

"He's been doing it for a long time," Joe Girardi said. "I'm not sure (the double pitch) was on the plate. I don't think it was a strike and that's how good of a hitter he is."

Ibanez had a two-homer game against the Rays Tuesday night and a three-run blast off King Felix Hernandez on Friday.

"It's been incredible," Girardi said. "It's one thing to have 20 or so RBI, but it's another thing to have the 20 RBI, the type that he has. How big they've been for us. A lot of them have been game changers for us and that's what he's done for us."

Overshadowed on his own team by superstars Derek Jeter, Curtis Granderson and Nick Swisher, the 27-percent owned commodity should continue to thrive as long as his peripherals remain intact. On a 33-homer, 100-RBI pace, it's fathomable he could outpace or finish within striking distance of heavily owned boppers like Corey Hart, Matt Joyce and Josh Willingham.

As Fantasyland continues to fawn over a 19-year-old .232 hitter with anger issues (Bryce Harper), New York's Old Man River quietly rages.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 395 at-bats, .268 BA, 19 HR, 74 RBI, 52 R, 2 SB

FLAMES OF THE WEEK

Andy Dirks, Det, OF (28-percent owned) — With five multi-hit games, two homers, six RBIs and eight runs scored since Cinco de Mayo, the former Wichita St. standout has shocked the fantasy community. Cemented in the two-hole behind Austin Jackson, the sparkplug is immediately acquirable in 12-team and deeper mixers. His high-contact rate and knack for getting on-base should give owners a pleasurable case of the runs, especially with Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder dismantling baseballs behind him. Dirks' minor league track-record denotes he's more of a low double-digit power producer, but his 17 steals between two levels last year indicates he should eventually swipe bags. Put it all together and he could emerge a 12-15 player come year's end. Dirks, though currently bothered by a minor hamstring injury, is a valuable asset who deserves more attention.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 418 at-bats, .280 BA, 8 HR, 51 RBI, 65 R, 13 SB

Christian Friedrich, Col, SP (8-percent) — Seventeen strikeouts in 13.1 innings pitched. About 99.9-percent of the time, fantasy owners would scale Mount Everest to acquire a starting pitcher with that kind of initial output. But few have made the effort. Coors Field's thin air combined with Friedrich's skyward ways (0.69 GB/FB) are, to some, a recipe for future disaster. Though his ERA is due to rise, it's extremely difficult to ignore his first two turns in the Bigs. Showing the poise and polish of an established vet, the southpaw has performed like a well-oiled machine, featuring a darting, late-moving low-to-mid 90s fastball, big-breaking curve, slider and change. As long as his command remains harnessed, continued success is in the crystal ball. After humiliating the Giants on the road Monday (7 IP, 1 ER, 10 K, 1 BB), he is worth an immediate add, deep-leaguer. Two of his next three starts, home clashes with SEA and HOU, are quite favorable.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 146.1 IP, 8 W, 3.79 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 142 K

LAMES O' THE WEAK

Jimmy Rollins, Phi, SS — The once revered shortstop's slow descension toward mediocrity continues. A common entrant high on owner cheat-sheets preseason, he currently ranks outside the SS top-20 and No. 346 overall, behind future superstars Kyle Seager and Robert Andino. One of Rollins' goals entering the season was to become a more efficient hitter. Sadly, the opposite has occurred. His spike in strikeouts ('11 K%: 9.4, '12: 16.3) and dwindling power are major concerns. However, he's not completely toast. His 88-plus contact percentage suggests if he can take a pitch or two, his BA should eventually rebound into the .265-.275 range. He's also stealing bases at a rather prolific clip, evident in his 31 SB pace. At 33, MVP-caliber numbers are certainly behind him, but J-Roll should eventually reverse course, finishing at or around the top-10 at his position. Traded this week for Vance Worley, Jon Lester and Logan Morrison in one-for-one deals, the veteran is a quality buy-low candidate.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 422 at-bats, .272 BA, 10 HR, 54 RBI, 63 R, 21 SB

Ricky Romero, Tor, SP — Tattooed in two of his past three turns, last year's breakout star has faded rapidly. Since May 2, he's surrendered 11 runs in 19.1 innings pitch, amassing a wretched 13:13 K:BB split in the process. Clear in his dramatic rise in BB/9, fastball command has been Romero's biggest bugaboo. The offering is largely average so far this season according to Fangraphs' pitch value metric. Because his strikeout pitch is the change, fastball execution is imperative for the lefty. Without it, as seen recently against Texas and Minnesota, and he's extremely vulnerable. Romero still coaxes a high volume of groundball outs, but his increase in gopherballs coupled with the walks leaves a bitter taste. There's hope for a turnaround, but considering the division, his 4.20 xFIP and other disturbing peripherals, it could be a step-back year for the hurler. Shop him while his all-around numbers are still palatable.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 163.1 IP, 10 W, 4.11 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 127 K

QUICK HITTERS (Random musings from my demented brain)

• Consider this your final notice to take advantage of slashed prices on Drew Storen and Michael Morse. Both are slated to start rehab assignments in the next week or two targeting early June returns. Due to Henry Rodriguez's recent struggles, Storen, who slammed the door 43 times last year, should reclaim the ninth-inning role once he rounds into shape. As for Morse, many have already written him off as a one-year wonder, but his prime age and steady isolated power totals since 2009 indicate he's no flash-in-the-pan. He is very capable of smashing 20-plus homers once reinserted into the starting lineup.

• Carlos Beltran claims his right knee soreness is nothing to be concerned about, but, based on his long injury history and current earth-shattering pace (.295-60-148-129-23), it's sage for owners to advertise the outfielder's services. I would be shocked if played 135 games this year. In one-for-one swaps this week he's attracted the likes of Justin Verlander, Dustin Pedroia and, interestingly enough, Albert Pujols. Profit.

• God forbid, but if the injury imp wreaks havoc on the Rangers outfield later this season, Leonys Martin could become a fantasy factor. Scouts peg him as an above average leadoff man capable of contributing noticeable returns in all major 5x5 categories. He looked fantastic in a brief stint with the senior club last year and was off to a torrid start at Triple-A Round Rock (98 at-bats, .347 BA, 3 HR, 11 RBI, 13 R, 7 SB) before succumbing to a thumb setback May 1. He should return to the Express lineup sometime mid-summer. If he bounces back quickly, a promotion could be right around the corner. Store his name to long-term memory.

• In every fantasy football draft imaginable this year, I'm targeting Matthew Stafford in Round 2. Coming off one of the most historic, and overshadowed, seasons in NFL history, the 5,000-yard, 41-TD beast continues to get slighted for being injury prone. In a way, he's this generation's Fred Taylor, a player who was consumed by injury early in his career, earned an unfortunate "fragile" label but proved to be largely durable and highly productive over the remainder of his career. Look, Stafford, arguably one of the toughest quarterbacks in the league (Remember the separated shoulder game versus the Browns a couple years back?), has yet to reach his prime and is in a ripe situation. He has arguably the game's deadliest downfield weapon in Calvin Johnson, a host of quality secondary and tertiary targets (e.g. Nate Burleson, Titus Young, Brandon Pettigrew and hopefully Jahvid Best), a still flimsy defense and suspect ground attack. Mix all of those ingredients together and 2011's sweet numbers could be replicated. And don't be swayed by the silly Madden Curse. Larry Fitzgerald and Drew Brees were able to stave off its voodoo powers. Megatron will too.

• REO Speedwagon's classic "Take it on the Run" has officially become my favorite singalong while half-crocked song. If Nelson Cruz ever cheats on the Noise, I will go "Say Anything" on his front doorstep, blaring the tune, to ensure he clearly understands the pain he caused. And Sweet Nelly, please quit whiffing.

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The Albert Pujols mystery in Anaheim has turned into a nifty screen for Kansas City's Eric Hosmer. If not for Albert's much-ballyhooed struggles, more of the fantasy public would be zeroing in on the Royals, trying to figure out what happening with the struggling sophomore (.182/.248/.336) Let's go under the hood (Fangraphs is your best friend, gamer) and see what we can find.

One thing we can say for Hosmer: despite his horrendous percentages, his counting numbers really aren't that bad. He's on pace to knock 23 homers, score 74 runs and drive in 83 more. That's less than we expected back in March, sure, but it's not a bad haul for someone hitting Blink 182.

Outlier batting averages come with outlier BABIPs, so no one should be surprised by Hosmer's .175 mark there. There's been a modest dip in his line-drive rate but his BB/K trend is heading in the right direction (walks are up, strikeouts are down). He's cut down on his swings outside the strike zone and his overall contact numbers look fine, so this doesn't seem like an approach problem.

[MLB Full Count: Watch live look-ins and highlights for free all season long]

If Hosmer is to grow into the superstar that everyone expects, he needs to develop against left-handed pitching. Southpaws controlled him easily last year and it's been even worse in 2012; over his 189 at-bats against lefties as a big-leaguer, he has a dreadful .217/.266/.286 slash. But considering Hosmer is all of 22 years old, there's plenty of time to make adjustments in that area. There's no risk of a platoon forming — the Royals will leave him alone, give him time and reps to figure it out.

Mash all of this together and I'm not particularly concerned about Hosmer going forward; perhaps you can buy him low (well, moderately discounted) in a league here or there. Ned Yost is going to use Hosmer in the No. 2 slot for a while, see if that gets the kid's bat going.

The National League version of Hosmer (young, slumping first sacker) might be Ike Davis. The Mets are providing the 25-year-old lefty with plenty of chances to produce runs - he's batted a league-high 51 times with runners in scoring position - but he hasn't been up to the task. Davis's production in those situations (.157/.218/.294, 20 Ks) is almost identical to his nightmare seasonal slash, except for an elevated strikeout rate. Imagine where the surprising Mets might be if they simply had a league-average cornerman taking these at-bats.

Davis's washout start is a partially-excused absence, of course: he had a serious ankle injury last May and, more importantly, he battled the mysterious Valley Fever this spring. Davis also missed Sunday's game with a flu bug - it's not clear if that's a residual from Valley Fever or something completely different. It's not easy to play your best ball when you're constantly worried about fatigue and breathing problems.

Davis insists his early-season funk has nothing to do with his spring issues, but no one really knows the story here. Maybe he's simply sick of talking about the issue, or he doesn't want to look like a guy making excuses. Davis has been lowered in the batting order for the last three weeks - batting sixth or lower in all but one game - and I'd be surprised if he forced a promotion anytime soon.

The Arizona State product is hacking at more pitches outside the zone this year and his swinging-strike numbers have spiked, so he's making some of his bad fortune. And with a heavy ground-ball spike (all the way up to 51.8 percent, well over his career norm), it's no great surprise Davis has just two doubles to go with his five homers.

Could geography be the issue here? Davis is off to a 3-for-56 start at home (all singles), as opposed to an acceptable .258/.310/.515 slash on the road. All five of his homers, naturally, have come away from New York. Is this a case of a slumping player trying too hard to get the fans off his back? Or are we just looking at a fluky piece of data, driven by a modest sample of 35 games, and reading too much into it?

It looked like Davis might be breaking out last week, homering agains the Phillies and Marlins, but he's fallen back into a 0-for-13 rut since then, with five strikeouts. Maybe that's the weekend virus talking. Davis is still on pace to launch 23 homers, but the run production isn't there and he's headed for 167 strikeouts. The odd 2012 case of Davis comes down to more of a gut-feel call, and at the end of the day this is not someone I'd chase in a trade unless the price came significantly discounted. You're welcome to offer your take, and your intelligent counters, in the comments.

While everyone breaks into a chorus of "Where have you gone, Rico Brogna?" . . . let's look at some Tuesday-specific action from the sandlots:

• Brett Lawrie is another young player mildly disappointing us in 2012 (.289/.333/.394), though he's posted respectable counting stats (16 runs, 17 RBIs) and some category juice (three homers, five steals). But those stats are going to be on ice in the near future; his ninth-inning meltdown from Tuesday is sure to draw a league suspension. If you haven't seen the highlight yet, click on over: Lawrie disagreed with two highly-questionable strike calls (the second of which punched him out), and when he slammed his helmet in frustration, it ricocheted into contact with home plate umpire Bill Miller. The Ranger isn't gonna like this, Yogi.

I wonder if Miller took exception to Lawrie trying to buy the ball-four call with a premature trot to first. This sort of batter act has to be transparent to the men behind the plate, and everyone knows that some umpires, rightly or wrongly, will subject young players to a slightly-different standard until they get their feet wet in The Show. That sort of treatment happens all over pro sports — you might say it's an epidemic in the NBA, where seniority is everything. Don't shoot the arrows at me, I didn't make the rules and I certainly have no say in how they're enforced. I'm just raising the issue for discussion.

But here's one thing I definitely like about Lawrie: he's passionate. It's obvious he wants to succeed, and to win, very badly; his all-out fervor makes Bryce Harper look like Brad Pitt's couch slacker from True Romance. If I were a Toronto fan (right now I'm more of a sympathizer, but I'm getting there), I'd be all in on this guy. You know he's going to leave it on the field every night, and you can say the same for manager John Farrell, an admirable mix of intelligence and personality.

The pro-Tampa folks in the crowd might have a different view of the Lawrie at-bat: perhaps it was a case of Jose Molina doing his masterful framing, or maybe it's a sign that Fernando Rodney is getting mad-respect from the men in blue. Are you ready to live in a world where Rodney is the AL's best relief pitcher? We're getting very close to that bizarre reality: he's posted 11 saves (without a blemish) and two wins, along with a 0.51 ERA and 0.85 WHIP. Three walks against 17 strikeouts? Take a long and deserved bow, Jim Hickey. You're a miracle worker.

• The Red Sox needed a statement from their two aces this week, and for a change, Jon Lester and Josh Beckett stepped to the challenge. Lester mowed down the Mariners in his complete game Monday (8 H, 1 R, 0 BB, 6 K), and Beckett was very sharp in his Tuesday victory (7 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 9 K, no three-putts). That's a great starting-off point, but sterner tests lie ahead. Lester and Beckett will pitch at Philadelphia this weekend (okay, not so scary in 2012), then face some combination of Tampa Bay, Detroit, Toronto and Baltimore in the next few weeks. No easy pickings in that group. If I owned Beckett anywhere, I'd be quietly trying to sell the line and the pictures from Tuesday night.

• How do we spin this Wei-Yin Chen story? Did the Orioles steal a potential ace when they signed the Taiwanese lefty to an affordable three-year deal, or is Chen's early success built on a shaky foundation? It's time for a closer look.

Chen notched his fourth victory in seven starts Tuesday against the Yankees, working seven strong innings (4 H, 2 R, 2 BB, 4 K) and outdueling CC Sabathia. Chen hasn't been ducking anyone in the first quarter of the year, facing New York twice, Texas once and Boston once. He's yet to allow more than three earned runs in any turn, and his season adds up to a 2.45 ERA and 1.20 WHIP. His average fastball clocks at a modest 90.1 mph, but he's spotting it well and getting results. Chen also has a positive grade on his curve and change, though he's relying on the fastball almost two-thirds of the time.

The peripheral-suggested ERAs throw some cold water on the story, mind you. Chen's FIP is 3.41, almost a full run over the standard number, and his xFIP stands at 4.41, tied to his fortunate 4.9 HR/FB rate. And that gopher-friendly pace is important for Chen, because he only induces ground balls a third of the time. Warmer weather and increased exposure around the league will probably push the ERA into the high 3s by midseason.

Nonetheless, Chen is working deep into games and he's throwing strikes (and getting 2.3 whiffs for every free pass), so it's perfectly fine to consider him a preferred streamer in the interim. There's also a nifty support system in place: Baltimore has 58 homers to lead the majors, and closer Jim Johnson has converted 20 straight save chances (including three of Chen's victories). The lefty gets a favorable match against the offensively-challenged Nationals on Sunday, but he'll also have to find a way to beat Stephen Strasburg.

• Gregor Blanco has settled in as a Giants regular and he's taking advantage, on a 6-for-15 binge the last four days with seven runs, four walks and two steals. He's homered once, too. Blanco was a running machine during the meaningless spring games (13 bags) and if nothing else, it seems like he'll get the green light now. He's unowned in 98 percent of Yahoo! leagues; consider a short-term speed rental, see where it goes.

That's what I've got for you today, gamers. So liberating to go bullpen-free for once (if you want the Jose Valverde post-mortem, we've got your dance over here). Feel free to cover your favorite unmentioned player in the comments, be it someone young (Mike Trout and Bryce Harper homered Tuesday), someone unheralded (that pesky Daniel Nava keeps getting on base) or someone old (Jamie Moyer pitches at Coors Field on Wednesday). The office is temporarily closed, but the floor is all yours.

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Evidently ex-bed buddy Kim Kardashian's reportedly steamy relationship with hip-hop mogul Kanye West is fueling Reggie Bush.

The fleet-footed rusher, who finished inside the RB top-15 in a breakout campaign with the Fins last year, is setting a lofty, almost laughable goal for the 2012 season:  Winning the NFL rushing title. From the Sun-Sentinel:

There's a possibility Bush can contribute even more for the Dolphins this upcoming season because this west coast offense fits his skill set. Head coach Joe Philbin is excited about the tools in Bush's tool belt, and has a vision of how to better utilize his skill set, hinting that Bush might line up as a receiver more.

That might explain why Bush told WSVN's Sports Xtra on Sunday that his goal is to lead the NFL in rushing this season. […]

"I want the rushing title," said Bush, who finished 11th in rushing last season. "This offseason I've been working towards that goal. Just being effective like I was this past season.

"Every time I rush the ball I want four yards," said Bush, who averaged 5.0 yards per carry in 2011. "I'm keeping my focus simple and small, but at same time helping my team progress."

Rrrriiiiggghhttt. And Tim Tebow will complete 85 percent of his passes this fall.

Miami's stout O-line and Bush's newfangled gusto between the tackles — he racked up 5.6 YPC in up-the-gut runs last year — would lead one to surmise the RB's claim, though ultra-confident, isn't overly exuberant. However, those are Miami's only positive takeaways on offense. Under new head coach Joe Philbin, this is a franchise in transition.  Rookie Ryan Tannehill, who started just 19 games at quarterback during his four-year career at Texas A&M, may begin the season under center. Davone Bess is the best returning receiver after Brandon Marshall blew north to the Windy City in March. And, most complicating for Reggie, local product Lamar Miller was plucked in the draft. The youngster and Daniel Thomas are expected to push Bush for touches when Dolphins training camp opens later this summer. Add it all up, and it appears he's drank too much Kool-Aid basking in the South Beach sun.

If Tannehill proves to be a sensation out of the gate and someone in the receiving corps transforms into a reliable target, maybe Bush flirts with the RB top 10. He should net plenty of touches via ground and air. Keep in mind Philbin has designs of lining him up in the slot as a receiver, similar to how Sean Payton deployed him during his tenure with the Saints. Still, it's highly improbable he meets the self-made expectation. Point blank: The Fins might have the third-best offense in the state of Florida, especially if Chad Henne overtakes wayward Blaine Gabbert in Jacksonville.

For fantasy purposes, consider Bush a back-end RB2 in standard formats (top-tier RB2 in PPR leagues) capable of 1,350 total yards and six-eight TDs, a solid value at his current 53.2 average draft position (ADP).

Psychologically, it's good for athletes to set the bar high. However, unless Bush has LeBron-like hops, he won't eclipse it.

Want to bull rush Brad? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise and be sure to check him along with Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski on The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio

I don't mind if MLB wants to go with a "30 new closers in 30 days" gimmick for this season, I just wish they'd promote it a little better. Mercy.

Jose Valverde stepped into the ring of fire Tuesday afternoon in Chicago, in what was supposed to be a routine "get work" appearance with a four-run lead. Papa Grande retired the first two batters, then Paul Konerko and A.J. Pierzynski followed with hits. Valverde went to a 3-1 count on the ensuing batter, Alex Rios, before the proceedings stopped and the Tigers removed him from the game.

A half hour later, the news came down: Valverde is dealing with lower back tightness. "Just have to keep our fingers crossed on Jose," Tigers manager Jim Leyland told MLB.com. "I think it's all right."

Detroit has used Joaquin Benoit and Octavio Dotel as Valverde's gatekeepers this year; Benoit usually gets the eighth inning while Dotel works in the seventh. Benoit pitched a scoreless eighth in Tuesday's game, and it was Dotel who inherited the chippy save chance that Valverde created. Dotel finished off Rios's walk, allowed a hit, then recorded one out. Ballgame. Good work if you can get it.

A day-to-day injury like this might not sound like much, but we have to consider the body type with Valverde. He's 6-foot-4 and generously listed at 254 pounds, and he's never really been in Olympic shape. He's only topped 67 innings twice in his relief career (though he did sail past that number last year). If you drafted Valverde back in March, you knew what you were getting into. (I felt confident Valverde was headed for a possible injury this year, I just thought it would happen through elaborate celebration. Looks like I lost that prop.)

Leyland is a manager who likes simplicity with his roster and lineup. He's not one of those Tony LaRussa types who wants moving parts all over his ballclub. If Leyland wrote a daily chess puzzle, the solution would be "mate in one." LaRussa's puzzle would be a five-day series that ultimately served as a testament to LaRussa's genius. Leyland has never been a manager with an ego or a complicated plan.

What I'm bandying about is this: if the Tigers do need to replace Valverde for an extended period of time (and no one's saying that yet), I'd expect one pitcher to get the bulk of the closing work. Leyland generally wants defined roles, so long as his players can handle it. He's the guy who stuck with Todd Jones through thick and thin for so many years. He's good to his closers.

Because Benoit already had claim to the eighth inning, I'd make him my first speculation play here. Dotel actually has much better stats this year and considerably more closing experience over the years (he's also four years older than Benoit), if that matters to you. But the one time Dotel was asked to secure a save in a traditional manner this year, it turned into a mess: he couldn't throw a strike in Seattle. Maybe that means something to the Tigers, maybe it doesn't.

Some might point to Benoit's five blown saves from 2011, but throw that stat in the shredder. All of them came in appearances before the ninth inning; as we've discussed in the past, these are misleading outcomes. A non-closing reliever will often be given a chance to blow a save but no real chance to complete that same save. So any blown opportunity before the ninth inning has to be treated differently, or perhaps not considered at all.

Onto the next bullpen on fire. Let's be careful out there.

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The long-running sportswriter code says that you don't root for teams, you root for stories. And with that in mind, I'll openly admit I'm pulling for Boston outfielder Daniel Nava. If he sticks with the Red Sox, they could make a movie out of this guy's life.

The unheralded 29-year-old outfielder landed in Boston last week and he's been a factor in all five games since then. Nava is off to a 7-for-12 start, with six runs, a homer, and six RBIs. And more impressively, he's been impossible to keep off base: six walks, .750 OBP. He's even been plunked by a couple of pitches. The discerning eye is something he's always had, as you can see through his minor-league career (.317/.414/.496 over six seasons).

If you've never heard of Nava, it's with good reason. There's no pedigree here, no buzzy prospect file to discuss. The 5-foot-10 switch hitter was invited to walk onto the Santa Clara baseball as a teenager but didn't make the cut - he eventually settled in as team manager. And when the price of tuition got out of reach, Nava eventually left school and settled in at a junior college.

That's when the story gets interesting: Nava blossomed at JC and eventually he made it back to Santa Clara, this time on a full athletic scholarship. Nava turned into a collegiate star but didn't get drafted, so he had to start over again in professional ball, working his way up from the absolute bottom.

When Nava made a splash playing independent league baseball in 2007, the Red Sox bought his rights for the princely sum of $1. Basically he was brought in to be an organizational player, roster depth for the minors. You don't expect this type of prospect to ever make it to the major leagues, a 25-year-old non-pedigree outfielder. He consistently produced in the bush leagues over the next few seasons (look at the slash lines, they're impressive) but Nava still didn't seem to have a legitimate MLB future. Too old, some scouts thought. Not a pro body, others concluded.

Injuries forced Nava into Boston's outfield for 60 games back in 2010. He didn't show a lick of power (other than a first-pitch grand slam in his debut) and he was reluctant to run, but his batting eye showed up (19 walks, .351 OBP). He's never been a part of Boston's preseason plans, in any year.

The Red Sox have plenty of big names on their outfield roster. If Carl Crawford and Jacoby Ellsbury weren't hurt right now - and if Boston weren't a desperate ballclub - Nava would probably still be in the minors, toiling away anonymously. Heck, the Red Sox were willing to recycle Marlon Byrd from the Cubs before they gave Nava a shot to play.

Nava's first four games came against right-handed pitching, but he stuck in the lineup Monday against lefty Jason Vargas. The production kept coming: Nava cranked a homer and walked twice. This could be a story with a very short shelf life, but Bobby Valentine doesn't have a choice: he needs to keep Nava in the lineup until the streak peters out. Heck, I don't know why Valentine doesn't let Nava lead off - an OBP machine is the perfect fit for the No. 1 slot. But if you wait around in this life for Bobby Valentine to do the smart or logical thing, you're not going to get anywhere. Let's just move on.

Nava is unowned in 97 percent of Yahoo! leagues. Again, this is a short-leash player, and someone who could be on the bench (or in the minors) by the end of the week if things don't fall his way. When a ballclub hands you uniform No. 66, they're not paying homage to Mario Lemieux: they're making a public statement about what they think of you. But perhaps Boston will some around to the value in Nava's underrated bat and keen eye, and maybe they'll keep giving him work for a while. In some deeper mixed leagues, any semi-regular on offense has value.

Your move, stat chaser. While you consider a possible addition here, we flip back to our series on the Decline of Western Civilization, Part 10: The Closer Years.

• When you add up all the events from Monday, Frank Francisco probably comes out even. On the plus side: he was given a vote of confidence from manager Terry Collins, and he nailed down New York's 3-1 victory over Milwaukee. But Francisco's outing was another shaky one, and he might not have that many lives left as the man in the ninth.

Francisco inherited a three-run lead for his assignment, so there was plenty of wiggle room. Good thing, because the Brewers quickly assembled a rally. Ryan Braun singled and stole second, and scored two batters later on Corey Hart's single. Absent-minded Aramis Ramirez (his mental error in the last of the eighth — typical for him — gave the Mets a gift insurance run) grounded out in the middle of that, and all three men hit the ball sharply.

When Tyler Green followed with a walk (on a borderline 3-2 pitch), Francisco was probably one more misstep away from being yanked. By this point Jon Rauch was throwing in the bullpen, warming furiously. But Francisco rallied and put out the fire, getting a called third strike on Brooks Conrad (why Conrad never offered at the belt-high fastball, I'll never understand) and a soft lineout from George Kotteras to end the game.

Francisco's season-long problems were evident in this appearance. He didn't seem to trust his fastball - and it sure looked hittable - and he had trouble locating his off-speed pitches. He's specifically struggled against left-handed batters this year (.361/.455/.591); maybe Milwaukee didn't have the best challenges for Francisco in this area, but other clubs will present sterner challenges. I'll be surprised if we don't see a messy landing from Francisco at some point later in the week, maybe during the weekend series at Toronto. I'm not cashing in my Rauch speculation play yet.

• When Henry Rodriguez throws strikes, almost no one can hit him (okay, except for you, Votto). When Oh Henry loses his control, you wonder how he gets anyone out.

Every Rodriguez meltdown turns into a spectacular failure of sorts, and Monday night is another case in point. Rodriguez walked the bases loaded on 21 pitches (just eight strikes) against San Diego, forcing Davey Johnson to make a change. Lefty Sean Burnett sealed the game with a tidy double-play grounder, so the Nats walked off the field happily. But Rodriguez's leash can't be particularly long right now.

Johnson has already come out and said Rodriguez is still his closer (though a Tuesday rest is imminent), and maybe the skipper deserves some of Monday's blame anyway. Rodriguez pitched in the two previous games and four of the last six entering Monday, so fatigue may have been an issue. Why tax your closer to hold a three-run lead against the Padres, of all teams? Why let Jerome Holtzman run your life like this, skip?

When you add it all up, Rodriguez has been terrible in four of his last nine appearances, dating back to Wild Pitch Palooza at Los Angeles on April 28. Be open minded to other Washington relievers, because the Nats are contenders now and they can't futz around if a closer is handing away ballgames. Assuming Tyler Clippard sticks in the eighth, we have to consider lefty Burnett (0.90 ERA, 1.00 WHIP over 10 innings) and righty Craig Stammen (1.29 ERA, 0.86 WHIP over 21 innings) as short-term closing possibilities. And with their strong numbers, they're worth owning in a lot of mixed leagues anyway. Stammen is currently owned in four percent of Yahoo! leagues, and Burnett trades at three percent.

• It's been an interesting up-and-down prospect career for Rockies lefty Christian Friedrich. He was one of those need-to-know prospects back in 2009 and 2010 (at one point Baseball America considered him the No. 33 prospect in the game), but two stalled years at Double-A Tulsa (and ERAs over 5) put a kibosh on the buzz.

Maybe it's time to get excited again. Friedrich made the jump to Triple-A this spring (after a vigorous off-season of training with Cliff Lee) and turned in five impressive starts (3.00 ERA, four walks, 27 strikeouts), prompting a call to Colorado. He's made two starts on the road in pitcher-friendly parks, posting 13 sterling innings (11 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 17 K). Have a look at the video from Monday's turn at San Francisco — I'm sure you'll be impressed.

The rookie will soon be introduced to the facts of life in the majors; he's at Coors Field this weekend (although it's against Seattle) and he'll probably work in Cincinnati after that. That's a long way from Petco Park and AT&T Park. But with the strikeout potential Friedrich possesses, we at least have to consider him in the mixed-league world. He's currently owned in a modest seven percent of Yahoo! leagues.

Speed Round: It's a good thing the Dodgers have that big lead in the NL West, because Matt Kemp (hamstring) landed on the DL. With Kemp and others out of the mix, catcher A.J. Ellis moved up to fifth in the lineup Monday. … A vision problem forced Freddie Freeman to the bench in the middle of Monday's game. Apparently it's a slight corneal abrasion, and he's listed as day-to-day. … Mark Teixeira homers, Yankees fans boo him anyway . . . Elliot Johnson is having a fun month in Tampa (.333, two homers, four steals) and is a nice short-term roto rental. You can play him at second or short. … Rickie Weeks (wrist) should be back in action Tuesday, making outs for the Brewers. … If the Angels bat Alberto Callaspo sixth, do we really have to take them seriously? The punchless Halos were blanked for the eighth time in 31 games Monday. Arcade favorite Josh Reddick homered for Oakland. … Eric Stults has been designated for assignment, over the protests of Cameron Crow and Jerry Maguire. … Bryce Harper hit his first of many big-league homers Monday. Bully for him. I still like the idea of trading him now; today is often underrated in roto leagues, tomorrow is often overrated (this is a recording). … Chris Young (shoulder) has started a rehab assignment and isn't far away from rejoining the Diamondbacks. The sooner the better — that floundering team is already 9.5 games behind the Dodgers. … The Red Sox have won four games in a row, setting things up for Josh Beckett against Seattle on Tuesday. Valentine thinks Beckett might have been tipping his pitches in the shelling last week against Cleveland, although that's the sort of coach speak that's regularly offered up when a pitcher struggles. What's the sign for a "please crush me" fastball? … Rafael Soriano closed up for the Yanks, in part because David Robertson has a sore left side. Robertson will get an MRI on Tuesday. … The White Sox had a tidy finish to their 7-5 victory over Detroit: Hector Santiago worked the seventh, Matt Thornton pitched the eighth, and Addison Reed was on for the ninth. It's encouraging to see Reed get a key assignment one day after his six-run meltdown. But just when you think you have a read on this club, Robin Ventura breaks out the 12-to-6 curveball. My endorsement, with some trepidation, remains with Reed for now.

Catchers are important. Without them, you're looking at a ridiculous amount of passed balls.

The ranks to follow illustrate how I'd attack the attack the catcher position if I entered a fresh draft today. To be clear, "attack" is probably the wrong word: I normally go cheap at this spot, especially in one-catcher league. But there are 1,000 ways to get to where we want to go.

Normal rules and disclaimers apply. Assume a 5x5 scoring rotisserie system. Anyone on the DL is ineligible for this list: the value of injured players varies greatly from format to format. I reserve the right to tweak this list as the day goes along. Bring your smartest debate to the comments; win the discussion, win the rank.

$21 Mike Napoli
$20 Carlos Santana
$20 Matt Wieters
$17 Buster Posey
$17 Brian McCann
$17 Yadier Molina
$16 Jesus Montero

I don't think anyone expected Mike Napoli to keep last year's surprising batting average, but he's tied to the best offense in the majors (by far) and he hasn't hit an Arlington spike yet (his OPS is 138 points higher on the road). A very safe place to park your money . . . The "on pace" game tends to be a waste of time more often than not, but just for grins, I'll mention that Yadier Molina is on pace for new career highs in all the counting stats (runs, homers, RBIs, steals). And even when the dog days of summer kick in, you can still figure on him playing six times a week, no matter what. When you add in his elite defense, he might be the most underrated player in baseball . . . It's far too early in Jesus Montero's career to make strong assumptions on anything, but let's note that he's posted a .373/.400/.686 line when catching this year (14 games), as opposed to a .183/.203/.239 washout when he's asked to DH. Let's also note that he hasn't been a defensive disaster behind the plate, as some were expecting. Montero was a better hitter against righties in his minor-league days, but thus far he's crushing lefties just fine, thank you. … Remember when Uncle Buck slotted Matt Wieters in the No. 8 position for most of the opening quarter last year? Good times. Wieters is locked into the No. 5 slot this year (and even that is probably too low; I'd bat him third or fourth). Wieters is also picking up DH at-bats this year when he's not playing; he's collected four starts at that position thus far in 2012, after three all of last year. In other words, pump up the volume — and get ready for some juicy counting stats.

$14 Joe Mauer
$13 Ryan Doumit
$12 Miguel Montero
$11 Carlos Ruiz
$11 Alex Avila
$10 Jarrod Saltalamacchia
$9 A.J. Pierzynski
$8 Jonathan Lucroy

Time for the monthly argument with the Joe Mauer Sympathizers. Batting average, check. Zesty OBP, check (but remember, these are 5x5 ranks, not hybrid ranks). Winning smile and great hair, always. But Mauer's power remains on back order (one piddly homer, .387 slugging), and the Twins have the worst offense in the American League (116 runs) . . . Ryan Doumit's best moments thus far, interestingly enough, have come at DH (and his numbers fall through the floor when he's asked to catch). I know, the samples are all small, but just have a look.

As for Miguel Montero, where did this strikeout problem come from? His K-rate is through the roof, and his swinging-strike number is a ridiculous 14 percent. Maybe it's time for the Snakes to admit Montero needs a dedicated platoon caddy: left-handed pitching has owned him since the 2010 season.

$7 J.P. Arencibia
$6 Schroeder
$5 A.J. Ellis
$4 Nick Hundley
$3 Ramon Hernandez
$3 Kurt Suzuki
$3 Russell Martin
$2 Jesus Flores

While A.J. Ellis's walk total clearly gets a boost from hitting eighth in the NL (he's been passed intentionally five times, and probably pitched around here and there), he still deserves credit for his discerning eye. A .462 OBP is impressive anywhere you can get it, and we also should note that Ellis has drawn 16 walks in 55 career at-bats out of the No. 7 slot. Ellis also has a .384 career OBP with the bases empty, which might be the best measure of his on-base skills. I suspect a more modern manager like Joe Maddon would consider Ellis for the top of the order (remember what Maddon did with John Jaso a few years ago), but Don Mattingly doesn't strike me as a progressive thinker, so we're stuck with the Dee Gordon Out Parade in the leadoff spot . . . Jesus Flores might pop a few homers for the Nats (he has 17 homers in 699 career at-bats), but otherwise he doesn't bring much to the table (.231/.273/.256). Washington is going to miss Wilson Ramos dearly . . . Schroeder gets kicked up an extra buck or two because he has to deal with Lucy Van Pelt all the time.

$1 Ryan Hanigan
$1 John Buck
$1 Geovany Soto
$1 Wilin Rosario
$1 Josh Thole
$1 Devin Mesoraco
$1 Hector Sanchez
$0 Yorvit Torrealba
$0 George Kottaras
$0 John Jaso
$0 Jason Castro
$0 Rod Barajas
$0 Jose Molina

Letting go of the past is difficult.

Owners burned previously by a high draft pick often act like grumpy old men. The mere mention of said player boils the blood leading the enraged to embark on an endless rant of disgust. Most stubbornly, the hate harbored by these victims creates long-holding grudges. Even entertaining the idea of investing their heart and soul into the same steamy pile of worthlessness, no matter how ripe the situation, ranks alongside death by clown torture, a frightening proposition.

Sadly, this is how millions living in Fantasyland feel about Ryan Mathews.

Roughly two weeks ago in what some are deeming the "Suckiest Mock Team Ever Assembled," yours truly selected the controversial rusher with the fifth overall pick in a standard 14-team draft. Normally commenters beneath Arcade entries criticize small grammatical errors, attempt to start fruitless "Fire (Insert Author)" campaigns or ramble about senseless drivel simply because they have the space to do so. However, in last week's mock recap (See full draft results here), the gallery focused its attention almost exclusively on my idiotic devotion to the alleged unreliable back. A taste:

Joseph C's perspective on Mathews is very fair. The first round is supposed to be about minimizing risk. But who says the Chargers workhorse can't be amazing? Below in bold are four common beliefs why Mathews is doomed to fail followed by my counterargument.

T.O.'s ego is more durable than Mathews

By far this is the strongest argument anyone can make for avoiding the hard-Charger, but not necessarily the brightest. Since football is a contact sport that requires exceptional mental and physical toughness, any running back is susceptible to injury. History provides proof. Of the 23 backs that busted over the past five seasons (Rushers drafted as RB1s in 12-team leagues that failed to finish inside the RB top-15) a whopping 14 or 60.8-percent failed to live up to expectation due to serious injury (missing at least three games).

The majority may feel Mathews would tear a tendon wrestling a stuffed animal, but last year he was surprisingly sturdy. Though bothered by the occasional nick or scrape, he gutted out 14 starts and grew stronger as the calender flipped. During his final five games of the season he averaged a sizable 21.4 touches and 15.6 fantasy points per game, an output that ranked eighth among rushers during that span.

Recall, without mandated OTAs due to the lockout, he entered camp last year flabby and out of shape which paved the way for Mike Tolbert to wrest away early season touches. Determined not to make the same mistake twice, he's hit the weight room hard and flipped monster-truck tires this offseason.

Mathews' numbers will suffer without Vincent Jackson stretching defenses

The absence of the enigmatic receiver won't negatively impact the plowshare's value as much as people think. Remember, with Tolbert now toiling in Carolina, Mathews will be Norv Turner's No. 1 option in a still explosive Chargers offense. Without question he will net roughly 22-25 touches per game. Part-time halfback/fullback Le'Ron McClain, Curtis Brinkley and seventh-round rookie Edwin Baker are distant figures in the review mirror. His integral role as a receiving back only supports the claim he's a top-tier RB1. Last year, he reeled in two fewer passes (50) than Matt Forte. In PPR formats, he's indispensable.

And let's not disrespect Robert Meachem, who Turner feels will flourish under his guidance. The wideout is more than capable of taking pressure off the running game. During his four-year stint with New Orleans he averaged a robust 16.1 yards per catch. The step from V-Jax to the former Saint really isn't that far down. Add in the return of Malcom Floyd, Vincent Brown and Antonio Gates along with the acquisition of Eddie Royal, and Philip Rivers has plenty of useful weapons to choose from. Wide running lanes could be plentiful.

Because of Mathews' fumbling problems, someone is bound to pilfer goal-line carries

McClain could poach a TD or two next season, but undoubtedly Mathews will be leaned on near the pylons. Most are convinced he secretes butter naturally from his hands, but he lost the same number of pills (two) as sure-handed rushers Marshawn Lynch and Ray Rice.

And don't forget Tolbert is no longer in the picture. A season ago, the rolling beer keg bested Mathews 36-to-19 in red-zone touches. With Tolbert gone, the Bolt should hog goal-line carries. Only five backs — Michael Turner, Arian Foster, Frank Gore, LeSean McCoy and Rice — registered 50-plus RZ carries last fall. This year, Mathews will easily eclipse that mark.

San Diego's offensive line is fair at best

This is the most laughable claim of the bunch. Approximately five-months away from opening week no one truly knows how rigid/flimsy an offensive line may be. Tennessee' O-line is a prime example. Entering last year, the Titans' trench warriors were consistently ranked near the top of the league in run-blocking, but, evident in CJ2LAME's woeful campaign, they couldn't open a hole for a cockroach. Sure, San Diego's line could struggle, but it could also perform brilliantly. It's way too early to make concrete assertions.

On paper, the Chargers return a strong nucleus up front. Down the homestretch in '11, the unit executed well in pass protection and created substantial wiggle room for Mathews. Even if it depreciates, the incumbent should electrocute the competition. He checked in with the fourth-highest yards-after-contact per attempt tally (3.2) among qualifying rushers last year. Simply, the man can grind out yards whether by ground or air.

Bottom Line: Mathews will be a consensus first-round pick even in unchallenging formats. Those who believe otherwise are only kidding themselves. Because of his growing workload, expected prominent goal-line role and versatility, any risks associated with the RB are outweighed by the possible enormous rewards. Speaking as CEO of Team Huevos, Mathews finishes as a top-five back in 2012.

Mark the Noise's words.

Fearless Forecast (15 games): 258 carries, 1,238 rushing yards, 60 receptions, 511 receiving yards, 13 total touchdowns

What's the best present for a Mom that has everything? Get her an at-bat against scuffling Mets reliever Frank Francisco. Mom will surely line a double in the gap — if Francisco ever gets around to throwing her a strike.

Francisco technically didn't get a blown save in Sunday's ugly loss to the Marlins, but it was a meltdown just the same. He was asked to protect a two-run lead in the ninth and couldn't record an out: Emilio Bonifacio tripled, John Buck walked and Greg Dobbs singled. In short order, the Marlins had a run in and the tying tally just 90 feet away.

Not content to merely unravel on the mound, Francisco then took dead aim at home plate umpire Todd Tichenor, storming to the plate and yelling some choice words (the men had to be separated). Only seven of Francisco's 15 pitches were strikes, but it looked like his complaints were reaching the intended target. Tichenor promptly gave Francisco the boot, and the Marlins wound up finishing the rally against journeyman reliever Manny Acosta. (The game ended on a grand slam from Giancarlo Stanton that probably landed on a beach in Bermuda somewhere. Absolutely crushed. Mercy.)

When you add Sunday's disaster to the ledger, Francisco now shows an 8.56 ERA and a 1.98 WHIP. He does offer 15 strikeouts over 13.3 innings, but he's also walked seven batters. He's been scored on in seven of his last 12 appearances, and he's suffered three losses on the year. How much evidence do the Mets need before they try something else in the ninth? (Perhaps manager Terry Collins is getting close: he says he'll address the closing situation Monday.)

If and when Collins is ready to shake things up, decent options are available. Jon Rauch worked a perfect eighth inning Sunday (one strikeout, nothing out of the infield), trimming his ERA to 2.93 and his WHIP to 0.98. He carries an impressive resume for the position: closing experience, intimidating height, a frightening neck tattoo. Bobby Parnell is another name to consider, off to a good start in 2012 (2.25 ERA, 16 strikeouts against three walks). He recorded six saves for the Mets over the last two months of 2011. Parnell didn't pitch Sunday, after working the two previous games.

Heath Bell grabbed a vulture win from Miami's heroics, despite allowing two runs of his own. It was standard work for any closer: tie score at home, top of the ninth. The host club can no longer record a save by that point. I still like Steve Cishek as a speculation hold in medium and deeper mixed leagues, where blood is shed for every handshake.

Place your bets, save chasers. Rauch is owned in just seven percent of Yahoo! leagues, while Parnell currently trades at two percent. They're out there, if you're ready to point and click. And if you want to open your heart to a spotty American League reliever, Brian Fuentes (named Oakland's closer on Saturday) is available in about 75 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

Tonight, with the Angels/Rangers clash the backdrop, tag-team partners Brandon Funston and Brad Evans host the mother of all fantasy chats.

Due to the bevy of torn ACLs, busted bullpens and Josh Hamilton moonshots that have impacted Fantasyland, questions should be aplenty. If you have any pressing inquiries or are simply fed up hanging out with your family, sneak away and join the hour-long party. Anything MLB, NFL or hot moms-related (strongly encouraged) is fair game.

No team gets an off-day in Week 7, so we have a heaping buffet of double-dip starters for you. You'd think that with a loaded slate like this nobody would have to think about using Josh Johnson, but things aren't that simple for all of us. I'm confident desperately hoping this will be the week that his BABIP finally dips below .400, and just maybe he'll pick up his first win in 2012.

Ozzie sounded encouraged after Johnson's last start, but of course it's his job to sound encouraged. Johnson is still delivering strikeouts at an acceptable rate (7.51 K/9) and he's allowed only one homer in seven starts, so he's doing a few things well. He's obviously had no luck on balls-in-play. That has to change at some point, right?

No?

Not even against the Pirates?

Well, if I can't sell any you cowards on JJ, there are plenty of other options listed below. It took me all day to knit this beautiful quilt of two-start pitchers. Really hope you enjoy it.

Also, please note that interleague play begins this week — the blood feud between the Indians and Marlins is renewed! — so please be mindful of potential DH benchings.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

OK, you win

Stephen Strasburg — SD (Bass), BAL (Chen)

You probably win, too, unless you're facing Strasburg

Clayton Kershaw — ARI (Kennedy), STL (Westbrook)
Zack Greinke — at NYM (Gee), MIN (Marquis)
Cliff Lee — HOU (Lyles), BOS (Beckett)

Heartily endorsed

Anibal Sanchez — PIT (Bedard), at CLE (Gomez)
Ryan Dempster — at STL (Westbrook), CHW (Danks)
Tim Lincecum — COL (Guthrie), OAK (Colon)
Ian Kennedy — at LAD (Kershaw), at KC (Chen)

Quietly endorsed

Josh Johnson — PIT (Correia), at CLE (Lowe)
Kyle Lohse — CHC (Maholm), at LAD (Billingsley)
Ross Detwiler — SD (Stauffer), BAL (Hammel)
Yovani Gallardo — at NYM (Batista), MIN (Pavano)
Chad Billingsley — ARI (Miley), STL (Lohse)

Situationally endorsed

Ryan Vogelsong — COL (Friedrich), OAK (Ross)
Jake Westbrook — CHC (Dempster), at LAD (Kershaw)
Joe Blanton — HOU (Harrell), BOS (Lester)
Erik Bedard — at MIA (Sanchez), at DET (Smyly)
Wade Miley — at LAD (Billingsley), at KC (TBA)
Anthony Bass — at WAS (Strasburg), LAA (Santana)
Johnny Cueto — at ATL (Hudson), at NYY (Sabathia)
Tim Hudson — CIN (Cueto), at TB (Price)
Tim Stauffer — at WAS (Detwiler), LAA (Haren)

You've gone rogue

Dillon Gee — MIL (Greinke), at TOR (Alvarez)
Christian Friedrich — at SF (Vogelsong), SEA (Vargas)
Randall Delgado — CIN (Bailey), at TB (Niemann)

Yikes. How did it come to this?

Paul Maholm — at STL (Lohse), CHW (Peavy)
Homer Bailey — at ATL (Delgado), at NYY (Nova)
Jeremy Guthrie — at SF (Lincecum), SEA (Beavan)
Lucas Harrell — at PHI (Blanton), TEX (Feliz)
Jordan Lyles — at PHI (Lee), TEX (Lewis)
Miguel Batista — MIL (Gallardo), at TOR (Morrow)
Kevin Correia — at MIA (Johnson), at DET (Scherzer)

AMERICAN LEAGUE

You don't need an expert for this

Dan Haren — OAK (Ross), at SD (Stauffer)
Brandon Morrow — TB (Niemann), NYM (Batista)
Jake Peavy — DET (Scherzer), at CHC (Maholm)
David Price — at TOR (Alvarez), ATL (Hudson)
CC Sabathia — at BAL (Chen), CIN (Cueto)

Approved for heavy use

Colby Lewis — LAA (TBA), HOU (Lyles)
Jon Lester — SEA (Vargas), at PHI (Blanton)
Drew Smyly — at CHW (Danks), PIT (Bedard)
Derek Lowe — at MIN (Marquis), MIA (Johnson)
Jeff Niemann — at TOR (Morrow), ATL (Delgado)

Approved for use in moderation

Max Scherzer — at CHW (Peavy), PIT (Correia)
Ervin Santana — OAK (Colon), at SD (Bass)
Bartolo Colon — at LAA (Santana), at SF (Lincecum)
John Danks — DET (Smyly), at CHC (Dempster)
Ivan Nova — at BAL (Hammel), CIN (Bailey)
Henderson Alvarez — TB (Price), NYM (Gee)
Jason Hammel — NYY (Nova), at WAS (Detwiler)

Not officially approved, but I'll look the other way

Jason Vargas — at BOS (Lester), at COL (Friedrich)
Josh Beckett — SEA (Beavan), at PHI (Lee)
Bruce Chen — at TEX (Feldman), ARI (Kennedy)
Wei-Yin Chen — NYY (Sabathia), at WAS (Strasburg)
Jeanmar Gomez — at MIN (Pavano), MIA (Sanchez)

Please, do not do this thing

Carl Pavano — CLE (Gomez), at MIL (Gallardo)
Jason Marquis — CLE (Lowe), at MIL (Greinke)
Tyson Ross — at LAA (Haren), at SF (Vogelsong)
Blake Beavan — at BOS (Beckett), at COL (Guthrie)

You're not officially in the Circle of Trust until I add you to my phone's custom dictionary. Welcome to the club, Josh Reddick. You've forced your way into the mix.

Reddick was the big star (man, I miss Alex Chilton) in Friday's 11-4 romp over the Tigers, going 4-for-4 with a couple of homers and a stolen base. Reddick was already having a useful fantasy year, but this outburst pushes his stats into an area where even those in thin leagues have to take notice. Oakland's right fielder has a nifty .292-23-8-19-4 line through the opening 33 games of the year. If you prorate his stats to a full season, Reddick winds up with 112 runs, 39 homers, 93 RBIs and 19 steals. Sounds like someone who should be owned in more than 39 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

No one really expects Reddick to keep up this pace, of course. He was never a buzzy prospect back in his Boston days (only once did he show up in Baseball America's Top 100 prospects), and his 184-game sample at Triple-A was mediocre (.243/.300/.449, though he hit 32 homers). He's already 25. If something's going to happen, it needs to happen soon.

That established, Oakland is going to give Reddick time and space to develop; on opportunity and volume alone, he's an intriguing roto commodity. He's entrenched as the team's No. 3 hitter (even on a bad offense, that's a great slot for fantasy numbers) and his plus defense protects his job. Reddick has also shown the ability to hit left-handed pitching, through a limited big-league sample of 93 at-bats (.290/.347/.484). Ultimately his growth against right-handed pitching (for his career he's at .252/.294/.444) will determine how far he can go.

Reddick could use some work on his walk and strikeout rates (6.4 and 17.7, respectively), and that pretty .292 average isn't likely to stick (a .343 BABIP is a mild reach for him). But Reddick is also making a lot of his own luck through a 22.9 percent line drive rate, and any player who mixes power and speed as he does will always be relevant in our games. Move around some deck chairs, see if you can find a home for Reddick. Every offense in the majors has something to offer us.

There's one other thing I like about Reddick, even though it's not directly tied to a fantasy category. There's a swagger to his game, a visible confidence; he seems like the type of player who will quickly become a leader on the A's. He's fun to watch. He reminds me a little bit of the Nick Swisher we saw in Oakland, or Jayson Werth's best days in Philadelphia. Kick the tires on this one, I like where the story is headed.

Sticking in Oakland for one more minute, there's a fluky streak going on with new third baseman Brandon Inge. He's collected four homers and 16 RBIs in his last five games, with half of the damage coming against his former Detroit club. Inge's batting average is forever a problem (.234 for his career) and I wouldn't bother with him in a shallow or medium mixer, but he might be worth a short-term rental in deeper leagues while this streak runs itself out. He qualifies at two positions (second, third) and he can still run into a fastball now and then, as my friend Alex Patton likes to say. Inge is available for pickup in 94 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• Everyone sick of Robin Ventura and his pitching staff shenanigans, raise your hand and say "aye." Count me in. I've had it with this story, but so long as it generates news every day, we have to keep talking about it.

According to the White Sox (and that's the key disclaimer whenever you sleuth around Ace Ventura), Chris Sale's MRI came back clean and the lefty will probably re-enter the rotation Saturday against Kansas City. I'd love to see Sale hold up physically because I see star potential in him, no matter what role he's asked to fill. I didn't get any Sale shares in March but I regret that; if the elbow and shoulder don't bark, he's going to bite.

How are the White Sox going to handle the closer situation now that Sale, apparently, is out of the mix? Let's go to MLB.com and listen to what Ventura said before Friday's 5-0 victory:

So who's the closer?

"Whoever ends up in the ninth inning," Ventura said. "We're back to that."

Rookies Addison Reed and Hector Santiago, plus veteran lefty Matt Thornton have all saved games so far this season, and Ventura said he'll continue to play mix and match with that trio.

"Addy had looked great at it," Ventura said. "With Jesse [Crain] being on the DL, it kind of moves people around a little bit. The last week, we kind of moved some people around in that role. I don't see that changing.

"We've got the opportunity to use Matt, Addison and Hector in that role. You're seeing what [opponents] are lined up with and [we'll] go from there."

So if we're to take Ventura at his word (always a dicey proposition), it's a committee in Chicago. But most fantasy owners don't have the space (or the willingness) to load up om Chicago relievers. Most of us need to guess on a best option, then hope for the best — and if I have one shot to take here, today, I'm backing Reed.

Thornton and Santiago both worked at the end of Friday's victory, recording the final four outs in support of surprising Gavin Floyd (2.53/0.95). Thornton had to carry the set-up burden in the eighth inning: he was given access to a possible blown save, but he had no real chance of finishing the game out and picking up the handshake. He struck out Eric Hosmer on four pitches (leaving the bases loaded), then retired to the showers. Santiago was sharp (12 pitches, eight strikes) in a perfect, stress-free ninth inning.

Perhaps this means Reed was being saved for a standard save chance, or maybe this means Ventura liked how Santiago matched up against Jeff Francoeur and Mike Moustakas. When you're ahead by five runs in the ninth inning, strategy isn't that critical. No one can speculate on this bullpen with any confidence, but Reed's pedigree (he was a star closer in college and zoomed through the minors) and performance this year (10 scoreless innings, three walks, 14 strikeouts) make a strong statement.

• It was a recycling special at Fenway Park on Friday night, as scuffling right-handers Ubaldo Jimenez and Clay Buchholz matched up. Fantasy owners watched with nervous energy, in the park and on the Twitter.

Jimenez quickly undid all the progress from his previous turn, giving up nine hits and seven runs before taking the walk of shame in the bottom of the fifth. I can't think of any standard format where I'd want him on my roster. When you have more walks than strikeouts for the season (and in your last turn), you're dead to me. How can this guy be rostered in 69 percent of Yahoo! leagues? Give up the ghost. Don't run into a burning building.

Buchholz finally put a stop to his crooked-number tour (6.1 IP, 8 H, 4 R, 3 R, 3 BB, 0 K), but for a "good" outing, this really wasn't that promising. That zero in the strikeout column is an obvious problem, and like his Cleveland counterpart, Buchholz has more walks than whiffs for the season. Say what you want about Buchholz as a teammate or golfing buddy, but I don't have any faith in him right now — and certainly not next week at Tampa Bay. It's a shame the Red Sox never flipped Buchholz a few years ago, when he was highly regarded around baseball.

• Rafael Dolis had a chance to mark his territory as the Cubs closer, but he failed at Milwaukee. Dolis squandered a two-run lead in ugly fashion (four-pitch walk, two-run homer), and The Sveumheads went on to lose in 13 innings. Had Dolis come through here, it would have extended the leash nicely given that Carlos Marmol (two outs, two runs) and Michael Bowden (one out, two runs) both struggled. Marmol landed on the disabled list after the game; he's dealing with a sore hamstring.

Dolis surely needs a day off after throwing 41 pitches over two frames, so James Russell probably goes to temporary head of the committee line. Russell worked a scoreless eighth, dodging a walk and pushing his stunning ERA down to 0.68. I still don't trust a lefty who hasn't proven he can get righties out through his career, but this isn't my bullpen to manage. Kerry Wood also offered up two scoreless innings, though he walked three batters and missed the zone on 14 of 25 pitches. If I were redrafting today, I'd rank Dolis the highest Chicago reliever, followed by Russell. I'm also surprised journeyman Shawn Camp hasn't pushed his way to the late innings — he's been reliable in middle relief (3.18/1.24, four walks against 14 strikeouts).

• Mike Minor's been rocked for 21 runs in his last three starts, pushing the ERA to 6.59, but I'm not giving up on him. Two of the messy turns came with logical explanations attached (dates at St. Louis — the best offense in the NL — and Colorado), and he's still telling a bankable story in the K/BB columns (41 punchouts over 42.1 innings, against just 12 walks). His FIP trims down to 4.39, his xFIP is a solid 3.53, and even Minor's WHIP (1.39) is unparallel to his ERA. Look for a major improvement next week against Miami (assuming the Braves don't overreact to the variance and do something stupid). In mono leagues or deeper mixed pools, it's a terrific time to buy low.

• Dee Gordon's lukewarm price in the latest Shuffle Up came into question a handful of times, so let's go under the microscope. Gordon isn't doing much other than stealing bases in 2012 (12 swipes in 17 attempts); this is a one-trick pony all the way. A modest 14 runs won't move the needle, he's never going to be a power guy, and his spotty defense (nine errors) might eventually force the Dodgers to consider a change at the position. I do expect the club to try to be patient with Baby Flash, but when you carry a .218/.258/.282 batting line and you're not a plus defender, you're not working with an infinite leash. His high-strikeout, low-walk profile also presents a problem in the leadoff spot.

Speed Round: It was a good night for big names doing deep twice: take a bow, Josh Hamilton, Carlos Beltran and Jose Bautista. Not everyone has completely bought in on the Hamilton Story: the fine folks who discuss roto at Fangraphs ranked their rest-of-the-season outfielders Friday and Hamilton landed at No. 7. Beltran, for what it's worth, checked in at No. 26. Hey, it's a game of differing opinions. … Frank Francisco hasn't been sharp in 2012, though his Friday meltdown was just his second blown save of the year. Might be a good time to check the availability of Jon Rauch (man, that neck tattoo is scary) and Bobby Parnell. … Things are back to normal in the Miami bullpen, at least on paper. Heath Bell (I'd like 10,000 marbles, please) has been returned to the closing gig. The somewhat-overrated Edward Mujica had a messy eighth inning Friday (one out, three runs); I'm surprised some view him as the preferred hedge to Bell in this bullpen. Flounder then came on for a clean ninth, in what looked like a "get work" appearance; it turned into a victory when Francisco imploded in the bottom of the inning. If you're going to own any Miami relief pitcher not named Bell, it really should be Steve Cishek. … Can you still trade high on Bryce Harper's buzz? His stat line through 12 games isn't anything special: .233/.333/.372, five runs, three RBIs, one steal and one caught stealing. He hasn't homered yet. I'm completely sold on his eventual stardom, but it's awfully hard to be a star in The Show at age 19. Tomorrow and next year tends to be the overrated in most fantasy leagues; when in doubt, play for today, trust what you already know to be true. … Even when John Axford blows a save, he's still the coolest guy in the room. Check out what happened with The Axman after Friday's messy appearance. His command hasn't been sharp this year (seven walks), but I still fully trust in the Milwaukee closer (and those 20 strikeouts over 10.1 innings). Francisco Rodriguez isn't applying any pressure, either (have a look at his crooked numbers). Axman, Forever.

The rich just got richer.

The defending World Champs, a team that lost its franchise face during the offseason, might be stronger offensively than it was a year ago. Carlos Beltran has turned back the clock. David Freese has elevated his game. And sparkplug Allen Craig has provided a major jolt in recent days. However, with Lance Berkman returning from the D.L. imminently, Mike Matheny has a good problem on his hands. Owners heavily invested in Redbirds hope he makes the right decision.

On tonight's gripping episode, Brandon Funston and Brad Evans sifted through the murky waters of the Mississippi to break down what Berkman's upcoming activation means to Craig's long-term value. Additionally, we decided whether Josh Hamilton is sell-high material, predicted when Anthony Rizzo will get the call, flew on the Saves Circus trapeze and determined whether we believe or make believe in Josh Beckett.

And don't worry fantasy footballers, we covered you too. Boss Man and the Big Noise spun their recent 14-team PPR mock. What were the top-five picks? Where did recovering rushers Adrian Peterson and Jamaal Charles go? Will Round 2 be loaded with discounted, reliable rushers?

Too busy shopping for mom? No problem. Listen to the replay below:

LISTEN TO PART I HERE (NFL)

LISTEN TO PART II HERE (MLB)

LISTEN TO PART III HERE (MLB)

Most of you know I grew up in New England, and I'm going to be a Boston Red Sox fan all my life. All I want from every Red Sox season is to be entertained; give me a team that's really good or mockably bad and generally I'm happy.

Be careful what you wish for. The 2012 Red Sox are easy on the punchline, harsh on your ERA.

The Josh Beckett golf controversy dates back to last week, but the teeing off didn't really start until Thursday night's start against Cleveland. The Indians rocked Beckett for seven hits and seven runs over 2.1 messy innings, line drives all over the yard (and two into the seats). The Fenway Park faithful showered Beckett with a deafening chorus of boos as he took the walk of shame in the top of the third.

Shortly after the game, the columnists loaded up and took dead aim. They had plenty to work with, as Beckett was his typical stubborn and unlikable self in the interview room. (If you think I'm being harsh in that assessment, wait until you read what Yahoo's Jeff Passan had to say, or the take from long-time Boston beat-writer Sean MacAdam. Grip it and rip it.)

Mixed-league fantasy owners are in on the dogpile, too. Is it time to drop Beckett, his lagging fastball and his 5.97 ERA? Almost 6,000 Yahoo! players have done just that over the last 30 hours.

I've never fully understood the fascination with Beckett in the first place; for my roto money, he's been one of the most overrated pitchers in baseball for some time. Let's consider some of Beckett's Boston numbers over the last six-plus years:

-- Beckett has a 4.10 ERA and 1.217 WHP since joining the Red Sox in 2006. Those aren't horrendous numbers, but they doesn't match up to the ace reputation Beckett generally holds. If you carried those ratios into the Yahoo Friends & Family League (a mixer with 13 owners), you'd be second-to-last in ERA and middle of the pack in WHIP. You'd need a lot of help elsewhere.

-- The righty has a career 4.33 ERA and 1.21 WHIP at Fenway Park. It's hard to trust him at home. He's getting no kickback from the Dirty Water.

-- Run for cover when Beckett faces the Yankees (5.36/1.43) or Blue Jays (6.30/1.46), teams that are unfortunately in his division. They've owned him during the Boston days. Beckett does have an excellent career mark against Tampa Bay (2.84/.0.99), and his Baltimore numbers (4.25/1.21) are similar to his overall career in the American League.

Sharp fantasy players who use advanced stats will have little trouble defending Beckett, should they want to. While Beckett's fielding-independent ERA for this season is similar to his current number, the ERA trims to 4.33 if you use the xFIP metric (a stat that largely forgives the sins of the gopher ball). In the eyes of many (if not most), Beckett's HR/FB rate of 18.4 is an outlier, bad luck, something destined to normalize.

I'll accept that line of reasoning — to a point. Beckett's career HR/FB is 11.0, so that's a more realistic number to expect from him. But we also have to consider that it's common for Beckett to underperform his peripherally-suggested ERA.

Beckett's xFIP was significantly below his standard ERA in 2006, 2008, 2009 and 2010. In 2007, the numbers were almost dead even. Beckett finally had a "lucky" year in 2011, logging a 2.89 ERA as opposed to his 3.58 xFIP. At some point the bad luck theme doesn't work for me; at some point a while ago I accepted that underperforming the xFIP metric is something to expect from Beckett, at least while he's at his current address.

I understand that Beckett is toiling in the most difficult pitching environment in baseball, which means he's probably better in real life than the standard stats would suggest. He works in the big-boy division, the Offensive Disneyland of the majors. Four of the five parks in the AL East are chummy for scoring and/or home runs, and Boston faces a formidable opponent every night in the AL East (well, if you believe in the Orioles; otherwise, it's three strong opponents and one pesky one). There's no Petco Park to bail Beckett out; the Pirates aren't walking through that door; pitchers don't hit in the AL, and no one really bunts early in a game (other than you, Ron Washington). American League baseball is about tapping the keg, swinging from the heels, playing for the big inning.

But we don't live in the real world here; we're chasing stats in the fantasy world. And as I've said many times in this column, why walk uphill if you don't have to? The beauty of a mixed league is that you can load up on NL pitchers or matchup streams for the majority of your starts, should you prefer to go that way. Pick on the Twins, lean on the A's, go surfing in some of those roomy National League parks. Good work if you can get it.

Beckett is still owned in 87 percent of Yahoo! leagues, a number I consider a little silly. In AL-only formats, sure, you have to keep him. Maybe you have to do the same in a deep mixed league. But I'd be looking to deal Beckett in those pools (maybe wait for one good start first), and if you're playing in a shallow or medium-sized mixer, it's time to write out the pink-slip. One way ticket: Dump City. It's not that hard to find reliable pitching in 2012. It's time to play through, gamer.

• I've been promoting Andy Dirks all week (in this space, or in a handful of Twitter hits, here and here and here), so most of the next section will be a review. Basically it's time to sound the "last call" on Dirks, your final chance to get him in some more-competitive mixers. His ownership tag has swelled from two percent to 11 percent over the past few days.

Dirks was kind enough to have his biggest game of the season late on Thursday, a 4-for-4 barrage at Oakland (roll the tape). He collected three singles, a homer and a walk, scored a couple of runs; he's now rocking a .383/.413/.683 line for the season. The sweet-swinging lefty is 10-for-17 since Jim Leyland moved Dirks into the No. 2 spot, and obviously that's a sweet spot (Austin Jackson in front of you, and more importantly, Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder behind you). And the fun really hasn't started yet with the Tigers offense; Detroit is currently 12th in the majors in runs scored, but I'll bet my Sparky Anderson bobblehead on the club finishing much higher when the year is complete.

In the interest of balance, there is some red ink here. Dirks has been dealing with a tender hamstring this week, and occasionally he'll sit against a tough lefty. He had a pedestrian 2011 debut in Detroit, and his minor-league resume was ordinary, nothing great. You've never seen the 26-year-old outfielder on any buzzy prospect lists, and his low walk rate can't be completely ignored. Nonetheless, it's time to accept that Dirks could have the breakthrough season a lot of us were expecting from Brennan Boesch, especially when you consider the cushy setup.

Bottom line, there's plausible upside here, and that's all smart owners need to see before making a mixed-league move. If you wait around for proof in a competitive mixer, you're dead money waiting to get slaughtered. Kick the tires and see where this story takes you, boogie down with some Motown Nights. I'd be willing to drop Cody Ross (50 percent owned), J.D. Martinez (38 percent), Peter Bourjos (32 percent, though I'd like him if he goes to Washington), Mitch Moreland (22 percent) or even Ty Wigginton (17 percent) for Dirks right now. Who's with me?

Snippets: The Blue Jays signed Vladimir Guerrero to a minor-league contract; eventually, this might cost Adam Lind some playing time (Guerrero could DH with Edwin Encarnacion shifting to the field). Lind can't hit lefties anyway, so some sort of time share might make sense. Guerrero will have to hack his way onto my mixed-league rosters; I'm not bothering with him right now. … Add Chris Sale's agent to the list of people absolutely befuddled by Chicago's handling of the young ace. The agent obviously has an obvious agenda, sure, but I can't disagree with his conclusions. Sale was scheduled for an MRI on his elbow but the team hasn't released anything publicly yet. And given the controlled nature of the Robin Ventura era, I'm not holding my breath for any helpful information. … Henderson Alvarez doesn't miss a lot of bats, but he had little trouble in Minnesota (7 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 2 K), cruising to an easy victory. You can kick back all you want, Twins Sympathizers, but your club is the lowest-scoring outfit in the American League. We're going to pick on you when we can. I like Rick Porcello (honest) against them next week. … David Robertson needed a day off Thursday so Rafael Soriano picked up the rogue save against Tampa Bay. Soriano allowed one cheap run (single, steal, ground out, ground out), little consequence in New York's 5-3 victory. As dominant as Robertson can be when he's on his game, he'll need to keep his control in check if he wants to keep the ninth inning. Soriano remains an intriguing hedge play. Curtis Granderson and Robinson Cano (three hits) sparked the victory with homers off David Price; I'm pretty sure Cano's blast hasn't landed yet. … I should have known something was up when the unsolicited Brett Gardner trade offers started rolling in. Sure enough, Gardner's hit a setback in his elbow rehab, pushing him back multiple weeks. Joe Girardi says Gardner won't pick up a bat for the next 10 days. Memo to roto opponents: I have the Internet, too.

Today's assignment: ranking the middle infielders in the Yahoo! game. If you have second base or shortstop eligibility, good health and a whit of fantasy value, you're on this list.

A few rules and disclaimers apply, of course. Assume rotisserie scoring and 5x5 categories. Players at the same dollar amount are considered even. Don't worry about the prices in a vacuum; what really matters is how the players relate to one another.

Anyone on the DL is held off the list; injured players have largely relative values and I'm not going to debate them. What's happened to this point is merely an audition: the goal here is to rank the commodities based on how I'd attack a new league that starts right now.

I reserve the right to tweak this list as the day and night goes along, and I'll add extra comments after a burrito and a margarita. And I welcome your respectful disagreement as we look for the tightest ranks possible. Win the debate, win the rank. But be sure to include logic and facts with your disagreements; bring your best skills. Respect the room, and for the love of all things holy, respect thyself.

And remember the golden rule of fantasy: a player doesn't gain 25 percent bonus value simply because he's on your roster.

Make the jump and we'll rank some ballplayers.

$31 Robinson Cano
$30 Ian Kinsler
$28 Dustin Pedroia
$28 Troy Tulowitzki
$24 Hanley Ramirez
$24 Jose Reyes
$23 Starlin Castro
$23 Michael Cuddyer
$22 Jason Kipnis
$22 Asdrubal Cabrera
$22 Ben Zobrist
$22 Michael Young
$21 Derek Jeter
$21 Kelly Johnson
$20 Elvis Andrus

It should be painfully obvious to everyone, but yes, I'd buy low on Cano (in the unlikely event that you can actually do that). The deep New york lineup presents an attractive floor, and Cano has proven to be durable in what's a high-attrition positon. … If I knew for sure Kinsler could last for 150 games, I might have him at the top of this list. If you want to rank him No. 1, I won't argue with you. … Reyes started running over the last week or so, which saves his slot for now. … Okay, maybe that Andrus-Aviles deal wasn't in my best interest. But if I can't have Andrus, I'm glad my good friend Andy Behrens gets to enjoy him.

$19 Howie Kendrick
$19 Brandon Phillips
$18 Dan Uggla
$17 Jimmy Rollins
$16 Allen Craig
$15 Mike Aviles
$15 Jose Altuve
$14 Rafael Furcal
$13 Jed Lowrie
$13 Rickie Weeks
$12 Kyle Seager
$12 J.J. Hardy
$12 Omar Infante
$12 Emilio Bonifacio
$12 Dee Gordon
$12 Aaron Hill

I've been thinking all week about the Rickie Weeks ranking, and I'm not going to make any adjustment to it. This is where I'm comfortable pricing him. Yes, I would deal him for Lowrie or Furcal or Altuve (or anyone above him on this list), in a second. If you disagree, that's fine: that's why we have a game in the first place.

Sure, some of the bad-luck stats defend Weeks: that .216 BABIP jumps out at you. But Weeks isn't helping matters with his puny 11.7 line-drive rate (that's terrible) and a mild push in his fly-ball rate (balls in the air are less likely to be hits). And his strikeout rate is completely out of control, swelling to 28 percent.

But there's a second part to my Weeks pessimism: I started to ask myself, "Why is this guy so coveted in the first place?" He's always had decent pop, so that's part of the attraction, fine. But a career .252 average doesn't help, you, and he's become less and less of a factor on the bases in recent years (nine steals last year, 11 the previous season, just two in an abbreviated 2009). And then there's the injury risk you take on with Weeks: he's managed one full season since he made it to the majors for good in the middle of 2005. I'm not going to argue that every injury is something you can blame on Weeks, but I know two things: he plays a position that's all about collisions, and he gets hit by a lot of pitches every season because he crowds the plate. Some guys have a way of finding bad luck.

As for Gordon, he isn't doing much other than stealing bases in 2012 (12 swipes in 17 attempts); this is a one-trick pony all the way. A modest 14 runs won't move the needle, he's never going to be a power guy, and his spotty defense (nine errors) might eventually force the Dodgers to consider a change at the position. I do expect the club to try to be patient with Baby Flash, but when you carry a .218/.258/.282 batting line and you're not a plus defender, you're not working with an infinite leash. His high-strikeout, low-walk profile also presents a problem in the leadoff spot.

$11 Alcides Escobar
$11 Dustin Ackley
$11 Neil Walker
$10 Ian Desmond
$9 Jemile Weeks
$8 Jhonny Peralta
$7 Zack Cozart
$7 Erick Aybar
$6 Daniel Murphy
$6 Alexei Ramirez
$4 Yunel Escobar
$3 Robert Andino
$3 Tyler Greene

Say this for the A's, they've been patient with Kid Weeks: he's batted leadoff in every start this year. And at least he's still walking (11 free passes) and running (seven bags in nine attempts), with a couple of homers thrown in. Don't blame the home park: the OPS drops 191 points on the road through the first 20 percent of the year. A lot of the secondary numbers for Weeks are similar to what he showed last year: no major change in his contact rate, walk rate or line-drive rate. Mash it all together and there's a possible buy-low angle here.

It's nice that Cozart is hitting first or second nightly, but it hasn't padded his running totals (just one steal). Right now he's just a three-category player at best. … I'd bump Peralta a dollar or two if he'd spell his first name right. … Ramirez has never been a category juice guy, but he was chased in a lot of my mono or deep mixers this year, for reasons I haven't figured out. … Murphy is another player who gives you solid average, but little category juice.

$2 Mark Ellis
$2 Danny Espinosa
$2 Ryan Roberts
$2 Alexi Casilla
$2 Ruben Tejada
$2 Chris Getz
$2 Marco Scutaro
$2 Cliff Pennington
$2 Sean Rodriguez
$2 Maicer Izturis
$2 Gordon Beckham
$2 Eduardo Nunez
$1 Cody Ransom
$1 Tyler Pastornicky
$1 Darwin Barney
$1 Ryan Raburn
$1 Jeff Keppinger
$1 Brandon Inge
$1 Willie Bloomquist
$1 Skip Schumaker
$0 Brendan Ryan
$0 Juan Uribe
$0 Clint Barmes
$0 Ryan Theriot

Mmmm, burrito. I will return in a couple of hours. The floor is yours.

Yes, this column is often centered around bullpens, especially in the Great Closer Drought of 2012. Get used to it, gamers. There's sand at the beach, a salad is supposed to be cold, and talking is frowned upon at the library; some stuff you're supposed to know up front. If save chasing isn't your thing, we have several other interesting pieces of content for your enjoyment.

Sorry folks, they don't close in Florida. The moose out front should have told you, or perhaps Roy Walley himself. Get everyone into the station wagon and let's sort through this.

All of the key players in Miami's bullpen worked Wednesday in Houston. It turned into a 5-3 victory for the Marlins, so Ozzie Guillen can't be too upset. But the smooth landing some of us wanted for Steve Cishek in the ninth didn't happen.

Cishek's blown save looks a lot worse in the box score than it did on the video. The Astros scratched across a run on two cheap hits — a dunk to right and a bloop to left. Giancarlo Stanton made the first hit worse than it should have been; rather than conceding a single to Carlos Lee, Stanton left his feet and tried to make a heroic catch. He failed miserably, and as a result Lee chugged all the way to third base, a gift triple for Colt 45.

The other big names in the bullpen did their jobs. Edward Mujica had an uneventful eighth inning (1-2-3, 18 pitches), and Heath Bell was surprisingly tidy in the tenth inning (one hit, just 10 pitches). It might take more than one good outing for Bell to get his closing gig back, but he certainly took a step in the right direction here. Most of his problems in 2012 have come from spotty control (10 walks over 9.2 innings). Randy Choate and Ryan Webb combined to record the final six outs.

Add it all up and it might be a good time to attempt a buy-low on Bell; as we've said a few times in this column, the team has 27 million reasons to try to get him straightened out. And I also envision Cishek being a valuable reliever in most fantasy formats, even if he's not closing for long; he's capable of working multiple innings in any appearance, and he doesn't have any platoon deficiencies despite being a sidewinder. A lot of pitchers with low arm slots struggle in this regard, but Cishek is an exception to that rule; he's dominant against righties, and still very good against lefties. 

Josh Johnson also got off the skids here, working seven smooth innings (4 H, 2 R, 2 BB, 6 K) and trimming his ERA down to 5.87. His win got lost in the ninth-inning mail, but it's simply encouraging to see him back in form. And don't blow off the meaning of a strong turn in Houston; the Astros are fourth in the National League in runs. The bad-luck indicators stand behind Johnson (his FIP currently stands at 2.79 and he's lived through a ridiculous .403 BABIP), so there's no reason to radically change your opinion on him.

I can't guarantee you Johnson will stay healthy all year, but he should be a Top 30 pitcher (at minimum) when he's in uniform. He's at home against Pittsburgh (the lowest scoring team in the majors, by far) next week. On paper, that's a cushy assignment.

• Momentum is a big part of the save chase. If you convert today, the skipper is likely to give you a chance tomorrow. Managers like simplicity and defined roles in most instances. And with that in mind, Casey Janssen might be a reliever going places in Toronto.

The Blue Jays finally changed up their ninth-inning plan after Tuesday's ugly loss in Oakland. Francisco Cordero has been a mess in the ninth inning (he'd be the first guy to tell you), forcing an adjustment. Janssen was named the new closer before Wednesday's matinee, and he passed the eye test in an easy first assignment (ground out, strikeout, fly out). Ten of Janssen's 15 pitches were strikes and he was painting the corners.

The key to appreciating Janssen's current value is looking past that bloated 4.76 ERA; you get a better gauge of his value from the 0.97 WHIP or the 12 strikeouts against one walk. And he was one of the most reliable relievers in John Farrell's bullpen last year (2.26 ERA, 1.10 WHIP, six wins, two saves). Sergio Santos (shoulder) just started throwing this week; he might want to step on that rehab pace before Janssen rolls off a handful of saves and presents a difficult decision in Toronto.

Janssen is only 10-for-18 on save conversions during his career, but throw that stat in the trash immediately — it's just about meaningless for any reliever who works outside the ninth inning. When you're a setup man who pitches in the sixth, seventh or eighth, you will routinely be asked to protect leads (sometimes with no room for error) in games that you have no shot at finishing. Said a different way, you get a chance to blow a save but you rarely get a chance to covert the save. The only blown saves that should matter to us for evaluation purposes are ninth-inning collapses.

Janssen's ownership level jumped to 19 percent on Wednesday, but there's still time to get in on this one. Toronto's off to a 17-14 start (even with the Cordero mess) and this should be a playoff-contending club all year. Someone's going to get a lot of handshakes in the YYZ this summer; Santos still looks like the favorite, but until we know he's fully healthy, this is a fluid situation.

• A lot of fantasy owners forgot about Andres Torres when he injured his calf early in the season, but he's healthy again and raking for the Mets. Torres collected two more hits in Wednesday's romp over the Phillies, making him 12-for-34 (one homer, eight RBIs, five walks) in his nine games off the DL. There's only one steal over that span for Torres, but at least he's been trying (three attempts). You'll find the leadoff man available for pickup in 97 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

The Phillies are reeling after getting swept by the Mets, at home no less. Cliff Lee was solid in his first start off the disabled list (6 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 BB, 6 K) but everything fell apart during Kyle Kendrick's terrible seventh inning (five runs). Charlie Manuel's club is one of the few in 2012 without a closer problem (Jon Papelbon has been terrific most of the year, other than Monday's meltdown), but the rest of the bullpen has been terrible; Philadelphia's relief ERA (5.59) is the worst in the majors. You generally don't want to write any team off a mere 20 percent into the season, but I'd be surprised if the Phillies made the playoffs this year. This is an old club with cracks in the foundation.

• It's time to adopt a new theme with the Cubs closing situation: Rafael Dolis, why not? His early control problems this spring made him reliever non grata in the eyes of many, but it hasn't been an issue lately: Dolis doesn't have a walk in his last eight appearances. And there are other things to like here: his fastball sits in the 94-95 range and he's inducing ground balls 50 percent of the time. That latter stat is critical for any reliever who pitches to contact; despite the decent velocity, Dolis only has five strikeouts in 19.1 innings.

Bottom line, here's another vote to momentum: Dolis has a win and two saves in his last three appearances (the latest handshake came Wednesday), and don't be fooled by his blown save back on May 3 — he inherited a bases-loaded jam in the ninth that day (thanks, Carlos Marmol) and was unjustly hit with the BS tag despite an immediate double-play grounder. Dolis is only owned in 32 percent of Yahoo! leagues, a curious number — I'd rather have him than Javy Guerra (67 percent), Francisco Cordero (41 percent), Scott Downs (42 percent; I doubt he closes all year) or Matt Thornton (34 percent). Keep an open mind on this one.

• Everyone is in love with David Robertson's bat-missing stuff, and no one wants to crush him for his messy landings in the Tampa Bay series. But we have to at least point out that his two worst outings of the year have come in the past two days — as he tries to step into the ninth-inning role that Mariano Rivera left behind. Robertson danced around three baserunners in a sloppy Tuesday save, but he couldn't get the job done 24 hours later (3 H, 4 R, 1 BB, 1 K). Robertson didn't have his best command in this series, and when he finally located a fastball at the end of the Wednesday stint, Matt Joyce slammed it into the right-field seats, a soul-crushing three-run homer. Game over. (Joyce's heroic hobble around the bases is worth a watch; I half-expected him to start cranking his arms as he rounded second.)

Rafael Soriano hasn't been sharp of late, either; he dodged two baserunners in a scoreless inning Wednesday, and he allowed a run the previous day. I'm expecting Joe Girardi to keep the status quo for a while — Robertson will close most of the time, with Soriano seeing a matchup save here or there — but if the problem isn't corrected soon, the Yankees could always throw their wallet around and bring in an outside reliever (Brett Myers, perhaps?). The next week or so could be very important for both of these guys. The Yanks have already said Soriano will close if needed Thursday, but that's more about Robertson needing a day of rest than anything else.

Speed Round: The Twins moved a few deck chairs around, pushing Francisco Liriano to the bullpen and Danny Valencia to the minors. The Liriano move could actually work out well: heck, most of the best relievers in MLB history were failed (or burnt-out) starters. I'll watch the story from the sidelines, but maybe something comes of this. … The White Sox sent Chris Sale (elbow) for an MRI, and it's not clear what his role will be when he returns. Go ahead and spin this in any direction you want. I know Addison Reed is long gone in your league, but oddly he's still unowned in 74 percent of Yahoo! nation. … So much for the Jason Hammel party: he has a sore knee and won't pitch Thursday. At least the injury isn't anything arm related. … Chris Young (shoulder) is working on baseball activities and might be ready for a rehab assignment soon. The Gerardo Parra fun could be over when Young returns, unless Jason Kubel shifts to first or someone else gets hurt between now and then. … Josh Beckett's favorite sport? Anything but baseball. You have to give the Red Sox credit; they realize that if you can't be good, you might as well be mockably bad. … Stop us if you've heard this one before: Tim Lincecum piled up the pitches and didn't last long at Los Angeles (5 IP, 8 H, 4 R, 2 BB, 8 K). That's not to say there weren't encouraging signs: his velocity was up, all the damage came in one inning, and he filled the strikeout column nicely. He's scheduled for two helpings of home cooking next week, working against Colorado and Oakland. … If the pythagorean standings mean anything to you, let's note that the Mets have been the luckiest team in the majors this year. Despite a run differential of minus-18, they're five games over .500. As for the unluckiest pythagorean club, the answer might surprise you: it's St. Louis. The Cardinals are humming along at 20-11 (no one misses you, Albert), but with a run differential of plus-75 (that's insane this early in the year), St. Louis should have three more wins. The Astros and White Sox also deserve mention, with losing records despite a modest advantage in runs scored. … Next item of business on my desk: the middle infield shuffle. Rickie Weeks, we'd like an explanation.

So ... here we are again. Anthony Rizzo is humiliating the pitchers of the Pacific Coast League — or at least the right-handed pitchers — just as he did last season.

On Tuesday, Rizzo had his fourth multi-homer game of the young season, hitting a pair of bombs for the Iowa Cubs, driving in six runs. The 22-year-old prospect is now hitting .357/.413/.643. Rizzo leads the PCL in home runs and RBIs, he ranks third in total bases, and he's fifth in OPS.

But of course we've seen this show before. Rizzo hit .331/.404/.652 for Tucson last season with 26 homers and 101 RBIs in just 93 games. Yet when he arrived in the majors, he had no chance at all. Rizzo was badly over-matched, and thus delivered a miserable .141/.281/.242 line over 49 games, somehow striking out 46 times in only 128 at-bats. He had holes in his swing from which nothing could escape, not even light. He couldn't hit lefties or righties. Or ambidextrous pitchers, or underhand throwers, or people with webbed fingers. He was, in a word, bad.

So has anything changed?

Rizzo has reportedly made adjustments to his swing path in an effort to ... well, in an effort to not be so terrible against quality pitchers. Nonetheless, he continues to strike out rather often (26 Ks in 30 games), and left-handers still give him trouble (.257/.297/.429 vs. LHPs, 11 Ks in 35 AB). It would not be the worst idea for Rizzo to simply remain in Iowa, addressing weaknesses, refining his swing. There's absolutely no reason for him or anyone else to rush to join the 2012 Chicago Cubs.

Still, whenever Rizzo has a big day, the call-up conversation resumes. That's just the way of things. We'll almost certainly see Rizzo at some point this season; I've stashed him for later use in a pair of leagues. When he re-arrives, he'll be a lottery ticket in the power categories and a much needed addition to the 1B population in NL-only formats. Let's just hope he doesn't hit like a blindfolded Carlos Pena, as he did last season.

And I'll remind you that there's no reason to worry about Bryan LaHair's role when Rizzo joins the Cubs, because he can move to a corner outfield spot easily enough (and Alfonso Soriano can go wherever he likes, as long as he's not in the lineup. Seriously. Go away. Shoo). For additional LaHair discussion, with Batman-style sound effects, click here.

Editor's Note: Today's Closing Time is almost exclusively about the bullpens, because that's the way the action fell Tuesday. We don't choose these stories, they choose us. You want a deep hitter pickup? Go to the Andy Dirks section near the bottom. You want to celebrate Josh Hamilton? We'll get to that, but there's nothing immediately actionable when a universally-owned superstar has a monster game. Our initial focus will always be tied to news most of you can immediately put into use. Enough preamble, let's get to the mound.

Anyone have a phone number on Bobby Thigpen? Is Ed Farmer still in game shape? This White Sox closing thing might be a mess all season.

We thought we finally had some closure to the South Side shuffle at the end of last week, when highly-touted Chris Sale was shifted from starter to closer. Note that the White Sox didn't merely say Sale was moving to the bullpen, they specifically used the C-word. We had no reason to doubt the news and the quotes, so we adjusted our expectations accordingly and went on with our save-chasing lives.

And then Tuesday's curveball came down the pike.

John Danks worked seven strong innings at Cleveland but he tired in the eighth, allowing two hits to open the inning. Chicago was nursing a 3-0 lead at the time. With the top of the Indians lineup coming up (and specifically, a pair of lefties), Robin Ventura made the call for Sale.

Ventura's move certainly can be defended, even if it surprised us. If Sale really is the big man of the bullpen, there's no reason not to use him in a critical spot like this. And perhaps Sale could have worked through a six-out save if he were sharp. At it turned out, the Indians squared the game on Sale's watch, helped largely by Alexei Ramirez's infield error. Carlos Santana had the big blow, a two-run single, and Sale also walked Asdrubal Cabrera. The stint covered 26 pitches, so Sale was done after his one inning. No handshake for you.

Hector Santiago was summoned for the bottom of the ninth (tie game on the road, no save chance here) and danced around two hits. The White Sox had a save chance an inning later and Addison Reed got the call, blowing the Indians away on 16 pitches (12 strikes, two punchouts). Reed still hasn't allowed a run over 10 innings this year (3 BB, 14 K).

And to make this closing situation as complicated as possible, Sale still wants to be in the rotation - and he's making those feelings known. Keep in mind, the idea of putting Sale in the bullpen was driven by the idea that he'd be less injury-prone as a reliever (he was dealing with some elbow soreness earlier this season and his funky pitching mechanics have come into question). Sale, for what it's worth, told the Chicago Sun-Times his arm feels great and that the subject of starting again is on the burner.

When asked if starting had been ruled out this year, Sale responded this way: "No, absolutely not. Starting is something I hope I can get back into. We've been kind of talking back and forth. There's a possibility of it. Not ruling it out is the best way to say it."

Okay, let's hear from the coaching staff. What does pitching coach Don Cooper think of this situation?

"We're going to continue to watch it," Cooper told the Sun-Times. "Who knows what we may do? Right now, we just kind of backed off him a little bit. In effect, we've missed a start. He's feeling great right now."

Who knows what we may do. There's your theme to Ventura and Chicago pitching staff this year. Forget the straightforward fastball, we might see curves all year. In the meantime, make sure Reed isn't floating around your waiver wire: he's only owned in 20 percent of Yahoo! leagues. If Sale gets his way and returns to the rotation, Reed's skills might force their way into the closing gig.

2:09 PM ET Update: And now it turns out Sale is getting an MRI on his elbow, just to make sure the all is okay. Reed's stock really shoots up with this news, not that we can ever endorse any save-grabber on this team with supreme confidence. At least Reed's skills make him ownable in most formats to begin with.

• A lot of us are rooting for San Diego closing candidate Dale Thayer. He's got the crazy story (10 years in the bush leagues) and a formidable mustache, and as Eddie Felson told us about 26 years ago, saves found on the waiver wire are twice as sweet as saves paid for at the draft.

Thayer picked up his second handshake in as many days in Tuesday's victory over Colorado, though it was a roller-coaster ride - he allowed three hits opposite a pair of strikeouts, and Marco Scutaro missed a game-tying two-run homer by a few feet (his blast down the left-field line hooked foul). To be fair, one of the hits off Thayer was a stone fluke  - Jordan Pacheco's harmless infield grounder (a likely out) caromed off an unaware Scutaro, so it goes down as a single and an out. And when you smoke a fastball past Carlos Gonzalez to finish a ballgame, you impress us.

The bottom line is that Thayer converted, and that puts him squarely at the front of the San Diego committee while Huston Street is out. But Thayer has also worked in four of the past five games, so he'll likely need a rest Wednesday. You can still kick the tires on Thayer in 92 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• The Yankees finally had their first save situation in the Post-Mariano Era and it had a happy ending, though there were some rocky moments. Rafael Soriano allowed two baserunners and a run in the eighth (he also struck out the side) and David Robertson loaded the bases in the ninth (two walks, one hit) before icing the game. It's all about throwing strikes for Robertson: he whiffed two batters Tuesday and has a zesty K/9 rate, but there's no reason to be walking a banjo hitter like Will Rhymes when you're already ahead by two runs. The handshake line has been drawn in the sand: Robertson looks like the primary man (and the pitcher who might take the job and run with it) while Soriano is the second option.

• If Dale Sveum is telling us the truth (and you never know with any big league manager), Carlos Marmol is no sure thing to return to the closing gig in Chicago this year. "I'm not going to make change to make change," Sveum told MLB.com. "If [Rafael] Dolis is doing well and [James] Russell is doing well in that role, I won't make change to make change."

Rafael Dolis is the only non-Marmol pitcher on this team that I could see running away from the pack. While his BB/K rate is in the wrong area at the moment (eight free passes, five strikeouts), he hasn't walked anyone over his last seven appearances. If he can command the strike zone, he has a chance to stick. James Russell I'm less excited about; right-handed batters are hitting .306 against him over his career, and that could lead to some messiness in the ninth. And you can forget about Kerry Wood, who's handed out four runs and three walks in his two appearances off the DL.

Here's my bottom line: if you're looking to roster any Cubs reliever right now, it might as well be Dolis (for the current day) or Marmol (for Chicago hope down the line). I'm not interested in anyone else. If you have a different take on the North Side, please share your wisdom in the comments.

• It's time to get Francisco Cordero out of the ninth inning in Toronto. People are getting hurt. Ballgames are being handed away. Coco Puff allowed a five-spot in Oakland on Tuesday night, capped by Brandon Inge's walk-off grand slam (hey, Inge could do it to anyone). Cordero has been scored on in four straight outings, and his 2012 pitching line is not suitable viewing for anyone under 21. Call this guy a cab.

Cordero, to his credit, owned up to his struggles in the post-game press conference. "I didn't make any good pitches tonight," Cordero said. "It's hard for me to explain but I've got to start getting people out or I won't have any job at all."

Sergio Santos (shoulder) did some throwing Tuesday, his first work in that department since going on the DL almost three weeks ago. He's obviously getting closer to a return date but nothing's written down in ink. John Farrell doesn't have a slam-dunk first pick if he decides to demote Cordero in the meantime: Darren Oliver and Luis Perez have the pretty stats but they're also left-handed; righties Jason Frasor and Casey Janssen are racking up the strikeouts, but their ERAs and WHIPs don't inspire much confidence. Roll the bones, save chaser.

2:09 PM ET Update: Janssen is the closer, at least for now - hat tip, Barry Davis. Also, Adam Lind has been dropped to eighth in the batting order.

• I suspect you're getting sick of all this closer talk, so I won't offer too much on Jose Valverde's bumpy landing in Seattle. Papa Grande started off doing The Dotel (wayward tosses all over the yard, a couple of walks, one wild pitch) before things settled down; the game eventually ended on Don Kelly's spectacular catch. It's a good thing Jim Leyland was ejected from this game several hours earlier; the Detroit relievers are trying to kill the old man. For all the fleas that come with Valverde, he's got a lengthy leash here.

Detroit's lineup has a stealth pickup candidate if you're feeling frisky today: get to know outfielder Andy Dirks. He's on a 8-for-17 binge the last four days (three doubles, one homer) and he's batted in the coveted No. 2 slot over the last three games. Perhaps he has a chance to be the player we expected Brennan Boesch to be, a sweet-swinging lefty who enjoys the good life in front of Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder. Dirks had an undistinguished 219 at-bats in his 2011 rookie season (and that .296 OBP is an obvious red flag), but he wasn't afraid to take a pitch in the minors (.351 OBP) and this eventually is going to be a fun offense. Let's have some fun with this and see where it goes - Dirks is owned in just four percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• It was an up-and-down day for the Will Middlebrooks stock market. He had another extra-base hit (a second-inning double) at Kansas City but a tight hamstring forced him out of the game shortly thereafter. And Red Sox GM Ben Cherington says Kevin Youkilis (back) will return to the starting lineup when healthy. Bobby Valentine also tossed around the idea of Middlebrooks possibily shifting to a different position, but keep in mind Middlebrooks has been exclusively a third basemen since turning pro. When you consider the recent medical history on Youkilis, I still see Middlebrooks having an excellent chance to be relevant most (if not all) of the season.

• Yeah, that Josh Hamilton had a pretty nifty ballgame. I don't know what new spin anyone can offer on a well-known, universally-owned star (that's why Hamilton isn't the lead item in the story): we all know that when Hamilton is healthy and fully engaged, he's as talented as anyone in the game. A Triple-Crown run is fully in play if Hamilton can get through the majority of the season. And while contract-year motivation hasn't been proven as a universal thing, you can certainly build a case that Hamilton is more focused and driven right now than usual.

Would you pick Hamilton in the Top 5 if you were drafting today? Would you consider him at No. 1? Do you have the nerve to trade someone just off a four-homer game? The price, in theory, might never be higher than it is right now. I know we had that discussion in this space a week or two ago, but it's a good time to re-open it.

CRACK! SMASH!! CRASH!!!

That kerfuffle you just heard was Bryan LaHair busting through the Quad-A ceiling.

Up until 2012, the former farmhand in the Mariners and Cubs systems toiled in relative obscurity milking cows and crushing baseballs, waiting for a chance to prove he was no "Crash" Davis.

Every year, extraordinary minor league sluggers like LaHair are gifted a chance to plant firm roots as big league regulars. Some seize the moment (e.g. Matt Stairs, Ryan Ludwick and Nelson Cruz) while others flounder miserably, permanently banished to a frugal life of bus rides and cheap hotels (e.g. Dallas McPherson, Jake Fox and Brad Eldred).

But sheer determination and the right opportunity has helped LaHair live in statistical opulence.

For a rebuilding Cubs team, the feel-good story of the early season is one of the few positives on a club overrun with negatives. Ryan Dempster, despite owning a 1.02 ERA, has fewer wins than Baltimore's Chris Davis. Carlos Marmol, once one of the more dominant closers in the NL, would have a hard time finding the strike-zone even if his pitches were equipped with a laser guide. And bloated pile of Benjamins, Alfonso Soriano, who might be the game's most overpriced player, has yet to homer in nearly 100 at-bats and posted a strikeout-to-walk rate (23:4) worthy of a face-palm.

Still, LaHair, along with Starlin Castro and, to a lesser extent speedster Tony Campana, have made North Side hitters at least somewhat relevant to the fantasy community. The first baseman in particular is driving dumpster divers, who nabbed him off waivers a couple weeks ago, wild. His .373-8-17-14-0 line through 83 at-bats currently checks in at No. 18 among hitters in the Y! game and No. 31 overall. More ridiculous, his galactic 1.241 OPS ranks third only to space aliens Josh Hamilton and Matt Kemp. Now at 81-percent owned, even owners in four-team NL Central-only leagues have caught on.

However, many in Fantasyland remain pessimistic about his long-term prospects.

Batting Average Balls in Play (BABIP) is a tricky statistic used by saber-heads to quantify how lucky/unlucky a player has performed. A wide differential above one's batting average denotes good fortune. Conversely, a sizable gap in the other direction means you wouldn't want said player to blow on your dice at the craps table. Because LaHair's BABIP currently sits at an unsustainable .500 many owners within the fantasy community are screaming "Sell!" Their argument: Once his torrid relationship with Lady Luck ends, his BA, and subsequently his overall value, will experience a fiery end. Deal him now for the likes of Mike Moustakas, Jarrod Parker and David Robertson, commodities he attracted in one-for-one deals this past week, and be thankful.

[MLB Full Count: Watch LIVE look-ins and highlights for free all season long]

Though naysayers' reasoning is sound, it doesn't mean LaHair deserves to be pawned off for a sixer of Natty Light. BABIP anomalies occur every year. Last year, for instance, Emilio Bonifacio registered a BABIP (.372) 76 points above his final batting average (.296). Inevitably his lofty number will normalize, but it doesn't mean he's bound to hit .250 the rest of the way. Nor does it suggest he will suddenly morph into a Jack Cust-type.

Why?

The Barber of Clark Street 's formidable MiLB track-record, entrenched spot in the middle of the order and line-drive stroke all arrow to continued success. Recall he cracked 89 homers and tallied a .310 BA in three seasons at the Triple-A level from 2009-2011. In each of those campaigns his isolated power and walks rate climbed, characteristics of a maturing hitter. As his recent past shows, it's no surprise he's compiled a 25.9 line-drive percentage thus far. And with Castro and Campana stealing bases at a prolific rate, he'll likely have several additional chances to beef up his RBI total. Point blank: The dude can rake. According to the sensation, it's all about keeping it slow and steady. From the Sweet Spot Blog:

"I think for me I just stay consistent with each at-bat," LaHair told ESPN Chicago's Doug Padilla a couple of days ago. "I don't let any one at-bat overwhelm me. I go pitch to pitch and all I try to do is to get good pitches to hit and hit them hard every at-bat. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't but if I'm consistent doing that I'll be all right."

Eventually his BA will slide back to a believable level, but don't expect his power totals to suddenly vanish. As stated previously, it would be no shock if he finished just ahead or near established producers Mark Teixeira, Paul Konerko and Gincarlo Stanton.

In this month of graduations, LaHair has officially turned his tassel.

Believe.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 426 at-bats, .281 BA, 24 HR, 68 RBI, 60 R, 1 SB

FLAMES OF THE WEEK

Josh Reddick, Oak, OF (19-percent owned) — Oakland's heavy air be damned. Reddick might be this year's Josh Willingham. The former Red Sock has quietly smoldered over the past couple weeks. Since April 25 the lefty-swinger has collected five multi-hit games, jacked four homers, driven in 10 and touched the plate 10 times. Also with three steals on the season, he's contributed sound across-the-board totals. The 25-year-old, a relatively patient hitter who feasts on off-speed junk, has always possessed 20 HR potential, but trapped in a crowded outfield while in Beantown, he rarely received opportunities to showcase his wares. Now a regular, he should continue to post desirable numbers as a OF4/5 in 12-team and deeper mixers, especially if he remains a fixture in the three-hole. Click. Add. Reap.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 431 at-bats, .273 BA, 17 HR, 58 RBI, 63 R, 7 SB

Joe Blanton, Phi, SP (10-percent) — The Phillies hurler is reason No. 563 why the Pianowski Plan of continuous streaming can work effectively. Including his masterful three-hit shutout of the Braves last week, has quietly worked the opposition. He's logged a quality start in four of six turns, notched a glistening 28:6 K:BB split and drawn ample weak contact evident in his 1.43 GB/FB ratio. Blanton says "physically and mechanically" he hasn't felt this good since 2007. Recall that year he was a reliable back-of-the-rotation starter in deeper mixers, totaling 14 wins while notching a 3.95 ERA. His strikeout numbers are far from sexy and the Phills' offensive inconsistencies are a concern, but he is a useful plug 'n play option at a minimum.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 158.1 IP, 10 W, 3.77 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 121 K

LAMES O' THE WEAK

Jose Bautista, Tor, 3B/OF — Despite his respectable numbers in HR, RBI and R, Bautista's vomit-inducing .187 BA makes Mario Mendoza look like Tony Gwynn. Uncharacteristically outwitted by fastballs, he's struggled mightily applying bat-to-ball. However, bad luck has played a major part in the home run king's unfortunate start. Though his peripheral numbers have remained intact, few balls have found green pasture evident in his .176 BABIP. Bautista cites a lack of juicy pitches over the inner-half, noting hurlers have done a marvelous job painting the corner. Because he still boasts one of the keenest eyes in the game and at 31 is entrenched in his prime power years, a long-ball binge or 10 are in the offing. He's simply too good to struggle for much longer. If you can coerce a leaguemate to sell him at a discount, pounce.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 422 at-bats, .279 BA, 35 HR, 86 RBI, 82 R, 4 SB

Derek Holland, Tex, SP — Holland's greasy moustache/mullet combo may rank only behind Jeff Samardzija's, but his fantasy contributions, sadly, pale in comparison. Signed to an exorbitant five-year extension in late-March, the southpaw hasn't lived up to expectation. He's delivered just one quality start in his past three appearances. Still, he's a superb buy-low. His K/BB and GB/FB rates are nearly identical to last year. Most importantly, he's featured his curve more which has limited long-balls. With healthy run support and several favorable upcoming matchups on the docket (Next five: at Bal, KC, at Hou, Tor and Sea), he should undergo an ERA revival in short order. Holland, swapped this week for Bryce Harper, Michael Cuddyer and Carlos Lee in one-for-one industry moves, should be sought after while the market is still fairly cool.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 156.0 IP, 11 W, 3.78 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 139 K

QUICK HITTERS (Random musings from my demented head)

• The Majors' pacesetter in wins, Lance Lynn, needs to be shopped. His 3.36 K/BB and microscopic 1.40 ERA in 38.2 innings is nothing short of spectacular. However, his underlying stats paint a grim picture. He's benefited from a near 94-percent strand rate and .209 BABIP. Unless he's the exception to the rule, his rest of season ERA should land in the 3.50-4.00 range. Considering the names he's attracted in one-for-one deals this week — Aramis Ramirez, Michael Bourn and Joel Hanrahan — it's wise to advertise his availability.

• Including the Dodgers and Padres' changing of the guard, an astonishing 14 bullpens have busted since March 20. In the 16 years playing fantasy baseball, I've never seen that much turnover over such a short stretch. According to data compiled by the Baseball HQ folks, 32.5 percent of 'pens or 9.7 per year failed from 1999-2011. This year's closer carnage is blowing that out of the water. No one is safe. For those that stole Fernando Rodney off waivers or draft Jim Johnson in the inebriated stages of your draft, count your lucky stars.

• Generally overlooked by the mixed league crowd, Jarrod Dyson is planting firm roots in the KC catbird seat. So far this month, he's tallied four multi-hit games, eight runs, two RBI and a pair of steals. The base burglar swiped 38 bags in just 83 games with Triple-A Omaha last year. Walks will be a rarity, but if he continues to find green pasture, he could be a cheaper version of Brett Gardner. Lorenzo Cain, out for another 4-8 weeks with a torn hip flexor, isn't walking through the clubhouse door any time soon. Only three-percent owned, he's worth an immediate add in challenging formats.

• Dubbed by some "the ugliest mock draft in human history," my 14-team standard team from last week's Rotowire magazine exercise is prettier than you think. Most of the vitriol centered on the Ryan Mathews pick at No. 5, which is shortsighted. Yes, he is an injury risk — you could argue any premier back is — but the third-year RB will be the indisputable bell cow in a Norv Turner offense that made LaDainian Tomlinson a megastar a few short years ago. With Mike Tolbert in Carolina, Mathews could net upwards of 325-350 total touches and should be the featured back in goal-line situations. Recall when Tolbert's workload was reduced after Week 12 last year, Mathews averaged 117.4 total yards per game and scored three TDs in five games, good for a 15.3 points per game average. Building a team around the rusher isn't stupid. It's rather savvy.

• MCA will be sorely missed. Few rappers would ever venture into the realm of astrophysicist fashion for lyrical inspiration. Case in point, "I've got billions and billions of rhymes to flex. Cause I got more rhymes than Carl Sagan's got turtlenecks." Pure genius. For your listening enjoyment, here is one my favorite Beastie songs and MCA moments.

• According to British scientists excessive flatulence and belches may have led to a spike in temperatures in prehistoric times. Somehow Bartolo Colon must be responsible. Baseball's diplodocus could take out a T-Rex with one release of the cheeks. With every plate of chili cheese fries he consumes, I fear for the ozone layer's safety.

Want to bean Brad in the head? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise and be sure to check him along with Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski on The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio

Today, we enjoy Will Middlebrooks. In a short time down the road, the Red Sox are going to have an interesting decision to make regarding the kid . . . and incumbent third baseman Kevin Youkilis.

The Red Sox summoned Middlebrooks, their top-rated prospect, to the big leagues in the middle of last week and the results have been a smash. Middlebrooks collected three hits (including two doubles), a walk and a stolen base in his first two starts, and since then he's turned up the power stroke. He crushed a grand slam over the Monster Seats in Sunday's bizarro loss to the Orioles, then he had a pole-to-pole hitting clinic Monday at Kansas City (two homers to opposite sides of the park, plus a ringing double to dead center field). Have a look at the tape, see what you make of it.

No one should be that shocked that Middlebrooks has hit the ground running: he was Baseball America's No. 52 prospect before the year, and he had a dynamic month at Triple-A Pawtucket (nine homers, .333/.380/.677) before the call-up. Obviously it would be foolish to expect him to be a star all season - four games isn't much of a sample - but his talent is out there for all to see. His ownership level has jumped to 26 percent in Yahoo! leagues over the last week.

Here's the elephant in the room: what happens when Youkilis comes off the disabled list? And one follow-up question: what will it take for fantasy owners to trust Youkilis again?

Youkilis is currently disabled with a back injury, and he battled quad and groin problems in April. There was a laundry list of ailments last year, too: hip, back, hamstring, foot, ankle, hand, leg. Thumb surgery came into the picture for 2010. Medical residents in Boston are required to study Youkilis for at least one term.

Youkilis was a productive player in the first half of 2011 (.285-52-13-62 over 83 games), but he's been an utter mess since then. His final 37 games of 2011 were a nightmare: .199/.314/.346, with 32 strikeouts over 136 at-bats. He didn't play after Sept. 15. His swing was MIA back in spring training two months ago (.195/.353/.220, nine strikeouts in 41 at-bats), and obviously he didn't do anything in the real games (.219/.292/.344, 20 strikeouts in 18 games).

At what point does an injury-prone player become someone who simply isn't worth the hassle? Youkilis is 33 and he hasn't topped 491 at-bats since 2008. I'm in two smaller-than-standard mixed leagues that have transaction caps, and in both of those leagues Youkilis is sitting on the waiver wire, unclaimed. No one wants to waste a valuable pickup on Fred G. Sanford (have a seat next to Grady).

I'm obviously not a decision-maker in Boston, and I can't know for sure how Youkilis feels. But in situations like this, I prefer to follow the momentum. My instincts tell me that Middlebrooks logs more at-bats than Youkilis over the rest of the season, and I also feel strongly that Youkilis won't be back with the Red Sox in 2013. Heck, I wouldn't be stunned if the team tried to move him in the middle of the summer, with his walk year approaching.

In the meantime, let's enjoy this Middlebrooks story while we can. There's plenty of room left on the bus. For all of the foibles with the 2012 Red Sox, this is still an offense that can hurt you (155 runs, fourth in the majors); you want to be invested here if you can.

• If you haven't let Jeff Samardzija into your Circle of Trust by now, you're an impossible grader. The long-haired hurler has been terrific in four of his six starts this year, including victories over the Braves and Cardinals (the top two scoring clubs in baseball) over the last six days. I don't understand the 38-percent ownership tag for Samardzija; it should be twice that. Have a gander at how he shut down the Braves on Monday night. Pretty pictures.

It's all about throwing strikes with Samardzija, because the rest of the stuff lines up nicely. He's striking out better than a batter per inning, and he's generating a swinging strike 12.7 percent of the time. His average fastball gets into the mid-90s, and he has a positive grade on his slider, cutter and splitter. If he can keep throwing strikes consistently, this has breakout season written all over it. His next turn comes at Milwaukee on the weekend. It's not too late, gamers — this is a story worth investing in.

• Doug Fister's return to action was a walk in the park, seven creamy-smooth innings at Seattle (4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K). Fister collected 10 ground-ball outs and threw 51 of 73 pitches for strikes. He also worked at a brisk pace, a lesson many young pitchers would be wise to emulate. He's at Oakland on the weekend, another favorable slot.

Alas, Fister didn't get a win for his trouble: temporary closer Octavio Dotel couldn't find the strike zone in the ninth innings (two walks, one wild pitch, one ringing double from Jesus Montero) and the Mariners stole the game with a three-run rally. It was stunning to see Dotel unravel like this because he was outstanding in his first 11 appearances, but it happens to everyone now and then. Jose Valverde and Joaquin Benoit will be ready to go Tuesday, if needed.

• If you wanted to remake Bull Durham and center it around a relief pitcher, Dale Thayer's career would give you a strong head start. The 31-year-old journeyman has collected 173 saves in the minors over the last 10 seasons, but he only had 30 big-league innings (and one handshake in The Show) before Monday night.

San Diego's entire bullpen was excellent in the victory over Colorado, with four hurlers working 3.2 innings of hitless relief. Situational lefty Joe Thatcher struck out one man in the sixth, Brad Brach followed with four outs (three on strikeouts) and Luke Gregerson worked a tidy eighth (10 pitches, one strikeout). But the game was still in the balance come the ninth, with a one-run lead to protect.

Thayer came through with a 1-2-3 inning, though there were some dicey moments. He fell behind Troy Tulowitzki 3-1 before inducing a groundout, and Todd Helton crushed a pitch to deep center that might have been a homer in other parks. A routine Michael Cuddyer ground out ended the game.

Manager Bud Black has been playing the committee card since Huston Street got hurt, so all we can really do is speculate. Andrew Cashner's wild ride at the end of Sunday's game likely slots him at the bottom of the three-man cycle, and Gregerson probably rests in the middle after working the eighth Monday. You know how it rolls in this save game: if you convert today, you normally get the tomorrow's chance, too. If you had to pick one non-Street reliever for San Diego handshakes right now, Thayer is the only logical move to make. He's only owned in two percent of Yahoo! leagues as Closing Time goes to press.

• If you enjoy watching a power lefty mow through a lineup, Clayton Kershaw should be at the top of your much-see list (especially when Vin Scully is on the call). But it's interesting to note the other two lefties who are doing work on the Dodgers staff, a couple of soft-rock southpaws who know how to upset timing and collect strikeouts.

Chris Capuano was one of the promoted themes in our Monday High 5s, and now let's stop and appreciate veteran Ted Lilly. The veteran southpaw rolled up his fourth victory in five starts on Monday, working six sharp innings against the Giants (4 H, 1 R, 2 BB, 6 K). Curious for some scouting tape? Here are the Pictures of Lilly.

Lilly's fastball barely registers on the gun: he's at 87.5 mph for this year and 88 mph for his career. But he's excellent at location that pitch exactly where he wants it, and he augments it with a wide repertoire of stuff (slider, curve, change). Lilly's managed to strike out 7.66 batters per nine innings over his career, and he's quietly proven to be a WHIP master as well (last three years: 1.16, 1.08, 1.06). I'm probably going to steer Lilly away from the extreme hitter parks - his recent win at Colorado to the side - but otherwise, this is an outstanding commodity to have for the middle of your rotation. Sometimes the boring old veteran is your best friend on draft day. Dial him up for his weekend turn at home against Colorado.

I hope you're having a good laugh at us, Ghost of Jerome Holtzman. This has been a bullpen season from hell, at least for the save chasers in the crowd. Today's entry comes to you from Southern California, where the Dodgers and Angels are reshuffling things.

Skills finally won out in Chavez Ravine, where Kenley Jansen has been promoted to the ninth inning. Don Mattingly stood as a Javy Guerra apologist as long as he could, but after Guerra's blown save Sunday (his third of the year) the LA skipper finally made the call. Jansen is somehow unowned in 27 percent of Yahoo! leagues; I know anyone in a competitive league can't get him now.

In medium and deeper mixed pools, I'd suggest holding onto Guerra for a little while; let's see how Jansen handles the glare of the ninth inning. We also have to consider Jansen's physical history — he had a shoulder problem early in 2011 and he's had some irregular heartbeat issues before. That established, there's a strong chance Jansen takes this job and runs with it, too.

Injuries are the story in the Anaheim bullpen, where lefty Scott Downs (knee) is day-to-day and righty LaTroy Hawkins (broken finger) is out several weeks. Downs was in line to get a save Sunday before his injury; Hawkins stepped in and converted, but now he's out of the mix.

Ernesto Frieri and Jordan Walden are expected to get save consideration while Downs rehabs. It's an interesting pairing — Frieri has only been with the club a few days (he was acquired on Thursday) and Walden was demoted from his closing post back on April 27. Frieri's 2012 stat line is begging for a bigger role: he's pilled up 22 strikeouts (agains six walks) over 13.2 innings. If he can be around the plate, this could be a dominating reliever.

Frieri is unowned in 85 percent of Yahoo! leagues, if you feel like making a move. Walden, incidentally, has pitched just once since his demotion, a scoreless inning last Thursday (two hits, two strikeouts). Is Mike Scioscia ready to let Walden out of the doghouse?

Time to place your bets, save chasers. And if you'd like more intel on the Angels bullpen (or the Padres, as a bonus), check out Andy Behrens with today's Fantasy Minute.

That's Padres relief pitcher Dale Thayer pictured above, looking like the Platonic ideal of a closer. He has the crazy eyes, the Fu Manchu mustache, the ridiculous do-nothing titanium necklace.

In some parallel universe, Thayer is a well-known, widely feared major league closer — a guy with badass entrance music and tens of millions of dollars in the bank. But in this universe, the 31-year-old Thayer is a hugely successful reliever who many fans have never actually seen. He's earned 174 saves over the course of a 10-year pro career, but 173 of them occurred in the minors.

Maybe a few of you will recall this web gem from 2010, back when Thayer was pitching in the Rays system for Triple-A Durham...

Thayer appeared in 46 games for the Bulls that year, plus he made a two-inning cameo in the big leagues with Tampa Bay. He's visited the majors in each of the past four seasons, in fact, so let's try to avoid the Crash Davis comparisons (despite the Durham connection. And despite the fact that Thayer is climbing the all-time minor league saves leaderboard. OK, so I guess I just made a comparison. But at least I did it in parentheses).

In 2011, Thayer tossed 10.1 innings for the Mets, allowing 12 hits, no walks, and four earned runs. He also saved 21 games at Triple-A Buffalo last season, posting an ERA of 2.66 with a sparkling 0.97 WHIP. He struck out 66 batters over 71.0 innings, too. But he walked away from the Mets at the end of the year, signing a minor league deal with San Diego. The Pads called up Thayer in late-April when Micah Owings hit the disabled list, and he's been terrific so far. He's yielded just one hit and no runs over four appearances, walking no one.

When San Diego closer Huston Street went on the DL over the weekend (lat strain), manager Bud Black indicated that Andrew Cashner would likely be the team's primary ninth inning option — but the skipper also reportedly named Luke Gregerson and Thayer as options. And Cashner was battered in an appearance on Sunday (0.2 IP, 3 H, 4 R, 2 BB, K), opening the door just a bit wider for his competition.

Bottom line, I'm rooting for Thayer here. He's no better than a dark horse saves candidate, true, but at least he has a puncher's chance. He's put his name (and his 'stache) in the discussion. Thayer has the traditional closer's arsenal (slider, low-to-mid-90s fastball), and he clearly has the right look. I've added him in a pair of leagues, just hoping. I've added Gregerson, too. And Cashner.

Basically, I'm sick of adding Padres. Here's hoping Thayer is the one we keep — and if he's not, then let's hope he at least sticks in the majors. According to the Roto Arcade research staff (me), Thayer is 58 saves away from reaching what we believe to be the career minor league record, Todd Williams' 231. That's presumably an all-time record that no reliever really wants to own.

When Mr. Irrelevant, Northern Illinois quarterback Chandler Harnish, had his name called in front of a smattering of inebriated stragglers at last week's NFL Draft, owners in Fantasyland were already debating the merits of another passer, Aaron Rodgers, as a top-five overall pick.

Mock season officially kicked off.

Over the next several weeks fantasy signal callers of various backgrounds will hone their draft skills in preparation for main events come August. During these intense drills, participants will experiment with new strategies/tactics, overwork braincells to ensure proper selections are made, blurt out expletives when desired players are poached just before their pick, self-proclaim complete domination post-draft then repeat to stay abreast of growing trends. After all, practice makes perfect. Allen Iversons devoted mocksters are not.

No different from the common folk, "experts" within the fantasy community, too, are partaking in the annual ritual. To the purveyors of print, May marks magazine season, a time when editors and writers work frantically to crank out volumes of then timely content that will inevitably be obsolete once it hits store shelves two months later.

Last week the Noise, cordially invited by the Rotowire crew to participate in a pair of 14-team snake drafts (Standard and PPR), lost his 2012 football draft virginity. Here are nine takeaways from the standard exercise:

Beasts of burden are expected to earn their hay

Running back is a position under attack. Many owners, burned repeatedly by injury and ineptitude, are turning a blind eye to conventional RB-first wisdom, the backbone of draft strategy only mavericks didn't adhere to just a few short years ago.

Yes, going A-Rod, Cam Newton, Drew Brees or Tom Brady with your top overall pick might be safe, but saddling up a workhorse early isn't moronic. In a split-carry era, indisputable three-down backs are worth every penny simply because they are so few in number. Chew on this, 10 years ago 15 backs logged 300-plus touches. Five years back that number dipped to 11. Last year, it dwindled to eight, an all-time low in the digital age. This is why those who shockingly get paid to eat, breathe and sleep fantasy continue to stick to alleged dated methods.

In the Rotowire mock the first five picks were plowshares — Arian Foster, LeSean McCoy, Ray Rice, Maurice Jones-Drew and, suspect only to nonbelievers, Ryan Mathews. Additionally, question marks Chris Johnson (Pick No. 11) and Adrian Peterson (No. 13) were selected in Round 1. Because each is in position to shoulder a rigorous workload the payoff potential outweighs the risks, the exact reason why they were so highly valued in last week's exercise.

Tight Ends are an endless abyss of talent

The increased use of two tight-end sets throughout the league and rich population of multi-dimensional, sure-handed, super-athletic targets has revolutionized the position over the past couple seasons. For many teams, keeping TEs tied to the line is an archaic tactic. During this pass-first time, versatile hybrids, like New England's Aaron Hernandez, are all the rage.

Due to the wealth of tight end talent and onslaught of pass attempts, it's no surprise the position has become a fantasy goldmine in recent years. Once only dominated by the likes of Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates, it now boasts several reliable producers. Ten years ago Gonzo and Todd Heap set the pace averaging a pedestrian 7.5 points per game in standard formats. Last year, an astounding eight players topped that number, including Rob Gronkowski who nearly doubled it netting 14.7 points per game.

Subsequently, TEs were sought after earlier than ever before. Gronk (Round 2, Pick No. 17) and Jimmy Graham (22) were both top-25 selections. Though the pair were clearly in a class of their own, several other monoliths were taken before Round 7. Vernon Davis (59), Antonio Gates (60), Hernandez (66), Jason Witten (70), JerMichael Finley (76), Fred Davis (80) and Brandon Pettigrew (83) signed the dotted line in Rounds 5 and 6.

Bottom line: Because of the position's remarkable depth, bypassing elites for middle rounders might be the brainy way to go.

First Round QBs are no passing fad

Just a few short years ago in a fantasy galaxy now far, far away, reaching for a QB in Round 1 attracted chuckles from the gallery. Purchasers of Peyton, though deemed brainless novices by leaguemates, argued the passer's dependability and consistency trumped the risks associated with drafting a running back, no matter who it was. Little did naysayers know, those supposed "idiots" were real rocket scientists, trendsetters clueless they were ahead of the curve. Coaches' insistance on timeshares and reliance on the pass have completely altered owner game-planning. QBs, more so than ever before, are deserving of a No. 1. Those who disagree are knuckle-draggers.

True the participants in this draft still bought into the running theory in the top-five, but in the back half of Round 1 a whopping four gunslingers were selected — Rodgers (7), Brees (8), Brady (9) and Newton (12). In this same draft last season, only A-Rod had his number called in the opening round.

The times, they are a changin'.

Rookie RBs Trent Richardson and Doug Martin will be coveted

As discussed at length in last week's "Dynamite Dozen" rundown, freshman running backs have experienced hard knocks in recent years. No rookie runner has finished inside the top-10 at the position since Matt Forte in 2008. Once driven off the lot, many new cars instantly depreciated. Roy Helu and DeMarco Murray were effective when thrust into bigger roles last year, but no first-year rusher landed inside the top-25 in points per game, the first time that's happened in the broadband era (since 2000). Undoubtedly, carousel backfields and pass-heavy tactics have redefined how RBs are used, which has caused many rookies to stumble out of the gate.

However, expect Richardson and Martin to buck the trend.

The former is in a superb situation where the carries volume will be massive. It's fathomable Richardson finishes north of 325 total touches. With Brandon Weeden on board and the offensive line completely restructured, the Tide should roll along Lake Erie. T-Rich's interior brawn, versatility and durability should vault him inside the RB top-10 right away. Yes, the division may be tough, but Pittsburgh's defense is aging and Terrell Suggs' likely absence for a significant portion of the season definitely hurts Baltimore. Put it all together, and it's no stretch why he went No. 18 overall.

Meanwhile, the former Boise St. standout is expected to boot LeGarette Blount to the backseat. Greg Schiano envisions Martin as a three-down back. Though not extraordinary in any single category, his across-the-board polish, open-field wiggle and tacky hands should thrive on a Bucs team built to run. Tampa's offensive line is one of the NFC's best and the addition of home run hitter Vincent Jackson will assist in creating wide running lanes. He could turn a lucrative profit at his Round 4 (No. 52 overall) price point.

No one trusts the dastardly deeds of Lucifer Shanahan

Fantasy's demon of deception has caused nothing but heartache over the past few seasons. His RB revolving door and general treachery has duped many. Four rushers were tabbed "starters" by Shany last year, though injuries played a major part in that (Helu, Tim Hightower, Ryan Torain and Evan Royster).

Rumors have floated around Royster may force a timeshare, but Helu, who Kyle Shanahan hinted post-'11 will be the club's first option in '12, should tote the heavy side of the workload. His power, elusiveness and versatility are unmatched. Recall in five starts a season ago he averaged a hefty 15.1 points per game (130.2 total ypg, 2 TDs), nearly identical to what Adrian Peterson tallied in 12 games. And, as his ridiculous 14 receptions Week 9 against San Fran proves, he was even better in PPR formats.

Concerns over Robert Griffin III pilfering TDs are legitimate, but Helu is arguably the most underrated rusher in early fantasy drafts. Picked at No. 51 overall in the mock, he has strong odds of generating a strong return on investment. The Skins' well-oiled zone-blocking scheme and now formidable passing attack should help him achieve measurable success. A 1,600 total yard, 7-9 TD campaign isn't out of the question.

The majority of owners would rather have Albert Haynesworth belly-flop on them than sink a dime in a Lucifer-coached RB, but Helu's medium-risk/high-reward potential could cash.

The RGIII shopping spree begins in the middle rounds

Just a couple seasons ago counting on an unproven, inexperienced passer to carry you to the fantasy playoffs was laughable. Tim Tebow's odds of hitting the Jolly Green Giant square in the leafy toga from 20 yards out were better. But Cam Newton's record-shattering 2011 completely swayed public opinion. Though it's highly doubtful Griffin will replicate Cam's success on the ground, his scoring duality and ripe environment makes him highly desirable in any league, any format. Santana Moss, Pierre Garcon, Josh Morgan, Roy Helu and terribly underrated TE Fred Davis comprise a rather formidable arsenal. Given Griffin's intelligence, composure, accuracy and ability to run, he could easily finish in range of 3,600 passing yards and 600 rushing yards with 27-31 total touchdowns (23-25 PTD, 4-6 RTD).

With that mouthwatering potential in mind, Scott Pianowski wisely drafted Griffin with the third pick of Round 9 (No. 101 overall), a fantastic value (88.1 ADP). RGIII, paired with Matt Schaub, who Scott grabbed in the previous round, provides the Piano Man with a solid two-QB rotation that he can deploy based on matchup.

Every year it seems, a signal caller picked in the middle rounds delivers standout numbers. Matthew Stafford (2011), Ben Roethlisberger (2010) and Brett Favre (2009) are just a few who recently raked giant profits. This season, if you decide to exercise patience at QB on draft day, RGIII could be your sweet reward.

You can wait on wideouts

The Grand Canyon, works by Carl Sagan, Scrooge McDuck's pockets and wide receivers in 2012. What do they have in common? All are incredibly deep.

It would seem in a pass-first age, owners would load up on WRs early, particularly in leagues that require three starters. But the position is one enormous bargin bin.

For those who choose to circumvent the top tier (Calvin Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson) or even the step below (Roddy White, Greg Jennings, Hakeem Nicks, Victor Cruz and Wes Welker), several appealing options will likely be there in Round 3, even in PPR formats. Dez Bryant (No. 32 overall), Brandon Marshall (33), A.J. Green (34), Jordy Nelson (35), Vincent Jackson (37), Julio Jones (39) and Steve Smith (41) vanished from queues in that round. Other products with considerable upside, Demariyus Thomas (46), Percy Harvin (56), Kenny Britt (61) and Brandon Lloyd (63) went about 1-2 rounds after. Other quality producers were available later on. Darius Heyward-Bey, Tampa's Mike Williams and Justin Blackmon all went after pick No. 85.

Lesson: Owners who diversify the portfolio early can still build a scary good pass-catching battery.

Back the smack, 'cuff 'em early

If you want to corner the market on any specific backfield, be prepared to shackle your top RB, particularly one involved in some sore of timeshare, fairly early. The success many backups had in expanded roles last year have inflated their values in '12. That combined with the high number of split-backfields in general have the middle rounds littered with secondary rushers. As a result, owners desperate to acquire RB depth or gain leverage for a future trade are reaching for mediocre backs, leaving a bitter taste in the mouth's of those holding the RB1.

The Rotowire mock was no different. C.J. Spiller (No. 62 overall), David Wilson (86), Peyton Hillis (89), Michael Bush (90), Ben Tate (102) and LeGarette Blount (112) found homes during or well-before Round 8.

Investors of backfields like Buffalo, Chicago, Kansas City and New York need to be aware it will take a pair of fairly high picks to sew up those backfields.

Expect post-op discounts galore, unless you're a sure-fire first-ballot HOFer

For those anticipating Peyton Manning falling into their laps in the fourth or fifth round better think again. Though the multi-time MVP could be one karate chop to the neck away from a permanent ending, many are ignoring the risks and taking him much earlier than expected. Shockingly, Rotowire's Luke Hoover snapped tendons for the former Colt with the last pick of Round 2 (No. 28 overall).

The push for Peyton, however, isn't emblematic of other players coming off major injuries.

Adrian Peterson (13), Matt Forte (17), DeMarco Murray (27), Jamaal Charles (29), Fred Jackson (39), Kenny Britt (61), Sidney Rice (77) and Jahvid Best (111), to name a few, sported slashed price tags. If you're willing to take on the added risk, each discounted stock has reasonable odds of leaving you in the black.

Finally, for your scrutiny, here is the Noise's complete team. Be gentle. No chainsaws.

We're getting an early start on this week's fantasy chat, launching at 5:45 pm Chicago time. Just visit the window below. It's 60 minutes of fantasy fury, every Sunday.

Warning: It's impossible to answer every question during these events, so I try to address the players/topics that pop up most frequently. I apologize in advance if your specific question goes unanswered. Remember, you can always hit us up on Twitter. Please try @YahooNoise, @scott_pianowski or @andybehrens during regular office hours.

Or, if you prefer a big chat room full of hostile fantasy owners, continue beyond the jump...

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If you're not willing to use Daniel Bard in a two-start week when he's facing a pair of not-too-intimidating lineups (KC, Cle), then when are you ever gonna use him? Never. You should just give him to me if you're not planning to roll him out in Week 6, because I've got some pitching issues in a few leagues.

Bard has already bounced between rotation and bullpen this season, his fantasy ratios could use some work (4.38 ERA, 1.54 WHIP), and that seven-walk game shook everyone's confidence (although, in fairness, Bobby Valentine needs to share some blame for that thing). No one's telling you that he's without flaws.

But Bard still has the live fastball (93.5 mph) and an excellent swinging-strike percentage (10.8), plus his run support shouldn't be an issue. He's only owned in 36 percent of Yahoo! leagues — there was a mass-dropping when he left Boston's 'pen — so most of you have an opportunity to add him for the upcoming tour of the AL Central. This should be a relatively pain-free week — think double-digit Ks and at least one win. Make the add if you're in need, then scroll down for the full Week 6 menu of double-dip starters, ranked and sorted for your convenience...

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Approved for use, all leagues

Justin Verlander — at SEA (Millwood), at OAK (Parker)
Jered Weaver — at MIN (Liriano), at TEX (Feliz)
Ricky Romero — at OAK (Parker), at MIN (Hendriks)
James Shields — at NYY (Nova), at BAL (Arrieta)

Four out of five fantasy experts recommend

Neftali Feliz — at BAL (Arrieta), LAA (Weaver)
Ivan Nova — TB (Shields), SEA (Beavan)
Jarrod Parker — TOR (Romero), DET (Verlander)
Daniel Bard — at KC (Duffy), CLE (Masterson)
Matt Harrison — at BAL (Matusz), LAA (Williams)
Doug Fister — at SEA (Beavan), at OAK (Milone)
Philip Humber — at CLE (Tomlin), KC (Sanchez)
Justin Masterson — CWS (Danks), at BOS (Bard)
Felix Doubront — at KC (Sanchez), CLE (Tomlin)

It's nothing personal. Just match-up problems

Brian Matusz — TEX (Harrison), TB (Moore)
Jake Arrieta — TEX (Feliz), TB (Shields)
Jonathan Sanchez — BOS (Doubront), at CWS (Humber)

It's kind of personal, plus we have match-up problems

Josh Tomlin — CWS (Humber), at BOS (Doubront)
Blake Beavan — DET (Verlander), at NYY (Nova)

No, no, no...a thousand times, no. No. No

Francisco Liriano — LAA (Weaver), TOR (Hutchison)
Liam Hendriks — LAA (Haren), TOR (Romero)

NATIONAL LEAGUE

No doubt, every week, every start

Roy Halladay — NYM (Niese), SD (Volquez)

Full Roto Arcade endorsement

Wandy Rodriguez — MIA (Zambrano), at PIT (Burnett)
Lance Lynn — at ARI (Saunders), ATL (Hanson)
Carlos Zambrano — at HOU (Rodriguez), NYM (Niese)
Tommy Hanson — at CHC (Samardzija), at STL (Lynn)
Yovani Gallardo — CIN (Arroyo), CHC (Samardzija)
Ted Lilly — SF (Zito), COL (Pomeranz)

Situational Roto Arcade endorsement

Edwin Jackson — at PIT (Burnett), at CIN (Arroyo)
Joe Saunders — STL (Lynn), SF (Zito)
Jeff Samardzija — ATL (Hanson), at MIL (Gallardo)
Edinson Volquez — COL (Pomeranz), at PHI (Halladay)
Jonathon Niese — at PHI (Halladay), at MIA (Zambrano)
Drew Pomeranz — at SD (Volquez), at LAD (Lilly)

Well, it's your roster. We can't force you to ignore these guys

Barry Zito — at LAD (Lilly), at ARI (Saunders)
Bronson Arroyo — at MIL (Gallardo), WAS (Jackson)
AJ Burnett — WAS (Jackson), HOU (Rodriguez)

This mad year of closer attrition keeps getting worse and worse.

San Diego closer Huston Street is the latest to enter the arena — he left Friday's appearance in the tenth inning after suffering an apparent shoulder injury. Street started the frame with a strikeout and a ground out, then walked Logan Morrison. After the final pitch to Morrison, Street motioned to the bench and was removed from the game. Street didn't show any obvious discomfort on the delivery, but you could see him subtly testing his arm while Morrison trotted to first.

"When I first felt it, I thought it was the kind of tightness that you sometimes have after a day off," Street told the San Diego Union-Tribune. "But we talked about it on the mound and something was not right. I don't think it's major, that's the positive sign. We'll see how it feels (Saturday)."

It's nice that Street doesn't feel too worried here, but fantasy owners know better. This has been a high-maintenance pitcher for several years, a short reliever who hasn't topped 62 innings since 2008. Obviously you'll hope for the best, but we need to prepare for a possible DL stint.

While we wait for more news on Street (he's scheduled to have an MRI), you'll want to check your league's waiver wire for San Diego reinforcements. Andrew Cashner (six percent percent owned) and Luke Gregerson (two percent) are the primary options after Street. The Padres also had fireballer Ernesto Frieri, but he was traded to the Angels a day ago for a couple of minor-league infielders (perhaps he'll be in the LA save chase at some point). Cashner has the usage path in his favor (he's been working later in games, which sometimes holds meaning), but Gregerson has more big-league experience. If I had just one dart to throw at a possible Street hedge, I'd go with Cashner. We'll see what Bud Black has to say.

The Marlins eventually won the game in 12 innings, 9-8, and there was plenty of drama along the way. Miami held a one-run advantage into the bottom of the ninth, but struggling closer Heath Bell was immediately greeted by a couple of doubles, squaring the game. Bell eventually loaded the bases (through two intentional walks) before escaping that jam. Perhaps the Marlins will be easier on Bell considering they ultimately won the game, but this was another outing where the $27 million man looked like an absolute train wreck.

Sidewinding Steve Cishek lugged the mail after Bell left, working three scoreless innings and striking out three. He worked around a leadoff walk in the 11th and he allowed a hit in the 12th, but otherwise he was in command. He'll need at least one day off (perhaps two) after throwing 52 pitches. The Marlins only had Edward Mujica left in the bullpen while Cishek toiled along, and they were dead set against using Mujica for a fourth straight day.

If the Marlins have a late lead to protect Saturday, a rested Mujica is likely to get the call. But if you have one shot at betting against Bell, all logical signs point to Cishek being the play. The Cape Cod product is available in 89 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• Joe Girardi has finally chimed in on the Yankees closing situation: according to the New York Post, Girardi will use both Rafael Soriano and David Robertson in closing roles depending on the workload of each. Robertson was dominant at the end of Friday's 6-2 victory at Kansas City (striking out the side on 15 pitches), though the four-run lead kept it from being a save situation.

Keep in mind that Girardi's initial comments here don't have to be taken as full-season gospel. If one pitcher shifts into this role smoothly while the other stumbles, this could easily revert to a bullpen where the roles are firmly defined. In the meantime, it looks like both players have some value in standard fantasy leagues. By season's end, I expect Robertson will have the best fantasy numbers.

As for the Yankees in 2013 in beyond, Mariano Rivera insists he's a quick healer and he plans to make a comeback next season. I'm happy to share that news and I'll certainly be rooting for him, but remember one basic rule of thumb: players are generally over-optimistic when judging their own injury timetables and comeback chances. That established, at least we know for certain that Rivera wants to come back, and as we've learned over the last two decades, this is not someone you want to bet against.

• We're never going to turn Closing Time into a injury-driven blog, but we have to mention one other notable piece of San Diego injury news: things are looking grim for trendy breakout pick Cory Luebke. A recent MRI showed damage to the ulnar collateral ligament in Luebke's elbow, as well damage to the flexor tendon and fluid in the elbow; boiled down to simplest terms, he might need Tommy John surgery. The Padres will seek some alternate opinons before they reach their decision, but there's a strong chance Luebke is done for 2012.

• It took 13 innings for the Orioles to get past the Red Sox and there were plenty of relief stars: Baltimore received eight scoreless innings from its bullpen, and Boston's group had some notable performances as well. With all due respect to Jim Johnson's clean handshake (1-2-3 inning, 13 pitches), we need to spotlight how terrific Alfredo Aceves looked (2.2 IP, 6 K, 29 of 38 pitches for strikes). Have a gander at the Wiffle Ball highlights, the ball was dancing. Aceves has rallied nicely from the Boston Massacre back on April 21 (that's the day Boston choked away a 9-0 lead against New York), stringing together 6.2 scoreless innings and recording three saves. Perhaps he'll need a break after Friday's stint, but he's clearly asserted himself as Boston's save-grabber for now.

Mark Reynolds finally made some noise, giving us the Reynolds Hat Trick (homer, strikeout, error). Reynolds also added a double, walk, and two runs scored. He's hitting a robust .157 on the year. It's time for Reynolds and Wilson Betemit (.246) to get moving, because the Orioles are closing in on free agent Miguel Tejada. I can't imagine why a rebuilding club would want to add an unwanted journeyman infielder who turns 38 in a couple of weeks, but GM Dan Duquette has some crazy ideas.

• Ervin Santana isn't off to much of a start in 2012 (5.59 ERA, 1.32 WHIP) but what's the use? The Angels offense has no interest in supporting him. Santana actually received a handsome three runs of support in his season debut back on April 8, and since then Los Angeles has been shut out in five consecutive Santana starts. That's utterly absurd. You'd like to think the Halos will score some runs when Santana opposes Carl Pavano next week, but it's impossible to trust this offense right now. My hero, zero.

Say this for Albert Pujols (he sleeps with the Mendozas, now at .194) — at least he's distracting us from the other Angels who aren't hitting. Mike Trout is off to a slow start since joining the club a week ago (4-for-22, one extra base hit, two walks, one steal). Erick Aybar is stumbling around at .211, Vernon Wells is slugging .396, and Peter Bourjos (.180) and the since-departed Bobby Abreu (.208) hit themselves out of jobs. The quiet producer thus far has been Torii Hunter: he currently leads the Angels in runs, homers, RBIs, batting average and OPS.

Henderson Alvarez was the latest to cruise through Anaheim, needing just 97 pitches (71 strikes) in Friday's complete game. Can his pitch-to-contact profile continue to work, especially in the AL East? Alvarez has a 2.83 ERA and 1.04 WHIP through six turns, with hardly any strikeouts (just 12) or walks (a mere 10). He's been fortunate with his strand rate (87.8 percent), but good things come to pitchers who induce ground balls 56.8 percent of the time. At the end of the day this is a very format-dependent option; in leagues that put a low cap on innings or starts, you need more strikeout upside, but I'll be happy to stream Alvarez at Minnesota next week.

• The star matchup between Zack Greinke and Tim Lincecum didn't turn into much: neither pitcher came close to a quality start and the game was decided by the bullpens. Greinke at least was around the plate (5.1 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 3 ER, 1 BB, 5 K), while Lincecum once against struggled to command his pitches (5 IP, 2 H, 3 R, 4 BB, 4 K; just 47 of 84 pitches were strikes). Greinke is home against Cincinnati next week, while Lincecum heads to Chavez Ravine. I'm not worried about Greinke long-term, but I've drawn my line in the sand on Lincecum: I like him less than general consensus.

Brandon Belt had a single and a walk in his four trips, pushing his average up to .294. He's made four straight starts as well. Are you finally going to leave him alone, Bruce Bochy? Your club desperately needs offense. It will be interesting to see how Belt is handled over the next four games, when the Giants face three left-handers (Randy Wolf on Saturday, then Ted Lilly and Clayton Kershaw in Los Angeles). Belt has been shielded against southpaws for most of his brief career, but when he's been given the chance (and this is through a tiny sample of 49-at-bats), he's produced: .347/.418/.510. Just let him play, skip.

Speed Round: The Chris Sale bullpen shift won't happen until Monday, so the Pale Hose have 48 more hours in committee mode. Matt Thornton coughed up Jake Peavy's win over Detroit, serving up a two-run homer to Jhonny Peralta in the ninth . . . Mr. Met is America's favorite mascot, according to a recent fan survey. As a long-running fan and apologist for The Famous Chicken and the Philly Phanatic, I'm outraged. I demand a recount, if not a full criminal investigation . . . Nolan Reimold (neck) finally went on the DL after standing in limbo for a few weeks . . . Ryan Zimmerman (shoulder) could rejoin the Nationals as soon as Tuesday, but the club isn't sending Bryce Harper anywhere . . . Jose Altuve can't do anything wrong these days: he had a single, homer and stolen base in the victory over St. Louis. For reasons I can't understand, the Houston Dynamo is still unowned in 26 percent of Yahoo! leagues . . . Possible streamers for Sunday: Trevor Cahill (57 percent) at New York, Ricky Nolasco (41 percent) at San Diego, and Jerome Williams (11 percent) against Toronto. I'm not touching Clay Buchholz (against pesky Baltimore) or Tommy Milone (at Tampa Bay).

First of all, let's acknowledge the fact that no person or institution gets to simply declare itself dumb or not dumb. That's for the Internet to decide. Nationals general manager Mike Rizzo presumes too much.

That said, take a look at comments made on Friday by Rizzo (via Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post):

This afternoon at the National Press Club, Rizzo gave a speech and took questions — the first three of which were about Bryce Harper. Rizzo reiterated the idea that the Nationals were comfortable with sending Harper back to Class AAA Syracuse when they recalled him. But he also acknowledged the obvious.

"We're not dumb, either," Rizzo said. "This guy is performing admirably in the big leagues. We feel he's got a chance to really impact the ball club. He's a special talent. So you have to throw ordinary development curves out the window if you have to. You have to be able to be light on your feet and utilize the assets that you have. If he is performing the way he's performing now, there's no way in hell I can get Davey Johnson to get rid of him."

You might recall that when the 19-year-old Harper was promoted last week, no guarantees were made that he'd stick in the big leagues. After all, he was only hitting .250/.333/.375 at Syracuse at the time of the call-up.

And since that time, all Harper has done is hit.

And make ridiculous catches at the wall.

And fire missiles toward home plate.

Harper has been sensational, and he appears completely at home in the majors. The stage is clearly not too big. Rizzo is right: There's no way in hell the team can demote a player who's on a roll like this. Harper is 6-for-16 at the moment, and four of those hits have gone for extra bases.

In fantasy, it's tempting to say that Harper is the most obvious sell-high candidate in our game. He's a high-buzz rookie, performing at a level that seems impossible for a 19-year-old. But I'll concede that it's also tempting to simply keep the kid on your roster and enjoy the ride.

I currently own Harper in just one league, an NL-only dynasty format where he's nowhere near the trade block. (Unless, hypothetically, the Sharks were willing to put a "Yard Sale" sign on the lawn and make everyone available — including Joey Votto. Because then I'd listen). But if I had Harper in a standard non-keeper format, I'd at least get a price check while the phenom's average is north of .350.

If you've already dealt him (or acquired him), let's please hear some transaction details in comments...

For most of the spring we've danced around the White Sox bullpen, looking for a closer. We examined Hector Santiago and Matt Thornton, we scouted Addison Reed and Jesse Crain.

Turns out the answer is E: none of the above. It's time for everyone in the South Side bullpen to slide down, time to make room for Chris Sale.

Oh Robin Ventura, how you slay us.

On Friday afternoon the White Sox unveiled the latest stunner in what's become the Great Closer Drought of 2012: Sale, their highly-touted lefty stud, will return to the bullpen, effective Monday. The move clearly had nothing to do with Sale's performance through five starts (2.81 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, eight walks, 29 strikeouts); he's been terrific in his new role. Apparently the club is concerned about Sale's ability to hold up in the rotation - he's got an unusual delivery, a low arm slot, and a 6-foot-6, 180-pound frame. Sale's also been dealing with a tender elbow of late, but no one was discussing that as a serious issue.

"It's not disappointing to us, it's disappointing to him because this was something he's always wanted to do,'' pitching coach Don Cooper told the Chicago Sun-Times before Friday's game. "We're not making this decision based on what's best for the team because obviously he's starting and doing well and that would be a wonderful thing to keep him in. We feel we're doing what's best for him, his career and his health. It's the best way to keep him healthy and strong.''

In the meantime, you can get ready to drop some of your save-chasing options in the Chicago bullpen (after this weekend, that is), depending on your league specs and how valuable non-closing relievers are. I can't imagine Sale not taking this job and running with it, health permitting. Right-handed prospect Dylan Axelrod is replacing Sale in the rotation, but you probably won't want to risk him in Monday's turn against Detroit.

As for the other Chicago ballclub, Rafael Dolis picked up a save in Friday's matinee victory over the Dodgers, but it wasn't the smoothest landing. Dolis only threw 6-of-17 pitches for strikes, he plunked one batter, and two of the outs came on sharply-hit balls. At least Dolis can boast of a scoreless frame; some of his competitors struggled earlier in the day. James Russell allowed two hits and a run in the seventh and Kerry Wood was messy (1 H, 2 R, 1 BB) in the eighth. Shawn Camp worked between Russell and Wood, walking one batter and striking out one.

Carlos Marmol, who was given his closer-demotion papers earlier in the day, did not pitch.

Today the Shuffle Up tour hits the corner infield. The assignment is to rank all of the 1B and 3B eligible players in Yahoo!, with a few disclaimers.

I've cut out all the catcher-eligible bats, because they'll rarely be used as corners. DLed players are not considered; it's been proven (at least to me) that those players have a largely-relative value, depending on your specs. If you want to build a comeback strategy around Kevin Youkilis, that's your folly, not mine.

What's happened to this point in the season is an audition, not a rank-mandate. I'm trying to list the players as I'd be likely to draft them for a fresh-starting league that drafts right now. Assume a 5x5 roto-scoring system, as always.

Your respectful feedback is openly invited in the comments, just make sure you bring your best line of reasoning. Respect the room, and respect yourself. One-sentence rants don't help anyone. Further the conversation, gamer.

I reserve the right to tweak this list as the day goes along, and I'll add additional comments as well. Dig in.

$34 Miguel Cabrera
$32 Joey Votto
$30 Prince Fielder
$29 Mark Teixeira
$28 Adrian Beltre
$28 Adrian Gonzalez
$26 David Wright
$25 Jose Bautista
$25 Albert Pujols
$24 Hanley Ramirez
$23 Paul Konerko
$23 Alex Rodriguez
$23 Edwin Encarnacion
$21 Michael Young
$20 David Freese

Here's the thing with Pujols: I refuse to accept that there's a zero percent chance his slow start turns out to be meaningless. The websites and pundits who stubbornly keep him landlocked at the top of their rankings are doing you a disservice. Players have off years, sometimes terrible years, for all kinds of reasons (not that we can always pinpoint them), and while I'm pricing Pujols with the idea that I expect him to come back, I'm certainly not considering that a lock. If you can minimize the risk with Albert and flip him for something safer — hell yes, I'll sign off on it . . . If you're in a league with me and you happen to own Bautista, drop me a line. I'll back up the ranking - I'll trade for him. Despite a line-drive rate that's higher than his career norm, he's carrying an anemic .172 BABIP. That simply can't continue. And it's not like he's swinging at anything and everything; his strikeout rate is the lowest it's been since joining the Jays and his contact rate has pushed upward. Conspiracy Theorists will have fun with possibilities here, but I'm not burying him yet . . . Encarnacion is obviously playing over his head, but it's not like he hasn't shown flashes before. He had a 26-homer season for the Reds way back in 2008. He was a plus base stealer last year (8-for-10), so the green light makes sense. And if you rank all the roto-eligible third basemen for the second half of 2011, Encarnacion (.291-43-11-36-7) comes in fourth. He turned 29 in January. I'd have no problem putting an aggressive bid on him right now, be it in a new league or in trade talks.

$19 Brett Lawrie
$19 Michael Cuddyer
$17 Howie Kendrick
$17 Eric Hosmer
$17 Freddie Freeman
$17 Billy Butler
$17 Adam Dunn
$16 Bryan LaHair
$16 Adam LaRoche
$15 Aramis Ramirez
$15 Nick Swisher
$15 Chris Davis

I find myself believing in LaHair a little more than most, because I can't dismiss his Triple-A MVP season out of hand, no matter that he was 28 through the campaign. But he still needs to prove that he can handle left-handed pitching, and while any outlier batting-average is sure to come with an accompanying outlier BABIP, a .543 mark is utterly ridiculous. And let's not miss the fact that LaHair is striking out a third of the time, either. The outfield eligibility comes in handy, and he might find himself in that spot for real later this summer, depending on when Anthony Rizzo hits the second city . . . Hosmer has more pedigree buzz than Freeman, and the ability to steal more bases, but I've never seen a ton of difference between the players. I love the fact that Freeman is locked into Atlanta's No. 3 batting slot . . . Dunn is back to being the guy we thought: bad batting average, a ton of strikeouts and walks, 30 homers or more. There's a time and a place where that makes sense . . . A rally from Pujols would probably go a long way towards getting Kendrick started.

$14 Lucas Duda
$14 Emilio Bonifacio
$14 Mike Aviles
$13 Mike Moustakas
$13 Pedro Alvarez
$12 Martin Prado
$12 Kendrys Morales
$11 Luke Scott
$11 Jed Lowrie
$11 Carlos Lee
$10 Ike Davis
$9 Carlos Pena
$9 Mark Trumbo
$9 Todd Helton

I'd love to put Lowrie in the Bonifacio-Lowrie class, but his injury history won't allow it. I've always liked his offensive potential, though, and he should be a terrific fit for Houston's ballpark. How many games do you expect from him over the final 20 weeks? . . . I took plenty of shots at Alvarez in earlier weeks, no doubt on that. He's made me eat those words with his monster rally of late, and I have no problem jumping on the bandwagon as a result (I grabbed him in the Friends & Family league, and several other leagues, after his two-homer day on 4/25). I don't look at any old rankings when I begin this exercise. When the facts change or the expectations change, the price changes . . . Trumbo's power is forever intriguing, but his fielding woes give Mike Scioscia an excuse to keep him out of the lineup . . . Helton is probably going to be a frozen-rope machine until the day he retires, but heads up: the Rockies give him a fair amount of days off. Oh, that finagling Jim Tracy.

$8 Chipper Jones
$8 Ty Wigginton
$8 Brandon Belt
$7 Chase Headley
$6 Kyle Seager
$5 Chris Johnson
$4 Daniel Murphy
$4 Adam Lind
$4 Garrett Jones
$4 Alex Liddi
$4 Mark Reynolds
$4 Mike Carp
$3 Paul Goldschmidt
$3 Gaby Sanchez
$3 Yonder Alonso
$3 Jack Hannahan
$3 Sean Rodriguez
$2 Justin Morneau
$2 Ryan Roberts
$2 Robert Andino
$2 Will Middlebrooks
$2 Justin Smoak
$2 Scott Rolen

I wanted to rank Wigginton higher, a lot higher. He's an old friend (well, an old roto friend) and the inspiration behind these glorious awards. But he's not guaranteed a full-time job after Ryan Howard comes back, and that has to be priced into the rank. Then again, the Phillies are a pretty old ballclub (Wiggy included), so maybe someone else will be hurt by then . . . I've been out on Morneau all spring, even during that two-week period in the spring where he crushed. His body has failed him in countless ways over the past few years, he's already got the bad wrist this season, and he's in a terrible park for left-handed power. Even if he were dropped in the Friends & Family league, I wouldn't bother picking him up . . . I didn't completely collapse the Goldschmidt price, but it sure doesn't seem like he's one of Kirk Gibson's favorites. When Chris Young is healthy again, you wonder if Jason Kubel might shift to first base to keep surging Gerardo Parra (and his glove) in the lineup . . . Until Smoak can figure out a way to recognize and hit sliders (or lay off them), he's going to be a monumental disappointment . . . I'd probably jump Andino to the $4-5 range if I were certain Brian Roberts won't play in 2012.

$1 Mitch Moreland
$1 Chone Figgins
$1 Matt Carpenter
$1 Danny Valencia
$1 James Loney
$1 Placido Polanco
$1 Eduardo Nunez
$1 Shelley Duncan
$1 Laynce Nix
$1 Brent Morel
$1 Wilson Betemit
$1 Eric Chavez
$1 Brent Lillibridge
$0 Juan Rivera
$0 Maicer Izturis
$0 Casey Kotchman
$0 Juan Francisco
$0 Kila Ka'aihue
$0 Brandon Inge

This week, we begin with a recommendation: If you're involved in a dynasty-style fantasy league that uses stolen bases as a category (as most do), then someone needs to own Reds shortstop prospect Billy Hamilton. He's available nearly everywhere.

I'll give you a minute to go check your league's free agent pool, then decide on the appropriate drop. Please get to it. Shoo.

While you're away, the rest of us are going to watch a video...

And if you need to spend an extra moment on this transaction, fine. Adding and dropping can be tricky business. I've got more videos.

Finished? Great. Now I'll give you the essential 2012 stats for Hamilton, through 26 games at Single-A Bakersfield: 39 H in 102 AB, 25 R, 14 BB, 18 K, 31 SB, .382/.458/.559.

And that stolen base total is no misprint. So far this season, Hamilton has swiped 31 bags in 38 attempts. He stole 103 bags last year in the Midwest League, at an 83.7 percent success rate. Dude is fast.

How fast? Well, for a few additional facts on Hamilton's ridiculous speed, check out this short piece from Sam Miller at Baseball Prospectus, published April 30. These two details might be my favorites:

Billy Hamilton has reached on eight infield singles. He has been thrown out by infielders 14 times. When Billy Hamilton hits the ball on the ground to an infielder, and the infielder fields the ball cleanly, Billy Hamilton is hitting .364.

[...]

Billy Hamilton scored the walk-off run on April 20 on a sacrifice fly. To the second baseman.

So yeah, Hamilton is insanely fast — too fast and too talented for his level, it seems. He currently leads the California League in runs, hits, triples, steals (by a mile), batting average and on-base percentage. In all likelihood, he'll get a bump in level soon. A reasonable expectation for the 21-year-old Hamilton, I'd guess, is to advance to Triple-A by season's end. He might just be ready to compete for the lead-off spot in Cincinnati at some point in 2013.

It's not yet clear that he'll be able to stick at shortstop — he's committed eight errors this season, following a 39-error campaign in 2011 — but his combination of speed on on-base skills will play at any position, fantasy-wise. Dynasty gamers, you are advised to get him. I can't continue writing about Hamilton each week, so let's all please work together to boost his ownership percentage.

This week, just for the dynasty crowd, Farm Report will focus on a few players who are off to big starts at Single-A. You shouldn't expect to see any of these prospects in the bigs anytime soon, but you'll want to file away the names...

[Related: Phenom Bryce Harper makes three-finger catch for Nationals]

• Baltimore prospect Dylan Bundy has thrown 17.0 innings so far this season and he's allowed just one hit. One. A harmless single. Bundy hasn't yet allowed a run, he's walked only two batters, and he's whiffed 25. No player at any level of professional baseball, with the possible exception of Matt Kemp, is dominating the competition quite like Bundy. It's unfair. He'll have to be promoted soon, just so he can be challenged.

The 19-year-old Bundy is a (very) hard-thrower, with an arsenal that includes a curve, change and cutter. He was the fourth overall pick in the 2011 MLB Draft. His innings will reportedly be capped around 125 this season, so his string of three and four-inning starts will continue for a little while. This is a kid who needs to be rostered in dynasty formats, even though he'll likely offer no help this season.

• Yankees prospect Tyler Austin leads the South Atlantic League in homers (9) and OPS (1.236), while hitting .348. You'll find a nice look at his opening month right here, for those interested. The 20-year-old Austin fell to the 13th round in the 2010 draft, so you have to tip your cap to the Yanks for finding a legit player at a decent price.

• The Diamondbacks really have a lot of young pitching talent, it seems, at all levels. Left-hander Andrew Chafin has struck out 45 batters in just 27.2 innings at Visalia, walking six. How is that fair? It isn't. Chafin has fanned at least nine batters in four of his five starts. Just silly. John Sickels ranked Chafin as the No. 4 prospect in a solid system entering the season, and the 21-year-old has certainly justified the hype.

• Jameson Taillon and Gerrit Cole are presently teammates in Bradenton, and they each rank among the Florida State League leaders in WHIP and Ks. Taillon has had a better season thus far (1.46 ERA, 0.77 WHIP), but Cole was terrific in his last start, allowing just one hit over six frames. Both Bucs prospects have top-of-rotation potential — and this collection of Pittsburgh starting pitchers shouldn't be too tough to crack.

• One more Pirates prospect for you: Alen Hanson is hitting .402 in the South Atlantic League, with an OPS of 1.111. Twenty of his 47 hits have gone for extra bases, he's swiped 10 bags, and he's scored 29 runs. Baseball America just wrote that "Hanson looks like the early breakout story of the 2012 season," and it's tough to argue with that assessment.

• Beloit's Miguel Sano won't turn 19 until next week, but he's already tearing up the Midwest League. Sano is hitting .293/.430/.598 with six homers. There aren't a whole lot of reasons for Twins fans to be excited this year, but at least there's talent in the system.

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Come on down, Fernando Rodney.

There's been a different Tampa Bay saves leader in every year of the Joe Maddon Era (which began in 2006), and it sure seems like that streak will continue. Pitching coach Jim Hickey made a slight adjustment with Rodney's push-off point on the pitching rubber before the season, and for some crazy reason that's lead to Rodney's unhittable start. The tilted-cap closer is 9-for-9 on save chances, with a matching ERA and WHIP (both stand at 0.73). The latest conversion came Thursday against Seattle, a painless ninth inning (infield error, fly out, GIDP, shake hands).

The shocking stat with Rodney is his K/BB rate: he's fanned 12 batters through 12.1 innings against just two walks. Detroit and Anaheim fans want to know where this came from; Rodney had more walks than strikeouts in the OC last year, and his last few seasons in Motown were marked by constant wildness.

So long as Rodney is throwing strikes, the rest of the profile falls in place nicely. He's always been able to generate ground balls (49 percent for his career) and he does a reasonable job keeping the ball in the park. His average fastball checks in at 95 mph, and his change is a swing-and-miss pitch. It's never been a question about stuff with this guy.

Tampa Bay should get Kyle Farnsworth (elbow) back at some point this year, but I don't see him as a major threat to the Rodney story. First and foremost, we can't make any hard assumptions on Farnsworth, given that he's on the 60-day DL and he's yet to do any throwing. Even if everything magically fell into line for Farnsworth health-wise, he can't return until the first week of June. Secondly, it's not like the Rays have any long-standing relationship with Farnsworth. He basically was Last Year's Rodney, the untrustable retread who blossomed under the watch of Maddon and Hickey. Tampa Bay knows the secret better than any other club: when it comes to relief pitching, a cheap recycling option is generally smarter than a high-priced import.

I'm willing to put Rodney down as a Top 12 closer from here on out, even with the Farnsworth issue unresolved. Are you with me? Would you take Rodney over Joe Nathan, or J.J. Putz, or anyone on the Angels? Are you buying Rodney, or Rappin' Rodney? Let's toss this around in the comments.

While you practice your change-up and slide your hat to the side, let's look at some other stories from the Thursday sandlots:

• With Heath Bell and Steve Cishek both unavailable for Miami's series finale at San Francisco, Ryan Webb and Edward Mujica worked the eighth and ninth innings, respectively. Mujica's handshake looks better in the box score than it did on the tape: two of the outs came on deep fly balls. At least he was unafraid to pound the strike zone; eight of his ten pitches were strikes. I still prefer Bell over anyone in this bullpen - follow the money - with Cishek the best hedge.

Say this for Ozzie Guillen's Marlins: they're having fun on the bases. Miami stole four bags on Thursday (all at the top of the order), and they're tops in the majors with 28 swipes through the opening five weeks. Jose Reyes had a steal in every game of the series, while Emilio Bonifacio is 12-for-12 on the year. Hanley Ramirez still has to look at that ugly .198 average (Reyes and Bonifacio aren't that far ahead of him), but he's running too (six steals). The Marlins ranked 20th in stolen bases last year.

Shutting down the Giants is no difficult feat these days, especially with Pablo Sandoval on the shelf with a broken hand. Will Bruce Bochy finally give Brandon Belt a fair shot now that the lineup is begging for an impact hitter? Belt had four hits and a walk over the final two games of the Miami series.

• Mike Moustakas was the star of Kansas City's 4-3 victory over New York, clocking a homer, driving in three runs, and ending the game with a super defensive play on Alex Rodriguez's swinging bunt. If Moose doesn't convert on that do-or-die chance, Derek Jeter scores the tying run and the game plays on. I'm surprised Moustakas isn't at universal ownership yet; he's off to a .318-12-4-15 start, and there's always been a high-upside pedigree here. He'll be given a lofty rank when the corners are Shuffled Up later today (sorry for the one-day delay; closer news from Thursday commandeered the floor.)

If you're in a deeper league and can open your heart to a Royal, outfielder Jarrod Dyson might be worth your time. He's hitting .321 (with two walks and two steals) over his brief trial with the Royals, and he had a pair of hit in Thursday's game. Lorenzo Cain (hip) has already taken a setback in his rehab, so Dyson's trial time gets extended. Dyson already has 22 steals in just 51 MLB games, and he's run wild in the minors (176 bags over 403 games). He's available in 99 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• The big story from Cincinnati was the implosion of Carlos Marmol (we covered that over here), but Chicago fans had other reasons to be optimistic. Starlin Castro, Bryan LaHair and Geovany Soto hit solo homers in the game - it's a "mark your territory" clout from LaHair, while it's an "about time" blast for Castro (his first) and Soto (his second). And the forever-underrated Ryan Dempster didn't show any problems from his DL stint, mowing the Reds down over eight terrific innings (3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 6 K). He's in line to be one of the best bargains of the season; too many drafters held his back-luck 2011 against him. The component stats for Dempster have been remarkably similar for the last few years; don't be thrown by last season's ERA.

• Once again we're presented with a Brandon Morrow conundrum: to trust or not to trust? He was money in a three-hit shutout at Anaheim (0 BB, 8 K), his third win in a row. But can he cut his teeth in the AL East? Morrow has allowed just one run in his four out-of-division starts this year (covering 28.2 innings), but he's been knocked around in-division (13 IP, 10 R) — and he hasn't even faced the Yankees or Red Sox yet, the two toughest matchups of all. Morrow works at Oakland next week, obviously a cushy assignment, before returning to in-division battles (Tampa Bay). I expect pushback from the Morrow Sympathizers, but I think this is an outstanding time to shop him.

• The no-hit Nationals continue to make things work: Thursday's victory was a tidy 2-1 decision over Ian Kennedy and the Diamondbacks. Intriguing Ross Detwiler pitched to air contact and succeeded (6.1 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 3 BB, 2 K, 11 fly balls), while minted No. 3 hitter Bryce Harper had the game-deciding RBI double. I'd nonetheless put Harper on my shop-now list - I think you can probably find someone in your league who's expecting immediate miracles - but it's looking more likely that Harper will stick with the club even when Ryan Zimmerman returns to action. Henry Rodriguez has rallied nicely from last Saturday's wild-pitch carnival in Los Angeles: he had a win and a save in the Arizona series, with two strikeouts and no walks.

Speed Round: What's gotten into Joe Blanton this year? Look at that 2.83 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, and a zesty 21 strikeouts against just three walks. I suppose he's earned the right to be streamed against the Mets next week, then we'll reevaluate. Maybe this is just another case of a control master being slightly ahead of the hitters for the first quarter of the season . . . Chris Perez's leash keeps getting longer and longer: he's now converted nine saves in a row, the latest coming Thursday at Chicago . . . Another day, another Pedro Alvarez homer (he also had a single). He shifted to the No. 5 slot in the middle of the St. Louis series. He'll be one of the fun (if tricky) ranks in the Friday Shuffle; he's rebounded nicely from last month's Arcade Hatchet Job. Alvarez is still out there in 64 percent of Yahoo! leagues, for some reason . . . Sergio Santos is optimistic he can return in 2-3 weeks, not that you ever want to take a player's self-proclaimed timetable all that seriously . . . There are rumblings that the Padres might be done with Jason Bartlett and Orlando Hudson very soon, which could open the sleeper door for forgotten jackrabbit Everth Cabrera. The speedy Cabrera is off to a .315/.364/.370 start in Triple-A through 22 games, and he's a perfect 12-for-12 in stolen bases. In deeper leagues, the time to stash is now . . . It's a shame Coco Crisp can't seem to stay healthy. He's on the DL with an inner ear infection, which means the Jonny Gomes circus act will see more time in left field . . . The Mariano Rivera story obviously needed it's own post: we've covered that here. Hang tough, No. 42.

Carnage.

That's what Albert Pujols and seemingly every closer in baseball not named Fernando Rodney (Friggin' amazing) has triggered exactly one month into the season.

On this week's loaded program, Brad Evans and Scott Pianowski attempted to diagnose Phat Albert's skinny numbers and decided whether he's buy low, hold or salvage what you can material.

Additionally, saves circuses in baseball's biggest markets Chicago, Los Angeles and, sadly now with Mariano Rivera's season toast, New York, were dissected, providing owners with the very latest on who we feel will get the ball in the ninth. Pedro Alvarez's searing start is also on the docket. Is he must-add material in all formats? Could he actually outproduce Alex Rodriguez?

Meanwhile, on the virtual gridiron, the Piano Man and Noise revealed their teams and what picks raised an eyebrow in their first mock draft of the fantasy football offseason. Where did Trent Richardson go? How many quarterbacks were selected in Round 1? When did TE monoliths Rob Gronkowski and Jimmy Graham fall off the draft board? What about Peyton Manning? We'll have all the gory details to get you amped up for mocking.

In too much shock after hearing the O's are considering re-signing Miguel Tejada (We are too)? Missed the show? Listen to the replay below:

LISTEN PART I HERE (NFL)

LISTEN TO PART II HERE (MLB)

The 2012 fantasy season already had "Year of the Closing Change" written all over it, but the biggest bombshell dropped Thursday night in Kansas City.

Mariano Rivera, widely acknowledged as the greatest closer of all time, tore an ACL while shagging batting-practice flies at Kauffman Stadium. He's going to be examined in New York on Friday, but it's just about certain that he's done for 2012. It's also possible his career could be over; Rivera, after all, is 42 years old.

For many roto players, it's impossible to imagine the game without Rivera: he's been a dominant closer for 15-plus seasons. Rivera broke in with the Yankees in 1995, mainly as an ineffective starter. He shifted to the bullpen full-time the next year and was a lock-down setup man (2.09 ERA, 0.99 WHIP) for the eventual World Champs. Rivera stepped into the closer's chair the following season (recording 43 saves) and the rest is history. He's collected a MLB-record 608 handshakes, all of them for the Yankees.

Legends aren't easily replaced, but the Yankees do have a couple of viable options for the ninth inning. David Robertson has been the primary setup man in The Bronx the last two years and his numbers leap off the page. Last year he fashioned a 1.08 ERA and 1.13 WHIP (along with 100 punchouts in 66.2 innings), and he's yet to allow a run over 11 electric innings this season (7 H, 3 BB, 18 K). I can't see any reason why Robertson wouldn't be a dominant closer, and he's the first name I'd target if you still have that option. His ownership level has spiked from 37 percent to 56 percent since the Rivera news initially broke. 

Just because Robertson is the best holdover in the bullpen doesn't necessarily mean he'll step into the ninth inning, of course. The theme of the closer varies from city to city, manager to manager. With that in mind, we also have to consider veteran Rafael Soriano. The high-priced righty has a couple of wins on the young season and a 2.00 ERA, but the deeper you look, the less impressed you become. Soriano has somehow skated around a 1.89 WHIP, and he's walked six batters in nine innings. He was hurt for much of 2011; when on the field, he turned in mediocre results (4.12/1.30).

Bottom line, until manager Joe Girardi hands us the new bullpen blueprint, we can only speculate. Soriano worked in Thursday's loss, pitching the bottom of the eighth with the Yankees down a run; that at least suggests that Robertson was being saved for a possible save chance. But that doesn't mean Girardi is married to Robertson as the next closer moving forward, albeit that seems like such a logical move to most roto players.

If you roster both Robertson and Soriano as your speculation plays, well done. If you only had one shot at it and you landed Robertson, I think you made the right move. But nothing really matters until Girardi comes to a decision and notifies the masses.

Feel free to discuss the New York bullpen – past, present and future – in the comments. I grew up as a diehard Boston fan and that's never going to be shaken out of me, but as a general baseball fan, I'm sad tonight. If you care about this game and the people in it, you have a ton of respect for No. 42 in pinstripes. Here's to a quick recovery, Mo, and to hopefully going out on your own terms, down the road. The ninth inning won't be the same without you.

There are no easy answers in the North Side bullpen right now. Nobody's right if everybody's wrong.

Alas, we're just in it for the handshakes, the stat grab, so we have to trudge along. It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

The Carlos Marmol blown save tour hit Cincinnati this week, and his mess Thursday afternoon might be enough to force a change. Marmol didn't retire any of the five batters he faced (one hit, three walks, one critical infield error), and as a result he fritted away the 3-0 lead Ryan Dempster entrusted to him. Marmol couldn't command his slider or his fastball; only six of his 18 pitches went for strikes.

Marmol's ERA jumped to 6.23 after the outing, and his WHIP stands at 2.31. He's walked 12 men against eight strikeouts over his 8.2 innings of work. His ball still moves plenty, but he has no idea where it's going.

If you want to defend Marmol's latest mess, you can point to the grounder that Ian Stewart botched. Stewart had an easy out on the play if he fielded the ball cleanly, and a double play was a possibility. Instead he let the ball play him and the Reds were given an extra out (perhaps two) to work with. When you're rolling bad, you don't seem to get the breaks.  

We should also point out that technically Marmol wasn't tagged with a blown save from Thursday's game (damn you, Jerome Holtzman); the Cubs were still ahead by a run when Marmol was lifted, so the save situation transferred to Rafael Dolis, the ensuing reliever. All Dolis had to do is retire three men and strand the bases loaded and he'd be given his first career handshake. Talk about working without a net.

Dolis actually handled the ninth skillfully — he coaxed a double-play grounder from Devin Mesoraco, which tied the game, then ended the inning on a strikeout. But his luck ran out in the tenth, when Cincinnati won the game on a single, an error from Dolis, and a sacrifice fly. Skyline Chili for everyone, this one belongs to the Reds.

Enough of the action on the field. Here's what Gordon Wittenmyer of the Chicago Sun-Times had to report from the Cubs locker room:

After his latest ninth-inning meltdown, Carlos Marmol might lose his closer job.

"There's definitely a thought of it now,'' Cubs manager Dale Sveum said. "I can't lie to you."

Sveum said James Russell — the only left-hander in his bullpen — and rookie Rafael Dolis are the options he would consider, leaving former All-Star closer Kerry Wood out of the discussion in the aftermath of Thursday's loss to the Cincinnati Reds.

Okay, that's a start. Russell and Dolis could be in the mix, and Wood apparently isn't. Unfortunately, the statistical cases for Russell and Dolis aren't particularly strong.

Russell has 7.2 scoreless innings to his credit this year (6 H, 4 BB, 8 K), that sounds nice. But his career numbers don't point to a high-leverage role. Right-handed batters have a .305/.360/.465 career slash against the lefty; that could be a problem if he's asked to close. And for his career he has an ordinary strikeout rate and a low ground-ball rate; again, this is not the profile of a ninth-inning stopper.

Dolis has a 3.52 ERA and 1.24 WHIP after his matinee appearance, and he's been one of the trusted relievers on the club all year. But then you see his backward K/BB rate (just four whiffs against eight walks) and you want to run the other way. His five seasons in the minors were lukewarm at best: 3.69 ERA, 6.9 K/9, 4.5 BB/9. Keep in mind he never pitched above Double-A in the minors.

What's going to happen here? You've got me. Maybe Sveum and pitching coach Chris Bosio can find a way to fix Marmol; if you own Marmol, take heart that he still has the highest upside on the club, and he's not being chased by anyone exciting. Perhaps Wood will get back into the mix if and when his shoulder appears healthy. Maybe Dolis or Russell will get their chance and run with it. (Or maybe the hapless Cubs won't see another save chance until August; by then, the Bears will own the city. Mike Ditka certainly wouldn't stand for this weakness in the clutch.)

For those of you who aren't desperate for saves, be lucky you don't have to waste time, waiver resources and roster space on this fool's errand. For those that need the handshakes desperately, I welcome your comments in the section below. Maybe something good will come out of this mess eventually. Place your bets, save chasers.

Friday Confirmation: Marmol is out, at least for now. Dolis and Russell will head up the committee. The Cubs have a matinee game with the Dodgers coming, so we might have another stand-alone meltdown to watch in a few hours.

Every full slate of baseball gives us something juicy and fun to digest, but Wednesday's haul stands as the leader in the clubhouse through five weeks. We saw three walkoff homers, a snappy debut from a touted rookie, a crazy 15-13 game between two division kingpins, an umpiring gaffe for the ages … but the best was reserved for last.

Jered Weaver, as you surely have heard by now, no-hit the Twins. Outrageous in the OC. Here's a look at the game tape. Weaver struck out nine, walked just one, and wrapped it up on 121 pitchers.

There's not much fantasy spin needed on Weaver; everyone knows he's one of the top pitchers in baseball (real and fantasy), a true ace. When I ranked all the starting pitchers in last week's Shuffle Up, Weaver checked in as the No. 4 commodity — and it didn't generate any discussion, pro or con. We know who this guy is, how valuable he is. Weaver's style might catch some people by surprise (he's a fly-ball pitcher with an ordinary fastball — in the high 80s most of Wednesday night), but you can be successful with that profile.

The bigger fantasy takeaway comes with the Twins offense. Remember, Jerome Williams threw a three-hit shutout at these guys in advance of Weaver's gem. Minnesota's hitting has actually been strong at Target Field this year, but the Twins haven't hit a lick on the road. They've got a .207/.265/.298 slash out of a suitcase in 2012, far and away the worst line in the majors. Rod Carew isn't walking through that door, Kent Hrbek isn't walking through that door, Disco Danny Ford isn't walking through that door. Heck, Justin Morneau isn't walking through that door, either.

Jason Vargas (26 percent owned) should be your first streaming target if you're looking to pick on the Twins. He's in line for a Friday turn at Safeco, with Carl Pavano on the other side. Nothing intimidating about that assignment. Vargas isn't a smoke-thrower but he does have an acceptable K/BB ratio (27 whiffs, 11 walks), and a 3.38 ERA and 1.04 WHIP play in any format. His career ratios at Safeco are solid (3.57/1.21), and remember those were compiled against all opponents, good and bad. The punchless Twins are as tasty a matchup as you can get right now. Let's take advantage.

Like any streaming pick, there's nothing guaranteed here. The Ivan Nova play Wednesday certainty didn't work out (oh, those plucky Orioles). But the idea in this game is to make as many sound decisions as you can, to put yourself in good positions consistently. The idea is to win over the long haul, knowing that there will be plenty of individual days where things don't work out. Variance will always be a part of the game.

As for other plays against Minnesota; here's what they face for the next six games, starting on Friday: Vargas, Felix Hernandez, Hector Noesi (you're on your own), then home games with Weaver, Dan Haren and Ervin Santana. It's a shame we can't jump on more streamers here, but that's the way the schedule falls. We'll have plenty of chances to pick on Minnesota later in the season.

• The Cardinals have the best offense in baseball right now, so it wasn't that shocking that they absolutely pounded A.J. Burnett on Wednesday night (12 H, 12 R, 2 HR). Be that as it may, I'm not going to make a significant change to Burnett's fantasy value. I still like him as a now-and-then streamer in mixed leagues, and in a mono-format I'd look into trading for him right now, while the 12-run scar is fresh. Burnett was sharp in his first two turns, and he should rebound next week, back at home and against a Washington offense that doesn't scare anyone. What's done is done. There's still a respectable pitcher here, honest.

• I'm sick of writing about Heath Bell, but Closing Time's soul is the save chase, and we have to pay attention when a bullpen is volatile. With that in mind, to San Francisco we go.

The blown save stat is misleading in its definition, let's establish that up front. Bell was the man who made the mess in the bottom of the ninth at AT&T Park on Wednesday (allowing three straight hits before his removal), but backup man Steve Cishek gets tagged with the blown save because the score didn't get squared until he entered the game. Mind you, all Cishek did was allow a couple of infield singles (one of them was essentially a squeeze bunt) and he was otherwise terrific in his two innings (no walks, three strikeouts). Giancarlo Stanton's tenth-inning homer off Santiago Casilla put Miami back ahead, so Cishek picked up a victory for his trouble.

As for Bell's stint, it wasn't as bad as the box score looks. Brandon Belt opened the ninth with a double to left-center, a softly-hit line drive. Left fielder Bryan Petersen didn't get a good read on the ball - you couldn't call it an error, but on a different day maybe he catches it. Joaquin Arias followed with a soft single to right, a good piece of two-strike hitting (even if Bell didn't perfectly locate the pitch). Buster Posey followed with a sharp single to right, on a Bell fastball that caught too much of the plate. And with that, Bell was done for the night.

Ozzie Guillen hasn't specifically laid out his emergency bullpen plan if Bell needs a demotion (at least I haven't heard it — if you have, share the word in the comments), but Cishek's numbers are begging for a chance. The tall, sidewinding righty is murder when he has the platoon split in his advantage, and he's been fine against lefties for his career, too (.216/.316/.286). While Edwin Mujica has the more traditional closer look and style, Cishek's been the bullpen's best arm this year. If I had one roster spot dedicated to a Marlins hedge, I'd give it to Cishek. He's ready for pickup in 92 percent of Yahoo! leagues, and Ozzie had some praise for Cishek after Wednesday's game.

But the big-picture conclusion remains the same in Miami, what we've been saying all along; the team has a built-in reason to get Bell fixed: that bloated three-year, $27 million contract. I don't have any pull with Guillen and I've forgotten all of my high school Spanish (sorry Mr. Agostino), but I'll be stunned if Bell isn't given most of the chances going forward, unless he's absolutely horrible and forces a change. Mind you, a temporary day off or a brief switch is possible (maybe even likely), but unless the Marlins decide there's a physical problem with Bell, I think it eventually shifts back to business as usual.

It doesn't mean I want to trade for Bell, mind you. And I'm glad I cashed in my one Bell share a few days ago. But it's probably going to take more than one bad five-week stretch for Bell to get buried; that's how I'm reading the Guillen tea leaves right now. If you've got a different read on Miami's save chase, I'm all ears.

• What the heck do we do with the Baltimore Orioles, and specifically, the Baltimore pitching staff? The setup is tricky for this team and group, but we can't ignore how well these men are performing.

Jake Arrieta was coming off two so-so starts before Wednesday's assignment in The Bronx and I didn't have high expectations for him. Silly me: Arrieta cruised through eight dominant innings (5 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 9 K), scoring his second victory of the year. Arrieta's 3.52 ERA doesn't grab you, perhaps, but he's collected 33 strikeouts against just nine walks and his WHIP just moved under 1.00.

I'm not going to play the "AL-only" card with Arrieta because you guys know that stuff already. Anyone with a pulse is valuable in a mono league, and Arrieta is surely long gone in those formats. Recommending him for only-leagues is just a waste of time and a slap in everyone's face. The question we need to worry about is this: can we trust Arrieta (and other Baltimore pitchers) in mixed formats?

My long-running respect (if not fear) for the AL East hitting environment sometimes gets a few readers in a huff, but the numbers back me up. Consider what's happened through five weeks: the Red Sox are fourth in the majors in runs, the Jays are sixth, the Yankees are seventh and the Rays are ninth. Heck, the spunky Orioles are 11th. Four of the parks in this division are favorable for scoring and/or home runs, and every club here has a respectable lineup. (Sure, it's only five weeks, but Baltimore's opponents have been scoring consistently for years. Go through the data if you need the backup. It's all there.)

I know it's the simplest roto rule going and it's something that most of you already know, but I strongly prefer to ignore AL East pitchers unless they absolutely force their way onto my mixed-league roster. Sabathia, Price, Shields, Lester, sure, we'll have room for those guys. Everyone else, I'll get to you when I get to you - and if someone else beats me to the bunch, so it goes.

The Orioles just finished a series win over the Yanks, bully for them. But the May schedule isn't going to let up for a while. Baltimore faces Boston, Texas, Tampa Bay and New York over its next 12 games, and those matches come without any off days in the middle. If Uncle Buck's Boys are going to be a legitimate story for 2012, we should know in a couple of weeks. I'm not buying in yet.

Speed Round: Someday Chipper Jones will be in the Hall of Fame. Jason Giambi? Maybe. Ian Desmond? Doubtful. But they all share Wednesday's spotlight, hitting walk-off homers in their respective games (Jones described Atlanta's 15-13 victory as "psychotic" and you won't get any argument from me). Chipper has some daily-league juice if you have admirable offensive depth (and don't mind doing a lot of lineup jockeying), but I don't trust him enough in a weekly league, because we all know an injury is eventually coming . . . Will Middlebrooks got off to a strong push in his Boston debut, with a single, double, walk and stolen base. He also struck out once. The Red Sox aren't going to put too much pressure on the 23-year-old right away; he batted eighth on Wednesday. Meanwhile, Old Man Youkilis was officially placed on the disabled list . . . Brian Fuentes has 200 saves in the major leagues, hard to digest. He landed on that round number Wednesday (and in shaky fashion), taking over for Grant Balfour, who needed a rest . . . Another tough days for injuries, if you own guys like Josh Beckett (sore lat, will miss weekend turn), B.J. Upton (quad injury, not playing Thursday), Mat Gamel (torn ACL, probably out for the year), or my personal favorite, Pablo Sandoval (hand or wrist injury, left early Wednesday) . . . Jeff Samardzija seems to have righted the ship; he was money against the Reds (7.2 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 2 BB, 7 K). All this guy needs to do is stick around the strike zone, because he clearly has swing-and-miss stuff. It won't be easy against Atlanta's offense next week, but I'll likely use him anyway. Carlos Marmol had a rare clean save (with two strikeouts), though hacking Drew Stubbs turned a likely walk into a whiff, and home plate umpire Dana DeMuth gave Marmol a couple of borderline pitches on the inside corner . . . Stephen Drew (ankle) is finally ready to begin his rehab assignment.

It's time to fix the frame on this Albert Pujols story. The "homerless drought" narrative doesn't really capture the issue.

The problem isn't that he's not hitting homers — the problem is that he's not hitting, period.

Pujols, as fantasy owners know more than anyone, just had a nightmarish April. He slashed an awful .217/.265/.304, scored just eight runs, drove in a mere four. For some reason (probably coincidence) he's been particularly terrible on the road (.180/.196/.200), which is one reason why the Angels are 3-9 out of a suitcase.

We're talking about a first-ballot Hall of Fame lock here, someone who simply doesn't have bad months. The previous OPS nadir for Pujols came last May (.752). If you want to consider partial months, there was a .715 OPS back in June of 2006. Pujols has never logged less than 147 games since hitting the majors in 2001. His average fantasy season stacks up this way: .328-117-40-120-8. He's been the ultimate set-it-and-forget-it player in our make-believe world.

There are plenty of theories to the Pujols slump, of course. Maybe he's hiding an injury. Maybe the adjustment to a new team and league is messing him up. Maybe the pressure of the contract is getting to him. Maybe he's really 59 years old, maybe his Faustian Pact finally expired. 

A lot of general baseball observers seem to think it's just small-sample variance with Pujols; he'll come out of it eventually, go back to being an offensive overlord. But that's easy to say when you don't have a roto investment parked on Pujols.

In the comments below, I'd like to know how you are handling the Pujols story. If you own him, how concerned are you? What's the weakest one-for-one offer you'd accept for Pujols? If you don't own Pujols, are you willing to buy in? What's the best player you'd be willing to dish for Pujols, one-for-one? (Don't bother with patchwork offers; we all understand the hole in that logic.)

Say you were entering a fresh draft starting right now. Where would you slot Pujols? Top 5? Top 10? Top 20? Top 40? Are you dead set against drafting him?

I'll have full corner Shuffle Up prices released on Thursday, but today is your day. We're just looking for clues at the scene of the crime. Let's get through this together.

You guys are never going to believe this, but Kevin Youkilis is hurt. Stunning news. Unforeseeable. A total gut-punch. Youkilis has been an iron man this season (by his standards), appearing in 18 of Boston's 23 games. You can't ask for much more than that, right? No, of course you can't.

But the constant grind of playing three out of every four games for an entire month has finally caught up with the 33-year-old Youkilis. He's been sidelined recently with a lower back strain, a worrisome injury for a guy who visited the disabled list with back trouble last season. Nick Punto has been forced into the Red Sox lineup, which is ... well, it's not ideal. Let's just leave it at that.

If Youks out of action for an extended period of time, then 23-year-old prospect Will Middlebrooks is likely to get the call — perhaps as early as Wednesday according to various reports. (Here's Alex Speier's take, here's Gordon Edes). Middlebrooks has terrorized International League pitchers this season, hitting .333/.380/.677 with nine homers, 27 RBIs and three steals. Baseball America ranked him as the No. 1 prospect in Boston's system entering 2012, and so far the kid looks the part. He's crushing both lefties and righties, hitting well at home and on the road.

Based on the likelihood of a call-up, Middlebrooks is a player worth adding in any mixed league of respectable size. He certainly deserves an add in, say, a 12-team mixed format that uses a Corner Infield spot. There's a lot to like with Middlebrooks — respectable power included — and he'll get regular at-bats when promoted. The Red Sox absolutely need to see him perform at the major league level at some point this season, because the front office faces big roster decisions in the near future, with Youkilis in an option year.

We're not promising immediate success for Middlebrooks, just for the record. There are some flaws apparent here, as he drew only 26 free passes last season in 116 games, and he whiffed 114 times. But given the recent outbreak of injuries at third base (Longoria, Beltre, Youkilis), many of you are no doubt looking to make a move, and not everyone can add Chris Davis (48 percent owned and climbing).

Middlebrooks is long-gone in competitive AL-only leagues and dynasty formats, so we won't bother to address those owners. If you're in a deep mixer and need assistance at the corner, kick the tires. Embrace the potential, accept the risk.

More often than not this column is about who to pick up, who to believe in, who's on the rise. But today, we're going in the other direction, we're getting mean, we're writing out a pink slip.

Today, I implore you to drop Ubaldo Jimenez. Cut the cord. Write out the pink slip. Kick him to the curb. Move on with your life, give another pitcher a chance.

Jimenez had another messy start in Tuesday's loss at Chicago, allowing eight hits and seven runs (four earned) over 4.2 messy innings. What's more of an indictment: walking six against just one strikeout, or giving up three hits (including a homer) to Gordon Beckham? You decide.

The stats and the scouts are all in agreement on Jimenez: he's a hot mess in 2012. His surface stats are crushing fantasy teams (5.02 ERA, 1.74 WHIP, 20 walks against 14 strikeouts) and it's not like he's tricking hitters (21.4 line-drive rate, 4.9 percent swinging-strike rate). His fastball velocity, which was in the 94-96 range for the best of his Colorado days, averages 92.0 this year. His wonky delivery is all over the place, anything but repeatable.

I knew market confidence in Jimenez was dead two weeks ago, when he was offered to me three separate times in unsolicited trades. Jimenez for Jose Valverde? Sorry, buddy, I have a TV and the Internet, too. Jimenez has since been dropped in that league.

Starting pitchers tend to be a fickle lot, of course. Maybe Jimenez is hurt right now, or maybe there's a simple mechanical tweak that will fix him down the road. But in a typical mixed league, there's no need to struggle with a collapsing starter – you can always find acceptable replacement pitching elsewhere. Let Jimenez be a problem for someone else. In the words of the timeless Norm Peterson, give him the one way ticket to Dump City.

Jimenez is still rostered in 78 percent of Yahoo! leagues, a number I find shocking. Come on, gamers, you're better than that. Time to go shopping. Jimenez has wrecked your ratios enough for one quarter.

While you're pointing and clicking for a new pitcher, here are some other roto stories from the Tuesday sandlots:

• Heath Bell finally gave us the smooth 1-2-3 handshake we've been pining for, though he got some breaks at San Francisco. Brandon Belt swung at two pitches out of the strike zone in his three-pitch at-bat, a curious approach given how much Bell has struggled with control this year. Belt ultimately flew out to right and Nate Schierholtz skied to center. Ryan Theriot followed with what looked to be a clean double inside the right-field line, but first-base umpire Jerry Meals waved the ball foul. The game then ended on a routine grounder to second. Considering the three-year, $27 million deal Bell signed, he's going to get plenty of chances to make this closer gig work.

A handful of other struggling Marlins got off the skids: Jose Reyes reached base twice, stole a base and scored a run, Hanley Ramirez had a hit, bag and RBI, and Giancarlo Stanton finally launched his second homer. My stance on them going forward hasn't changed: I think Reyes will be fine, I'm always worried about something going wrong with Ramirez, and I'd sell on Stanton as soon as you can find something worth selling. You'll probably have to accept a loss on Stanton if you work off his March price — everyone knows about the knee problem — but I think it's still worth it. You can't be married with how you viewed these players on May 15, the values are forever fluid.

• When I saw Dee Gordon's home run show up on the Tuesday ticker, I thought for sure it had to be an inside-the-park job, a line drive to the gaps of Colorado. Alas, it was a no-doubter all the way; Baby Flash absolutely crushed a juicy offering from Jhoulys Chacin. The rest of the lineup found Chacin just as hospitable (4.2 IP, 11 H, 7 R, 4 BB, 3 K, 3 HR); although the Colorado righty still has a nifty strikeout rate, his control problems and gopher-ball issues push you away.

The hosts made the things interesting in the late innings, but the Dodgers eventually secured the game with their original bullpen blueprint. Kenley Jansen worked the eighth (allowing one run and a couple of hits) and Javy Guerra closed up, striking out three of the four men he faced in the ninth. Guerra's game-ending strikeout of Carlos Gonzalez might have been a pivotal moment in this bullpen; if Gonzo gets a hit, perhaps the Dodgers are looking at a closer change going forward. Instead, it's business as usual.

• I watched every pitch from Adam Wainwright (something I'm wont to do) and I saw the same guy we've observed for most of the season. His fastball is still a few ticks off where it used to be in his glory days and more importantly, he'd not commanding it as well as he'd like to. But he's not walking anyone and he's still getting strikeouts, and the final line was useful, especially with a victory attached (7 IP, 5 H, 4 R, 1 BB, 6 K, 2 HR). Jose Tabata and Arcade Propaganda Item Pedro Alvarez (seriously, go get him) went deep off Wainwright, and Rod Barajas crushed a fastball off the center field wall, missing a dinger by a few feet. I'd still trade for Wainwright in a second if you can find a nervous owner looking to sell. Better days are ahead.

Allen Craig's 2012 debut had a slow start (two early strikeouts) but he rallied late, producing a couple of singles and a stolen base. He knocked in one run and drove in one. Craig started at first base, showing that versatility we know and love; he's played every position on the diamond during his career except shortstop, pitcher and catcher. Just find a way to get him into the lineup, Mike Matheny.

• I had another long look at Jarrod Parker and it's easy to be impressed. He's got three decent pitches and remarkable poise, and he didn't flinch one bit working in Fenway Park against what might be the AL's best offense. Parker worked into the seventh and finished with a strong line (6.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 2 BB, 4 K). Here's your scouting video, see what you think of it.

To be fair, it was a rainy night in Boston and the wind was gusting in, crushing just about anything hit in the air, but that's not going to stem my conclusion. In any standard 12-team mixer where the innings or start cap isn't crazy-low, Parker should be on a roster. Use him for all the Oakland turns, be judicious on the road. He's in the majors to stay.

Parker's first win almost didn't happen because Grant Balfour blew up in the ninth, allowing four of five men to reach. Lefty Jordan Norberto was summoned for the final two outs (Brian Fuentes worked the seventh), whiffing Lars Anderson (I guess James Hetfield was unavailable) and getting Dustin Pedroia to ground out. Kevin Youkilis was shown limbering up and stretching out prior to the Anderson at-bat, but it either was a ploy from the Boston dugout or it turned into a fruitless mission. The wait for Will Middlebrooks goes on (perhaps we'll see him as soon as today).

• Jon Niese couldn't find his best form at Minute Maid Park, allowing five runs and a couple of homers over three washout innings. It's hard to concentrate in Houston, what with all the pretty girls in the stands. Jed Lowrie clocked a two-run homer and added three walks; the only skill he's lacking in his short career is "health" but otherwise, I'm completely sold on him. Brett Myers and his ZZ Top beard rocked the ninth inning, throwing 11 stress-free pitches and getting a 1-2-3 handshake. Don't mess with Tejas. I just hope Myers can sneak out 20-25 saves before the Astros start to aggressively shop him around.

• A quick word about those buzzy Washington Nationals; you know, the guys with Strasburg and Harper. This team can't hit — at least, it hasn't hit a lick through five weeks. The Nats rank 28th in three key offensive categories (runs, batting average, home runs), and their .323 slugging percentage is worst in the majors. Injuries are part of the story, sure, but even when everyone is hale, there will be holes in this lineup. Teasing Trevor Cahill strolled through 22 outs in Washington on Tuesday (6 H. 1 R, 1 BB, 5 K), collecting 17 ground-ball outs along the way. Are you rolling with Joe Saunders as a Wednesday streamer? I didn't go that route because I don't like his strikeout potential, but I can see the pro side of the argument.

Speed Round: Maybe it's time for Luke Hochevar to go Fraggle Rock full time, because he's not getting anyone out. The Tigers threw 12 hits and nine runs at him Tuesday, pushing the ERA up to 7.36. At what point do the Royals accept that Hochevar needs a shot in the bullpen? . . . Phil Hughes is who we thought he was (batting practice), but somehow Brian Matusz buzzed through The Bronx with hardly a scratch (6.1 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 BB, 4 K). I'll need more evidence from Matusz before I entertain a pickup; there's too much bad history here, and the division is a nightmare for a pitcher . . . Ty Wigginton only had one hit at Atlanta but it was good for two runs. His lineup spot is a little more secure with Jim Thome landing on the disabled list, and Wiggy always brings plenty of positions to the table (first, third, outfield). The Godfather of the Waiver Wire is still free in 83 percent of Yahoo! leagues . . . The Fernando Rodney leash keeps getting longer and longer. Rodney sealed up Tuesday's win with a three-strikeout ninth (that sideways hat drives hitters crazy), while Kyle Farnsworth (elbow) was shifted to the 60-day disabled list. Farnsworth can't return until the first week of June at the earliest, and he hasn't started throwing yet. Just accept the new reality: the Rays have fixed Rodney, and he's headed for 30-plus saves. If you own him and don't believe these things, trade him to me, I'll pay up . . . A start against Minnesota is good work if you can get it. Jerome Williams rolled through the Twins with a three-hit shutout (1 BB, 6 K), needing just 109 pitches. Send it in, Jerome! Underrated lefty Jason Vargas is a possible stream against Minnesota, drawing a Safeco start on Friday . . . This entire column was composed while listening to Radiohead. If you don't like Radiohead, donate your ears to science.

This early in the season impatience almost always breeds irrationality. Owners faced with an already disheartening deficit rush to judgment about statistical deadweights, commodities just weeks before they placed on a pedestal. Often times, these category killers come from the ranks of the hyped, green but tremendously gifted prospects that fail to deliver instant results. Inevitably, they become the first casualties in roster overhauls, pawned off to sharks for a bag of Skittles and a song. In many instances, it's these careless moves that separate the fantasy men from the boys. Take this poor member of Noise Nation (From April 21):

DaddyJuice isn't the only virtual manager sipping the Haterade over Matt Moore. Looking at the players he's attracted in recent one-for-one industry deals — Brian McCann, Jose Altuve, Brian LaHair and Santiago Casilla — many have hastily jumped ship.

Surely, they're all in MENSA.

Underselling one of the best young arms in the game after a handful of starts is equivalent to booting Kate Upton from your one-man Jacuzzi party because she was a little sloppy. As spring gives way to summer, Moore will become one of the hottest properties in fantasy. The rookie is simply too talented to remain inconsistent long. Insiders around baseball unanimously agree the southpaw is a future frontline ace. One Rays scout told me this winter his stuff is "insanely good, the real deal."

According to scouting  measurements, he does indeed possess all the tangibles/intangibles needed to execute at an extraordinary level. According to Baseball America, every aspect of his game scores well above average on the 20-80 scale. His humiliating mid-90s fastball and knee-buckling curve, in particular, are otherworldly. His deceptive change, too, is a plus pitch. Also blessed with a veteran cool on the mound, he is a franchise pillar. It's no wonder why he sold for nearly $20 in "expert" auctions in March and well ahead of reliable arms Matt Garza, Ricky Romero and Gio Gonzalez in average Yahoo! snake drafts. Potential is very, very seducing.

So why, for the most part, has he sucked the hind teet?

A number of different ailments are plaguing him. For starters, his supposed pinpoint control has failed. With a 4.50 BB/9, he's often missed spots, leading to an uncomfortable amount of fly balls (46.8 FB%), many of which have found the cheap seats (1.50 HR/9). This also explains why his K/9 has hovered in the 7.00 range, a far cry from his 12-plus rate in the minors.

Run support has also been an issue. Winless on the season, he's received a disappointing 4.20 runs per nine, the 60th-best mark among qualifying starters. Heck, even a pair of Padres, Corey Luebke and Clayton Richard, have gotten by with more help from their friends.

Yes, many of the problems impacting the lefty's numbers are alarming, but there are also underlying signs a turnaround is imminent. Nearly 64-percent of Moore's first pitches have attracted umpire yells, well-above the 59.3-percent league average. However, present in his 10.2 swinging strike rate (Still way above the league average), the opposition has only occasionally chased his stuff, causing the youngster to work deeper in counts and rack walks. And when hitters have pulled the trigger, many have made contact (80.2 CT%), particularly on offerings over the outer half of the plate.

Location is imperative for Moore to bounce back quickly. Once he begins hitting his spots with more consistency the kid should again be the central subject of AL Rookie of the Year conversations. Despite the hurler's mediocre final line in his April 26 turn (5.2 IP, 2 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 6 K), Joe Maddon observed a pitcher that "looked more like the guy we saw last year." Channeling his inner "Carnac," the skipper added if he "keeps pitching like that, I can see many wins in his future."

Finally on the right side of the ledger Tuesday against Seattle, the Ray definitely packed plenty of sting. Granted it was against the Mariners, but he allowed just one earned over five innings, K'ing a season-high seven. Consider it a turning point. Moore faces Oakland, Baltimore and Atlanta over his next three starts, all winnable affairs.

Patience needs to be a priority this time of the year. For Moore owners who didn't bail, their loyalty will soon be repaid in a major way.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 134.1 IP, 9 W, 3.41 ERA, 1.33 WHIP, 140 K,

FLAMES OF THE WEEK (Hot properties owned in less than 50-percent of Y! leagues)

Allen Craig, StL, 2B/OF (26-percent owned)

Craig, a defensive vagabond, could soon become Mike Matheny's Mark Trumbo. The post-season hero returned to the lineup Tuesday after an extended recovery from offseason knee surgery going 2-for-4 with a run, RBI and SB. When healthy, the 28-year-old can lay the lumber. Last season in over just 200 at-bats, he compiled a .315-11-40-33-7 line. According to Baseball Monster his subsequent 69th-best per game mark among hitters ranked ahead of starting staples Starlin Castro, Adam Jones and Billy Butler. Understanding the damage he is capable of as a full-timer, Matheny will have to get creative to feed Craig regular at-bats. With Lance Berkman on the shelf, steady PT at first base is the short-term plan, though he will be eased in initially. However, when the Big Puma prowls again, he could be relegated to some sort of utility role, a gig the Post-Dispatch describes as "a modified rotation at several positions." Best guess: He'll net roughly 4-5 starts per week juggling between 1B, LF, RF, 2B and possibly 3B, a spot he manned twice last year. Because of his noticeable power and high BA potential, he could develop into one of the sharpest Swiss Army Knives in the virtual game. Throw him a Bud in 12-team and deeper mixers.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 423 at-bats, .296 BA, 20 HR, 66 RBI, 61 R, 3 SB

Chris Capuano, LAD, SP (21-percent)

Matt Kemp may be from outer space, but Capuano, too, is becoming a galactic force for the Dodgers. Purchased in many leagues, even NL-only formats, for a crisp G-Dub, the southpaw has delivered numbers worthy of a double-digit bid. Through 29.2 innings he's notched a marvelous 2.73 ERA, 1.21 WHIP, 8.80 K/9 and three wins, numbers good enough to rank him inside the top-35 among starters in Y! leagues. His 3.94 BB/9 and fly-ball heavy profile are a bit unnerving — games away from SoCal's subsiding air could get ugly — but Caps, when healthy, isn't a product completely out of left field. If he can continue to register first-pitch strikes, miss bats and avoid catching gopheritis, he has an outside chance of replicating his career-best numbers from his Brewers heyday in 2005 (18 W, 3.99 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, 176 K). An increased reliance on a cutter certainly enhances his chances. He hasn't graduated from the stream class yet in shallow mixers, but for those in challenging formats, he should continue to log quality starts.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 153.0 IP, 11 W, 3.88 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 132 K

LAMES O' THE WEAK (Soul crushers owned in more than 50-percent of Y! leagues)

Jose Reyes, Mia, SS (98-percent)

Fantasy suckage is contagious on South Beach. Giancarlo Stanton, Hanley Ramirez, Logan Morrison and Reyes have all contributed meek April numbers. Each ranks dozens, and in some cases, hundreds of slots below where they were drafted. The shortstop, in particular, has struggled the most. Currently the 668th-best hitter in the Y! game, Reyes is swinging an icicle. He's recorded just five multi-hit games, knocked in three and stolen five over 85 at-bats. Feel free to blame the ecstasy-infused walls of Marlins Park, but the underachiever's issues stem from decreased success versus fastballs, which has led to a sharp rise in groundball outs. Unless his approach against heaters steadily improves, expect 2010 with fewer homers. Considering his unappealing home environment, injury downside and batted ball concerns, it would be no shock if Mike Aviles or teammate Emilio Bonifacio bested him in total value come year's end.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 452 at-bats, .283 BA, 7 HR, 36 RBI, 66 R, 25 SB

Mat Latos, Cin, SP (85-percent)

Going from the friendliest pitcher's park in the game to a bandbox is bound to lead to depression and woe. Thus far, that's exactly what's happened to Latos. Because of the change in environment, most anticipated some sort of ERA spike, but with an increase in wins offsetting the negative. Sadly, he's managed just one W in five turns while also inflating other fantasy vitals. More discouraging, his K/9 has fallen off the continental shelf, plunging from 8.57 to 5.65. Part of his problem is likely due to slider under-use. Arguably his best offering last year, he's thrown it nearly eight-percent less of the time, instead featuring his fastball more. As a consequence, he's become more predictable and thus more prone to the long-ball, indicative in his 1.26 HR/9. There may be better days ahead for the 24-year-old, but, as his 4.55 xFIP suggests, they will likely be few and far between. Because pitching is always plentiful in 12-team mixers (e.g. Ross Detwiler is still only 39-percent owned), the heavily rostered starter is expendable.

Fearless Forecast (rest of season): 168.0 IP, 9 W, 4.26 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 149 K

QUICK HITTERS (Random musings from my demented head)

• Josh Hamilton's back strain in Sunday night's loss against the Rays is your yearly reminder to sell the former MVP high. Sure he could play 140 games, but Bartolo Colon could also finish a marathon. The guy, though incredibly productive when healthy, is held together with Elmer's glue and Juicy Fruit. Inevitably, he will land on the DL. Pray it's not the extended version. Considering he's the hottest hitter in the game not named Matt Kemp, it would be sage to dangle his services. In one-for-one industry swaps this week he was shipped for Albert Pujols, Justin Upton, Jose Bautista, Curtis Granderson and Felix Hernandez. Turn a profit.

• Kudos to Noise Nation resident @TheRealBunni for introducing his biggest #BallBustPlayers of the 2000s. Names like Rocco Baldelli, Sean Burroughs, Elijah Dukes and Lastings Milledge instantly regurgitated vile memories. Though all of those players are deserving of such a designation, my top two nutcrackers would have to be Mark Prior and Jeremy Hermida. The latter I continuously touted as a 20/20 player despite Brandon Funston's insistence he was nothing more than a below average MLB pine-rider. Credit to Funbags. Meanwhile the former, who stole my heart in 2003, owes me nearly 30 auction dollars from 2004 and 150 large for his customized jersey that same year. Knew I should've gone Ron Cey throwback.

• Pittsburgh's James McDonald is quickly becoming a poor man's Felix Hernandez. The former top farmhand in the Dodgers organization — Baseball America ranked him the No. 2 pitching prospect in LA organization in 2009 — is well on his way from shaking his stream-only label. Dominating the Bravos on the road Monday (7.2 IP, 3 ER, 10 K, W), McDonald, just four-percent owned, now sports a tidy 2.97 ERA. He has yet to surrender more than three earned in any single start this year. Because the Pirates wield plastic swords offensively, his run support will be far from generous. However, if he continues to exhibit sharp command (4.11 BB/9 in '11, 3.26 in '12), the righty may post a sub 4.00 ERA with 150-160 Ks.

• It's sad Chris Polk, who left Washington with a year of eligibility remaining, went undrafted due to nervousness over a possible degenerative shoulder. However, he couldn't ask for a better landing spot, signing with the Philadelphia Eagles post-draft. Andy Reid has already hinted he would like to reduce LeSean McCoy's workload next season, which could open the door for the rookie. Current backups Dion Lewis, Graig Cooper and Bryce Brown aren't exactly a fearsome threesome. If Polk enters camp healthy, there's no doubt he'll emerge as McCoy's sidekick come September, totaling roughly 8-12 touches per game.  His all-around polish and bruising between-the-tackles running style are well-suited for the Eagles' system. By the time draft day rolls around, he might be more than a handcuff.

• A Polish dentist faces possible serious jail time for pulling her ex-boyfriend's teeth after her patient (Marek Olzewski) shortly called off their relationship. Obviously, Marek is not dealing with a full deck. No dude in their right mind would trust a likely unstable former lover in a setting where Novocaine and sharp tools are readily available. To be fair, if his ex was Jennifer Aniston's character from "Horrible Bosses," I could completely understand his shortsightedness. Dr. Julia Harris could yank out my bicuspids any time. Without drugs. Totally worth it. No doubt Charlie Day's harasser is easily one of the top-five hottest movie characters in motion picture history.

• Bryce Harper's stylish mop is not a skullet by definition. The hairstyle, often on display at Wal-Marts throughout the country, features a bone-polished top with a Kentucky waterfall cascading down the neck. The rookie's look has plenty of business in the back but the furry woodland creature that's called his dome home is the antithesis of 'skullet' material. And before you ask, yes, I'm extremely jealous.

• Finally, in other hyper for Harper news, the expectations many within the fantasy community have bestowed upon the former No. 1 pick are a wee bit outlandish. Remember, the greatest season by an age 19 big leaguer was Ken Griffey Jr's '89 effort in which he amassed a .264-16-61-61-16 line. The prepubescent prospect will be lucky to tally a third of that. Will he be studly? Sure, but probably not for another 3-4 years. It takes time for power to develop. Recall he was only a .250/.333/.375 producer at Syracuse before his promotion. Anyone predicting marked success this year are sniffing spray paint. Case in point …

Want to bean Brad in the head? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise and be sure to check him along with Andy Behrens, Brandon Funston and Scott Pianowski on The Fantasy Freak Show (Now on iTunes) every Friday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET on Yahoo! Sports Radio

And then I strolled over to the Yahoo Friends & Family page, picked up a streamer for Wednesday. Ivan Nova, come on down.

There's a lot of conventional roto wisdom out there that I'd put in the "bad advice" file. Don't ever make a trade before June? A silly maxim: you should never close yourself off to addressing needs or taking advantage of flawed market perception. Don't touch a player off a career year? Depends on how the player is viewed in your league. Jose Bautista was an easy profit just about everywhere in 2011, driven by a lack of market confidence.

Don't chase wins? I'm tossing that one into the trash, too. Sure, wins are random, but there's a right way and a wrong way to address the statistic. I'd never use win potential as the driving way to evaluate a pitcher (and let's be honest, no one smart is doing that), but it's a modest consideration at the end of the argument.

Nova, as you might have heard, has won his last 15 decisions. He hasn't been tagged with a regular-season loss since the first week of June, 2011. His career mark is 20-6, and he's already 3-0 this year.

Why does Nova keep winning? It's not difficult to break it down.

-- He's a solid pitcher; nothing great, but not bad. Last year he averaged six innings per start and logged a 3.70 ERA. His ratio stats are messy this season, but he's also got 25 strikeouts against five walks (and he also had an outstanding K/BB rate in spring training).

-- The Yankees offense scores a ton of runs for him. This is no great shock, considering New York has been first or second in runs scored over the last three seasons. Nova was second in run support last year and he's third through the opening month of 2012.

-- The opposing matchups have been favorable for the most part. Nova isn't taking down superstar after superstar during his win parade. Here are the last 15 pitchers he's opposed in a game he went on to win: Clay Buchholz, Brian Matusz, Jerome Williams, Wade Davis, Matusz again, Nick Blackburn, Danny Duffy, Garrett Richards, Phil Humber, Zach Britton, Jonathon Niese (before the nose job), Juan Nicasio, Travis Wood, Derek Holland, and the former Fausto Carmona. That's good work if you can get it. He draws Jake Arrieta and the Orioles on Wednesday.

-- I was also prepared to add "bullpen support" to the Nova file, but he hasn't needed a lot of it through this winning stretch. Most of these games have turned into Yankee romps, blowhard practice for Michael Kay and John Sterling. Only four of Nova's last 15 wins have come with a save attached.

If I were starting a real baseball club, I wouldn't take Nova over Bud Norris, Cory Luebke, or Brandon McCarthy, say. But the womb of New York has treated Nova well. He's a good frontrunner. Heck, he's been favored in 14 of his last 15 wins (the decision over Wood last summer came as a slight underdog) and I'm sure he'll be heavy chalk in his Wednesday turn. Let's take advantage of the low-hanging fruit when it's available to us.

Art Martone, an old friend and former boss of mine, once offered these sage words to me: "Life is unfair, but it's not as unfair as everyone thinks." When it comes to chasing wins, the same logic applies. Keep making good choices, the rest will take care of itself.

• Everyone knows all about the Three True Outcomes, but there are only two seats in the Pedro Alvarez sports car. Strikeouts do the driving, home runs ride shotgun, and walks have to wait for another day.

Alvarez has been on a nifty binge over the last five days, piling up three homers and four doubles over an 8-for-22 stretch. And he hit the ball right on the button in two of his outs (Carlos Gonzalez ran one down in the gap, and an infield liner was right at Dan Uggla). Of course the strikeouts never really go away here — Alvarez has seven in this segment, and 23 for the year. But considering the pedigree at play (Alvarez was the No. 2 overall pick in the 2008 draft) and the returns we saw from him in 2010 (16 homers in 347 at-bats), we have to stay open minded. Alvarez is currently owned in just eight percent of Yahoo! leagues.

If you'd like some video to push you into a move, here's Alvarez's homer from Monday, a connection against Atlanta lefty Mike Minor. It was a Lionel Richie moment all the way, Commodore against Commodore. Alvarez won't have to sweat southpaws for the rest of the week, as the Bucs face right-handed starters exclusively against St. Louis and Cincinnati.

• We're not an injury blog but some news is too big to ignore: it looks like Evan Longoria could be on the shelf for a while. Rays beat writer Marc Topkin says Longoria might be out 6-8 weeks after injuring his hamstring in Monday's game against Seattle. The Rays have a number of versatile infielders on their roster (Jeff Keppinger, Elliott Johnson, Sean Rodriguez), so at least Joe Maddon will have plenty of options if Longoria's injury turns out to be serious.

If those names aren't moving you, here are some other widely-available commodities to consider if a Longoria stand-in is needed (all have the third-base eligibility tag): Chris Davis (35-percent owned in Yahoo), Chipper Jones (37%), Waiver-Wire patron saint Ty Wigginton (15%), Jed Lowrie (12%), or maybe that Alvarez fellow (8%) we discussed above.

• The Angels needed a win like plasma and they got one against the hapless Twins, grabbing a 4-3 victory. Scott Downs picked up the handshake in support of C.J. Wilson, retiring four of five batters and throwing 11-of-15 pitches for strikes. No reason for the Angels to rush back to Jordan Walden. If you had April 30 in the "Justin Morneau gets hurt" pool, procede to the cashier's window. He's heading back to Minnesota to have his sore wrist examined.

• There's a long-running Internet meme dealing with spring training and players who show up in improved physical condition. Someone mentions "best shape of his life" on a player and the jokes tell themselves. It's an easy punchline, a recurring hashtag.

But here's what the wiseacres don't want to acknowledge: sometimes a player really is in the best shape of his life, and sometimes it means a big season. Consider the case of David Ortiz in Boston.

Big Papi decided to dial it down to Medium Sized Papi last winter, dropping 25 pounds. He hears his biological clock ticking, at age 36, and he'd like to make a Hall of Fame run. And through a month of the new season, this certainly looks like a healthy superstar. Ortiz is off to a .405/.457/.726 barrage, with 17 runs, six homers and 20 RBIs. He's been particularly lethal against left-handed pitching (1.346 OPS), albeit he also rocked them last year, too.

The latest two Ortiz homers came Monday at Fenway, as the Red Sox crushed the soft rock of Tommy Milone (4.2 IP, 8 H, 8 R, 7 R, 1 BB, 5 K, 3 HR). Mayday, indeed. A fly-ball pitcher without bat-missing stuff has no right being streamed in a run-friendly park like this, obviously. Wait until Milone gets back to Oakland.

The Athletics at least fought back and made it a game after falling behind 11-1; they threw a five-spot at Clay Buchholz in the seventh inning and had a couple of rallies after that. Right fielder Josh Reddick continues to make things happen from the 3-spot (homer single, walk); he's still owned in just seven percent of Yahoo! leagues. Seth Smith fanned in all four of his at-bats and is down to .197, not great timing as we get closer to Manny Ramirez's drop in Oakland. Even if Planet Manny is a complete bust, it's not like the Athletics lack for DH candidates.

• Here's another roto myth for the circular file: don't bother with closers from bad teams. Brett Myers had a painless ninth against the Mets on Monday (1-2-3, 13 pitches) and rolled up handshake number five for the 9-14 Astros. The only major concern I have with Myers is the possibility of a trade later in the year; the Astros obviously aren't expected to contend and a closer is an unneeded luxury on this type of club. But considering you landed him around pick 230 last month, you're making an easy profit here. Jordan Schafer sparked Houston with two more hits and another stolen base, but the .276 average won't last if his contact rate doesn't improve (he's already stuck out 30 times).

• Stuff You Already Knew Department: Ryan Braun (three homers in San Diego), still an overlord. … Kevin Youkilis (back), still high maintenance. … Delmon Young (suspended a week by MLB), still hasn't grown up. … Juan Pierre, still reckless on the bases. … Heath Bell, still floundering (I'd go sidewinding Steve Cishek over Edward Mujica for a hedge, but that's just guess from a million miles away. I do expect the Marlins will give Bell plenty of chances to get right.). … Edwin Encarnacion, still unstoppable (eight homers, four bags, .322 average, endless Twitter love). … Allen Craig, still a hot sleeper (two homers Monday, set to be activated). … The Texas Rangers, still a juggernaut (Yu Darvish was dominant in the YYZ, outdueling Kyle Drabek, a talented kid in the wrong division.)

You know what I like about these rookie outfielders? We get older, they stay the same age. (Yes they do, yes they do.)

We return to Texas for this week's Sunday Night Fantasy Chat. Party at the moontower. Full kegs (well, bring your own drinks), everybody's gonna be there (well, the Rangers and Rays). You ready to ditch the two geeks in the car and join us? Be a lot cooler if you did.

Crank up the Aerosmith, sign the commitment to your roto team, and slide on over at 8 pm eastern time. We'll discuss Lynn and Linklater, save chasing and Lincecum hazing, Redbirds and redheads. And watch the leather, man.

Chat applet is yours after the jump. Here's to a championship season in '76.

Yes, that's a big Mark Buehrle photo up above, right there ^. No, this does not make me a Buehrle apologist. As a fantasy commodity, he clearly has some flaws.

Over the past three seasons, Buehrle's K/9 is just 4.48, a ridiculously low rate that makes him difficult to own in any roto format that uses an innings cap — like, for instance, a Yahoo! public rotisserie league (1400 IP max). You've got no shot to compete in strikeouts if you carry a 200-inning pitcher who struggles to reach triple-digits in Ks. (For the record, Buehrle struck out only 99 batters over 210.1 innings in 2010). Even in the National League, the veteran lefty has to be regarded as a spot-starter for fantasy purposes, nothing more.

But in the week ahead, feel free to use him twice. Buehrle will get a home match-up with Arizona and a road start at San Diego. Both teams rank at or near the bottom of the N.L. in batting average (.237 and .191), and at the top of the league in total strikeouts (175, 177). There are no aces on the schedule for Buehrle. He'll face 22-year-old Diamondbacks call-up Patrick Corbin on Monday, then Pads lefty Clayton Richard (5.11 ERA) at Petco on Saturday. If you need pitching assistance in a weekly transaction league, this is a boring add that you should seriously consider. Buehrle is available in 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues, so plenty of you can go get him.

Here's the rest of the Week 5 two-start field, ranked and sorted...

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Full approval

Matt Cain — MIA (Nolasco), MIL (Wolf)
Cole Hamels — at ATL (Beachy), at WAS (Zimmermann)
Adam Wainwright — PIT (Morton), at HOU (Norris)
Jordan Zimmermann — ARI (Cahill), PHI (Hamels)
Mark Buehrle — ARI (Corbin), at SD (Richard)
Vance Worley — CHC (Samardzija), at WAS (Gonzalez)

I was definitely tempted to put 'em in the "Full approval" group. But in my heart, I'm a coward

Ricky Nolasco — at SF (Cain), at SD (Wieland)
Mike Minor — PIT (McDonald), at COL (Nicasio)
Brandon Beachy — PHI (Hamels), at COL (Chacin)
RA Dickey — at HOU (Norris), ARI (Cahill)

Not approved for all audiences

Joe Wieland — MIL (Wolf), MIA (Nolasco)
Jeff Samardzija — at PHI (Worley), LAD (Capuano)
Trevor Cahill — at WAS (Zimmermann), at NYM (Dickey)

Scary pitchers, friendly match-ups

Randy Wolf — at SD (Wieland), at SF (Cain)
Bronson Arroyo — CHC (Volstad), at PIT (Morton)

Look, it's your fantasy team. You paid the entry fee. I can't force you to bench anyone

Juan Nicasio — LAD (Harang), ATL (Minor)
Aaron Harang — at COL (Nicasio), at CHC (Volstad)
Bud Norris — NYM (Dickey), STL (Wainwright)
Jhoulys Chacin — LAD (Lilly), ATL (Beachy)
James McDonald — at ATL (Minor), CIN (Latos)

Didn't even want to list these guys, but that's not how this feature works

Patrick Corbin — at MIA (Buehrle), at NYM (Santana)
Charlie Morton — at STL (Wainwright), CIN (Arroyo)
Chris Volstad — at CIN (Arroyo), LAD (Harang)

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Un-benchable

CJ Wilson — MIN (Blackburn), TOR (Drabek)
Yu Darvish — at TOR (Drabek), at CLE (Tomlin)
Felix Hernandez — at TB (Hellickson), MIN (Marquis)
Hiroki Kuroda — BAL (Hammel), at KC (Hochevar)
Chris Sale — CLE (Tomlin), at DET (Below)
Matt Moore — SEA (Noesi), OAK (Milone)
Jeremy Hellickson — SEA (Hernandez), OAK (Colon)

I guess a case can be made for starting these guys, but I'd rather not make it

Tommy Milone — at BOS (Buccholz), at TB (Moore)
Kyle Drabek — TEX (Darvish), at LAA (Wilson)
Jason Hammel — at NYY (Kuroda), at BOS (Buchholz)

Disgusting year-to-date stats, but nice match-ups this week. It seems like we're always pairing these two, aren't we?

Clay Buchholz — OAK (Milone), BAL (Hammel)
Phil Hughes — BAL (Matusz), KC (Sanchez)

Bad ideas

Jerome Williams — MIN (Hendriks), TOR (Hutchison)
Duane Below — KC (Hochevar), CWS (Sale)
Luke Hochevar — at DET (Below), NYY (Kuroda)
Jonathan Sanchez — at DET (Porcello), NYY (Hughes)
Drew Hutchison — TEX (Feliz), at LAA (Williams)
Hector Noesi — at TB (Moore), MIN (Blackburn)

Extra-bad ideas

Nick Blackburn — at LAA (Wilson), at SEA (Noesi)
Josh Tomlin — at CWS (Sale), TEX (Darvish)

Anxious. Impatient. Grumpy. Since the last second expired on the NFL season at Lucas Oil Field nearly four months ago, loyal Lions, Bears and Bengals supporters, to name a few, have hibernated in man-caves waiting for next year to begin. Sure the 'Shandy' may help pass along summer's dog days, but for those with an insatiable appetite for pigskin, the sweltering heat can't come and go soon enough.

Though training camps don't officially open until late July, the NFL Draft is the first step in reawakening the fantasy beast. Simply put, it gets people thinking and talking about fake football. And for those who quickly exited the playoffs last December, it sparks a renewed sense of optimism. In April, anything is possible. That is, unless you're a "cursed" Calvin Johnson owner in a keeper league. To those unfortunate few, the Noise offers his condolences.

This year's rookie crop is one of the finest to come along in years. A handful of incredibly talented players will be thrust into favorable situations, where statistical stardom could be immediately achieved.

In recent years, first-year commodities have typically fared only marginally on the virtual gridiron. Of course, there are exceptions. Cam Newton's historic 2011 carried many to championship glory. However, for every stud there are at least three duds. Ryan Mathews buyers, for example, who plunked down a large chunk of cheddar in 2010 presumably still hold a grudge. In fact, because of the air-focused evolution of the NFL, freshmen running backs have suffered the most. None have produced a top-10 return over a full season since Matt Forte in 2008. But, to be fair, DeMarco Murray (11.1 points per game in standard formats over seven starts) and Roy Helu (15.1 ppg in five starts) were strong RB2s in 12-team leagues when inserted into the starting lineup last year.

After weeks of poking, prodding and Wonderlicking, destinations are now determined. What newcomers will be cornerstones on fantasy rosters next season? Here's a half-rack of players poised to make an impact (in order of projected contribution):

Robert Griffin III, Was, QB
Current Average Draft Position (ADP): 90.5 (QB12)

The reigning Heisman winner may have gone No. 2, but he's clearly no Rick Mirer. Remarkably athletic, supremely intelligent and deadly accurate, RGIII is a perfectly constructed machine. Yes, he is a terrific open-field runner, but comparisons to Michael Vick couldn't be more off-base. In reality, he's Dan Marino with legs, a polished multi-dimensional asset. Scrambling ability is what often drives the fantasy engine among QBs. Though Newton's historic ground numbers likely won't be duplicated, Griffin could still produce a top-10 line at his position by achieving half that, unless he's overly selfish. In that case, expect much, much more. Throw in a better-than-advertised receiving corps headed by underrated tight end Fred Davis and a sound rush attack, and it's highly probable "Socks" finishes alongside or just ahead of traditional QB1s Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers and Tony Romo. Slated to tango with New Orleans and St. Louis to open the season, he will undoubtedly storm out of the gate, making him arguably the finest mid-round target in fantasy.

Fearless Forecast (16 games): 3,773 passing yards, 24 passing touchdowns, 20 interceptions, 620 rushing yards, 5 rushing touchdowns

Trent Richardson, Cle, RB
Current ADP: 28.9 (RB16)

Without question Cleveland's newest junkyard dog is the complete package. He's a bulldozing interior runner with plus burst, open-field wiggle, terrific lateral quickness, sticky hands and sound blocking ability, a rare workhorse back in a timeshare age. There are little to no flaws in his game. Comparisons to Adrian Peterson are unfounded. Richardson isn't as dynamic a runner, but his all-around skill set is more well-rounded than All-Day's was when he entered the league in 2007. In actuality, he's a bigger version of Maurice Jones-Drew. Cleveland's offensive line underachieved last year, but still has plenty of talent to quickly reverse course. If the barkers up front can execute at a 2010 level and Brandon Weeden can rectify a passing game that averaged an atrocious 193.1 yards per game a season ago, the Tide could roll along Lake Erie. Expected to touch the rock upwards of 20-plus times per game, Richardson could finish just shy of the RB upper-echelon, in the 8-10 range. He'll be a steal in Round 3.

Fearless Forecast (16 games): 286 attempts, 1,229 rushing yards, 37 receptions, 294 receiving yards, 10 total touchdowns

Coby Fleener, Ind, TE
Current ADP: 154.2 (TE16)

Reunited, and  it's going to feel oh so good. Fleener re-teams with Luck after a stirring three-years of football bliss in Palo Alto. During that span the duo combined for 83 receptions, 1,367 yards and 18 touchdowns. The second-round pick could be the latest and greatest oversized target in a league where hybrid tight ends are all the rage. Quick-footed, tacky-handed and route savvy, he is a matchup nightmare who will keep defensive coordinators up at night, the definition of a zone buster. Also with Indy adding Clemson beast Dwayne Allen, it's clear offensive coordinator Bruce Arians plans to showcase numerous two tight-end sets, possibly flaring Fleener out wide to exploit single coverage, a tactic the Colts often used when Dallas Clark wore the Horseshoe. Because Reggie Wayne is on the decline, Austin Collie is seemingly always concussed and due to his familiarity with Luck, Fleener could attract upwards of 7-8 targets per game right away. It's extremely rare rookie tight ends leave an indelible mark in fantasy. Rob Gronkowski owns the position record for best per game output in a season accumulating 7.2 ppg with the Pats in 2010.  But given his extraordinary situation the former Cardinal could soar to uncharted top-10 heights in '12.

Fearless Forecast: 71 receptions, 986 receiving yards, 6 total touchdowns

[Yahoo! Sports Shop: Buy NFL player T-shirts and team gear]

Doug Martin, TB, RB
Current ADP: 109.0 (RB43)

When the Bucs traded up to select Martin at No. 27, LeGarrette Blount likely slugged some poor, unfortunate soul. Billed as a jack-of-all-trades back, the Boise State product doesn't possess a wow factor in any single category. Simply, he's rock solid across the board. Several scouts have generously compared him to Baltimore's Ray Rice. Tampa head coach Greg Schiano, who coached Rice at Rutgers, "sees" the similarities. However, in my estimation, he's a shorter Fred Jackson, a quick-footed, gritty interior rusher with polished versatility who also houses enough finesse to break runs off the edge. Because of Blount's buttery hands and relative uselessness in the pass game, Tampa envisions the youngster as a "three-down back." If that viewpoint carries over into the regular season, he's a near lock for 12-15 touches per game. Considering the Bucs' plus offensive line and acquisition of field-stretcher Vincent Jackson, Martin could tally plenty of yards per touch. It's hard to argue against him as a mid-level RB2 in 12-team leagues.

Fearless Forecast: 208 attempts, 894 rushing yards, 49 receptions, 346 receiving yards, 7 total touchdowns

Andrew Luck, Ind, QB
Current ADP: 119.5 (QB16)

Among this year's bumper crop of QBs, RGIII may be the most attractive gem, but the deserving No. 1 overall pick also possesses plenty of sparkle. If not for football, the geeky Luck would be chasing Bananagram titles instead of Super Bowl rings. He generals the field with smarts and leadership skills eerily similar to Indy predecessor, Peyton Manning. Also equipped with a rocket arm and surprising speed — his 4.67 40-yard Combine time was identical to Newton's last year — he should pay instant dividends for a rebuilding Colts organization. However, his surroundings aren't ideal. Reggie Wayne is rapidly aging and Indy's ground game/offensive line are very suspect. Still, unless The Horseshoe makes miraculous advancements defensively, he could be pressed into numerous high-volume situations, fueling his fantasy potential. But, despite his blindingly bright future, Luck's inaugural campaign may parallel Andy Dalton's more so than Newton's. At this juncture, he's more of a high-end QB2 in 12-team leagues.

Fearless Forecast: 3,527 passing yards, 21 passing touchdowns, 17 interceptions, 278 rushing yards, 1 rushing touchdown

David Wilson, NYG, RB
Current ADP: 134.3 (RB51)

Speed kills. The reigning Super Bowl champs completely agree. Wilson is a rusher with rockets attached to his shoes. Explosive, hard-nosed and effective as a receiver, he is more lightning compared to the thunder Brandon Jacobs clapped during his tenure in the Big Apple. G-Men GM Jerry Reese maintained post-draft Ahmad Bradshaw is still "the lead dog," but waxed romantically about Wilson's skill set. He should. Watching him on tape, he has the look and feel of KC's Jamaal Charles. The former Hokie will likely kick-off September as a 8-12 touch per game contributor. However, due to Bradshaw's constant run-ins with the injury imp, it's plausible he nets roughly 3-5 starts at some point. Because he's an unproven timeshare back, he'll undoubtedly slip into the triple-digit picks of most drafts. But bank on him making a significant impact, similar to Murray last year, at a crucial juncture during the fantasy season. Highlight him on your cheat-sheet.

Fearless Forecast: 168 attempts, 756 rushing yards, 25 receptions, 204 receiving yards, 5 total touchdowns

Justin Blackmon, Jac, WR
Current ADP: 82.4 (WR32)

No question Blackmon is the finest WR prospect in this year's draft. Don't be deceived by his somewhat smallish 6-foot-1 frame. He plays like a man. Blessed with brute strength, a concrete grip and prizefighter toughness, Blackmon is an extraordinary talen who understandably has drawn comparisons to Anquan Boldin. Naysayers have questioned his lack of a top gear, but he more than makes up for it in his refined technique. Even when hobbled, as he was during the Fiesta Bowl last January, he is extremely difficult to contain. Yes, his situation is rather lackluster. A ball of lint has more pocket awareness than Blaine Gabbert. But if Chad Henne can overtake the incumbent, Blackmon should emerge a borderline WR2/3. Remember, the Jags, no longer the WR laughing stock of the league, greatly bolstered their vertical offense by adding Laurent Robinson and Lee Evans this offseason, acquisitions that should ease the burden on the frosh. It's doubtful he'll match the production of A.J. Green from a season ago, but a line in the vicinity of Julio Jones (54-959-8) is attainable.

Fearless Forecast: 68 receptions, 817 receiving yards, 5 receiving touchdowns

[ Michael Silver: Rams roll dice on Janoris Jenkins, promise to nurture him]

Brandon Weeden, Cle, QB
Current ADP: 175+

The Oklahoma St. gunslinger might be the Jamie Moyer of NFL draftees, but age ain't nothing but a number. The 28-year-old has the polish, poise, pocket presence and leadership skills to achieve immediate success. His quick cannon, vision and dead-on accuracy in the short-to-intermediate field (Video evidence here) should excel in Pat Shurmur's West Coast brand, a system predicated on fitting balls into tight windows. Because he's sloth-footed, the Browns' offensive line, which underperformed last year, must protect him adequately. If that happens, the former New York Yankees prospect could pitch useful numbers in deeper leagues. Richardson figures to be a beast of burden. His ability to weaken defenses should greatly enhance the pass game, particularly late in contests. That combined with No. 1 target Greg Little's anticipated growth, should lead the signal caller to respectable fantasy numbers next season. He's far from QB1 material even in 14-team leagues, but if everything clicks, Weeden could be more winner than Wienke in his kick-off campaign. Count on him as a QB2 in challenging formats.

Fearless Forecast: 3,942 passing yards, 22 passing touchdowns, 20 interceptions, 67 rushing yards, 1 rushing touchdown

Michael Floyd, Ari, WR
Current ADP: 114.4 (WR45)

When Larry Fitzgerald asks, he receives. The decorated wideout, the heart and soul of the Cardinals organization, requested GM Rod Graves draft Floyd if he fell into 'Zona's lap at No. 13. Ever the suitor, Graves complied, nabbing the Golden Domer with the club's only first-round pick. Floyd, like Blackmon, is quite the physical specimen. At 6-foot-3, 220-pounds few cornerbacks will DDT the receiver. Also equipped with terrific downfield speed, an attack-first mentality, excellent leaping ability and reliable hands, he's an ideal compliment to Fitz. Floyd's breaks, particularly on short routes, are a work in progress, but he should prove useful in spurts exploiting many one-on-one opportunities. Kevin Kolb's fluttering deep ball limits his initial worth somewhat, but he is more than capable of developing into a fringe WR3 in competitive formats as the season progresses. For now, label him an upside bench wideout in 12-teamers.

Fearless Forecast: 59 receptions, 777 receiving yards, 5 receiving touchdowns

Joe Adams, Car, WR
Current ADP: 175+

Put the Noise on record: Adams outproduces first-round pick Kendall Wright next year. Though diminutive, the fleet-footed Arkansas standout is a near carbon-copy of Minnesota's Percy Harvin. Suffice it to say, Brandon LaFell's sleeper status just expired. Super explosive, shifty and elusive, he has the wheels and wiggle to humiliate defenders in the open field (See him in action here). Since Smith draws endless attention, the youngster will be gifted a number of exploitable opportunities whether lined up inside, out or, on the rare occasion, as an H-back. He'll also be a force in leagues that track return yardage. If he takes advantage, Adams and Cam Newton could become one lethal combination on bubble screens and deep routes, provided he avoids the infirmary. While in Fayetteville in 2009, Adams suffered a stroke, a frightening setback that caused him to slip to the fourth round. But now 100-percent healthy, prospective buyers shouldn't be overly concerned. Before going kicker in the final round, make him your true "Mr. Irrelevant."

Fearless Forecast: 51 receptions, 617 receiving yards, 144 rushing yards, 6 total touchdowns

Ronnie Hillman, Den, RB
Current ADP: 175+

When Hillman received a phone call from Broncos brass about his employment, he was "very surprised." With bulky workhorses Chris Polk and Robert Turbin still on the board, so was the fantasy community. The product from Marshall Faulk-U (San Diego St.) has some similarities to the Hall of Famer. The 5-foot-9, 200-pound scat-back is equipped with eye-blinking quickness, sharp vision and versatility, characteristics Faulk flashed for years with the Rams. Pass blocking is a glaring weakness, a phase of his game that must substantially improve if he wants to remain on the field, but the opportunity for immediate carries is there. Because Knowshon Moreno could begin the season on the PUP list and Willis McGahee, on the wrong side of 30, is best suited for power-only work in a timeshare, Hillman has shocker special potential. Second year rusher Mario Fannin is a dark-horse who could emerge and Lance Ball will also vie for touches in training camp, but the rookie has the strongest odds of nailing down the third-down role come August. Follow his progress closely, PPR owners.

Fearless Forecast: 108 attempts, 475 rushing yards, 46 receptions, 359 receiving yards, 4 total touchdowns

Robert Turbin, Sea, RB
Current ADP: 175+

Obviously, defenses will "Taste the Rainbow" early and often next season, but in the tragic event Marshawn Lynch were to succumb to major injury, Turbin will be a difference-maker. Standing at 5-foot-10, 220-pounds, Beast Mode Jr. is rolling beer keg personified. He's a relentless interior runner with a deceptively quick first step, a perfect fit for Seattle's zone-blocking scheme (Eye candy here). Due to his attacking nature, no doubt, if pressed into a feature role he would pile up yards after contact. Of course, Lynch is expected to tote the load, but with Turbin in the mix it's possible Pete Carroll has designs of slightly reducing his lead back's touches. The 32-carry game Lynch logged against Baltimore Week 10 last year, for example, could be a thing of the past. Barring a catastrophe between now and fantasy draft season, Turbin is nothing more than a late-round handcuff. But he's one wrenched ankle away from becoming a waivers savior even in the shallowest of leagues. Dynasty players take note.

Fearless Forecast: 101 attempts, 441 rushing yards, 17 receptions, 105 receiving yards, 3 total touchdowns

Others to Watch: LaMichael James, SF, RB, Lamar Miller, Mia, RB, Isaiah Pead, StL, RB, Mohamed Sanu, Cin, WR, Alshon Jeffery, Chi, WR, Kendall Wright, Ten, WR, Stephen Hill, NYJ, WR, Ryan Tannehill, Mia, QB, Chris Rainey, Pit, RB, Nick Toon, NO, WR, A.J. Jenkins, SF, WR

FOR MORE DRAFT COVERAGE LISTEN TO THE FANTASY FREAK SHOW PODCAST HERE

Bring the Noise on Twitter. Follow Brad @YahooNoise. Also listen to him alongside fellow "experts" Brandon Funston, Andy Behrens and Scott Pianowski every Friday starting at 8 PM ET on the Fantasy Freak Show, only on Yahoo! Sports Radio

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There weren't a lot of expectations placed on the Houston Astros entering the 2012 season. Vegas pegged them to win 63.5 games before the year, and when I gathered eight friends for an over/under pool, only one person had the nerve to call "over" on this group. (Perhaps Erin had some inside information, living in Houston, or maybe it was a heart over head pick. Either way, she's on pace to scoop that one.)

Now that we're three weeks into the campaign, I'm ready to hop on the Metro. These Astros are competitive, at least for fantasy purposes.

You're not going to find a lot of pop with the current lineup, but don't dismiss Houston out of hand. The Astros have scored 95 runs in their 20 games (fourth-best in the National league) and they've collected 17 steals (tied for second in the NL). Much like the Astros of yesteryear, the guys who played in the dome, this club nicks and pings you into submission, death by 1,000 cuts.

Friday was another case in point, as the Astros made good use of their nine hits, rolling to a 6-4 victory over Cincinnati. There wasn't a Houston homer to be found, but five singles, two doubles, a triple and a couple of steals padded the offensive line nicely.

The lineup runs out of steam near the bottom of the order, like a lot of NL clubs do, but you can make a strong case that the top five hitters in Houston are under-owned in Yahoo! fantasy groups. Make the jump and let's give them all a look under the spotlight:

-- Jordan Schafer (54 percent) is making things go from the leadoff spot, with 15 runs, seven steals and a .345 OBP. He'll never be a dynamic power source, but he has a couple of homers, too. His increased batting eye (10 walks) is the key here; Schafer has reached base safely in all 20 games. He'll be parked at the top of the order, running freely, all season.

-- Jose Altuve (56 percent) is all about slashing, line drives all over the park (23.8 percent of the time, in fact). He's off to a .378 start, with a homer and four steals, and you'll love watching Altuve on a nightly basis. It's no surprise the 5-foot-7 powder keg ripped through the minors so quickly; he rocked a .389/.426/.591 line at two stops last year, forcing the Astros to promote him from Double-A. Look for a plus average going forward, along with some pop and a bushel of steals (25 or more). I can't understand why Altuve isn't closing in on universal-league ownership; I'd take him over Jemile Weeks (68 percent), Omar Infante (64 percent), Daniel Murphy (61 percent) and Neil Walker (57 percent), just to name a few.

-- J.D. Martinez (68 percent) is one of those hitters who never had the scouts that interested, but what's wrong with a .342/.407/.551 line through 298 minor-league games? He still has some split issues to work out - improvement is needed on the road and against right-handed pitching - but he's held his own through 72 big-league games (.283 average, .790 OPS). If you project his career MLB stats to a full season, you get 20 homers, 83 runs and 121 RBIs. I wouldn't chase that RBI total, but a .285-85-20-85 type of season looks very attainable. He might have been dropped in your league after a quiet week; check the wire.

-- Carlos Lee (65 percent) is perfectly named for his club and uniform number; literally, this is Colt 45. He's still giving us a neutral average and strong run production (on a pace to top 100 RBIs), and you have to admire any batter who has more walks than strikeouts. It will be interesting to see if Lee sticks in Houston all summer, because he could be of use to a contending club.

-- Jed Lowrie (9 percent) is the most underrated name in the Top 5, another slasher (26.8 line-drive rate) who covers a couple of infield spots (shortstop, third). Don't let his 6-foot-0, 180-pound frame trip you up; he's posted 20 homers over 861 pro at-bats. The key with Lowrie never changes; he just needs to stay healthy and a breakout can happen.

There's one final Astro to open your mind up to, closer Brett Myers (55 percent). His handshakes are just as good as anyone else's. Myers is 4-for-4 on conversions this month, allowing just one run over 5.2 crisp innings (3 H, 1 R, 1 BB, 5 K). And he's the rare closer who carries dual eligibility, a handy thing to take advantage of. Myers will probably be dangled in trade talks all year - a non-contending club has no reason to carry a high-priced closer - but in the meantime, he's the owner of this bullpen. Any team can support a 25-save closer if they coddle the man in charge, and that's what skipper Brad Mills is going to do.

When you add it all up, this is another lesson in how important it is to know all of the teams inside and out, even the unexciting, small-market clubs. Every Astro we discussed in this piece was drafted outside the Top 220, on average, in Yahoo! leagues this spring (oddly, they all fell between 223 and 242). Stay open minded at all times, gamers. There's some roto goodness to be had in every city.

While you ponder how many Altuve rookie cards you want to stock up on, let's hit some bullets from the Friday sandlots:

• Don't look back, Javy Guerra, someone might be gaining on you. The LA closer is dealing with a sore foot - a residual from Brian McCann's line-drive Wednesday - and it kept him out of the mix for Friday's series opener against Washington. Kenley Jansen stepped into the save-grabbing role nicely, retiring three of four men and pouring in 11 strikes on 17 pitches. It's very important for Guerra to have a sharp outing or two when he returns to action, because another misstep would put Don Mattingly in a ticklish position.

Nationals lefty Ross Detwiler took the loss in this game; while he was out-pitched by Clayton Kershaw, his final line wasn't bad (6 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 2 BB, 4 K). Here's hoping Detwiler sticks in the Washington rotation all year - I don't want to hear about Chien-Ming Wang - because there's an obvious breakout profile here. Detwiler was the sixth overall pick in the 2007 draft, and he threw 66 strong (if under the radar) innings in Washington last year (3.00 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 2:1 K/BB ratio). He's at home against Arizona next week.

• Daniel Bard marked his territory in the Boston rotation, working seven strong innings at Chicago (6 H, 3 R, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K) and firing 63 or 97 pitches for strikes. His next turn is at home against an Oakland club that's offensively challenged, so plan on that as a possible stream. You'll find him available in 64 percent of Yahoo! leagues. I didn't include Bard in the Friday edition of Shuffle Up for starting pitchers (no personal stake here, I just felt a bullpen shift could be imminent), but here are some prices going forward: $8 in the rotation, $15-16 if he shifts to a save role.

The White Sox lineup has plenty of guys who aren't producing, but it would be nice if Robin Ventura could figure out a fit for the No. 2 position. Brent Morel (.171/.216/.200) crippled that spot for a few weeks, and lately it's been Alexei Ramirez (.203/.232/.266). Come on, skip, you need to be smarter than that. Perhaps catcher A.J. Pierzynski (.377 OBP, more walks than strikeouts) will get a trial at some point. At least the three biggest walkers on the roster thus far (De Aza, Dunn, Konerko) are locked into the 1-3-4 spots. But Ventura needs to find someone productive for that No. 2 assignment.

• When Josh Reddick sees Baltimore on the schedule, his production spikes. It's a shame he'll hardly see these guys now that he's in the AL West. Reddick clocked a homer at Camden Yards on Friday and now has a .359 average and six homers in 24 Baltimore games. He shows an odd platoon split for his career - his OPS is 111 points higher against lefties - but hopefully Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill will figure it out. Reddick would probably be a bottom-third hitter on most clubs (if he were even a starter), but he's forced into the No. 3 slot in Oakland, a production spot. He's out there for your consideration in 94 percent of Yahoo! leagues.

• It's far too early in Jesus Montero's career to make strong assumptions on anything, but it's interesting to note that he's rocking a 1.218 OPS in his five catching games this year, as opposed to a .510 OPS in the 14 stints as a DH. In many cases there's a correlation between offensive production and having a spot in the field; Frank Thomas, to name one notable slugger, absolutely hated to DH and it showed in his splits. All that said, Montero handled the DH gig just fine on Friday, thanks, collecting a homer and single as the Mariners cruised to a 9-5 win. The stealth M's are now 11-10 after a four-game winning streak, putting them in second place in the AL West. Not even hitting Brendan Ryan in the No. 2 spot (predictable collar) could stop this surging group as it hit the YYZ.

• Make it four straight useful starts from Cory Luebke (and three straight wins), as he turned in a quality turn at San Francisco (6 IP, 7 H, 2 R, 0 BB, 3 K). He's always loved pitching out of a suitcase, posting a 2.75 ERA and 1.09 WHIP in his road work. I can't wait until his luck at Petco normalizes (3.69, 1.12). The Padres bullpen was steady enough to close up. Andrew Cashner allowed a homer in the eighth, opposite two strikeouts, while Luke Gregerson worked a scoreless seventh and Huston Street was smooth in the ninth. Chase Headley scored two runs and knocked one in; the home-road splits make perfect sense in his case (he rocks on the road, he's punchless in Petco). Maybe someday we'll get to see what he can do in a neutral environment.

• A bunch of Friday's news came early and from matters off the field, so let's play traffic cop. The Bryce Harper celebration is right here, the Mike Trout promotion party is in full swing here, and the Mike Scioscia bullpen shuffle is over here. One thing to keep in mind as you play with your shiny new toys; potential tends to be an overrated commodity in most non-keeper leagues. The best time to shop a Harper or a Trout might be before they ever take a major-league at-bat. Your mileage may vary, of course, and I don't know your league as well as you do, but just keep an open mind.

In many years, the sweet spot for prospect callups is the first week of June. For 2012, it's all about April 28.

The Nationals made the call for Bryce Harper during east coast drive time Friday evening, and the Angels have since upped the ante. Los Angeles released spare part Bobby Abreu on Friday, and with the corresponding move they'll add Mike Trout from Triple-A Salt Lake.

Although Harper is slightly ahead of Trout on most long-term prospect lists (Baseball America has them first and third, respectively), Trout is the more appealing fantasy play for immediate dividends. Trouts, at 20, is 14 months older than Harper, and he's played four years of pro ball to Harper's two. Trout also has 30 games of big league experience already under his belt, logging 123 at-bats last year (five homers, four steals, .220/.281/.390).

Trout's been crushing it in the minors this year, posting a .403/.467/.623 line over 20 games. He's only got one homer (along with four doubles and five triples), but he's also posted 21 runs and six steals. Los Angeles manager Mike Scioscia says Trout "will play," whatever that turns out to mean.

It's a desperate time for the win-now Angels; they dropped a 3-2 decision at Cleveland on Friday and are now 6-14 on the year. The offense has just 74 runs. Texas holds a 9.5-game lead on the Halos as this blog goes to post, though the Rangers are trailing in their game against Tampa Bay. Surely the Angels saw the writing on the wall and felt moves had to be made; earlier in the day, closer Jordan Walden was temporary stripped of his ninth-inning duties (lefty Scott Downs will close in the meantime).

I can't tell you where Scioscia will slot Trout in the order, or how long the experiment will go on. It seems logical that Trout will mostly take over for center fielder Peter Bourjos, but nothing is definite until they line up on the field. One thing we can say for certain: Trout's 22-percent ownership at the Y! is about to go through the roof. Everyone seems to feel Trout is destined to be a star someday, it's just a matter of when the time arrives.

On Thursday, Jordan Walden blew a save opportunity for the first time this season, giving up a two-run homer in the ninth to Brandon Allen. On Friday, Angels manager Mike Scioscia removed Walden from the closer's role.

I'm having trouble processing this news, because where I'm from (Chicago), managers don't even bother to give pep talks to closers until their blown save totals reach double-digits.

Scott Downs has been reassigned to the ninth inning — temporarily, according to the early reports — while Walden works through a few issues. Here's Scioscia, via the Los Angeles Times:

"Right now, we want to get Jordan some innings where he can work on some things," Scioscia said. "It should be a quick fix. When Jordan gets his stuff right, it will play in the closer spot, and that's what we're working toward."

[...]

"It's tough to experiment in the ninth inning of a game," Scioscia said. "We want to put him in situations where he can still help our bullpen but be able to throw some pitches where the game is not won or lost."

So this doesn't actually sound like a permanent move, assuming Walden can indeed "get his stuff right." He's still throwing 97-98 mph, he's only allowed runs in two of his six appearances, and Thursday's homer was the first given up by Walden this season. Control has been the problem here.

For now, Downs is in line for saves. The 36-year-old left-hander has been an excellent late-inning reliever over multiple seasons, and he's been a fill-in closer, too. Add him wherever he's available. But maybe pitch an offer for Walden if his owner is ready to kick him to the curb.

Repeat: This is *NOT* a drill. This is an actual fantasy event. You are expected to react, fantasy owner.

The Washington Nationals have announced that 19-year-old Bryce Harper, the first overall pick in the 2010 MLB draft, will be promoted from Triple-A Syracuse. He'll make his big league debut at Dodger Stadium on Saturday, facing Chad Billingsley.

This was surely not the original plan for Harper, but Ryan Zimmerman (shoulder) is about to hit the disabled list, so the Nats are in search of offense. Michael Morse is also on the DL, Mark DeRosa has been a mess, and Roger Bernadina is still Roger Bernadina. Thus, the Harper call-up. He's barely treading water at Triple-A right now (.250/.333/.375, HR, SB), although we should note that he's 9-for-31 over his last 10 games. Harper's power potential is well-documented, but he offers decent speed as well. He swiped 26 bags across two minor league levels last season.

Of course you should absolutely not expect a 19-year-old to carry your fantasy team, or even perform like a replacement-level mixed league outfielder. It's rare for any player to reach the majors before his 20th birthday. Don't do anything irresponsible here — no insane drops, please — and let's try to keep the expectations reasonable. Harper should play every day in the near term, so that's something. You have to give him at least a puncher's chance. Back in February, we offered Ken Griffey Jr.'s age-19 stat line as a point of comparison (61-16-61-16-.264); if Harper can approach those numbers, everyone should be impressed.

The right play here is to take advantage of the call-up buzz, adding Harper wherever you can and placing him immediately on the trade block. If you can sell the brand-name and fill a need, great. Harper is available in over 70 percent of Yahoo! leagues as of this moment, but he'll be flying off the shelves throughout the weekend. Make your move.

Under normal circumstances, this feature is going to be focused almost exclusively on prospects, by which we mean young minor league players, guys nowhere near their peak. Each Friday, I'll have to find new ways to hype Trevor Bauer, Nolan Arenado, Dylan Bundy, Mike Trout, Danny Hultzen, Billy Hamilton, Will Middlebrooks, and the rest of the usual suspects.

But today we're taking a different approach. Today, we need to turn our attention to an older minor league demographic. Consider this a Bryan LaHair tribute if you like. Or it's a celebration of Brandon Weeden. Or it's a tip of the cap to Brandon Moss, a man who just recorded his 1,000th career minor league hit.

In any case, there are at least two recent call-ups you'll want to be familiar with, and neither is a prospect in the traditional sense...

• The Tigers just plucked 31-year-old Brad Eldred out of Triple-A Toledo, where he's been terrorizing the pitchers of the International League. Over the first 20 games of his season, Eldred is hitting .388 with an OBP of .444 and a slugging percentage of 1.013. The man already has 23 extra-base hits to his credit, including 13 home runs. He's gone deep five times in his last three games. No player at any level of professional baseball, other than Matt Kemp, is putting up numbers like those.

Eldred has of course made cameo appearances in the majors before — first in 2005, then in 2007 and 2010 — and the results haven't been great (career .204/.259/.419). At this stage, it would really be a surprise if he were to binge for an extended period of time in the big leagues.

Still, Detroit is going to give the vet a look. Jim Leyland makes a fair point right here...

"We have the hottest hitter in all of minor league baseball. I'm going to DH him. How long depends on how he does. He's doing something everyone is talking about. Maybe he can get us going."

...so consider Eldred in deep leagues, if you have a clear need for power.

• Does everyone remember Michael Taylor, the Philly-then-Oakland outfield prospect who seemed like such a strong 20/20 candidate back in the day? Taylor essentially cleared the path that Domonic Brown is following.

Well, the A's just recalled the 26-year-old Taylor, because there's a possibility that Coco Crisp could soon be making his first DL visit of the season. This from Susan Slusser of the San Francisco Chronicle:

Outfielder Michael Taylor is here in Baltimore with the A's, and it appears that if Coco Crisp remains too ill to play tomorrow that Taylor will take Crisp's spot on the roster, with Crisp going onto the DL. ... [Crisp's health issue] was initially thought to be the flu, then an inner-ear infection, and he was still dizzy and had some nausea on Monday when he played.

Taylor has been feasting in the PCL, posting a .366/.393/.573 slash-line over 19 games. (I realize that seems insignificant when compared to Eldred's year-to-date performance, but so do all other hitting stats, everywhere). Crisp's name is actually on Friday's lineup card, however, so we'll just see how this thing plays out.

• You'll probably never believe this, but Matt LaPorta is absolutely raking at Triple-A. Stunning development. When has that ever happened?

Actually, it happens every time LaPorta visits the International League, which of course seems to occur every season. The 27-year-old LaPorta has banged out 28 homers for Columbus in 558 career at-bats, hitting .320/.404/.568. He has clearly mastered the level; he's hit five bombs so far this year, while batting .364. But the majors have been a different story, as you all know. And Cleveland's roster does not exactly lack for DH-types at the moment, so there's no promotion imminent.

• Here's another name from the 2008 cold case files: Travis Snider. He's hitting .400/.477/.693 at Triple-A Las Vegas, with four homers, 10 doubles and two stolen bases. Snider suffered a wrist injury of as-yet-unknown severity on Thursday night, so he could be sidelined for a few days. There's no obvious spot for the 24-year-old in Toronto's batting order right now, but he seems like a decent trade chip for the Jays. He's not really a prospect anymore, but he's also too young to simply discard.

• The White Sox just called up RHP Dylan Axelrod from Triple-A Charlotte, where he ranked among the league leaders in Ks (26) and ERA (1.08). The 26-year-old will replace the injured Jesse Crain (oblique). Axelrod impressed in a late-season call-up last year, striking out 19 batters in 18.2 innings, going 1-0 in three starts, and delivering a 2.89 ERA. He's spent time as both a reliever and a starter in the minors, and he's really been lights-out in the International League over the past two seasons: 19 G, 8-2, 116.1 IP, 101 Ks, 25 BB, 2.01 ERA, 1.01 WHIP. He could eventually be a useful piece in AL-only formats, if/when a Sox starter breaks.

• Randy Ruiz, 34, is hitting a ton at Triple-A Reno right now, following a two-year stint in the Japan Pacific League. Ruiz is batting .344 with an OPS of .945. Of course Arizona's first base situation is complicated (and ugly) enough at the moment, without tossing Ruiz's name into the equation. Basically I'm just discussing Ruiz here in the final bullet because I owe him a thank-you for the huge second-half in 2009: 115 AB, 10 HR, .313/.385/.635. Good times, great stats.

You have to give one thing to the Boston Red Sox: for an 8-10 team, they're a fascinating story. Big names are hurt. The manager is a wild card. The starting pitching is struggling, the bullpen stinks.

And then there's the offense, that glorious offense. Between the Red Sox lineup and what opposing teams do against Boston's overrated staff, we're going to see a gigantic amount of runs scored at Fenway Park this summer. And Boston will score plenty on the road, too; witness how they've bludgeoned the Twins and White Sox in a four-game winning streak this week (not even perfect Phil Humber could stem the tide).

The second Carl Crawford cleat dropped Thursday: he's going to rehab his elbow injury (as opposed to surgery) and the timetable for a return is set at three months. On a lesser club, this would be a significant blow, but the Boston lineup (ranked second in runs, average and slugging) doesn't seem to miss Crawford at all. And don't wax poetic on his defense; a lawn chair could cover the limited real estate in Fenway Park. Crawford's absence also keeps the runaway clear for some other intriguing commodities here.

I tabbed Mike Aviles as a sleeper in March, like our entire staff did, but I'm kicking myself for not ranking him higher (I landed him a few times, anyway). Back in March it wasn't a slam dunk that he'd be the team's starting shortstop, and it looked like he'd spend most of his time slotted eighth or ninth. But things have fallen perfectly for Aviles through the opening three weeks: he's pushed his way to the top of the lineup, and he's off to a dynamite start (.324, 16 runs, four homers, 13 RBIs, three steals). With Crawford on the shelf for an extended period of time, you have to figure that Aviles will stay parked in this catbird seat for most of the season. He's not owned in all leagues yet but he should be, even in the thinnest of mixers.

A lot of fantasy sites waste your time with obvious Buy Lows and Sell Highs that aren't executable in the real world. Sure, buy low on Miguel Cabrera if you can. Got it, we want to sell high on Jake Westbrook (if only that were remotely possible in a smart league). What's much more useful in the fantasy racket is identifying the players to Buy High (or at least Hold High) and the players to Sell Low (as in, take what you get before the stock totally collapses).

Put Aviles into the legitimate file; this is what a breakthrough year looks like. He offers category juice, three positions of eligibility (second, short, third), and the setup is perfect. Aviles also has a swing that's tailor-made for Fenway Park: for his career he's a .328/.365/.487 stick in the Back Bay. (If only we could say the same thing about Crawford, who carries a .275/.305/.410 line in this park). I know Aviles doesn't have ideal leadoff-man skills (he's never had much of a walk rate), but if he stays over .300 and keeps that pretty line-drive rate (20.7 percent), the rest will take care of itself.

Boston's outfield obviously feels the sting of missing Jacoby Ellsbury and Crawford, but the leftovers (Cody Ross, Ryan Sweeney, Marlon Byrd) all have their positive points. Ross is a dead-pull hitter, lefty-killer and sneaky power source who's already shown a hankering for Fenway (five homers, .567 slugging). He's dealing with a sore knee at the moment. Sweeney's defense will probably keep him on the field even when the Glimmer Twins return, and that .383 average sure looks nice (though it comes with absolutely no category juice). Sweeney doesn't make it onto the radar in shallow mixers, but he should be valuable to deep players in a .290-73-11-57-6 sort of way. Byrd is probably going to hit eighth or ninth every night and I can't say he's a mixed-league option, but you'll take his at-bats in AL-only, where anyone breathing has value. Look for something like .270-25-5-28 for Byrd over the next three months, then look for him on the bench.

What are the conclusions here? Boston is headed for an 83-79 type of season, but it will be a fun 83-79, a slow-pitch softball game on many nights. Aviles is legit, versatile, fun. Ross has a shot at 25 homers, depending on how quickly others come back. Sweeney can't be this unlucky with his counting stats forever; in deeper mixed, you could do a lot worse. And you never, ever want to trust Crawford again, for anything. I wouldn't let him hold my place in line at the DMV.

While you're finishing off the dirty water, here are some other stories around the sandlots:

• The Detroit lineup hasn't been doing much since the opening wipeout of the Red Sox, tallying a mere 53 runs over 16 games. And now there's another headache to deal with: Delmon Young was arrested early Friday in New York; allegedly he assaulted a man and was yelling anti-Semitic epithets. Young obviously is innocent until proven guilty and I'm not going to take any strong stance on this until all the facts are in, but we also have to be rational here: this is a player with a history of emotional outbursts and poor judgment. Click on the New York Post story and decide for yourself what you make of it.

In the meantime, perhaps Ryan Raburn's value is ready to hit a spike. I know his seasonal stats are a joke, but he was 3-for-6 with a double over the last two Seattle games, making contact in all plate appearances. He's always been a bit of a streak player and Jim Leyland realizes this. Raburn carries second-base and outfield eligibility and he did swat 29 homers over the last two years (758 at-bats). Go ahead and laugh now, skeptics; I bet you'll wish you added him by the end of the weekend in New York.

• What the heck do the Angels do with Mark Trumbo? He's a defensive liability at any position, but he's also the only Angel with a batting line worth bragging about (.342/.405/.632). He whacked his third homer in Thursday's loss at Tampa Bay. I realize the Angels value defense and speed more than most clubs, but it's time for Mike Scioscia to start being proactive with his slumping group. I'm not tied to a Trumbo investment anywhere, but I sense an uptick in playing time is on the way.

Jordan Walden was a late arrival to the Year of the Blown save, handing away Thursday's lead (B.J. Upton singled, Brandon Allen homered, then the Rays had a safe dogpile at home plate). I know you can shoot holes in almost any closer these days, but nonetheless I find myself trusting Walden less than the industry consensus. I haven't forgotten about last year's 10 blown saves, or the regular bouts of wildness. (26 walks over 60.1 innings). And while Walden did average more than a strikeout per inning, let's not mistake him for Kenley Jansen. He's still figuring out how to pitch. PM Update: Walden has been temporarily removed from the closing gig, with Scott Downs moving in. Do what you have to do.

• You might not remember Randy St. Claire from his playing days; he was a forgettable setup reliever for most of his nine years in the majors, covering the mid-80s and mid-90s. St. Claire did have seven saves for the Expos in 1987, but I doubt that will be the centerpiece of Jonah Keri's upcoming book on the franchise. Now St. Claire gets paid to fix the problems of others - he's the pitching coach of the Marlins. And there's a major issue in the bullpen right now.

Heath Bell can't seem to do anything right.

Bell handed out his third loss/blown save platter Thursday in New York, giving up two runs in the bottom of the ninth. It was a story about wildness: Bell walked four batters and missed the zone on 22 of 46 pitches. He'll need a day off after this meltdown, so don't look for him to pitch Friday. (You can almost hear Blutarski now: "Bell, your Delta Tau Chi name is. … Flounder.")

The Marlins have 27 million reasons to try to fix Bell, as they handed him a generous three-year contract back in December. And there's no hot reliever breathing down Bell's neck, no buzzy closer-in-waiting name. Steve Cishek is having an effective year (1.08 ERA, 0.96 WHIP, eight strikeouts over 8.1 innings), though sometimes there's a bias against sidewinders. Edward Mujica is a late-inning option, not that he's getting people out through three weeks (6.23, 1.85). Those are your two hedges if you feel one is necessary. I'll be stunned if the Marlins make a change here, unless they decide Bell has a physical problem and needs time on the disabled list. Bell only issued 44 unintentional walks the last two seasons; I have to assume there's something correctable here.

Speed Round: Dusty Baker tends to be patient with his closers, so no worrying over Sean Marshall's blown save against the Giants. And heck, Angel Pagan hit a pretty touch pitch if you ask me. Santiago Casilla closed up nicely on the other side, fanning three batters on a modest 14 pitches. … It was another soccer match at Petco, with the Friars taking down the Nats with a couple of runs off Tyler Clippard. The San Diego bullpen closed up according to plan, with Andrew Cashner handling the eighth and Huston Street on for the ninth. Cashner now has six straight clean outings since his April 13 meltdown at Los Angeles; I'm back in on him as a saves-speculation play (Street seems to get hurt every year). … With Jim Johnson (infection) still away from the club, the Orioles keep handing out the rogue saves. Hard-throwing Pedro Strop picked up a couple Tuesday and Wednesday, and then it was Luis Ayala's turn on Thursday. I pegged the Orioles for a 95-loss team a month ago, but perhaps I underestimated the power of the retro logo. Nolan Reimold (neck) finally got back into it, going 1-for-5 with a couple of strikeouts. … Seattle finished up a sweep in Detroit, with Justin Smoak crushing a three-run homer off meatball artist sinkerballer Rick Porcello. Can't blame that one on the infield defense, kid. Get to know Seattle setup man Tom Wilhelmsen: he's fashioned a 2.08 ERA and 1.08 WHIP over 13 crisp innings, with 16 strikeouts against just three walks. If the Mariners fall out of the playoff hunt, closer Brandon League could be dangled during the trading season. … Pity the plight of the Royals fan, forced to watch Yuniesky Betancourt batting leadoff. Okay, Betancourt is hitting .310, somehow, and the Royals finally won a couple of games, taking down Cleveland twice this week. Jonathan Broxton danced around a couple of baserunners Thursday and picked up his second handshake (he should slog his way to 25 of those). Aaron Crow dodged two walks in a scoreless eighth, settling into the No. 2 chair.