Roto Arcade - Fantasy


Each week the Noise highlights six unobviousnames who he believes are destined to morph into human torpedos. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As anaccountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system listed here. Cyber-bullies, feel free to tweet your hindsight jabs here.

Jay Cutler(notes), Chi, QB (Noise Week 2 QB Rank: 15, 55-percent started)
Matchup: at Dal

Cutler routinely slugs back cans of Smug Light, but this week in Dallas, he’ll be served a large glass of humble. Underneath his stupendous fantasy line from a week ago (372-2-1, 22 rushing yards) the turnover magnet couldn’t avoid his usual missteps, gifting the Lions the football twice. Though he was able to overcome his mistakes with relative ease agasint Detroit, the same won’t be true against a more formidable Cowboys secondary. Including last week’s donut from Donovan McNabb(notes), Mike Jenkins(notes) and company have allowed just one multi-TD passer since Week 8 of last year. Earlier this week Cutler credited the Dallas defense for being “physical, fast” and, most insightfully, moving around to “do some stuff.” As Bears fans witnessed all too often a year ago, the prized quarterback is poised for an ego-deflating meltdown.

Fearless Forecast: 23-38, 268 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 4 total turnovers, 13 fantasy points

Frank Gore(notes), SF, RB (Noise Week 2 RB Rank: 20, 96-percent)
Matchup: vs. NO

Dysfunctional is a description which normally typifies the other Bay Area team, not the Niners. However, Gore and company currently have more problems than Kate Gosselin does kids. As Y! colleague Jason Cole reported earlier this week, communication breakdowns between Alex Smith and offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye have been commonplace. Unfairly, the quarterback, not the man calling the plays, received the brunt of the blame for San Fran’s laughable effort last week in Seattle. Gore has demanded more touches this week against the defending world champs and likely will be featured early, but don’t expect headline numbers when the dust settles. The Niners offense is simply too disoriented right now. Throw in San Fran’s inability to contain Drew Brees(notes), and Gore could be the second-straight consensus top-five pick to notch lackluster numbers against New Orleans. Darren McFadden(notes) (vs. StL), Brandon Jackson(notes) (vs. Buf) and Ahmad Bradshaw(notes) (at Ind) are stronger plays.

Fearless Forecast: 19 carries, 74 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 15 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8 fantasy points

Jahvid Best(notes), Det, RB (Noise Week 2 RB Rank: 25, 66-percent)
Matchup: vs. Phi

Our adoration for Best is well-known. Recall, we anointed him the Ray Rice of 2010 back in August. However, even the Baltimore back had a couple gut-punching efforts a season ago. This will be the Cal product’s first. Overshadowed by his two touchdowns, the rookie averaged a paltry 1.4 yards per carry against the Bears in Week 1. The stingy Eagles will likely limit the rusher to another flavorless per clip average this week. With Shaun Hill(notes) at the helm, Best will be tested. Can he handle the expanded workload and added pressure in the face of an unflinching opponent? Probably not. Due to his versatility and explosiveness in the open field, he will surely be the focal point of Sean McDermott’s defensive game plan. Unless Hill can keep the defense honest early by stretching the field with Calvin Johnson(notes), overstacked boxes will be prevalent. Keep in mind Philly has surrendered only one 100-yard rusher in their past 24 games. Make that 25. Only deep PPR players should roll the dice.

Fearless Forecast: 15 carries, 62 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 18 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8 fantasy points

Ronnie Brown(notes), Mia, RB (Noise Week 2 WR Rank: 31, 65-percent)
Matchup: at Min

Against the Purple People Eaters, Brown will be a fantasy clown. As experienced owners know, the Williams Wall is practically immovable. Only two rushers, Matt Forte(notes) (2008) and Cedric Benson(notes) (2009), have surpassed 80 rushing yards in a game against the Vikes in their past 24 contests at home. Because of Chad Henne’s(notes) struggles in Buffalo (21-34, 182 yards, 0 TDs), stopping the run will be task No. 1 for defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier. Though Brown feels revitalized, he’s still in a strict platoon with Ricky Williams(notes). Given the split in carries and unfavorable matchup he needs to be benched in all but the deepest of leagues. Peyton Hillis(notes) (vs. KC), LaDainian Tomlinson(notes) (vs. NE) and Beanie Wells(notes) (at Atl) posses more upside in Week 2.

Fearless Forecast: 14 carries, 52 rushing yards, 2 receptions 11 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 6 fantasy points

Dwayne Bowe(notes), KC, WR (Noise Week 2 Rank: 35, 70-percent)
Matchup: at Cle

On the road against an underappreciated Browns secondary, Matt Cassel’s(notes) top vertical weapon will be more Rain-Bowe Brite than Ram-Bowe. Slippery conditions obviously played a major factor in the wideout’s invisible performance Monday night against the Chargers. Targeted the same number of times as Washington’s Anthony Armstrong(notes), he hauled in just one catch for 13 yards. The only direction for Bowe is up, but don’t expect spectacular totals in Cleveland. The Chihuahuas held the top target in check last season at Arrowhead, limiting him to four catches for 56 yards. Due to Cleveland's shortcomings on run defense, thunder and lightning combination Thomas Jones(notes) and Jamaal Charles(notes) will be the point of offensive emphasis. Keep in mind only two wideouts eclipsed 80 yards against the Browns at home last year. Mohamed Massaquoi(notes) (vs. KC), Steve Breaston(notes) (at Atl), Legedu Naanee(notes) (vs. Jac) and Austin Collie(notes) (vs. NYG) are sounder options.

Fearless Forecast: 5 receptions, 43 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 4 fantasy points

Randy Moss(notes), NE, WR (Noise Week 2 WR Rank: 44, 94-percent)
Matchup: at NYJ

Maybe if Moss hires a voluptuous model to dress provocatively and “report” from the Jets sideline, he could create a big enough distraction to escape from Revis Island. Then again, maybe not. The blanketing corner has absolutely owned the multi-time Pro Bowler in recent meetings. Last year, the “country strong” receiver posted wimpy numbers against him, catching just nine passes for 58 yards and a touchdown in two games. Revis moved around versus the Ravens but is expected to be fixed on Moss. With that in mind, Wes Welker(notes), Kevin Faulk(notes) and dark-horse Brandon Tate(notes) should be Tom Brady’s(notes) primary targets. In this case, the “slouch” description definitely applies. Louis Murphy(notes) (vs. StL), Greg Camarillo(notes) (vs. Mia) and T.J. Houshmandzadeh(notes) (at Cin) are better gambles. Trust Moss against Revis and you have less common sense than Clinton Portis(notes).

Fearless Forecast: 3 receptions, 26 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 2 fantasy points

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