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Currently, C.C. Sabathia has the same number of quality starts as Carmelo Anthony does successful sobriety tests - zero. 

Yippee friggin' skippee.

Tonight's totally awesome line against the revived Tigers: 4 IP, 9 ER, 8 H, 5 BB, K, and 2 HR

Maybe the pressures of pitching for a phat contract are weighing heavily on him.

Maybe the excessive workload of the '07 season (241 IP) has caught up to him.

Maybe he's worried about the pounds of snacks he'll need to provide for his upcoming charity "Slugger Sleepover."

Maybe the buckets of Popeye's fried chicken have finally clogged the canals of his cerebral cortex.

With his ERA now up to 13.50, it's apparent, something is plaguing the AL's reigning Cy Young king.

Watching the corpulent southpaw attempt to pitch on MLBTV tonight was disheartening. Although his fastball routinely registered in the mid-90s, his slider's location was again wildly inconsistent. Overall, his command, as it's been in his previous three starts, was noticeably absent. Mentally battered and bruised, he appeared lifeless, distraught and dejected when yanked in the top of the 5th. 

Until C.C. can reconstruct his confidence and attack hitters with the same zeal that made him one of the game's most dominant pitchers last year, he's bench, but not waiver wire, material. 

Thousands of Y! users will stupidly contemplate dropping or selling low on their troubled ace over the next five days. If they do, feed on the feeble. Coming into tonight's start, his very unlucky BABIP stood at .442.

Health-wise he seems fine. Once he makes the necessary adjustments, regains his command and rediscovers his in-game rhythm, the stellar stats will return.

*John Bowker, one of the few Giants younger than John McCain, was promoted from the sixth to the fifth spot and recorded his fourth-straight game with a hit. More importantly, he was shifted from RF to 1B late in the game, potentially foreshadowing where he'll play more regularly later this year. The 99.7 percent available Bowker, who launched 22 homers in 522 at-bats at Double-A Connecticut in '07, is someone worth rostering in all deep mixed and NL-only leagues.

*Hopscotch extraordinaire, Alfonso Soriano, was placed on the 15-day DL with a strained right calf. The Cubs recalled Eric Patterson, surprisingly not Matt Murton, from Triple-A Iowa to fill the vacant roster spot. The speedy Patterson is expected to see spotty action over the next couple of weeks. Mike Fontenot (0.26 percent owned), who went 1-for-5 with a run scored and an RBI against Cincinnati Wednesday, will see a major at-bats spike with Soriano sidelined.

*The benefactor of Sabathia's meltdown, Detroit rookie Armando "The Tidy Cat" Galarraga, tossed 6.2 innings of one-hit ball, yielding two earned with six strikeouts and zero walks. Labeled a marginal prospect by Baseball America, Galarraga has decent, but not spectacular, stuff. He'll receive at least one more start with Dontrelle Willis disabled.

*Quietly, the "Canadian Soprano," Joey Votto, is earning more and more playing time. Tonight in the very Windy City, the smooth-swinging hook collected his second multi-hit game (2-for-4, R, RBI, 2 2Bs) in his past four contests, raising his season BA to .333. If he continues to stroke the stick, the 85 percent available youngster will be more than a semi-regular soon. Owners in deep 12-team mixed leagues should snag him off waivers.

*The answer to the question, "Who is Jose Valverde's handcuff?" - Doug Brocail. The 14-year veteran faced four hitters, striking out two of them, to earn his first save since 2005. Valverde had a positive bullpen session before the game, but was deemed unavailable. Cecil Cooper commented after the game, "Valverde is our closer, no question about it." Brocail was available in 99.9 percent of Y! league heading into the week.

*Hobbled NL MVP, Jimmy Rollins, won't return to the Philadelphia starting lineup until at least Saturday due to a funeral for his uncle. In his second pinch-hit appearance in less than a week, Rollins slapped a single, but was noticeably gimpy running to first. The additional time off should be beneficial.

*Cardinals leadoff man Skip Schumaker continued to rip the baseball tonight. Including tonight's 2-for-4 performance against Milwaukee, the 0.31 percent owned outfielder is 14-for-33 with 10 runs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs and 3 SBs since April 8. Schumaker has low double-digit speed upside and is a quality source of runs as long as he continues to make solid contact. He shouldn't be available in any NL-only leagues.

*Mike Jacobs slammed his NL-leading sixth homer off Tim Hudson. The 62 percent available one-bagger is destined to blast at least 20-25 homers this year.

*Boston Civil War general Kevin Youkilis exited in the sixth against the Yankees after fouling a ball of his left big toe. X-Rays were negative. He's listed as day-to-day.

*The needle on the Billy Butler Ass-O-Meter reads: 1-for-4, RBI, Season: .345 BA.

Update: To prove that Sabathia, like millions of us, really does enjoy the taste of fried poultry I've inserted the link where the information was pulled from.

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